Thursday, September 22, 2011        Edition: #4592
100% Grade A Bull!

The first “Avatar”-themed ‘land’ will be built at Walt Disney World in Orlando FL, with construction of the $400-million attraction expected to start by 2013 (shares in blue paint just went up!) . . . Movie star George Clooney has gotten married, but only in an ad for a Norwegian bank (ok ladies, you can start your collective heart again) . . . Las Vegas magician and former ladies’ man Criss Angel is set to marry girlfriend Sandra Gonzalez (careful girl, it could be some kind of trick!) . . . Final figures show that Ashton Kutcher’s debut on “Two-and-a-Half Men” (CBS) has broken all previous ratings records while Charlie Sheen was the star, pulling in a massive 28.7 million (but if reviews mean anything, it’ll be a one-shot deal) . . . Meantime, TMZ reports Charlie Sheen has described Ashton Kutcher’s debut as the ‘best intro for a new a character on a TV show of all time’ (right, that $100-million payoff apparently came with strings attached) . . . Nicole Scherzinger has revealed she used to be obsessed with her “X Factor” co-judge Paula Abdul and even had Paula wallpaper in her room while ‘growing up’ (now there’s a left-handed compliment – meow!) . . . 49-year-old Rosie O’Donnell, who’s set to premiere “The Rosie Show” on Oprah’s OWN next month, has reportedly found a new girlfriend, Michelle Rounds, a NYC corporate headhunter whom she reportedly met at a Starbucks (“Oh wow, are you into Red Velvet Whoopie Pies too?”) . . . 26-year-old former “Playboy” model Kendra Wilkinson has found it important to tell “Us Weekly” she & her football player-hubby Hank Baskett once had sex in Cabo San Lucas – while on a jet ski (at speed?) . . . 25-year-old “Glee” actress Dianna Agron (‘Quinn Fabray’) tells “Reveal” magazine she still has shoes she wore when she was 13 because she’s a hoarder who hates throwing anything away (that’s gotta be one stuffed closet!) . . . And a rep for Robert Pattinson tells MTV News a report suggesting the “Twilight Saga” star is planning to pursue a career as a singer is untrue, and he is NOT currently working on an album (no word on rumors he’d like to become an actor).

• “Charlie’s Angels” (ABC/CTV) – This remake premieres 35 years to the day after the original (see This Day in Show Biz below). The new version stars Annie Ilonzeh, Minka Kelly, and Rachael Taylor. Veteran actor Robert Wagner is the voice of ‘Charlie’. (Will it be able to make us forget the 2 horrific movies?)
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Kelly Clarkson (“Stronger”, out October 25th).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – 1970s-80s singer Daryl Hall (“Laughing Down Crying”, out September 27th).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Atmosphere (“The Family Sign”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Telekinesis (“12 Desperate Straight Lines”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Chris Cornell (Soundgarden).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Celine Dion (Caesars Palace show “Celine”).
• “Prime Suspect” (NBC/Global) – Series premiere of new cop drama starring Maria Bello as a female detective who has to make her bones in a tough NYC precinct dominated by men. Based on the long-running British show (1991-2006) that starred Helen Mirren.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Bush (“Sea of Memories”).
• “Whitney (NBC/CTV) – Debut of new comedy series starring comedian/actress Whitney Cummings, based on her real-life experiences and her comedy routines.
• Other TV season debuts tonight include “The Big Bang Theory” (CBS/CTV); “Community” (NBC/CityTV); “Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC/CTV); ;”The Mentalist” (CBS/CTV); “The Office” (NBC/Global); “Parks & Recreation” (NBC/CityTV); and “Person of Interest” (ABC/CityTV).

• Adele – She says she’s reconnected with the unnamed ex-boyfriend who broke her heart and inspired her hit album “21”. Quote: “He changed my life, I can’t deny that.”
• Black Eyed Peas – has assured fans they are NOT breaking up as Kanye West has suggested. During his show at the Austin City Limits Music Festival, Kanye shouted out: “Rest in peace to the Black Eyed Peas. You’re gonna be missed.”
• Journey – Guitarist Neal Schon’s wife, former Playboy playmate Ava Fabian, says she’s heartbroken over his affair with “Real Housewives of DC” star Michaele Salahi. Fabian & Schon wed in Paris just months ago. Will she go back to him? Quote: “Um no, thank-you.”
• Papa Roach – Frontman Jacoby Shaddix says he’s currently working on their new album and he wants it to be more than an ‘average white-guy rock record’. He hopes to create something that inspires people, and allows them to separate themselves from other bands.
• Rush – This fall they’ll be returning to the studio to resume work on their 20th studio album, “Clockwork Angels”, due out in 2012. Meantime, a new live double CD/DVD, “Time Machine 2011: Live In Cleveland”, is coming November 8th.
• Sheryl Crow – She’s composing music and lyrics for a new stage musical based on the 1982 movie “Diner”, which starred Kevin Bacon. The story of 6 former high school friends who reunite before a wedding will arrive on Broadway next year.
• Taylor Swift – The CD/DVD and CD/Blu-ray sets “Speak Now World Tour – Live” will be out November 21st, the day before the tour wraps with the 2nd of 2 SRO shows at NYC’s Madison Square Garden.
• Toby Keith – He’s now the highest-paid country star, according to a new “Forbes” listing. He earned $50 million over the past year thanks to a sponsorship deal with Ford, his I Love This Bar & Grill restaurant chain, and his Mezcal drink ‘Wild Shots’. And, oh yeah, he sold a few records too.
• TI – Sales of his Akoo clothing line have shot up 25% over the last year … while he was in prison. He’s currently finishing off his sentence in a halfway house. (But after this news, he may consider heading back to the hoosgow!)

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Child of God” – James Franco (“127 Hours”) has shelved plans to direct “Blood Meridian” and will now work on this adaptation of author Cormac McCarthy’s 3rd novel. The story follows a recently-released convict who lives outside of normal society in a cave in the Tennessee hills.
• “Ghostbusters 3” – Actress Sigourney Weaver says none of the comedy series’ stars is likely to sign on for Dan Aykroyd’s planned 3rd film if original star Bill Murray doesn’t come aboard. Murray has previously stated he won’t take part and hasn’t even read the script.
• “King of Heists” – Jeremy Renner (“The Town”, “The Hurt Locker”) will play George Leslie in this upcoming crime thriller. The real-life thief put together a gang and masterminded the audacious theft of $3 million in cash from NYC’s Manhattan Savings Institution in 1878.
• “Lincoln” – Filmmaker Steven Spielberg won’t release his Abraham Lincoln bio-pic until after the 2012 US election because he doesn’t want it to become ‘political fodder’. Daniel Day-Lewis has the title role; Sally Field plays his wife, Mary Todd. Shooting begins this fall in Virginia.
• “Wonder Woman” – Director Nicolas Winding Refn has played down reports he’s bringing the comic book super-heroine to the bigscreen, insisting a comment he made about his ‘dream project’ spiraled out of control. But if he did make it, who would star? Christina Hendricks.

Chinese couples worried about the ‘7-year itch’ can now plan a reminder of their love by posting a letter to their future selves. Beijing Post is offering to store letters and deliver them after 7 years, part of a series of romantic services recently introduced. Customers can also buy special stamps, postmarks, postcards, envelopes and even a ‘Love Passport’, which can be stamped every anniversary. The post office says it came up with the services not just to expand business but also to offer the public another way to express their love. (It also makes for a handy excuse on why the mail sometimes takes years to arrive.)

Having trouble getting things done? Maybe you need an annoying voice in your ear reminding you what’s on your agenda. If you’re willing to pay for the service, that voice could belong to 27-year-old Gordon McGladdery, founder and sole employee of British Columbia-based ‘Hasslers’. For a fee between 59¢ and $1.19 per contact, he’ll text, email, or phone you to gently but firmly remind you to stick to your task. The most popular hassling request – dieting, followed by homework. So far, his company has about 60 clients.

The most common body poses that show interest from a member of the opposite sex, according to behavioral expert David Lewis …
• She opens her lips and licks them.
• She flicks her hair back with her hand or a toss of her head.
• She gazes at you for longer than a few seconds.
• She massages her head or neck with one hand.
• She crosses and uncrosses her legs.
• She points her knee toward you if she’s sitting with one leg tucked under the other.
• She makes small agitated movements with her fingers and hands.
• He massages his outer thigh while you’re with him.
• He makes preening gestures, such as adjusting his clothing or smoothing his hair.
• He narrows his eyes while you’re speaking to him.
• He hooks his thumbs into his belt in a cowpoke pose that’s meant to look more manly.
• He strokes his jaw line as he looks at you.
• He tries to make eye contact with you in a relaxed friendly manner.
• He plays with a cylindrical object such as a glass or a pen while he’s speaking with you.
– PA News

‘Jala Neti’ is a yoga technique used to clear sinuses by pouring a tiny pot of saltwater into one nostril and exhaling it out the other. Gross? You bet your snot-streaked sleeve, but some say it’s nothing to sniff at when it comes to freeing up breathing. Russian Fedor Konyukhov has won 3 consecutive “Jala Neti World Championships”. This year the sultan of sinus blew the competition away by blasting 5 liters of water out of his nose faster than anyone else.
– Adapted from

A tonic made from tomatoes was popular in the late 1800s for curing diarrhea. This tonic is still around today; it is called … ‘ketchup’.
– History Channel


1958 [53] Andrea Bocelli, Lajatico, Italy, operatic singer (“The Prayer”)

1958 [53] Joan Jett (Larkin), Philadelphia PA, classic rock singer (“I Love Rock & Roll”)

1961 [50] Bonnie Hunt, Chicago IL, movie actress (“Cars” movies, “Cheaper By the Dozen” films)/TV talk show host (“The Bonnie Hunt Show” 2008-10)

1987 [24] Tom Felton, London UK, movie actor (‘Draco Malfoy’ in “Harry Potter” films)

• “Business Women’s Day”, celebrating the important contribution of working women and women business owners.

• “Centenarians Day”, honoring those who’ve lived 100 years or more … which will soon be most of us!

• “Dear Diary Day”, a day to ‘put it on paper because it’ll make you feel better’. (Until someone sneaky finds your diary and reads all your deepest, darkest secrets.)

• “Elephant Appreciation Day”, to celebrate the world’s most interesting and noble endangered land animal.

• “Last Full Day of Summer” in the Northern Hemisphere (sniff!) as Autumn officially arrives Friday morning at 5:05 am EDT.

• “OneWebDay”, the 5th annual global celebration of online life. The goal is to create and make visible a global constituency that cares about the future of the Internet.

• “White Chocolate Day”, honoring the tasty confection of sugar, cocoa butter, and milk solids. It first appeared in Switzerland in the 1930s when Nestlé invented it to use up excess cocoa butter. To qualify as real ‘white chocolate’, it must be at least 20% cocoa butter by weight.

• “World Car-Free Day”. Wow, free cars? No silly, it’s an annual effort to help create permanent change to benefit pedestrians, cyclists, and other people who do not drive cars.

• “World Maritime Day”, honoring the tradition of seafaring. So to all the ships at sea … here’s to ya, maties! Argh!

1976 [35] “Charlie’s Angels” debuts on ABC-TV, starring Kate Jackson as ‘Sabrina Duncan’, Farrah Fawcett as ‘Jill Munroe’, and Jaclyn Smith as ‘Kelly Garrett’ (original working title – “The Alley Cats”)

1985 [26] 1st ‘Farm Aid’ benefit concert is held (Champaign, Illinois) as founders Willie Nelson, Neil Young, and John Mellencamp help raise $10 million to aid the farming community

1986 [25] ‘The Wave’ (originally called the ‘Mexican Wave’) first achieves widespread popularity in stadiums during the World Cup soccer finals in Mexico City

[Fri] First Day of Fall
[Fri] iHeartRadio Music Festival begins (Las Vegas)
[Fri] Celebrate Bisexuality Day
[Fri] “Abduction”; “Dolphin Tale 3D”;  “Killer Elite”; “Moneyball” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Responsible Dog Ownership Day
[Sat] Hunting & Fishing Day
[Sun] One-Hit Wonder Day
This Week Is … Adult Immunization Awareness Week
This Month Is … Update Your Résumé Month


• Not enough hours in the day to rinse, lather, and repeat.
• Getting caught in the rain means you stink like a Labrador.
• You keep a Weed Whacker in the medicine cabinet.
• Another guy in the sauna asks, “Isn’t it a little hot for the sweater?”
• Discovery Channel wants to shoot blurry footage of you naked for their ‘Bigfoot’ story.
• Your doctor tells you you’ve got mange.
• As your girlfriend runs her fingers over your hairy chest, your missing monkey wrench turns up.

Smiling, waving, and saying nothing controversial is the way to win beauty contests … and elections.

In a “McCalls” magazine poll, what did most wives say they’d like to change about their husbands?
a. His height.
b. His weight. [CORRECT, picked by 32%. 22% lack of style; 11% lack of hair; 9% height.]
c. His lack of style.
d. His lack of hair.

Does living together really save couples money? What do you save on; what costs more?

Question: A survey shows it takes at least 12 dates on average before a couple does THIS.
Answer: Exchanges house keys.

The dog’s kennel is not the place to keep a sausage.

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