Wednesday, September 2, 2015        Edition: #5529

Here’s Sheet in Your Eye!

★ Thousands of movies are to be removed from Netflix after the streaming service decided not to renew a deal with distributor Epix. Removed titles will include “The Hunger Games” and “Transformers” films. Netflix’s deal with Epix, which is worth a reported $1 billion, runs until the end of September, at which point the films will disappear from the service. Most are widely available on cable and other subscription platforms and Netflix has decided to focus on exclusive content.
★ NBC-TV has pulled the plug on a revival of the sitcom “Coach”. The project was described as a sequel to the original, which ran on ABC-TV 1989-97. It was apparently an idea spun by original star Craig T Nelson. It would have brought him back as his character ‘Hayden Fox’, but this time around as a mentor to a younger coach. NBC-TV ordered up 13 episodes of the planned new comedy back in March, but has apparently done a 180 on that decision. No reason has been given.
★ Barack Obama is set to appear on a special edition of NBC-TV adventure series “Running Wild With Bear Grylls” later this year. The filming coincides with the US president’s 3-day visit to Alaska next week to observe the effects of climate change on the area. In a recorded piece for the show, the prez and host Bear Grylls will venture off into the Alaskan wilderness. The appearance is yet another unconventional media move for Obama, who’s been choosing fewer mainstream outlets for interviews over the past year.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ And “SpongeBob Squarepants”, the pop culture phenom based on the Nickelodeon TV show which has already spawned a feature film, will make its world premiere stage debut in Chicago IL next June. It will run as a limited engagement at the Oriental Theatre before moving on to a planned Broadway opening in the 2016-17 season. Touted as a ‘one of a kind musical event’, the musical features original songs by well-known artists, including Cyndi Lauper, Flaming Lips, John Legend, Lady Antebellum, Panic! At the Disco, Plain White T’s, and They Might Be Giants. Casting for “The SpongeBob Musical” will be announced at a later date.

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – 5 performers move on to the finals; the Illusionists perform.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Shawn Mendes (“Handwritten”). Rerun.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Madonna (“Rebel Heart”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Chris Young (“I’m Comin’ Over”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Indie pop singer Genevieve (“Show Your Colors”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Life of Dillon (“Prologue”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Chris Stapleton (“Traveller”). Rerun.
• “Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – Kellie Pickler (“The Woman I Am”). Rerun.
• “Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles” (Bravo) – Real estate agents try to deal with clients whose tensions are running high in the Season 8 premiere.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – D’Angelo (“Black Messiah”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Justin Bieber (as-yet-untitled new album arrives November 13th).

• alt-J – Tonight select movie theaters are screening an exclusive performance during which the group played for a crowd of 600 invited guests at LA’s Hollywood American Legion. Interview footage is also included in the presentation.
• Justin Timberlake – His “20/20 Experience World Tour” is also coming to movie theaters. Director Jonathan Demme filmed the final date of the tour in Las Vegas NV and is about to start editing the footage into a feature film.
• Kenny Chesney – He’s donated another $100,000 to his Spread the Love fund at the Boston Medical Center to help pay for prosthetics for those who lost limbs in the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing. To date, Chesney’s fund has given away $400,000 to victims of the attack.
• Kesha – She’s been announced as an upcoming guest star on CW-TV’s “Jane the Virgin”, playing – what else? – the rocker who lives next door. Britney Spears was previously announced as a guest during the upcoming season.
• Little Big Town – Due to Jimi Westbrook’s vocal cord surgery and subsequent convalescence, this has been the first Summer in 16 years that they have not be on the road touring.
• R Kelly – He says he wrote 462 songs for his 13th studio album, “The Buffet” (out September 25) … and they’re all hits. Fortunately, he cut the content down to double digits, including one track that’s country.

“A Walk In the Woods” ( R-Rated Comedy Adventure ); After spending 2 decades in England, an American author returns to the US where he decides the best way to connect with his homeland is to hike the Appalachian Trail with an old friend. Stars Robert Redford, Nick Nolte, Emma Thompson, Mary Steenburgen. Based on the best-selling book by Bill Bryson.

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 66% of parents have a photo of their kids in the bathtub.
• 40% of single guys say they would NOT date a woman with 2 or more cats.
• 32% of us worry about sleeping through our alarm … every day.
• 30% of us have a problem with different foods touching each other on our dinner plate.
• 25% of men say they would not date a woman if she had a twin.
• 10% of women will be unable to wear an outfit today because they didn’t shave their legs.

Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘The Bacon of [something]’ – The most excellent or most satisfying example of any particular category of things. (“Darling, I think of you as the bacon of women.”)
• ‘Desire Path’ – A worn area of grass where people often walk because it’s a convenient shortcut. Sometimes these paths eventually become sidewalks due to their popularity.
• ‘Sadscape’ – A depressing or pathetic situation or landscape. (“It turns out Ashley Madison was a sadscape for wannabe cheating men as hardly any women were participating.”)

Scottish scientists believe they have found the secret to making an ice cream that does not melt so quickly on hot Summer days. A joint team of researchers from the universities of Dundee and Edinburgh have found a naturally occurring protein that makes the ice cream mixture more stable, causing it to melt more slowly and to be smoother in texture. The researchers admit the ice cream will melt eventually, but hopefully the new ingredient helps it maintain its structure longer, meaning those enjoying an ice cream cone should experience fewer drips. (But that’s all the fun, no? Especially for your 2-year-old.)
– BBC Scotland

✓ You have no problem with licking your food so that your siblings won’t steal it.
✓ You’ve been excited to get a hand-me-down that’s secondhand instead of 3rd, 4th … or 10th.
✓ Someone in the family is always having a birthday. You should own Hallmark by now.
✓ You have never seen anything less than a 24-roll jumbo package of bathroom tissue.
✓ Getting a family photo where everyone looks good is never going to happen.
✓ Your dad goes through at least 4 names before he gets yours right.
✓ You never had your own bedroom.
✓ The youngest child will always be known as the baby even when they are 25 … or 55.
✓ Whenever your family went out, people passing by assumed it was a school trip.
✓ Home haircuts by mom. The less said about this, the better.
– Adapted from “Metro”

Dutch designers are making leather bags out of  … discarded fruit. ‘Fruitleather’, the brainwave of a design group studying at the Willem de Kooning Academie in Rotterdam, was originally developed to help reduce food waste generated by the city’s farm markets. Stats show the local markets throw away 3,500 kg (7,700 lbs) of fruit & vegetable waste daily due to the produce being rotten, damaged, or imperfect. The fruit is mashed, cooked, and dried in large slabs, which can then be cut and shaped into bags. (A real plus … you can nibble on your bag if you get peckish on-the-go.)

Season 5 of “Game of Thrones” is one for the record books … literally. The wildly popular HBO show will be featured in the 2016 edition of “Guinness World Records” for airing the ‘Largest Simultaneous Broadcast of a Television Drama’ when the most recent season’s 2nd episode was simulcast to 173 countries and territories around-the-world, beginning at 2 am on April 20th. The new edition of the record book has a release date of September 10.
– “Entertainment Weekly”

• Swiss designers are working on a milk carton that changes color as its contents near expiration.
– “Mental Floss”
• US astronauts drink recycled urine on the International Space Station but Russian astronauts do not.
– “The Guardian”


1948 [67] Terry Bradshaw, Shreveport LA, sports analyst (“FOX NFL Sunday” since 1994)/Hall of Fame NFL QB (4 Super Bowls-Pittsburgh Steelers 1970-83)/Pro Football Hall of Fame (1989)

1951 [64] Mark Harmon, Burbank CA, TV actor (‘Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs’ on “NCIS” since 2003)/movie actor (“Freaky Friday”)

1959 [56] Guy Laliberté, Québec City QC, founder & CEO of Cirque du Soleil (“Love”, “Viva Elvis”)/space tourist to International Space Station (2009)/estimated net worth $2.6 billion

1964 [51] Keanu Reeves, Beirut, Lebanon [raised Toronto ON], movie actor (“The Lake House”, “The Matrix” trilogy)

1966 [49] Salma Hayek, Coatzacoalcos, Mexico, movie actress (“Grown Ups”, “Frida”)

1987 [28] Spencer Smith, Summerlin NV, rock drummer (Panic At the Disco-“Nine In the Afternoon”, “I Write Sins Not Tragedies”)

1989 [26] Zedd (Anton Zaslavski), Saratov, Russia, EDM DJ/producer (“Clarity” f/Foxes, “Break Free”)

• “Blueberry Popsicle Day”, a celebration of the flavor that leaves your lips and tongue looking like some kind of purple-fleshed alien.

• “National Beheading Day”. Not sure what you’re supposed to do to celebrate … but don’t lose your head over it!

• “Pierce Your Ears Day”. At what age is it acceptable for a little twerp to have hers (his) done?

2003 [12] TV finalé of “Buffy, the Vampire Slayer”, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar

1995 [20] Grand opening of Cleveland’s “Rock & Roll Hall of Fame” is celebrated with a 7-hour concert featuring Bruce Springsteen, Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis, Little Richard, Martha & the Vandellas, John Mellencamp, and oodles more

2005 [10] Kanye West sparks controversy during NBC-TV’s star-studded “Concert for Hurricane Relief” with his criticism of president George W Bush and the media’s portrayal of black and white victims of Hurricane Katrina

2013 [02] At age 64, American Diana Nyad completes a record swim from Cuba to Florida, becoming the 1st to finish the 110-mile marathon without use of a shark cage for protection

[Thurs] Skyscraper Day
[Fri] Wildlife Day
[Sat] X-Fest begins (Calgary AB)
[Sat] Sonic Boom Festival opens (Edmonton AB)
[Sat] Made In America Festival begins (Philadelphia PA)
[Sat] Bumbershoot Festival opens (Seattle WA)
[Mon] Labor Day (Canada, USA)
This Week Is … International Enthusiasm Week
This Month Is … Be Kind to Editors & Writers Month


• “Me want to eat cookie, but me take photo of cookie first.”
• “Me get angry when peanut butter cookies not use sustainable Valencia-grade peanuts.”
• “Me traveled to Malmö, Sweden last Winter for ultimate shortbread cookie experience.”
• “Me know this Haute Couture macaron cost more than most Southeast Asians earn in day, but me can’t help myself.”
• “Me no understand gluten-free. Me think these people have lost their joie de vivre. Me sad for them.”
• “Me spend half my paycheck on cookies.”
• “Me like micro cookie but wish it were bigger.”
• “Me found handcrafted Iced Pumpkin Macadamia cookie at farmers market and me went completely insane.”
• “Me keep a reserve of Oreo Chocolate Mint Cremes in cupboard, but me embarrassed to admit it.”
• “Sometimes me think that cookies too important in my life. Then me think, ‘Mmm… Cookie!'”
– Adapted from

☎ As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? How’d that work out for ya?

• When Spanish monks adapted the Aztec chocolate drink recipe for local tastes, they added several ingredients (cinnamon, nutmeg, sugar) and subtracted a few, including which of the following?
a. Chicken blood.
b. Chili pepper. [CORRECT. Chocolate was a luxury drink among the Aztecs. In addition to the pepper, the recipe called for flowers, vanilla, and wild honey.]
c. Llama butter.

• What is ‘Daltonism’?
a. The inability to distinguish right from wrong.
b. The inability to distinguish sweet from sour.
c. The inability to distinguish red from green. [CORRECT. Named after English physicist John Dalton (1766-1844), the first scientist to investigate color blindness.]

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life … unless I buy something.

Question: A new list of “Top 10 Things You Should NOT Own After Age 30” is topped by THIS.
Answer: Unframed posters.

An unemployed court jester is no one’s fool.

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