Monday, September 26, 2016 – Edition: #5815

Sheet Happens!

The “Bull Sheet” is back! All accounts have been credited for missed issues during our 18-day late Summer getaway. Where’d we get to this time? Aix marks the spot.

★ 26-year-old Australian actress Margot Robbie (“Suicide Squad”) has been announced as host of the season premiere of “Saturday Night Live” (NBC). “SNL” returns October 1st with Season 42, when Robbie is joined by musical guest The Weeknd (“Starboy”, coming November 25th). There have been significant changes behind-the-scenes at “SNL” ahead of the new season, with Taran Killam, Jay Pharoah, and John Rudnitsky axed and being replaced by 3 new faces.
– “USA Today”
★ While the aftermath of the great divide that is ‘Brangelina’ can still be felt at water coolers and gossip sites, it seems like the rest of Hollywood is united in NOT taking sides at all. While there are exceptions (ie: Chelsea Handler calling Angelina Jolie a “lunatic”), there doesn’t seem to be a clear divide between Team Jolie and Team Pitt … yet. Meantime, an insider says the split is a result of Brad Pitt being drunk on the family plane. Quote: “There was a parent-child argument which was not handled in the right way and escalated more than it should have.”
– /
★ And Adam Levine & Behati Prinsloo have finally officially announced the birth of their first child, who actually came into the world last Wednesday. The Maroon 5 frontman and Victoria’s Secret model welcomed a daughter into the family, whom they’ve named Dusty Rose Levine. Both mother and daughter are doing well according to recent sources. Levine cancelled his band’s show in Hartford CT last week to make sure he was with his wife during the birth.
– “Us Magazine”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Lemon Twigs (“Do Hollywood”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – Nothing but Thieves (“Nothing but Thieves”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tool drummer Danny Carey sits in for the week.
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Elle King (“Love Stuff”).
• Presidential Debate (ABC/CBS/FOX/NBC/PBS) – “NBC Nightly News” anchor Lester Holt moderates from Hofstra University in Hempstead NY.
• “Vice News Tonight” (HBO) – Series debut of a new half-hour nightly newscast.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – The blind auditions continue as the vocalists perform for the judges.

• Adele – She tells “etalk” she thinks quitting smoking has made her voice … worse. She quit 5 years ago after suffering a vocal cord hemorrhage and having to undergo surgery. Now when people smoke around her, she says, it makes her miss it.
• Britney Spears – She tells “Flaunt” magazine she hardly ever jams out to her own music, despite creating nearly 2 decades-worth of chart-topping material. Quote: “I don’t really listen to my music. My kids and my nieces do. I’m about the creative process.”
• Charlie Puth – Tonight he begins his “Don’t Talk Tour” in Dallas TX, with dates scheduled through November 8th in Los Angeles CA.
• Chris Brown – All of his visits with daughter Royalty must be monitored by his mother while his assault case is open. Model Baylee Curran claims he threatened her with a gun in his California home last month. Investigators are still collecting evidence.
• Jason Aldean – With his new release, “They Don’t Know”, he’ll have the top spot on both the ‘Billboard 200’ and the ‘Top Country Albums’ charts when the new rankings debut tomorrow.
• Meat Loaf – His iconic rock opera “Bat Out of Hell” is being adapted into a musical in celebration of its upcoming 40th anniversary. Jim Steinman, the songwriter responsible for all the tracks on the 1977 album, is bringing “Bat Out of Hell: The Musical” to the stage next year.
• Mumford & Sons – They headlined Las Vegas’ Life is Beautiful Festival over the weekend. The 3-day event also included J Cole, Jane’s Addiction, Jimmy Eat World, The Lumineers, Major Lazer, and Tegan & Sara.
• One Direction – Liam Payne fans have been trying to ‘spot the bump’ as he and TV personality/pop singer Cheryl have been photographed together for the first time since pregnancy rumors began. Neither has yet spoken up to make things official.
• Rihanna – Saturday she headlined the 2016 Global Citizen Festival on the Great Lawn in NYC’s Central Park. There were also appearances from Chris Martin (a curator of the festival), Eddie Vedder, Ellie Goulding, and Usher.

16-year-old Brit girl Beau Jessup has come up with a website designed to help Chinese parents choose an English name for babies they’d like to experience international success. Her site asks parents to pay a small fee, input the baby’s gender, and choose 5 personality traits they hope the child will have. 3 names are selected for each family and printed on a certificate, along with their meanings and a famous person who shares the name. Jessup has offered up more than 200,000 names and made nearly $64,000 from the venture so far. She came up with the idea after hearing some ’embarrassing’ English names that had been given to Chinese babies. (ie: ‘Cinderella’ and ‘Gandalf’)
– “Daily Telegraph”

The so-called ‘5-Second Rule’ is off … by about 5 seconds. That’s what Rutgers University researchers say in a new study debunking the classic kitchen rule, which declares it safe to eat food off the floor if scooped up in a flash. After dropping watermelon, bread & butter, and gummy candy on stainless steel, tile, wood, and carpeted surfaces crawling with bacteria about 2,500 times – then leaving the food untouched for 1, 5, 30, or 300 seconds, the research team has found that some food can become contaminated instantaneously. The longer food sits on a surface, the more bacteria is usually transferred. One other discovery – the wetter the food, the higher the risk. If you are going to eat food off the floor the scientists say carpet is your best bet, since it’s least likely to transfer bacteria. (Go ahead … try it with your doormat. Ew.)
– CTV News

The Airports Council International is out with its annual “World Airport Traffic Report”, listing the busiest airports based on passengers served in the past year. The top 5 …
5. Tokyo International Airport (HND) … 75.6 million.
4. Chicago O’Hare International Airport (ORD) … 76.9 million.
3. Dubai International Airport (DXB) .. 78 million.
2. Beijing Capital International Airport (PEK) … 89.9 million.
1. Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport (ATL) … 101.5 million passengers.
– “Business Insider”

The capital of Thailand has been named the world’s most popular travel destination this year, according to an annual ranking by MasterCard. Bangkok, also known as the ‘City of Angels’, tops the 2016 listing of 132 cities, ahead of London, Paris, and Dubai to become the city most visited by international travelers on the Index of Global Destination Cities. Thailand expects to welcome a record 33 million visitors this year, thanks to an increase in Chinese tourists. Sprawling Bangkok is projected to receive 21.5 million international visitors in 2016, just ahead of 2nd-ranked London, with 19.9 million visitors. Reasons for the Thai city being on top? Value for money, plus food that’s second-to-none. Osaka, Japan has shown the strongest growth in international visitors over the past 7 years, mostly due to tourists from neighboring countries. (What would be your least popular travel destination? Aleppo? Calcutta? Cleveland?)

Ever want to own a handbag made out of a dead ginger cat? A taxidermy creation called ‘The Glamour Puss’ bag was put on New Zealand auction site TradeMe with a starting price of NZ$1 and ended up selling for 500 times that. Christchurch-based taxidermist Claire Third days she picked up the roadkill cat and kept it in her freezer for 3 months before deciding to turn it into a piece of art. After all, she says, it had a particularly nice face even though the rest of it was squashed. The project took approximately 300 hours to complete. Third has taxidermied many other animals – including a ‘Unicorn’ made up of various animals such as llamas and pheasants – but she works primarily with cats. (Road pizza skunks are too challenging.) Take a deep breath before viewing this …
– BBC News

Oddball highlights from the new “2017 Guinness World Records” …
✓ Largest Afro: Tyler Wright holds the record, with an afro that’s 10 inches high and 9 inches wide.
✓ Highest Llama Jump: A 9-year-old llama named Caspa nabbed this record after leaping 3 feet, 8.5 inches.
✓ Longest Full-Body Burn: Austrian stuntman Josef Toedtling set himself on fire for 5 minutes and 41 seconds.
✓ Fastest Escape From a Straight Jacket Underwater: Canada’s Lucas Wilson has managed to pull of this feat in just 22.86 seconds.
✓ Most Bowling Balls Held Simultaneously: American Chad McLean has recently held 13, weighing 208 lbs in total, thereby smashing the previous record of 9.

It would take 112,000 years to fly to the nearest Earth-like world, traveling at 25,000 mph.
– “Seeker”


1968 [48] Jim Caviezel, Mount Vernon WA, TV actor (“Person of Interest” 2011-16)/movie actor (“The Count of Monte Cristo”, “The Passion Of the Christ”)

1972 [44] Shawn Stockman, Philadelphia PA, oldies singer (Boyz II Men-“”I’ll Make Love to You”, “The End Of the Road”)

1981 [35] Serena Williams, Saginaw MI, #1-ranked women’s tennis player who’s considered one of the greatest all-time/22 Grand Slam singles championships

1981 [35] Christina Milian, Jersey City NJ, pop singer (“Say I”, “Dip It Low”)/movie actress (“Be Cool”, “American Pie”)

• “Better Breakfast Day”, to create awareness that making a healthy breakfast a part of your morning can get you and your family on track to making healthier choices throughout the day and help curb overeating at other meals.

• “Food Service Employees Day”, honoring those dedicated folks who slop your plate full in the cafeteria each day. Mmm, mystery meat!

• “International Tool Day”. So who do you think qualifies?

• “World Contraception Day”, to raise awareness about contraception and safe sex. Odd contraceptives used throughout history have included: crocodile dung, animal intestines, blacksmith water, lemon diaphragms, and – ew – brewed tea with beaver testicles.

2008 [08] Screen legend Paul Newman dies from cancer at age 83 at his home in Westport CT

2000 [16] Good Charlotte release their self-titled debut album

2003 [13] Brit rock singer Robert Palmer (“Addicted to Love”, “Simply Irresistible”) dies from a heart attack at age 54 in Paris, France

2007 [09] Music producer Phil Spector’s trial for the murder of actress Lana Clarkson ends in a mistrial (2 years later he’s convicted and sentenced to 19 years-to-life)

2012 [04] P!nk scores her first #1 album on the ‘Billboard 200’ chart with “The Truth About Love”

2014 [02] Bill & Hillary Clinton become first-time grandparents as Chelsea Clinton & husband Marc Mezvinsky announce the birth of their first child, Charlotte

1926 [90] Shortest MLB double-header ever played as NY Yankees lose 6-1 in 72 minutes and lose again 6-2 in 55 minutes to St Louis Browns (Yanks had already clinched the pennant)

[Tues] Springsteen autobiography “Born to Run” published
[Tues] All For the Hall Concert (Los Angeles CA)
[Tues] World Tourism Day
[Wed] Drink Beer Day
[Thurs] Biscotti Day
[Thurs] International Coffee Day

Banned Books Week / Fall Foliage Week / Health Information & Technology Week / World Hearing Aid Awareness Week


Highlight bits culled from 23 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
Your listeners get to star in their own sitcoms … sort of. Get a caller on the line and begin a simple story for them (“Yesterday, while I was at the office …”), followed by a sound effect. The listener takes it from there and ad libs each of the next lines based on the SFX you play. If they can continue their story through 10 SFX, they win!
– First published in “BS” 2001.

Switch the letters around in someone’s name and who knows what you’ll find. Actually, we do …
• Amy Poehler … My pale hero.
• Emma Watson … Team womans.
• Harry Styles … Her sly satyr.
• Jennifer Aniston … Fine in torn jeans.
• Justin Timberlake … I’m a jerk, but listen.
• Kanye West … Swanky tee.
• Kim Kardashian …. His kink, his drama.
• Lil Wayne … Wine ally.
• Madonna Louise Ciccone … One cool dance musician.
• Ryan Gosling … Sly groaning.
– First published in “BS” 2014.

Having a little gap between your 2 front teeth is known as what?
a. Diastima [CORRECT]
b. Spatial Syndrome
c. Handy for drinking through a straw.

There are a lot of foreign students in this country. They’re easy to spot. They’re the ones going to class.

☎ Hey, former nail-biters … how did you finally quit?

Question: Employment experts say you should avoid doing THIS while in a job interview.
Answer: Wearing a hat.

The rich are different from you and me because they have more credit.

Nina Oneill @ 107.7 Más Variedad [KHZS] Austin TX; Cathy Williams @ Kool 107 [WHKL] Crenshaw MS; Tommy Dee @ FM Max 88.5 Bangkok, Thailand; Greg Hoover @ 93.7 WRGG Greencastle PA; John Johnston @ 107.3 Radio Exe, Exeter UK; Steven Charles Wagner @ The Edge Kerrville, Kerrville TX; Melody Judge @ Lake 96.1 [WLKG] Lake Geneva WI; James Junker @ Capital Radio, Nairobi, Kenya; Nathan Dugger @ US96.3 [WUSJ] Jackson MI; Chad Council @ 1170 The Answer [KCBQ] San Diego CA; Mike Nielsen @ Hot 91.1 Maroochydore, Australia; and Krystina @ Lloyd 95.9 [CKSA] Lloydminster AB/SK.

Printer Friendly Version