Thursday, September 21, 2017       Edition: #6060

Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★  James Corden says he deeply regrets drunkenly kissing Sean Spicer on Emmys night. Corden was photographed giving the former U.S. Press Secretary a kiss on the cheek, earning the wrath of many of his fans.  In response, Corden went on his show and said “ I think people are forgetting that this man lied to the American people, and should not be embraced”…while showing a photo of him kissing Spicer.  He went on to say, “Anyone ever have that feeling when you get a little drunk and then wake up the next morning and think ‘Oh God, who did I kiss last night?’  It’s a bit like that”.  On a more serious note, Corden went on to say he does understand why people are disappointed with his actions. No comment from Spicer.
(I think I liked it better when I could at least hope it was ‘fake news’…)
-ContactMusic
★ Rosie O’Donnell won’t be involved in raising her granddaughter, according to her estranged daughter. Chelsea Alliegro has confirmed that O’Donnell is set to become a grandmother for the first time in the coming months, but following their high-profile falling out, Rosie will have nothing to do with the upbringing of her baby. Earlier this year, Chelsea accused Rosie of being verbally abusive towards her and of threatening to attack her with a wine bottle.
-ContactMusic
★ Did you know that Keith Morrison is Matthew Perry’s stepdad?  Morrison, whose deep voice guides you through those complicated ‘Dateline’ storylines, has been married to Perry’s mom, Suzanne, since 1981.  Morrison says that he did visit the ‘Friends’ set while it was in production, but declines to name his favourite non-Perry friend.  It seems, though, that the two have become friends as well as relatives. One gift Perry gave his stepdad? A Porsche 911.
(Morrison has appeared on ‘Seinfeld’ and on ‘Blossom’, but never on ‘Friends’.)
-MSN
★ James Cromwell has been charged with trespassing for interrupting and denouncing an orca show at SeaWorld in San Diego. The misdemeanor charge could mean 90 days in jail or a fine of up to $400. Cromwell, who was nominated for an Oscar for his role as the farmer in ‘Babe’, has previously said he would serve jail time rather than pay fines.
(That’ll do, orca.  That’ll do.”)
-MSN
★ Linda Hamilton will reprise her role as Sarah Connor in a new ‘Terminator’ movie alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger. Director James Cameron says that while there are 50 and 60-year-old guys “out there killing bad guys but there isn’t an example of that for women”.  Cameron says the upcoming instalment will be a direct sequel to the 1991 blockbuster ‘Terminator 2: Judgment Day’.   Cameron and Hamilton were married to each other for two years in the late 1990s.
-ContactMusic/HollywoodReporter
★ Billy Bush has split with his wife, Sydney Davis, after nearly 20 years of marriage.  Bush’s rep has confirmed the split, saying, “It is not true that Billy’s wife has left him. After almost 20 years of marriage, they have separated for the moment to evaluate their life together. They love each other and their children deeply and are committed to a bright future.”  The couple has three children. The split comes nearly one year after the infamously leaked video with now-President Donald Trump that cost Bush his multimillion-dollar ‘Today’ show anchoring gig.
-PageSix

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Halle Berry, Sen. Al Franken
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Megyn Kelly, Dave Franco, Fergie
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jim Parsons, Tatiana Maslany, the Killers
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Emma Stone, Kaitlin Olson, Blondie
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Judi Dench, Kyle MacLachlan, Kasabian
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Jake Gyllenhaal, Max Brooks
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Ryan Seacrest, Kelly Ripa
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Joe Scarborough, Mika Brzezinski
• “The Talk” (CBS): Minnie Driver, the winner of “Big Brother”, guest co-host Aisha Tyler
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Emma Stone, Joanne Froggatt
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Judi Dench, Imagine Dragons
• “American Ninja Warrior” (NBC): “Las Vegas Finals Night 2” National finals continue in Las Vegas, where top competitors tackle a four-stage course.
• “Gotham” (FOX): Season 4 premiere. “A Dark Knight: Pax Penguina”

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift – is being sued by two songwriters who claim they wrote a hit song with similar lyrics to Swift’s massive hit ‘Shake it Off’ 16 years ago.  Sean Hall and Nathan Butler say they wrote the song “Playas Gon’ Play” in 2001, and it hit #81 on the Billboard Hot 100.  It was recorded by the girl group, 3LW.  Among the lyrics: “Playas, they gonna play and haters, they gonna hate.”
• George Michael – the trailer for the new documentary ‘George Michael: Freedom’ is out.  Elton John, Stevie Wonder, Ricky Gervais, James Corden, Mary J. Blige, and Naomi Campbell all make appearances. It airs on Showtime on Saturday, Oct. 21.
• Avril Lavigne – has been named by Cybersecurity firm McAfee as the most likely celebrity to land users on websites that carry viruses or malware. Searches for Lavigne have a 14.5 per cent chance of landing on a web page with the potential for online threats.
• Mariah Carey – has allegedly skipped out on nearly $70k in payments to a singing group.  According to documents, she hired Broadway Inspirational Voices in 2016 to perform 9 Christmas shows with her in NYC.   They claim that shortly thereafter Mariah decided to go in “another direction with regard to the choir” and ditched them without paying.
• Mel B – has lost the battle to have her court case with Stephen Belafonte kept out of the public domain.  She claimed Stephen would share explicit sex tapes with the court, but the judge insisted that ”salacious details” like sex tapes were not a strong enough reason to keep it out of the public.
• Lady Gaga – says she has ”chased the pain” of her fibromyalgia condition for five years and praises her fans for keeping her going. In the trailer for her upcoming Netflix documentary, ‘Gaga: Five Foot Two’, she says: ”I have chased this pain for four or five years. But when I feel the adrenaline in my music and my fans, I can…go.”
• Logic – his song with Alessia Cara and Khalid, ‘1-800-273-8255′ is the highest-charting ‘phone number’ song ever, at #3.  Previous champ?  Tommy Tutone’s ‘867-5309/Jenny’ which hit #4 in 1982.
• Led Zeppelin – Their label, Warner, is planning a “number of high-profile events” to celebrate the group’s 50th anniversary in 2018.  One may be a statue of late drummer John Bonham in his hometown of Redditch, England.  No definite word on any other events.  (Cue the reunion rumors.  Again.)
• Evanescence – have announced their new album, ‘Synthesis’ will come out November 10.  It features reinterpreted versions of some of their biggest songs, with new orchestral and electronic elements.  It also includes two new songs, ‘Imperfection’ and ‘Hi-Lo’.
• Thomas Rhett – his ‘Life Changes’ album is the first by a country artist to top the Billboard 200 album chart this year.  The last one to do it?  Jason Aldean’s ‘They Don’t Know’ in 2016.
• Jason Aldean – has written a book.  In ‘Family, Friends & Fans’, “Jason looks back at the things that brought him where he is today, and that continue to shape his future. With wisdom, warmth and humor, Jason shares recollections he derived from people with whom he has bonded during his life and career.”  The book is available now for $20.

YOU SNOOZE, YOU WIN:
We’ve all got ‘em.  The Facebook friend who has a new baby, or is caught up in an irrational belief that their political candidate is perfect.  Or worst of all, the future bride!  That, of course, is fine if the person is someone close to you and you are semi-interested in the progress of this exciting development in their life.  But what if this is just a ‘kinda-sorta’ friend or a business acquaintance?  You don’t want to block them, because they may come back down to earth some day, and you’d like to stay in touch with them.  Just not RIGHT NOW.  That is exactly why Facebook is testing a “snooze” button that allows you to temporarily unfollow individuals, pages, and groups for periods of 24 hours, a week, or 30 days.  That’s right, it blocks the ‘oversharer’ for a while, hopefully until right around the time they slow down on the whole ‘daily baby picture #117 thing.  Right now, the ‘snooze’ feature is only available to a limited few Facebook users.  If they go ahead and make it available to all of us, you will find it right alongside the ‘unfollow’ button.  You know where that is!
(Of course, with new parents, you might need the ‘18 years’ snooze option!)
(Have you ever noticed that whenever there is a story about irritating social media friends, the bad guy is always ‘someone else’?  It’s never “When your friends get sick and tired of all that crap you are posting about YOUR home-based business…?”)
-BroBible

IT’S A CAT THING:
If you have a cat, you’ve seen it.  Everything is normal, maybe a quiet night at home…and suddenly Fluffy is seemingly staring at a random point in the distance.  Almost as if she can see…or sense something is there.  And you have no idea what she is looking at.  Some people think that cats are able to sense things that we can’t.  Maybe even the paranormal.  Noted veterinarian Rachel Barrack says that when cats appear to be staring into space, they may actually be detecting subtle motion, because their vision is much more acute than ours.  Plus, studies show that cats see some spectrums of light that we don’t, like ultraviolet (UV) light.  According to an expert, not only are cats capable of seeing and hearing things that we can’t, their brains are wired differently than people’s too. So when a cat is watching something that doesn’t seem to be there, or if they call out to us about this perceived presence, we should respect that not only are they trying to figure this something out, but they’re wondering if the situation is safe.
(But why always at night, when I’m home alone?)
(So my cat is seeing paranormal beings.  Or possibly hearing a bug.)
(So explain why they suddenly remember that they have to be in another room RIGHT THIS SECOND!)
-TheDodo

LIFE LESSONS FROM AN 80-YEAR-OLD MAN (part 2):
☞ Choose your life’s mate carefully.  From this decision will come 90% of your happiness or misery.
☞ Lend only those books you never care to see again.
☞ Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
☞ Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
☞ Don’t burn bridges.  You’d be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
☞ Take charge of your attitude.  Don’t let someone else choose it for you.
☞ Once in a while, take the scenic route.
☞ Send your loved ones flowers.  Think of a reason later.
☞ Loosen up.  Relax.  Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.
☞ Live your life so your epitaph could read: ‘No Regrets’.
-Pat Divilly

BS CHRONOMETER 09.21.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [70] Stephen King, Portland ME, scary author (“Cell”, “The Shining”)  Coming up: “Castle Rock”, 2018

1950 [67] Bill Murray, Wilmette IL, movie actor (“Lost in Translation”, “Groundhog Day”)

1957 [60] Ethan Coen, St Louis Park MN, filmmaker (Coen Bros-“True Grit”, “No Country For Old Men”)  Coming Up: “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs”, 2018

1967 [50] Faith Hill, Ridgeland MS, country singer (‘Forever Country’, ‘This Kiss’)/Mrs Tim McGraw since 1996

1967 [50] Tyler Stewart, Toronto ON, pop drummer (Barenaked Ladies – ‘One Week’, ‘If I had $1,000,000’)

1968 [49] Ricki Lake, Hastings-on-Hudson NY, TV talk show host (“The Ricki Lake Show” 2012, “Ricki Lake” 1993-2004)/movie actress (“Hairspray”, “Serial Mom”)

1971 [46] Luke Wilson, Dallas TX, movie actor (“3:10 to Yuma”, “Blades of Glory”)/brother of actor Owen Wilson)  Coming Up: “Arizona”, 2018

1971 [46] Alfonso Ribeiro, The Bronx NY, TV actor (“Carlton Banks” on “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” 1990-1996, season 19 winner on “Dancing with the Stars”)

1972 [45] Liam Gallagher, Manchester UK, outspoken rock singer (Beady Eye -‘The Roller’, ex-Oasis – ‘Wonderwall’, ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger’)

1989 [28] Jason Derulo, Miami FL, R&B singer-songwriter (‘In My Head’, ‘Whatcha Say’)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Last Full Day of Summer” in the Northern Hemisphere (sniff!) as Autumn officially arrives on Friday at 4:02pm EDT.

• “Miniature Golf Day”. The first mini-golf was the ‘Tom Thumb Golf Course’ built in 1929 in Chattanooga TN by John Garnet Carter.  Nowadays there’s a ‘Professional Miniature Golf Association’ that holds the ‘PMGA Championship’ each year.

• “Pecan Cookie Day”, whether you prefer butter pecan, caramel pecan, orange pecan, or maple pecan cookies, enjoy a delicious treat today in honor of National Pecan Cookie Day! (One of each, please!)

• “Pause the World Day”, sirens, television, computers, printers, car stereos, endless talking — Most of us accept this daily racket as normal. Most of us rarely experience true silence, but silence can help you to get in touch with your emotions, provide you with a sense of calm, and leave you feeling rejuvenated (or just make you notice that ringing in your ears….)

• “World Alzheimer’s Day”, an annual observance to raise awareness about Alzheimer’s disease and dementia.

• “Rosh Hashanah” (‘Head Of the Year’), the celebration of the Jewish New Year starting at sundown (and continuing for 2 days).  It’s also called the ‘Feast Of the Trumpets’, as the blowing of a shofar (ram’s horn) announces the beginning of celebrations. Traditional Jewish foods that accompany the observance include challah bread, apples dipped in honey, and tzimmes (TZIM’-ess), a mixture of carrots, cinnamon, yams, prunes & honey.

• “World Gratitude Day”, designed to ‘unite all people in a positive emotion of gratitude, creating a world community’. (Brought to you by the ‘Association of the Hopelessly Overly-Optimistic’.)

AND REMEMBER…
[Fri] Beginning of Fall (Northern Hemisphere)
[Fri] Love Note Day
[Fri] Ice Cream Cone Day
[Sat] Batman Day
[Sat] Checkers Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1970 [47] ‘Monday Night Football’ premieres on ABC – Browns 31, Jets 21

2001 [16] 27 TV networks air “America: A Tribute to Heroes”, a star-studded benefit for families of 9/11 victims that’s broadcast live from NYC & LA

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2004 [13] Singer Cat Stevens, known as ‘Yusuf Islam’ since the late ‘70s, is taken off a London-to-Washington United Airlines flight because his name appears on a government ‘no-fly’ list

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1985 [32] Little-known 24-year-old actor George Clooney makes his 1st appearance as a handyman on the popular TV sitcom “The Facts of Life” (goes on to appear in 17 episodes)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1982 [35] Albert McReynolds catches a record 78-and-a-half pound striped bass off Atlantic City, New Jersey

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ While reading, you are prone to taking on attributes of fictional characters as your own.
✓ The average four year-old child asks over four hundred questions a day.
✓ Children of identical twins are legally first cousins, but genetically, they are half-siblings.
✓ Humans shed 40 pounds of skin in their lifetime, completely replacing their outer skin every month.
✓ More than half of people think stormy weather affects cloud computing.
✓ The more features your phone has, the more time you spend in the toilet.
-All-That-Is-Interesting

CONFUSING WEDDING INVITATION ATTIRE INSTRUCTIONS:
• Seminude semiformal
• Upper West Side farmhouse
• Winter heatwave
• Extreme black tie
• Closed Rust Belt factory
• Hypodermic needle beach casual
• Saharan water park
• Men without hats
• International Space Station urban
• Ecuadorian nonsensical
• Comfortable but not too comfortable
• Full Kryptonian marriage garb
• Roaring ’20s but two months after the crash
• The second-fanciest outfit from Beyonce’s Formation video
• Commando

-McSweeney’s

BS RANDOM JOKE:
My wife and I were happy for twenty years.  Then we met.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What is the most extreme thing you’ve done in an attempt to appear more attractive?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Most people have at least 3 of these and don’t realize how important they are until they don’t have access to one.
Answer: Phone Charger

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Fascination is one step beyond interest.  Interested people want to know IF it works.
Fascinated people want to know HOW it works.


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