Friday, September 22, 2017        Edition: #6061

100% Grade A Bull!

★ Gary Oldman got nicotine poisoning on the set of his upcoming movie ‘Darkest Hour’.  It seems that in order to accurately portray British World War II Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill, one must have a lit cigar at almost all times. Oldman’s body struggled to cope with the high levels of nicotine from the cigars and he became ill.  He also says that he is claiming the record for wearing a fat suit for “50 consecutive days”.
(Non-stop cigar-smoking and covered in fat….sounds like my last hunting trip!)
★ Another reboot!  ‘Sabrina the Teenage Witch’ is getting the resurrection treatment at The CW, and as if that weren’t amazing enough news, it’s from the same producers who gave us ‘Riverdale’.  Per Variety, The CW and Warner Bros Television are working on a new one-hour drama chronicling the adventures of Sabrina Spellman, with a dark tone in-keeping with ‘Riverdale’.
(And when can we expect the Riverdale/Sabrina crossover to happen?)
★ ‘Melissa & Joey’ star Melissa Joan Hart is facing the wrath of social media after complaining that Hurricane Maria canceled her family vacation.  Along with a photo of an alert on her cell phone, as Maria made landfall on the Caribbean Island of Dominica, Hart Instagrammed:  “And just like that, our family vacation is canceled. Such a bummer but we plan to hit the @nickresortpuntacana resort another time this year,” Though she deleted the Instagram, she kept a tweet that linked to the post, and many took the opportunity to slam the actress for her tone-deaf gripe.
★ Jake Gyllenhaal wants to settle down and have a family.  According to him, ”I want to continue becoming more of an adult than I already am. Hopefully with a family of my own.” Gyllenhaal has previously admitted that his parents divorcing when he was 30 ”changed the dynamic” in his life.  But for the time being, Jake says that he loves being an uncle to his sister Maggie’s children, Ramona, 10 and Gloria, five.  Gyllenhaal is currently single.
(As far as we know…)
★ Add Sean Penn to the list of film stars turning to the small screen. The two-time Oscar winner will make his TV series-regular debut and star in Hulu’s straight-to-series space drama ‘The First’.  The show is set in the near future and explores the first human mission to Mars and interplanetary colonization. Production will begin this year for a premiere in 2018.
★ Kirsten Dunst got more ‘stoned’ than she’s ever been in her life when she accidentally smoked a “full joint” on the set of ‘Woodshock’.  During filming, Kirsten was smoking fake pot, but found herself feeling like she was “losing [her] mind” during a break after she’d finished retakes of one particular scene.  Dunst later found out she had accidentally smoked real cannabis after a local was tasked with preparing the prop joint.
(Right.  ‘Accidentally’.  Just like you told your mom when you were 15….)

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Sean Spicer, Sloane Stephens ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV):The cast of “Will & Grace”, Colin Jost, Bruce Bozzi Jr., Billie Joe Armstrong
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Bobby Moynihan
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Edie Falco, Jordan Klepper, Grace Coddington
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Julia Louis Dreyfus, Ray Romano, Billy Idol ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Anthony Scaramucci, Little Big Town
• “The Talk” (CBS): Sonequa Martin-Green, Serinda Swan
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Colin Firth, Sonya Fitzpatrick
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jake Gyllenhaal, Kesha
• “Shark Tank” (ABC): Heat and eat paleo meals; a high-tech device for catching fish; magnet stickers for hanging art.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): “Live Results Finale” Tyra Banks reveals the $1 million winner.
• “Celebrity Family Feud” (ABC): USA Gymnastics vs. USA Swimming. Celebrity battles featuring Faith Evans, Ross Mathews and Olympic athletes.
• “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” (E!): “10th Anniversary Special” The Kardashians reflect back on the most monumental events in their lives.

• Fergie – says she can breathe a sigh of relief now that she doesn’t have to keep her split from husband Josh Duhamel a secret.  She says it was “getting a little weird for us with all the romantic questions”.
• Dave Grohl – says that Prince Harry was among the first to visit him after his leg surgery.  Apparently the Prince brought a gift:  “This little pillow to put my iPad on while I was in recovery,” says Grohl.
• Harry Styles – turned One Direction’s ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ into a rock ‘n’ roll number at his San Francisco show on Tuesday night. While the majority of his set was songs from his solo album, he made sure to pay homage to where his career began, also performing 1D’s ‘Stockholm Syndrome’.
• John Lennon – His widow Yoko Ono has forced the makers of a soft drink named after him to change its name, arguing that it infringed on Lennon’s trademark. The vegan and gluten-free ‘John Lemon’ drink range was launched in 2012 by a Polish company.
• Guns N’ Roses – former guitarist Gilby Clarke began an Ontario ‘micro-tour’ last night in Barrie.  The tour wraps in Toronto September 30.
• Jay-Z – Some reports have claimed recently that Jay-Z had been offered the 2018 Super Bowl halftime slot but rejected the chance  to show “solidarity” to Colin Kaepernick, the player many feel has been ostracized after speaking out about race relations in America and refusing stand during the US national anthem.  The NFL claims that “no decisions” have been made about performers.
• Miley Cyrus – has shared the tracklist for her forthcoming new album, ‘Younger Now’.  The album will come with just one duet, but it’s a major one: Cyrus’ godmother, Dolly Parton. Parton appears on the song ‘Rainbowland.’  ‘Younger Now’ comes out next Friday (Sept. 29).
• Thomas Rhett – admits that he and wife Lauren were “completely unprepared” for the whirlwind that 2017 has been for them.  In the span of a few months, they became parents to both toddler Willa Gray, adopted from Uganda, and biological daughter Ada James.
• Ryan Kinder – has released a video for his soulful single ‘Still Believe In Crazy Love’.  The video illustrates the many versions of “Crazy Love” with visuals and intermittent audio breaks allowing individuals to share their stories.

• “Kingsman: The Golden Circle” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure):  When their headquarters are destroyed and the world is held hostage, the Kingsman’s journey leads them to the discovery of an allied spy organization in the US. These two elite secret organizations must band together to defeat a common enemy. (Taron Egerton, Colin Firth, Mark Strong, Channing Tatum)
• “The LEGO Ninjago Movie” (PG, Animation/Comedy):  Six young ninjas are tasked with defending their island home, ‘Ninjago’.  By night, they’re gifted warriors, using their skills and awesome fleet of vehicles to fight villains and monsters. By day, they’re ordinary teens struggling against their greatest enemy: high school. (Jackie Chan, Dave Franco, Fred Armisen, Kumail Nanjiani)
• “Battle of the Sexes” (PG-13, Comedy/Drama):  The true story of the 1973 tennis match between World number one Billie Jean King and ex-champ and serial hustler Bobby Riggs. (Emma Stone, Andrea Riseborough, Steve Carell, Elisabeth Shue)
• “Stronger” (R-Rated, Drama): The inspiring real-life story of Jeff Bauman, an ordinary man who captured the hearts of his city and the world to become a symbol of hope following the infamous 2013 Boston Marathon bombing. (Jake Gyllenhaal, Tatiana Maslany, Miranda Richardson)
• “Friend Request” (R-Rated, Horror/Mystery):  A popular college student graciously accepts a social outcast’s online friend request, but soon finds herself fighting a demonic presence that wants to make her lonely by killing her closest friends. (Alycia Debnam-Carey, William Moseley)
• “Woodshock” (R-Rated, Drama/Thriller):  A woman falls deeper into paranoia after taking a deadly drug. (Kirsten Dunst, Pilou Asbæk, Joe Cole, Jack Kilmer)

∞ The U.S. Navy will be using Microsoft Xbox 360 controllers to operate the periscopes aboard its newer submarines.  Some subs don’t have a traditional rotating periscope because they’ve been replaced by cameras and monitors.  The Navy plans to integrate an Xbox controller into the system because they are more familiar to young sailors and require less training.  (Dudes are probably already VERY well-trained on those things!)
∞ A company called Ctrl-Labs plans to create a wristband that lets you send text messages and emails using just your thoughts, and it could be available as soon as next year.  The New York start-up has created brianwave-reading technology that it hopes will become mainstream by 2020.  The technology is capable of generating text by picking up signals a person’s brain sends to their fingers, meaning you can ‘type’ without touching a keyboard.  (Brainwave-reading technology inspired by my wife!)
∞ We’ve all heard stories of ‘Instagram models’ or people who are ‘Instagram famous’ living the high life, and how they are making a fortune without having to do any real work. But, until now, it’s been relatively unclear how much these social media influencers are getting paid for their sponsored posts.  TRIBE is a conglomerate that connects influencers to marketers. Founder Georgie Cavanagh says someone needs at least 3,000 followers on Instagram before they can start getting paid. On average, a TRIBE influencer earns about $200 per post and top earners are now making over $1000 a week through the platform.
Here is a sample rate card PER POST:
3K-10K followers = $75 – $150
10K-25K = $150 – $220
25K-50K = $220 – $350
50K-100K = $350 – $500
100K+ = $500+
And remember, this is Instagram-only.  Social media influencers with huge follower counts across multiple social networks can ask for a LOT more money when they’re reaching wide audiences on multiple platforms.
-AP, NewYorkTimes, DailyMail

One of the few bright spots in an otherwise disappointing year for movies has been Stephen King’s ‘It’.  The primary antagonist of the film is ‘Pennywise the Dancing Clown’, a demonic entity with ancient origins who takes the form of a common circus performer.  Why do we find clowns so freaking scary?   The profession dates back to the royal court jesters of the middle ages.  But they have always had a dark side.  The use of the ‘bad’ clown began to grow popular in the late 1900s thanks to movies and books like ‘Killer Clowns from Outer Space’ (1988), ‘It’ (the novel, miniseries, and 2017 film), and ‘Clown’ (2014).  And real life events play a large part in the fear of clowns too, even beyond the hysteria about killer clowns last summer.  Part of the inspiration for Pennywise was serial killer John Wayne Gacy, who was given the moniker ‘Killer Clown’ for his use of a clown costume in his murders.  The fear of clowns is a fairly common phobia, mainly in children but it is also seen in adults. The phobia can range from mild to very severe and it is called ‘Coulrophobia’. It is not known exactly what causes Coulrophobia but the thinking is that children are afraid of clowns because of the exaggerated face paintings. Babies and toddlers are very reactive to unfamiliar body types or people with an unfamiliar face. For older kids the fear may also come from horror movies as the media will often portray clowns as evil characters.
(Or maybe its just because they are so damn creepy…)
(OK, that’s why my 4 year-old is scared of them.  Now, what about me?)
(And don’t even get me started about my clown nightmares….!)
-Kallikids, ReadersDigest


1958 [59] Andrea Bocelli, Lajatico, Italy, operatic singer (“Time to Say Goodbye” w/Sarah Brightman, “The Prayer” w/Celine Dion)

1958 [59] Joan Jett (Larkin), Philadelphia PA, classic rock singer (“I Love Rock & Roll”)

1960 [57] Scott Baio, New York City NY, TV actor (“Happy Days”, “Charles in Charge”)

1961 [56] Bonnie Hunt, Chicago IL, movie actress (“Cars” movies, “Cheaper By the Dozen” films)

1987 [30] Tom Felton, London UK, movie actor (‘Draco Malfoy’ in “Harry Potter” films)

1943 [74] Julio Iglesias, Madrid Spain, world music singer (w/Willie Nelson: “To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before”, Spanish singer-songwriter who has sold more than one hundred million records, going gold or platinum more than 400 times).

1949 [68] Bruce Springsteen, Freehold NJ, rock singer (20 Grammy Awards, including “Dancing In the Dark”, “Tunnel of Love”)/Academy Award (“Streets of Philadelphia”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1999)

1959 [58] Jason Alexander, Newark NJ, TV actor (‘George Costanza’ in “Seinfeld” from 1989-1998)

1972 [45] Jermaine Dupri (Mauldin), Asheville NC, music producer/recording exec (Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, Nelly, TLC, Usher)

1959 [58] Steve Whitmire, Atlanta GA, former Muppet voice actor (after Jim Henson died in 1990, voice of ‘Kermit the Frog’, ‘Ernie’, ‘Rizzo the Rat’, ‘Beaker’, ‘Bean Bunny’, ‘Doozer’, etc) until his dismissal in July 2017

1962 [55] Nia Vardalos, Winnipeg MB, movie actress/screenwriter (“My Life in Ruins”, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”)

1964 [53] Robert Irvine, Salisbury England, chef (“Dinner: Impossible” and “Restaurant: Impossible”)

• “Autumnal Equinox” in the Northern Hemisphere, as Fall officially arrives this afternoon at 4:02EDT.  Fall ends with the start of Winter on December 21  (This day is also notable as the official launch of pumpkin spice everything!)
• “Business Women’s Day”, celebrating the important contribution of working women and women business owners.
• “Dear Diary Day”, a day to ‘put it on paper because it’ll make you feel better’. (Until someone sneaky finds your diary and Instagrams all your deepest, darkest secrets.)
• “Centenarians Day”, honoring those who’ve lived 100 years or more (you’d best hurry up and honor them!)
• “Hobbit Day”, celebrating author JRR Tolkien and the birthdays of his characters ‘Frodo’ and ‘Bilbo Baggins’. “The Hobbit” was 1st published 80 years ago today
• “White Chocolate Day”, honoring the tasty confection of sugar, cocoa butter, and milk solids. It 1st appeared in Switzerland in the 1930s when Nestlé invented it to use up excess cocoa butter. To qualify as real ‘white chocolate’, it must be at least 20% cocoa butter by weight.

• “Celebrate Bisexuality Day”, initiated in 1999 and now observed in Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the USA, and some European countries.
• “Restless Legs Awareness Day”, to foster better understanding of this treatable condition. RLS (aka Willis-Ekbom Disease) is a neurological disorder that causes an irresistible urge to move the legs, often accompanied by unpleasant sensations. About 3% of adults are affected (plus their spouses!)
• “Batman Day”, saluting the 1939 creation of the character as a comic strip hero in DC Comics. It’s been calculated it would take a person 15-to-18 years to do all the training they’d need to take on the job.  Forbes estimates alter-ego Bruce Wayne’s worth at $9.2 billion, and lists his company, ‘Wayne Enterprises’, as having annual revenue of $31.3 billion.

• “Cherries Jubilee Day”, celebrating the decadent dessert that’s always served flambée. Wanna make a home version?  All you need is a can of cherry pie filling, some cognac (or brandy), vanilla ice cream, and … a match.
• “Punctuation” Day!”, the 10th annual celebrating the traffic signs of written language. (Wow! Eh?)
• “Daughter’s Day”, a day to pay special tribute to female offspring. If she’s a teenager, she’ll no doubt respond, “Yeah right … whatever.”

1994 [23] NBC-TV sitcom ‘Friends’ debuts with the episode “The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate” (the show is originally called “Friends Like Us”, but is temporarily changed to “Six of One” to avoid confusion with “These Friends of Mine” … which later becomes “Ellen”)

1969 [48] The Band released their self-titled album, which peaked at No.9 on the US chart.  The album, including ‘Up on Cripple Creek’ and ‘The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down’, was preserved into the National Recording Registry in 2009 because the album was ‘culturally, historically, or aesthetically important, and reflects life in the United States.’

2011 [06] Research conducted by car maker SEAT found that Queen’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ was the song most likely to be found on British iPods, with more than 40% of owners having the song on their players.

1985 [32] 1st ‘Farm Aid’ benefit concert is held (Champaign, Illinois) as founders Willie Nelson, Neil Young, and John Mellencamp help raise $10 million to aid the farming community (All 3 also played this year’s event Sept. 16 in Pennsylvania)

2003 [14] Detroit Tigers set an American League record with their 118th loss of the season (12-6 to KC Royals), beating the previous mark by the Philadelphia Athletics … in 1915 (Tigers finished at 43-119…43 games out of a post-season appearance)


✓ More iPhones are sold every day than people are born.
✓ Bamboo is stronger than steel. It has greater tensile strength and it even withstands compression better than concrete.
✓ UPS was started by two teenagers with one bicycle and $100 borrowed from a friend.
✓ The Lion King will forever hold the record for best selling VHS of all time, with over 50 million copies sold.
✓ Every day, the average person will create a sentence that has never been said before.
✓ Sex is biochemically no different from eating large quantities of chocolate.

• Middle age is when you are warned to slow down by a doctor instead of a policeman.
• A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
• Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
• An escalator never breaks . . . it just becomes stairs.
• The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
• Today is the last day of your life, so far.
• What will today’s younger generation tell their children they had to do “without”?

• Not enough hours in the day to rinse, lather, and repeat.
• Getting caught in the rain means you stink like a Labrador.
• You keep a Weed Whacker in the medicine cabinet.
• Another guy in the sauna asks, “Isn’t it a little hot for the sweater?”
• Discovery Channel wants to shoot blurry footage of you naked for their ‘Bigfoot’ story.
• Your doctor tells you you’ve got mange.
• As your wife runs her fingers over your hairy chest, your missing monkey wrench turns up.
– First published in “BS” 2011.

I just found out I’m color blind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.

☎ What did YOU do on your summer vacation?

Question: Hurricanes aside  – THIS is also most likely to occur in August & September. What is it?
Answer: Childbirth

No matter how many plans you make or how much in control you are, life is always winging it.

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