Monday, September 29, 2014        Edition: #5315


Monthly Planning Calendar in Tomorrow’s “BS”!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Reports say all cellphones and tablets were banned from the weekend wedding of movie star George Clooney and Brit lawyer Amal Alamuddin in Italy. Apparently the idea was to stop any information leaking about the highly-anticipated affair as well as to stop any unauthorized photographs from being taken. The official photo rights, you see, reportedly belong to “Vogue” magazine. (Wow, much classier than Brangelina selling to “People”.)
– “Daily Telegraph”
★ Justin Bieber has been cast as the voice of “Knight Rider” car ‘KITT’ in an upcoming film called “Killing Hasselhoff”, which is about a guy who tries to win a celebrity death pool by offing ‘The Hoff’. The has-been actor and the pop star have been spotted shooting scenes for the project in Venice, California in the legendary Pontiac Firebird Trans Am from the “Knight Rider” TV series. In other news, Bieber may have an injury that requires surgery. He’s tweeted that he busted an eardrum … while cliff-diving. (So, there’s 2 more incredibly smart moves by the kid.)
– FMQB.com
★ And in case you’ve missed having Lindsay Lohan to kick around, word has it a preview of her stage debut in the London production of “Speed-the-Plow” has not gone particularly well. Her performance in David Mamet’s famed play has been ripped by those in attendance, some describing it as ‘embarrassing’ and a ‘total car crash’. Others claiming Lohan didn’t even know her lines. It would seem she only has until this Thursday to get her act together .. that’s when theatre critics will get their first look-see. (We’ll take Friday in the ‘Lindsay gets axed’ pool.)
– RadarOnline.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Kenny Chesney (“The Big Revival”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – The celebrities dance to songs from their favorite movies.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Temples (“Sun Structures”).
• “iHeartRadio Music Festival: Night 1″ (CW) – Highlights of the September 19th performances at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas NV. Taylor Swift headlines the star-studded line-up.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Hellogoodbye (“Everything Is Debatable”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Colony House (“When I Was Younger”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – R&B legend Aretha Franklin.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Bryan Adams (“Tracks of My Years”, out tomorrow).
• “Mom” (CBS/CityTV) – Anna Faris & Allison Janney return in the Season 2 debut.
• “NCIS: Los Angeles” (CBS/Global) – The 6th season premiere.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Talented vocalists from across the country perform for the coaches.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• AC/DC – They have confirmed that founding member Malcolm Young has left the band because of an undisclosed illness and is being replaced by his nephew, Stevie Young. The new album, “Rock or Bust”, will still be released in December and they’ll tour in support of it in 2015.
• Garth Brooks – Although she wasn’t introduced as his daughter, his youngest has joined him onstage as a background singer for at least one show during the “The Garth Brooks World Tour with Trisha Yearwood”. No word if 18-year-old Allie will continue to tour with her mom & pop. The trek next hits Jacksonville FL beginning October 10th.
• Hozier – The Irish singer-songwriter is in the midst of a breakthrough year, and tonight he kicks of his 1st North American headline tour in Nashville TN. It wraps with 2 SRO shows in NYC November 5-6. His self-titled debut album is due October 7th and he’ll make his “Saturday Night Live” debut on October 11th.
• Jason Aldean – His rep has confirmed that the country star is engaged to girlfriend Brittany Kerr. Aldean hit the headlines in 2012 when pictures of him kissing the former “American Idol” contestant appeared online while he was sill married to high school sweetheart Jessica Ussery. He filed for divorce in 2013, and the twosome made their red carpet debut as a couple at the CMT Music Awards in June. Word has it he popped the question at … the San Diego Zoo.
• Kanye West – It seems he has completed the follow up to “Yeezus”, having previewed the entire new album at a Paris Fashion Week party. But fellow rapper Theophilus London says ‘Ye is still tinkering with the project, already having changed it ‘a million times’.
• One Direction – Today they release “Steal My Girl”, the 1st single from their upcoming album “Four’ (out November 17th). Fans can receive an instant download of the single today if they preorder the deluxe album on iTunes. Extortion?
• Radiohead – Thom Yorke has announced that he will release a new solo album, “Tomorrow’s Modern Boxes”, via BitTorrent. It’s apparently an experiment to see if the mechanics of the system are something that the general public can get its head around. If it works well it could become a way of handing online commerce back to those creating the work.
• Rod Stewart – He’s being sued by a fan who claims his nose was broken by one of several soccer balls Stewart kicked from the stage at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas … 2 years ago. The California man is seeking $10,000 for lost wages, legal fees, and cosmetic repairs.
• The Who – The classic rockers have recorded their 1st new song in 8 years, to promote a new 50th anniversary hits compilation. “Be Lucky” will appear on the band’s upcoming 2-disc collection “The Who Hits 50!”, out October 27th.
• Yusuf Islam – The singer once known as Cat Stevens has cancelled his December gig in NYC in protest over laws that continue to allow ticket scalpers to profit from fans. Islam, who is promoting his new album “Tell ‘Em I’m Gone”, has moved the show to Philadelphia PA.

MULTI-TASKING MAKES YOU STUPID?
Research out of the UK’s University of Sussex has found that people who use more than one tech device at a time have lower grey-matter density in an area of the brain that deals with cognitive thought and emotional regulation, compared to people who only use one device at a time. However, the researchers are careful to point out that it’s as yet unclear if the media multitasking actually causes the brain changes, or just that the two are linked. Previous research has found that frequent media multitasking correlates with depression, anxiety, and low attention span. (We keep asking you: Please, put down the phone … and the tablet, for that matter.)
– PlosOne.org

COMMON PHRASES YOU’VE BEEN SAYING WRONG FOR YEARS:
✗ I’m giving you leadway. You should say: I’m giving you leeway.
✗ For all intensive purposes. You should say: for all intents and purposes.
✗ Tongue-and-cheek. You should say: tongue-in-cheek.
✗ Wreck havoc. You should say: wreak havoc.
✗ One in the same. You should say: one and the same.
✗ I could care less. You should say: I couldn’t care less.
✗ It’s a doggy-dog world. You should say: It’s a dog-eat-dog world.
✗ Nip it in the butt. You should say: Nip it in the bud.
✗ Hanging on tender hooks. You should say: hanging on tenterhooks.
✗ Don’t take me for granite. You should say: Don’t take me for granted.
– Condensed from BuzzFeed.com

THE HELMET THAT GROWS HAIR:
Chrome domes, cheer! There’s a new device that claims to use laser therapy to result in a fuller head of hair after 16-to-24 weeks of use. The bad news … it costs $695. The ‘iGrow Hair Growth System’ is intended for men whose hair-loss patterns fall into categories 2A through 5 on the Hamilton-Norwood hair-loss scale (there’s a scale?). This covers anything from a visibly receding hairline to mid-level hair loss in which a guy may have a medium-sized bald spot atop the middle of his head. The device uses non-invasive Low-Level Laser Therapy (LLLT) and claims to have no side effects. It purportedly strengthens hair follicles and generates cellular rejuvenation. That’s if you’re willing to hang around the house wearing this for months …
NET: http://tinyurl.com/kcvvexe
– RelaxNews.com

YOU PICK … GLUTEN OR WORMS?:
A new study at James Cook University in Queensland, Australia has led to a solution for people with the autoimmune disorder Celiac Disease that could eliminate their need for a gluten-free diet. That would be truly exciting except that it involves being injected … with hookworms. In experiments, trial subjects who went through the process were able to consume the equivalent of a medium-sized bowl of spaghetti with no ill effects. That’s a meal that would usually trigger a debilitating inflammatory response, leaving a Celiac patient suffering symptoms like cramps and vomiting. The researchers think a specific protein in hookworms is the reason. The challenge is now to create a powdered version of it. (If this ends the nonsensical fad for gluten-free products among non-Celiacs, all the better!)
– AFP

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• The budget for Brian de Palma’s 2000 film “Mission to Mars”: $90 million. The budget for India’s actual just-completed mission to Mars (an unmanned probe): $75 million.
– PopBitch.com
• 39.5-years-old is when women are most worried about how old they look.
– “Daily Mail”
• By 2025, Mercedes-Benz tractor-trailers barreling down the highway will drive themselves.
– Yahoo! Autos

BS CHRONOMETER 9.29.14


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [66] Bryant Gumbel, New Orleans LA, TV personality (“Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel [HBO] since 2005, “The Early Show” [CBS] 1999-2002, “Today” [NBC] 1982-97)

1964 [50] Tom Sizemore, Detroit MI, oft-troubled movie actor (“The Expendables 2″, “Saving Private Ryan”)

1973 [41] Danick Dupelle, Montréal QC, country guitarist-vocalist (Emerson Drive-”Moments”, “Fall Into Me”)

1980 [34] Dallas Green, St Catharines ON, indie-rock singer-songwriter (City & Colour-”Thirst”, “Fragile Bird”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Coffee Day”, celebrating one of the world’s favorite beverages. It’s also intended to promote fair trade coffee and to raise awareness of the plight of coffee growers.

• “Make a List Of the Top 10 Happiest Days in Your Life Day”, when we’re encouraged to jot down details … while we can still remember.

• “Michaelmas”, the feast day of St Michael the Archangel, the patron saint of exorcists. It’s also known as “Goose Day” in some places, thanks to the old English proverb which says, “If you eat goose on Michaelmas Day, you will never want money all the year round.” In the Middle Ages it celebrated the end of harvest, when laborers were paid for their work with meat, ale, fish, ale, good bread … and ale.

• “Veterans of Foreign Wars Day”, honoring the 1899 establishment of the ‘VFW’ vets’ organization. For several years they seemed to be running out of potential members. Now they’re building up quite a crowd again.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2001 [13] Jennifer Lopez marries her 2nd husband, Chris Judd, in Los Angeles (they separate 8 months later)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1963 [51] Rolling Stones open their 1st-ever tour, in London (as opening act for Bo Diddley and the Everly Bros)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1987 [27] Compaq introduces its leading edge ‘Laptop Computer’, using an Intel 386 processor, weighing 20 lbs, and costing $10,000

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2008 [06] Following the bankruptcies of Lehman Bros and Washington Mutual, the Dow Jones Industrial Average falls 777.68 points, the largest single-day point-loss in its history

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Ask a Stupid Question Day
[Tues] Blasphemy Day
[Tues] International Translation Day
[Wed] World Vegetarian Day
[Wed] Walk Your Dog Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Banned Books Week / Chimney Safety Week / Deaf Awareness Week / Dog Week / Keep Kids Creative Week / Sea Otter Awareness Week / World Hearing Aid Awareness Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 21 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS SIGNS YOU LIVE IN A REALLY SMALL TOWN:
• You have an argument with your wife, and the following Tuesday the City Council passes an ordinance taking her side.
• The City Limits signs are both on the same post.
• The Fire Department keeps borrowing your soda spritzer.
• You can charge things at the store ‘to my dad’ and nobody has to ask his name.
• Being called for jury duty every week starts to wear thin.
• 3rd Street is on the edge of town.
• To fill out this year’s varsity football squad, coach had to father 3 more children.
• There are only 11 Starbucks.
• The New Year’s baby was born in October.
– First published in “BS” 1997.

LEAST POPULAR NEW CAR OPTIONS:
• Rear window fogger.
• Passenger airbag in trunk.
• Hyper-heated steering wheel.
• Drifter in the back who says, “Your door is open.”
• Hydraulic roadkill scoop.
• Backseat GPS by mother-in-law.
• Digital armrests.
• Intermittent brakes.
• Ceiling fan.
– First published in “BS” 2011.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Several videos of an iPhone 6 Plus being bent by bare hands have popped up online since the pricey device’s September 19th release. But Apple claims that only 9 customers have contacted the company about phones getting bent out of shape. How’s yours holding up?

BS WEB GOODIE:
New Zealand’s tongue-in-cheek Civilian Party got 187 votes in this month’s election. That’s actually pretty amazing seeing as they were running on a platform of reducing child poverty by giving each child a llama. Another campaign promise: ice cream. Their full policies list here ….
NET: http://thecivilianparty.org.nz/full-policy-list/

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which airport had the world’s first duty-free shopping?
a. Shannon … County Clare, Ireland. [CORRECT. It began duty-free sales in 1951.]
b. O’Hare … Chicago IL.
c. Schiphol … Amsterdam, The Netherlands.
– Irish Tourist Board

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I either want less corruption or more chances to participate in it.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: You see THESE all of the time. It’s estimated an average one weighs between 500 and 550 tons.
Answer: Clouds.
– MentalFloss.com

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

BS FRESH MEAT:
Eric Clark @ 101.1 Moose FM [CKFU] Fort St John BC; Jon Lurie @ The Wire [WYRE] St Augustine FL; Trevor Stoyko @ 96.1 Bob FM [CKX] Brandon MB; and Igor Maleš @ Radio 505, Belgrade, Serbia.

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
“The Bull Sheet” will be on hiatus October 6-17 inclusive. All subscribers will receive account credits for missed issues.


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