Wednesday, September 20, 2017    Edition: #6059

Another Sheetload of Bull!

★ Chris Pratt says that Anna Faris ”looked great” at the Emmys.  Pratt praised his estranged wife – from whom he announced his split August – for her appearance at the awards show, and said that she did an ”amazing job” presenting one of the awards.  Faris and Pratt are thought to be in couples therapy’ to help them best co-parent their five-year-old son Jack.
★ Sequel alert!  Bill Skarsgard has revealed that a ”disturbing” origin story to Pennywise was cut from ‘IT’.  Skarsgard says that there was a flashback scene from the 1600s “before Pennywise was Pennywise”.  According to him, “The scene turned out really, really disturbing. And I’m not the clown. I look more like myself. It’s very disturbing, and sort of a backstory for…where Pennywise came from”.  Skarsgard says that scene might be something worth exploring in the second one.
(Sequel name….‘ It2′? ‘It Also’?  ‘Its’?  ‘Another Penny’?  ‘Stephen King Scares the Hell Out of Us Again’?)
★  It looks like Netflix doesn’t think Chelsea Handler is that funny anymore! The comedian, who recently had a huge falling out with her now former BFF Jennifer Aniston, is apparently now in danger of having her show, ‘Chelsea’, cancelled. The story is that many celebs are choosing ‘Team Jen’, and declining offers to appear on Handler’s talk show.  This comes as bad news for the streaming giant considering Handler signed a $10 million seven-year deal with Netflix.
★ Grey’s Anatomy star Kate Walsh has revealed she had a brain tumor removed two years ago after experiencing cognitive difficulties. She says that “You’d think that after playing Dr. Addison for the better part of a decade, where I spent more time on a hospital set than at my house, that I would feel somehow more comfortable, but I was such a little scaredy-cat”.  The 52-year-old took 9 months off to recover.
★ Director James Cameron and his wife Suzy Amis Cameron have announced they are investing in an organic pea-processing plant in Saskatchewan. He says that, once operational, the plant will become the largest organic pea protein facility in North America.
(The whole country is going ga-ga over the fact that pot will be legal next year, and he’s investing in….a ‘pea’ grow-op?)

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Kyra Sedgwick, Adam Scott, 21 Savage
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Ben Stiller, Fred Armisen, Little Big Town, Kacey Musgraves, Midland
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jeff Bridges, Pamela Adlon, Miguel
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Anderson Cooper, Bobby Moynihan, Billie Jean King
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Sarah Paulson, Seth MacFarlane, Billie Eilish
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Luke Wilson, Jeff Bauman, Atlas Genius
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Kumail Nanjiani, Jim Gaffigan
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Terrence Howard, David Muir, Elizabeth Vargas
• “The Talk” (CBS): Sean Valentine, guest co-host Garcelle Beauvais
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Ben Stiller
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Megyn Kelly, Russell Westbrook, Logic & Alessia Cara
• “Big Brother: (CBS): House guests vie for the power of veto.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): “Live Results Finale” Tyra Banks reveals the $1 million winner.
• “The Good Place” (NBC): Special one-hour season premiere. Ted Danson, Kristen Bell.

•  Prince – was a perfectionist and it’s evident in the handwritten edits he made to the ‘Purple Rain’ script and to song lyrics which have hit the auction block.  200 Prince-related items are up for bidding via RR Auction, including the 9 pages of notes Prince made on his epic 1984 opus which is expected to go for more than $12,000.  Some other Prince items include:
— Yellow boots he wore onstage from ’86-’92 … $12k
— “The Ladder” handwritten lyrics … $8k
— Lace crop top …. $3k
— His Parade Tour tambourine … $1.5k
— “Camille” Advance Pressing … $4k
— Prince’s 1980 Rick James tour all access pass … $800
Bidding ends Sept. 27.
• Maroon 5 – singer Adam Levine is expanding his family with wife Behati Prinsloo. The couple are expecting again a year after having their first daughter, Dusty Rose.
• Drake – has revealed that he is a big Beyonce fan.  He Instagrammed a picture which showed a giant poster of the pop icon hanging in his studio.
• Lady Gaga – has postponed the European leg of her ‘Joanne’ world tour.  Instead of kicking off on September 21, the six-week stint will happen in early 2018.  Gaga, who revealed last week that she suffers from chronic pain, is using the time off to recover.
• Mariah Carey – is reportedly plotting a return to reality television, after signing a deal with VH1 to shoot a docuseries chronicling her 2018 world tour.
• Fergie – her 4-year-old son Axl makes a guest appearance on her new album, ‘Double Duchess’.  To record him , she reports that she followed Axl around with a tape recorder, trying to get him to sing.
• The Killers – have released a Brian Eno-inspired song as the fourth release from their upcoming album.  ‘Some Kind of Love’ is based on a 1983 Eno melody.  The album ‘Wonderful Wonderful’ drops September 22.
• Linkin Park –  has announced their first concert since singer Chester Bennington died in July. They’ll perform a one-off “celebration” to honor Bennington on Oct. 27 at the Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles. The performance will feature “a number of other artists.”
• Jason Aldean – he and his wife Brittany are expecting a baby boy. And a 3D sonogram revealed that they might be getting a kid with some attitude.  In what could be mistaken for a smoky bar room, the infant seems to have his middle finger outstretched in the sonogram.  Proud dad posted, “This is how you know ur kid is gonna be a bada–!!! #johnnycashspirit #liloutlaw.”
• Johnny Cash –  There’s a new member of the Cash and Carter clans: John Carter Cash and his wife, Ana Cristina Cash, have welcomed their first child together, a girl.  Grace June Cash, was born on Sept. 11.  Her middle name is that of her grandmother, June Carter Cash; John Carter Cash is Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash’s only child.

With Apple’s unveiling of the iPhone X last week, and everyone getting all excited about all of this “future of the smartphone” and ‘OLED’ and ‘edge-to-edge display’ business, it seems that there might be one thing that they didn’t think of.  And that is an unplanned complication of the revolutionary facial recognition software.  Namely: What if you are a twin?  People who purchase the $1,000 smartphone will unlock it by simply by looking at it, thanks to sensors designed to create a highly accurate facial map.  Facial recognition expert Herman Yau, the CEO of Tend, a San Francisco firm specializing in security cameras, says that since most facial recognition is built on visual pattern recognition, it wouldn’t be able to reliably differentiate between identical twins.  Or in his words, “Basically, if parents have trouble telling their twins apart, so will facial recognition algorithms.”
(So if Mary-Kate wants to get into Ashley’s phone…)
(That’s just like my twin…always sticking his face into MY business…)
(I know one thing….I just thought of a GREAT movie plot!)
(Most twins will have to share one phone anyway…)

The Coca-Cola company is running a new contest that is aimed at scientists, rather than those looking for something to wash down their lunch (or their rum) with.  The “Sweetener Challenge” is a search for a “natural, safe, reduced, low or no-calorie compound that creates the taste sensation of sugar when used in beverages and foods”.  The prize?  A paltry $1million.  There is also a contest for those of us who aren’t so scientifically inclined.  The “Sweet Story Challenge” offers a $100,000 prize for the best anecdote about how your community, culture, or family has naturally sweetened food and drinks.  Which might also help them find the ‘silver bullet’ that they are looking for.
(So is that an admission that aspertame is NOT safe?)
(If they find one, I guess they can still call it “Coke Zero Sugar”.)

☞ Have a firm handshake.
☞ Look people in the eye.
☞ Sing in the shower.
☞ Own a great stereo system.
☞ If in a fight, hit first and hard.
☞ Keep secrets.
☞ Never give up on anybody.  Miracles happen every day.
☞ Always accept an outstretched hand.
☞ Be brave.  Even when you’re not, pretend to be.  No one can tell the difference.
☞ Whistle
-Pat Divilly


1934 [83] Sophia Loren (Scicolone), Rome, Italy, movie star (1962 Academy Award-‘Two Women’, 1991 Honorary Career Achievement Oscar)

1948 [69] George RR Martin, Bayonne NJ, novelist (writer and producer on the HBO show based on his books, ‘Game of Thrones’, and he has earned two Primetime Emmy nominations for his work on it).

1968 [49] Ben Shepherd, Okinawa, Japan, rock bass player-vocalist (Soundgarden-‘Spoonman’, ‘Black Hole Sun’)

1979 [38] Rick Woolstenhulme, Gilbert AZ, rock drummer (Lifehouse-‘You & Me’, ‘Hanging By a Moment’)

1990 [27] Phillip Phillips, Albany GA, pop singer (‘Home’, ‘Gone, Gone, Gone’, Season 11 winner on ‘American Idol’)

• “Gibberish Day”, highlighting the uselessness of the convoluted terminology and gobbledy-gook spouted by those who are masking their lack of knowledge and expertise or who are just too spineless to make a clear statement. Try this ‘Gibberish Generator’ …

• “Punch Day”, the word ‘punch’ is said to come from the Hindustani word ‘panch’, which means ‘five’.  In the early 1600s, sailors and employees of the British East India Company brought a new exotic drink from India to England. The beverage was made with five ingredients—spirits, lemon, sugar, water, and tea.

• “Cheese String Day”, perhaps the most enjoyable part of String Cheese is deciding how to eat it. Most people go for the classic “peel down and chow down” method—separating each stick into thin strands. (Or just chomp off a chunk, as if it were regular cheese…)

• “School Backpack Awareness Day”, to highlight the pain and injury to students that can come from lugging heavy backpacks and bags (And as they will someday tell their children, “6 miles to school, uphill both ways…”)

[Thurs] Miniature Golf Day
[Thurs] International Day of Peace
[Fri] Love Note Day
[Fri] Ice Cream Cone Day

1946 [71] ‘Cannes Film Festival’ debuts on the French Riviera (world’s top-ranked)
Proper pronunciation: a hybrid of ‘ken’ and ‘can’:

2006 [11] A memorial for late ‘Crocodile Hunter’ Steve Irwin is held at the Australia Zoo in Brisbane (3,000 tickets are snapped up in 15 minutes)

1975 [42] David Bowie’s ‘Fame’ hits #1 for the first of 2 weeks

2004 [13] In an interview with ‘The Sun’ tabloid, Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones claims to have finally given up illegal drugs, in part because “the quality’s gone down” (In a 2015 interview, however, he says he is still partial to beginning his day by smoking a joint)

1921 [96] 1st ‘Radio Newscast’ airs, on KDKA Pittsburgh PA

1933 [84] NFL’s Pittsburgh Steelers 1st game [as Pittsburgh Pirates], a 23-2 loss to the NY Giants (Steelers are now in their 85th season)

1998 [19] In a surgical 1st, doctors in Lyon, France sew a donor’s hand & arm on a man whose own arm had been amputated in an accident 14 years earlier (afterward, the patient applauds … because he can)

2011 [06] USA ends its ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy, allowing gay men & women to openly serve in the military openly for the 1st time

1998 [19] After playing in a Major League Baseball-record 2,632 consecutive games over 16 seasons, Cal Ripken Jr. of the Baltimore Orioles finally sits out a game vs NY Yankees


✓ The Hollywood sign originally said “Hollywoodland.”
✓ Elizabeth Taylor arrived late for her own funeral. The film star left instructions requesting that her coffin should arrive 15 minutes late.
✓ UK’s Royal Mail estimated in 2015 that it would cost £11,602 (US$15,656) to send a letter to Mars.
✓ The common cold is caused by over 200 different viruses.
✓ Two-thirds of the people on earth have never seen snow.
✓There are 13 minerals found in beer which are necessary for human life.

• If an older woman marries a younger man she’s ‘robbing the cradle’. So if a younger woman marries an older man is she ‘robbing the casket’?
• Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
• If your spouse doesn’t disagree with you, how can you tell if you’re right?
• How are you supposed to save money when your neighbors keep buying things you can’t afford?
• Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?

• Lerman’s Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money. Corollary: You are never given enough time or money.
• Murphy’s First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.
• Law of the Search: The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it. Corollary: It will not be in the last place you expect to find it.
• Kauffman’s Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.
• The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay. Corollary: You will encounter an unexpected major expense the same week the increase takes effect, further nullifying its effect.
• Miller’s Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens. Corollary: None.

My wife complains that she doesn’t have a thing to wear … and also that there isn’t enough closet space for her clothes.

☎ What outrageous thing have you seen at Walmart?

What’s the only word in English with 3 consecutive double letters? [Bookkeeper.]

Question: According to research, THIS is the #1 smell that puts men in a good mood. What is it?
Answer: Bacon Cooking.

Easy choices…hard life.  Hard choices…easy life.

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