Wednesday, September 29, 2010        Edition: #4353
There’s No BS Like Show BS …

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
It’s been confirmed that actress Gwyneth Paltrow is set to guest on “Glee” (FOX), playing a substitute teacher who ‘Will Schuester’ (Matt Morrison) falls for, and she’ll get 3 or 4 solo numbers to perform (promo for her upcoming movie, “Country Strong”, in which she plays a country singer?) . . . Meantime, “EW” reports that actor/singer Darren Criss (“Eastwick”) has been cast as ‘Blaine’, a charming gay student from a rival glee club, who forms a friendship with ‘Kurt’ during “Glee’s” current season (it’s said to be platonic – at first) . . . A new listing of celebrities with permits to carry a concealed weapon in NYC includes billionaire Donald Trump, actor Robert De Niro, singer Marc Anthony, shock jock Howard Stern, and NY Mets’ 3rd baseman David Wright (people not to stalk) . . . Movie actress Gloria Stuart, who played “Titanic” survivor ‘Rose Calvert’ in James Cameroon’s blockbuster, has died in LA at age 100 (she received her first & only Oscar nomination for that role – at age 88)  . . . TV personality George Lopez’s marriage has fizzled after 17 years, he & wife Ann agreeing to divorce (sadly, his lame talk show is still going strong) . . . And here’s proof Hollywood has run out of new ideas: Another sitcom based on a Twitter feed (a la “$#*! My Dad Says”) is being developed, this one an Ashton Kutcher production called “Shh … Don’t Tell Steve” (that you’re cheating on Demi?).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Zac Brown Band (“You Get What You Give”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings (“I Learned The Hard Way”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Blake Shelton (“All About Tonight”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Belle & Sebastian (“Write About Love”).
• “Law & Order: Los Angeles” (NBC) – Series premiere of the latest incarnation of the brand, starring Peter Coyote.
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Far East Movement (“Free Wired”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Seal (“Seal 6: Commitment”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bruce Springsteen – E Street Band drummer Max Weinberg will not be going with Conan O’Brien to his new talk show on TBS (debuting November 8th). Guitarist Jimmy Vivino will be leading the house band, as he often did when Weinberg took breaks from the previous show to tour with Springsteen.
• George Michael – He’s been labeled ‘The Hermit’ by his fellow prison inmates, because he remains holed up in his cell watching TV. He was jailed for 8 weeks earlier this month for possession of cannabis and driving under the influence of drugs.
• Green Day – This week only frontman Billie Joe Armstrong is appearing in the Broadway production of “American Idiot” in the role of drug dealer ‘St Jimmy’, before the band leaves for a South American tour. It’s his Broadway acting debut.
• Katy Perry – Seems she isn’t done singing with puppets. She’ll guest in a Christmas-themed episode of “The Simpsons”, appearing as herself in a live-action segment that features ‘Simpsons’ characters as puppets.
• Miranda Lambert – Tonight “CMT on Tour: Miranda Lambert Revolution” launches in NYC, with Eric Church and Josh Kelley as supporting acts. The 26-show caravan culminates at Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas on December 10th.
• Phil Collins – He’s landed his first #1 album in the UK in 12 years with his covers compilation entitled “Going Back”.
• Taylor Swift – She’s had to drop “The Best Day”, a tribute song she wrote for her mother, from her tour set list because her mom bursts into tears every time she hears it backstage.

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:
A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 92% of men say they’d date a woman who didn’t have a job.
• 67% of workers say they feel happiest when the boss is away.
• 59% of us have checked our email/texts in the bathroom.
• 30% of us can flare our nostrils.
• 26% of women have cried after getting a haircut.
• 3% of women prefer the man to order for her on a dinner date.

BS BUZZWORDS:
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Academic Forgiveness’ – An increasingly popular program whereby universities allow dropouts to erase their previous GPA and start over with a clean slate.
• ‘Lindered’ – Extremely drunk.
• ‘Stabby’ – Grumpy.

THE PLASMA DIET:
Seems like every movie and TV show’s featuring vampires these days. But could one survive by drinking only blood? Experts say an average adult would need to drink around 3 liters per day to meet their energy requirements. To avoid scurvy from lack of vitamin C, they’d have to consume 9 liters of blood a day – unless they dosed victims with lemon. The real danger, then? Salt. Human blood contains about 9 grams of salt per liter. Those 3 liters you’re drinking each day would give you around 4.5 times your daily requirement, which could lead to dehydration and kidney failure. (Plus you have to worry about dinner ‘scabbing over’ before you finish.)
– “Focus Magazine”

SCIENTISTS SAY:
A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … touching yourself provides immediate pain relief. University College London researchers have found the effect is due to the change in the way the body is represented in the brain. That’s why we instantly grab an injured finger or toe. (Oh, THAT kind of touching.)
– “The Independent”
• Scientists say … men are less likely to apologize than women. However, a University of Waterloo psychology study also finds they’re less likely to take offence and expect an apology. It seems the reason men say “I’m sorry” less frequently is they have a higher threshold for what constitutes offensive behavior. (You have to say excuse me when you fluffy?)
– “Psychological Science”
• Scientists say … the risk of Alzheimer’s rises by 30% for each hour per day of TV watched.  Case Western Reserve University researchers don’t think TV causes Alzheimer’s, it’s just another indicator of an inactive lifestyle. (And it also causes … um … er …)
– ANI Science & Health

VIRTUAL FASHION MODEL:
Estonian start-up company Fits.me has designed a mannequin that can alter its shape so that it can try on clothes for you. The design is being marketed to online clothing retailers who aren’t able to offer customers a fitting room. When a retailer signs up with Fits.me, they first send in their clothes. Each size is placed on the robot, which then cycles through all the body shapes it knows (about 2,000). A camera takes pictures of each version for an online database. So when you go online and type in your measurements, the system calls up a photo corresponding to your precise body type and clothing size. (Only prob – you always lie about your size, right?)
– “Popular Science”

‘TIME SAVERS’ THAT AREN’T:
• Packing Lunch at Home – By the time you wash all that Tupperware, spin the lettuce, portion out the protein, have you really saved any time?
• Digital Shopping Lists – Inputting items can be time-consuming and the handheld device too unwieldy to constantly handle. Odds are a good old pencil and ‘treeware’ are quicker.
• Digital Vacation-Packing Apps – Grab a suitcase and start filling it, using Post-Its to remind you what you need to add last-minute. It’s far faster than all the tapping, untapping, and retapping.
• Dishwashers – Sometimes the time needed to pre-rinse, load, and unload far exceeds what it would take to hand-wash a few dishes. Often you have to wash things with stuck-on food twice.
• Pre-Made Salads – Some bagged or boxed salad mixes carry the warning that they need to be rinsed prior to consumption, creating far more prep-time than you anticipated.
• Multi-tasking – Sometimes getting the job done right the first time before moving down your list is just more efficient, especially when it comes to issues of accuracy or safety.
• Self-Checkouts – They can often take longer than a cashier, ie: When items don’t scan properly; when the computer claims you haven’t placed something in the bag when you have; when you have to call the supervisor over to clear an item.
– Condensed from BestHealthMag.ca

MAKING MOONSHINE:
It won’t turn you into a werewolf (we don’t think), but you might find a real difference in beer brewed by the light of a Full Moon. A Belgian brewery is producing a beer called ‘Paix-Dieu’ in just that way. Roger Caulier, owner of Brewery Caulier, says a Full Moon speeds up the fermentation process, shortening it to 5 days from 7, which adds extra punch to the beer without making it harsh. Tests show fermentation is more vigorous and more active during a Full Moon, and the end product is therefore stronger, with a taste lasting longer in the mouth. The resulting beer is 10% alcohol, not unusual in Belgium. (Is beer made in Belgium Belch beer?)
– Reuters.com

WAYS TO MAKE YOUR BEDROOM A STRESS-FREE OASIS:
You spend about a third of your life in the bedroom, so why not make it a comfortable, soothing refuge? A few tips to help you transform your bedroom’s atmosphere …
• Clear the Clutter: Smooth, clean surfaces act as a balm on your brain. So put away all the clothes, and buy a bookshelf for that stack of books collecting dust.
• Fresh Flowers – A study has found that female office workers feel more relaxed when they work near a vase of flowers. Just imagine how nice it would feel to sleep near one!
• Use Essential Oils: In aromatherapy, a number of scents are recognized as particularly useful for reducing stress. Relaxing scents include lavender, lemon, orange, and sandalwood.
• Go Blue – Scientists say the color blue affects the autonomic nervous system to lower the heart rate and blood pressure, and slow breathing.
• Use Feng Shui – Practitioners of this ancient discipline recommend that you position your bed diagonally across the room from the door, with a window to your right as you lie in it.
– Adapted from RD.com

DID YOU KNOW?
About a quarter of the world still drives on the left side of the road. The countries that do so are mostly old British colonies.
– DidYouKnow.org

BS CHRONOMETER 9.29.10

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1935 [75] Jerry Lee Lewis (‘Killer’), Ferriday LA, oldies rock ‘n roll singer (“Great Balls of Fire”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1986)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (1989)

1964 [46] Tom Sizemore, Detroit MI, oft-troubled movie actor (“Saving Private Ryan”, “Black Hawk Down”)

1980 [30] Dallas Green, St Catharines ON, alt-rock singer/songwriter (Alexisonfire-“Old Crows/Young Cardinals”, City & Colour-“Bring Me Your Love”)

1987 [23] Josh Farro, Voorhees NJ, rock guitarist (Paramore-“Decode”, “Crushcrushcrush”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Michaelmas”, the feast day of St Michael the Archangel, the patron saint of exorcists. It’s also known as “Goose Day” in some places, thanks to the old English proverb which says, “If you eat goose on Michaelmas Day, you will never want money all the year round.” In the Middle Ages it celebrated the end of harvest, when laborers were paid for their work with meat, ale, fish, ale, good bread … and ale.

• “Pumpkin Day”, celebrating the orange member of the squash family best known for being carved into jack-o-lanterns or made into pie filling. It can also be boiled, sliced, fried, puréed or used in soups. The French make pumpkin jam and the Italians use it as a filling for sweet ravioli. Did you know that pumpkins are 90% water? Or that they were once recommended for removing freckles and curing snake bites?

• “Veterans of Foreign Wars Day”, honoring the 1899 establishment of the ‘VFW’ vets’ organization. For several years they seemed to be running out of potential members. Now they’re building up quite a crowd again.

• “Women’s Health & Fitness Day”, an annual observance on the last Wednesday of September to stress the importance of regular physical activity and health awareness for women.
NET: http://www.fitnessday.com/women/

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1996 [14] “Nintendo 64” videogame system is released and sells 500,000 units the first day

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1963 [47] The Rolling Stones 1st-ever tour (as opening act for Bo Diddley and the Everly Bros)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1987 [23] Compaq introduces its leading edge ‘Laptop Computer’, using an Intel 386 processor, weighing 20 lbs, and costing $10,000

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2003 [07] Adventurer David Hempleman-Adams becomes first to cross the Atlantic Ocean solo in an open wicker-basket balloon (travels from New Brunswick, Canada to England in 84 hours)

2008 [02] Following the bankruptcies of Lehman Bros and Washington Mutual, the Dow Jones Industrial Average falls 777.68 points, the largest single-day point loss in its history

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Mud Pack Day
[Thurs] Chewing Gum Day
[Thurs] Do Something Wacky with a Grandparent Day
[Fri] International Day of Older Persons
[Fri] World Vegetarian Day
This Week Is … World Dairy Week
This Month Is … Children’s Good Manners Month

BULL’S BITS

BS SIGNS YOU NEED A DENTAL APPOINTMENT:
One third of us have not seen a dentist in the past year. A few indications it may be time …
• You fit right in, sitting in the front row of a first grade class picture.
• You’ve found a piece of popcorn stuck between your teeth from when you went to the theater to see “Titanic”.
• The color chip closest to yours on the teeth whitening chart is labeled ‘burnt sienna’.
• You haven’t had a glass of ice water since April, 2004.
• You’re British.

BS PHONE STARTER:
If aliens were to arrive on Earth, who do you think should make first contact?

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS WHOSE NAMES YOU MAY NOT KNOW:
We’ll tell you the full name, you try to guess who the famous character is …
• ‘Officer Edgar Mallory’ (The policeman in “Monopoly” who sends you off to jail.)
• ‘Veritably Clean’ (Household cleaner pitchman ‘Mr Clean’.)
• ‘Nostradamus Shannon’ (Better known as ‘Bull’ on vintage TV series “Night Court”.)
• ‘Roy Hinkley’ (‘The Professor’ on classic TV show “Gilligan’s Island”.)
• ‘Ted Shackleford’ (‘The Man With the Yellow Hat’ in “Curious George” books.)
• ‘Norville Rogers’ (‘Shaggy’ of “Scooby-Doo” fame.)
• ‘John Reid’ (The true identity of “The Lone Ranger”.)
• ‘Poppin Fresh’ (Ad huckster ‘The Pillsbury Doughboy’.)
• ‘Cavity Sam’ (The patient in the classic board game “Operation”.)
– Adapted from “Mental Floss”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I can tell you’re lying. Your lips are moving.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Experts say that doing THIS has been linked with a 60% higher risk of heart problems and it’s something a lot of people are doing these days.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Working overtime. (Glamour.com)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
People don’t judge your generosity by the amount of advice you give.