Friday, September 19, 2014        Edition: #5309

Ahhhh, Your Daily Bovine Colonic!

★ Saturday a memorial for actress, writer, and civil rights activist Ruby Dee will feature music by Alicia Keys, a eulogy by singer Harry Belafonte, and readings of her poetry & prose by various actors including Angela Bassett. The celebration of Lee’s life is being held at NYC’s Riverside Church. Dee died on June 11th at age 91. Her long career earned her an Emmy, a Grammy, and 2 SAG Awards. Her films included “A Raisin In the Sun” (1961), “Do the Right Thing” (1989), and “American Gangster” (2007), for which she was nominated for an Oscar.
– AP
★ New details about movie star George Clooney’s wedding to lawyer-fiancée Amal Alamuddin have emerged. The latest word is they’re planning to keep the nuptials classy and low key, with only 60 guests invited. On Friday, September 26th, they’ll reportedly hold a ‘casual’ dinner at Venice, Italy’s Hotel Cipriani (where suites start at $1,490 per night). The next morning, the couple plan to don formal attire and head to the Aman Canal Grande Venice hotel to tie the knot at 11am, according to sources. Clooney’s best bud Rande Gerber (Mr Cindy Crawford) will reportedly serve as ‘Best Man’; Andrea Bocelli is said to be performing; and – perhaps surprisingly – the bride’s family is apparently footing most of the bill.
– “Us Weekly”
★ And 71-year-old actor Robert De Niro has moved into what’s touted as NYC’s ‘Most Expensive Rental Apartment’ … at a cost of $125,000-a-month. The Oscar-winning star, a native New Yorker, is believed to have relocated to Apartment 35AB at 15 Central Park West with wife Grace Hightower while renovations are carried out on their fire-damaged home. The sprawling residence is a combination of 2 luxurious condos that have been formed into one enormous space covering an entire floor of the Manhattan address. We’re guessing an insurance company is paying.
– “Page Six”

• BET Hip Hop Awards (Atlanta GA) – Saturday Snoop Dogg hosts at the Atlanta Civic Center. Drake leads nominations with 8, followed by Future, Jay Z, and Pharrell Williams with 6 each. An edited version of the gala airs on BET October 14th.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Shawn Mendes (“Life Of the Party”).
• “The Good Wife” (CBS) – Sunday Julianna Margulies returns for the 6th season premiere.
• iHeartRadio Music Festival” (Las Vegas NV) – Taylor Swift headlines the star-studded line-up. Ariana Grande, Bastille, Coldplay, Ed Sheeran, Iggy Azala, Lorde, Nicki Minaj, One Direction and Usher are also playing the annual 3-day festival. Country acts on the bill include Eric Church, Kacey Musgraves, and Zac Brown Band.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Ingrid Michaelson (“Girls & Boys”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Franz Ferdinand (“Late Night Tales”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Tonight Interpol (“El Pintor”). Rerun.
• “Madam Secretary” (CBS) – Sunday the series debut of a new drama that follows the personal and professional life of a US Secretary of State. Téa Leoni stars.
• “The Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – Today legendary singer-songwriter Carole King.
• Music Midtown Festival (Atlanta GA) – Now in its 4th year, this Friday-Saturday event in Piedmont Park includes Bastille, BoB, Eminem, Iggy Azalea, Jack White, John Mayer, Lana Del Rey (maybe), Lorde, and Twenty One Pilots among others.
• “On the Run Tour: Beyoncé & Jay Z” (HBO) – Saturday night music’s power couple performs in Paris, France, wrapping up their 1st-ever collaborative tour. Recorded last weekend.
• “60 Minutes” (CBS) – Sunday the acclaimed news magazine’s 47th season debut. (David Lettermen is promising the addition of a ‘young, edgy, 75-year-old correspondent’.)
• Sunset Strip Music Festival (LA CA) – Saturday Jane’s Addiction plays their entire album “Nothing’s Shocking” to celebrate its 25th anniversary. Australian duo Empire Of the Sun top-lines Sunday. Other performers: The Birds of Satan, Cold War Kids, and the Kaiser Chiefs.

• Avril Lavigne – She & Nickelback rocker-husband Chad Kroeger are reportedly ‘headed for a split’ after 14 months of marriage. A  source said tells the September 29th edition of “Us Weekly” that ‘He has been going around LA telling people that they’re divorcing.’
• Beyoncé & Jay Z – They’re reportedly close to buying an $85-million Beverly Hills CA estate, a cliffside property that they’ve now toured twice. The massive 23,000 sq ft house features 8-bedrooms, 15-baths, a large infinity pool, and a 16-car garage.
• Chvrches – The synth-pop trio is adding another round of dates in support of their debut album “The Bones of What You Believe”. The new sked begins tonight in Los Angeles and runs up to October 12th in Mexico City.
• Mary Chapin Carpenter – Sunday in New Albany OH she embarks on an orchestra and acoustic tour with special guest opener Tift Merritt. Carpenter released her debut orchestral album, “Songs From the Movie”, in January.
• Wilco – Tonight in Athens GA Jeff Tweedy kicks off a tour in support of his side project Tweedy (with his son Spencer on drums). Meantime, Wilco is celebrating their 20th anniversary as a band this year, with a new rarities box-set on the way this Fall.
• The Weeknd – Tonight in Brooklyn NY he kicks off a handful of live dates dubbed the “King of the Fall” tour, which includes a gig Sunday in Toronto ON, and runs through October 10th in San Francisco CA. It features Jhene Aiko and ScHoolboy Q as opening acts.

• “The Guest” ( R-Rated Thriller ): After a soldier introduces himself to a family, claiming to be a friend of their son who died in action, a series of accidental deaths seem to be connected to his presence. This stalker thriller stars former “Downton Abbey” actor Dan Stevens (‘Matthew Crawley’), Sheila Kelley, Maika Monroe, Joel David Moore.
• “The Maze Runner” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): In yet another Young Adult Fiction adaptation, a youth is deposited in a community of boys after his memory is erased. He soon learns that they’re all trapped in a maze that will require him to join forces with fellow ‘runners’ for a shot at escape. Stars Dylan O’Brien, Kaya Scodelario, Will Poulter, Thomas Brodie-Sangster.
• “This is Where I Leave You” ( R-Rated Comedy ): When their father passes away, 4 grown siblings return to their childhood home and live under the same roof together for a week, along with their over-sharing mother and an assortment of spouses, exes, and might-have-beens. Stars Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, Jane Fonda, Adam Driver.
• “Tusk” ( R-Rated Horror ): Director Kevin Smith’s first of a proposed trilogy of Canadian-based films premiered at the recent Toronto International Film Festival. The story follows a hunt for a missing podcaster in the backwoods of Manitoba by his best friend, his girlfriend, and an ex-cop. Stars Justin Long, Michael Parks, Haley Joel Osment, Genesis Rodriguez.
• “A Walk Among the Tombstones” ( R-Rated Crime Thriller ): Liam Neeson stars as a private investigator hired by a drug kingpin to find out who kidnapped and murdered his wife. This revenge drama co-stars former “Downton Abbey” actor Dan Stevens (again!), David Harbour, and Astro (“The X Factor” 2011). Based on the Lawrence Block novel of the same name.
• Opening in limited release: “Hector & The Search for Happiness” (Dramedy); “Keep on Keepin’ On (Documentary); “Pump” (Documentary); “Stop the Pounding Heart” (Drama); “Tracks” (Adventure); “20,000 Days on Earth” (Music Documentary); and “The Zero Theorem” (Sci-fi Fantasy).

Being religious doesn’t make you better behaved … but it will make you feel more guilty. University of Illinois psychologists have found ‘no significant difference’ in the number or quality of moral and immoral deeds performed by religious and non-religious study participants. In fact, the only difference seems to be that religious people have more pride and gratitude about their moral deeds; and more guilt, embarrassment, and disgust about their immoral deeds. The conclusions are based on a survey of more than 1,200 American and Canadian adults aged 18-to-68. Bottom line: Religious and nonreligious people have more in common than generally thought when it comes to moral experiences in everyday life. (Surprised?)

If you have cash to spare and are bored with free sites such as Facebook and Twitter, there’s a new social network designed specifically for you. ‘Netropolitan’ costs $9,000 to join, and $3,000-a-year in annual fees. Members must be over 21 and must register using their real names. Once you become a member, you have access to status updates and chat rooms with all other members. Perks include unlimited cloud storage and no advertising, but the rest of the features are similar to free social networks. Netropolitan, touted as ‘The World’s Most Exclusive Online Community’, doesn’t have any features for non-members, and promises to never release member names or other details. It’s the brainwave of Manhattan-based composer James Touchi-Peters. (Who knows that the filthy rich will pay for anything if it sounds exclusive.)

A group of kittens is called a ‘kindle’.
– “Quite Interesting”


1948 [66] Jeremy Irons, Cowes UK, movie actor (“Reversal of Fortune”, “The Lion King”)/TV actor (“The Borgias”)  UP NEXT: Plays ‘Alfred’ in “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” (2016).

1951 [63] Daniel Lanois, Gatineau QC, singer-songwriter-music producer (U2, The Killers, Neil Young)/Canadian Music Hall of Fame (2002)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2005)

1964 [50] Trisha Yearwood, Monticello GA, TV personality (“Trisha’s Southern Kitchen”)/country singer (“Perfect Love”)/Mrs Garth Brooks since 2005 (now on tour with her hubby)

1974 [40] Jimmy Fallon, Brooklyn NY, TV personality (“Tonight Show” host 2014, “Late Night” host 2009-14, “Saturday Night Live” 1998-2006)/movie actor (“Almost Famous”)

1976 [38] Alison Sweeney, LA CA, TV host (“The Biggest Loser” since 2007)

1980 [34] Tegan & Sara Quin, Calgary AB, twin sister indie-rock singer-songwriters (Tegan & Sara-“Closer”, “Hell”)

Rock musician Ben Shepherd (Soundgarden) is 46; Producer-singer-songwriter The-Dream (“Single Ladies”) is 37; Rock musician Rick Woolstenhulme (Lifehouse) is 35.

Singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen (“Hallelujah”) is 80; Author Stephen King (“The Shining”) is 67; Movie actor Bill Murray (“Groundhog Day”) is 64; Screenwriter-producer Ethan Coen (“No Country For Old Men”) is 57; Country singer Faith Hill (“This Kiss”) is 47; Rock singer Liam Gallagher (ex-Oasis) is 42; Rapper Wale (“Bad”) is 30; R&B singer Jason Derulo (“Wiggle”) is 25.

• “International Shellfish Festival” through Sunday in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, known as the ‘Biggest Kitchen Party in Atlantic Canada’.
• “POW/MIA Recognition Day”, a day of remembrance and hope for the safe return of Prisoners of War and those Missing in Action, observed annually on the 3rd Friday of September.
• “Talk Like a Pirate Day”. So here goes … Har’ Billy, hoist that bilge! Avast ya scurvy scum, stow away your jib! Ahoy matey, grab thee a wench! Swab the deck, ya lily-livered landlubbers!

• “Make Your Own Junk Food at Home Day”. What’s your specialty? World’s best burger? Homemade fries? Microwaved wieners? How to make some fast-food faves here …
• “Oktoberfest”, through October 5th in Munich, Germany, the 181st edition with rides, exhibits and – of course – festhallen full of barrels of beer! This year, some festival tents are charging 10€ or more for a ‘mass’ (liter of beer).
• “Responsible Dog Ownership Day”, encouraging owners to exercise their pooches, feed them healthy foods, and train them in social skills so they don’t annoy other people. See Bull’s Bits.
• “Worldwide Day of Play”, the 11th annual event designed to encourage children & parents to turn off the TV and play … especially outdoors.

• “Miniature Golf Day”. The first mini-golf was the ‘Tom Thumb Golf Course’ built in 1929 in Chattanooga TN by John Garnet Carter. Nowadays there’s a ‘Professional Miniature Golf Association’ that holds the ‘PMGA Championship’ each year.
• “Second Breakfast”, an invitation to celebrate Hobbit-style the anniversary of the publication of JRR Tolkien’s “The Hobbit” (1937). Wherever you are at 11 am, you’re encouraged to partake of Hobbit-cherished ideals: camaraderie, companionship and, of course, a love of good food.
• “Woman Road Warrior Day”, an annual observance celebrating traveling businesswomen on the 3rd Sunday in September.
• “Women’s Friendship Day 2014”, celebrated on the 3rd Sunday of September since 1999 by the Kappa Delta Sorority, who remind us: “Men come and go, but girlfriends are forever!”
• “Wife Appreciation Day”. Don’t hesitate. Don’t question why. Just buy flowers. Do it!
• “World Alzheimer’s Day”, an annual observance when related organizations try to raise awareness about Alzheimer’s disease and dementia.

2004 [10] With their latest hit “You’ll Come Around”, Status Quo becomes the artist with most all-time hits in the UK, 61 charted singles dating from 1968’s “Pictures of Matchstick Men” (their only North American hit)

1982 [32] Carnegie Mellon University professor Scott Fahlman produces 1st ‘smiley face’ to punctuate humorous computer messages by employing a colon followed by a hyphen and a parenthesis [:-)]

2011 [03] Relief pitcher Mariano Rivera of the New York Yankees surpasses Trevor Hoffman to become Major League Baseball’s all-time saves leader with 602

[Mon] Autumn begins (10:29 pm EDT) in Northern Hemisphere
[Mon] “The Voice” season debut (NBC)
[Mon] “The Big Bang Theory”; “Scorpion” season debuts (CBS)
[Mon] Polaris Music Prize Gala (Toronto ON)
[Mon] Car-Free Day
This Week Is … Child Passenger Safety Week
This Month Is … Coupon Month


• “I’m not barking, I’m singing the song of my people.”
• “I know I’m not supposed to eat the food on the table, but I also know you cannot resist this coot widdle face. So pass the chops, please.”
• “I heard you when you yelled ‘come’, I’m just on a really, really important adventure.”
• “You have not tricked me by spelling out ‘W-A-L-K’, you have only taught me how to spell.”
• “I might tear some things up while you’re gone, but it’s only because I really miss you.”
• “You say you don’t want me to lick your face. But you do. I know you do. So I’m gonna keep doing it.”
• “Of course I understand how to play fetch, I just think you chasing me is waaaay more fun.”
• “I know you got that little bed just for me, but I also know that nothing in the world is better than puppy snuggles. So I’m staying right here, next to you.”
• “Sometimes I pee places I’m not supposed to, but when ya gotta go, ya gotta go! Ya know?!”
• “I eat crayons to make picking up my poop more enjoyable for you.”
• “When I chew your shoes I’m simply saving you from making a huge fashion mistake.”
• “I know I’ve peed in the house and barked while you’re trying to sleep, but you’ll always be my human and I love you more than anything … even more than bacon.”
– Adapted from

☎ What movie title best describes your boss?

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

Question: Today there are 2 billion of THESE; by 2020, there will be 6 billion.
Answer: Smartphones.

VISA is everywhere you want to be … except out of debt.

Printer Friendly Version