Thursday, September 3, 2015        Edition: #5530

If the Sheet Fits, Buy It!

★ If you’re late to the “Empire” TV sensation and need to brush up for Season 2, then cancel all other Labor Day plans. FOX-TV has announced that the entire 1st season of the hit show will air on Monday starting at noon ET/PT. It will run through 11 pm ET/PT. Even if you have designs on hitting the beach or leaving the house, “Empire’s” addictive soapiness might prevent you from doing so. And you don’t want to anger ‘Cookie’.
★ Producers have dismissed reports suggesting Terrence Howard’s role on “Empire” will be scaled back in Season 2 due to his recent personal issues. Tabloid reports have suggested the actor would be appearing less due to his character’s jail sentence for murder, as well as his recent real-life divorce settlement case. A rep for the show says the rumors are patently untrue, as audiences will witness when the series returns September 23rd on FOX-TV.
– “Access Hollywood”
★ In April 2014, Miley Cyrus was left devastated when her beloved pet dog Floyd was killed by coyotes, but in a new interview the 22-year-old says: ”This is going to sound crazy, but a Chinese healer sent me into a state where my dog was lifted out of my lungs and placed on my shoulder.” She claims she then had the chance to ”pet him for 3 hours” and she believes her pooch’s ”energy” then transferred to her friend and collaborator Wayne Coyne of Flaming Lips. Wow, good dope.

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – The Word (“The Word”). Rerun.
• “Fresh Dressed” (CNN) – Debut of a new documentary by Sacha Jenkins that chronicles the rise of hip hop and urban fashion, basically a fun look at the convergence of music and clothes.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Faith No More (“Sol Invictus”).
• “Mistresses” (ABC) – The Season 3 finalé.
• “Queen Latifah” (syndicated) – Jon Secada (“I’m Never Too Far Away”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Brad Paisley (“Moonshine In the Trunk”); Joe Bonamassa (“Different Shades of Blue”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Kacey Musgraves (“Pageant Material”). Rerun.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Ricky Martin (“A Quien Quiera Escucha”). Rerun.

• Chris Brown – He and Fiesta Nightclub in San Jose CA are being sued for alleged negligence by a party-goer who was shot at the end of Brown’s performance there in January. The lawsuit claims they ”failed to provide adequate security”. A total of 5 people were shot and injured.
• Ed Sheeran – Tonight the 2nd leg of his North American tour gets underway in Houston TX. The month-long trek includes some of the singer/songwriter’s biggest headlining shows in North America to date. Christina Perri (“Head or Heart”) has been added as the opening act.
• Neil Young – Among the $20 million-plus properties currently for sale in Hawaii is his Waialea Bay 5-bedroom property, listed at $24.5 million. According to “LA Times”, it includes 830 feet of ocean frontage on the Kohala Coast near a world-class surf spot and white sandy beaches.
• One Direction – The hiatus-bound pop stars will be in the new “Guinness World Records” (out September 10th) … 6 times. Among their achievements: First group to debut at #1 with their first 4 albums in the US; first UK group to debut at #1 in US with debut album; most followers on Twitter for a music group (23 million+); most views for a band on YouTube (almost 37 million).
• Rick Ross – Today his new album, “Black Dollar”, is released, the follow-up to 2014’s “Hood Billionaire”. The lead track “Foreclosures” has already become available.
• Rihanna – this week she launched her new fragrance called Ri Ri at Macy’s in Brooklyn NY. It’s the first of a new trilogy of fragrances. She’s had more than a half-dozen others in the past. She says her latest scent is intended “to make you feel young, flirty … you know, cute.”
• Sam Smith – The 23-year-old Grammy Award-winning singer is currently working on his sophomore album following the success of his 2014 debut “In the Lonely Hour”. He says his ultimate aim is to create a body of work that resembles a series of ”romantic novels”.
• U2 – Contrary to recent reports, Bono is NOT a billionaire, according to “Forbes” magazine, but he’s still pretty rich and it’s partly due to his investment in Facebook. U2 still counts as one of the world’s highest-paid bands, having earned nearly $500 million in the last 10 years.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “American Saturday Night: Live From the Grand Ole Opry” – Country stars The Band Perry, Blake Shelton, Brett Eldredge, Brad Paisley, and Darius Rucker hit the iconic Opry stage in Nashville TN this week to shoot their performances for this film about the legendary country music Mecca. The concert film hits movie theaters this December.
• “Bad Boys 3” – Will Smith has long hoped to reunite with Martin Lawrence to reprise their roles as Miami FL police detectives, but insisted they’d only do it if they had a good storyline. A recently reworked script has led Sony Pictures to move into the next stage of development and  schedule a 2017 release. The original 1995 action comedy already spawned a sequel in 2003.
• “Dogg Pound 4 Life” – Dr Dre’s aspiring actor-son Curtis Young plays his dad in this new film documenting the rise of Snoop Dogg and his collaborators Kurupt, Daz Dillinger, Nate Dogg and Warren G. The movie is NOT  a followup to “Straight Outta Compton”, as some reports have suggested, but rather a stand-alone project. It’s currently seeking funding and a director.
• “Rebel In the Rye” – Actor Nicholas Hoult (“Mad Max: Fury Road”) plays reclusive author JD Salinger (“Catcher In the Rye”) in this biographical drama. Written and directed by Danny Strong (FOX-TV’s “Empire”), the film is based on Kenneth Slawenski’s 2011 biography “JD Salinger: A Life”. Salinger, who died in 2010, refused all film adaptations after 1949.
• Untitled ‘Bourne’ Sequel – Vincent Cassel, the French actor who battled Matt Damon in 2007’s “Ocean’s 13”, will be up against the movie star again in the next ‘Jason Bourne’ film. Cassel will portray an assassin who is tracking ‘Bourne’. Also in the cast: Julia Stiles, Alicia Vikander, and Tommy Lee Jones. Production is scheduled to begin later this month.

“Consumer Reports”, known for pulling no punches when it come to auto reviews, has singled out 4 car models as representing the worst of the lot for 2015 …
• Chrysler 200 – Now dead last among mid-size car rankings, thanks to a ‘raspy’ 4-cylinder engine, ‘balky’ transmission, and ‘klutzy’ handling.
• Kia Sedona – This minivan is made to look like a SUV, but the ride isn’t ‘supple’ and there are squeaks and rattles. Steering is ‘vague’.
• Land Rover Discovery Sport – This SUV has a ‘flat-footed’ engine and a transmission that’s ‘unrefined’. Handling is ‘lumbering’, and the entertainment system seems from another age.
• Lexus NX 200t/300h – The new compact SUV is comparable to a less expensive Toyota RAV4, especially the ‘jostling’ ride. Some components feel ‘cheap’.
(Sheesh, how’d you like these people doing your job performance review?)

Ever since social psychologist Paul Piff published his findings on the narcissism and insensitivity of the very rich, it’s a given that money can create what’s known as ‘the a–hole effect’. Even pretending to be very rich can lead to this sort of bad behavior. Piff’s theory is straightforward: As people get richer, they feel themselves to be somehow more deserving in life, and they become more likely to cheat or exploit others. That is, they become tools. Among his findings …
✓ The rich are way more likely to prioritize their own self-interests above the interests of others.
✓ Living high on the socio-economic ladder can dehumanize people. It can make them less ethical, more selfish, more insular, and less compassionate than other people.
✓ A recent study finds that 90% of California drivers stop for pedestrians at crosswalks as required … except for those driving luxury cars. They’re almost as likely to run the intersection as wait for a pedestrian to cross the street.
✓ Drivers of those BMWs, Porsches, and Mercedes are also shown to be anywhere from 3-to-4 times more likely to break the law in general than drivers of less expensive, low-status cars.
(The reason more Bimmers get ‘keyed’ than Fords.)
– Adapted from PostMedia Network

Taking a midday nap is good for the heart, according to a new Greek study. Researchers examined about 400 people with hypertension, measuring their blood pressure and their time spent sleeping during the day. Those who took noontime naps had lower blood pressure and took fewer hypertension medications than those who didn’t nap, and the results were especially positive for those who took hour-long or longer siestas. This study doesn’t necessarily show that napping in itself lowers blood pressure, researchers say. It’s possible that people who make room for some midday shuteye also happen to live more balanced, less stressed lives. (We say it’s an art-form.)
– “The Telegraph”

This week the US Open tennis championships are being served up. So why is it that the game of tennis uses scores of 15 , 30 , and 40  instead of 1, 2, and 3 points? Tennis was first played in its current form indoors and scores were kept by moving the hands of a clock to the positions of 15, 30, and 45. For some obscure reason, 45  evolved into 40 . The term ‘love’ for a score of zero comes from the French word for egg – l‘oeuf [loof]. The term ‘deuce’ for a tie score is from the French word deux [dou], meaning two or together. Nobody wants to be ‘bageled’ in tennis. That means you lost a set 0-6, the most lopsided way to lose. (The game originated in France, hence a lot of food terms.)

Seen a lot of creepy crawlers around the house lately? That’s because female spiders fatten up toward the end of Summer as they prepare to lay eggs, anywhere from 50-to-1,000 each. Some females can double in size, making them much easier to spot. What’s really creepy is they were there all along … you just don’t notice them when they were small and rolled up in a ball. The rule of thumb, according to entomologists, is no one anywhere is ever more than 1 meter (3.3 feet) away from a spider. (What’s that look of panic in your eyes?)
– Sourced from “Globe & Mail”

More than 100 billion-billion Earth-like planets might exist. (Great, you count ’em.)


1965 [50] Charlie Sheen (Carlos Estevez), NYC, TV actor (“Anger Management” since 2012, “Two & a Half Men” 2003-11)/movie actor (“Scary Movie 5”, “Platoon”)/actor Martin Sheen’s son

1975 [40] Redfoo (Stefan Gordy), LA CA, pop singer-DJ-rapper (LMFAO-“Sexy & I Know It”, “Party Rock Anthem”)

1979 [36] Tomo Miličević, Sarajevo, Bosnia & Herzegovina, alt-rock guitarist (30 Seconds to Mars-“This Is War”, “Kings & Queens”)

1986 [29] Shaun White, San Diego CA, snowboarder/skateboarder (2 Olympic Golds, 13 Winter X Games Golds, 2 X Games Golds, 10 ESPY Awards)

• “National Flag Day” in Australia, honoring the country’s national pennant picked in 1901.

• “Skyscraper Day”, a day to appreciate and admire the world’s tallest buildings. By definition, a skyscraper is any structure that clearly stands out above its surrounding environment. A loose agreement in North America & Europe puts the lower limit of a skyscraper at 150 meters (500 ft). A skyscraper taller than 300 meters (984 ft) is referred to as ‘supertall’.
5. CTF Finance Centre (Guangzhou, China) … 530 m (1,740 ft)
4. One World Trade Center (NYC, USA) … 541.3 m (1,776 ft)
3. Abraj Al-Bait Clock Tower (Mecca, Saudi Arabia) … 601 m (1,971 ft)
2. Shanghai Tower (Shanghai, China) … 632 m (2,073 ft)
1. Burj Dubai (Dubai UAE) … 818 m (2,684 ft)

• “Welsh Rarebit Day”, saluting the traditional dish that, explained simply, is melted cheese on bread. But anyone who’s had it knows it’s far more exotic than that, incorporating butter, flour, cheddar, dry mustard, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco sauce, and – optionally – beer.

• “Wilderness Day”, celebrating the unspoiled areas left to nature that are becoming fewer and farther between.

1966 [49] TV show “Star Trek” debuts with a private showing at the “World Science Fiction Convention” in Cleveland, Ohio (attended by the first ‘geeks’)

2002 [13] “Licks”, The Rolling Stones’ 40th anniversary world tour, kicks off in Boston MA

2009 [06] A private funeral for Michael Jackson is held at the Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, California more than 2 months after his sudden death on June 25th

1895 [120] 1st ‘professional football game’ (Latrobe, Pennsylvania YMCA beats Jeannette Athletic Club 12-0)

1970 [45] ‘Largest hailstone’ lands in Kansas … 17.5 inches in diameter

[Fri] “Before We Go”; “The Transporter Refueled” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Lazy Moms Day
[Sat] Be Late For Something Day
[Sat] International Day of Charity
[Sun] Read a Book Day
[Mon] Labor Day (Canada, USA)
[Mon] Salami Day
This Week Is … Emergency Care Week
This Month Is … Be Kind to Editors & Writers Month


✓ No more excessive, gross sweat.
✓ No longer must we face the horrors of sunburn and heatstroke.
✓ Say goodbye to lying in dirty, itchy sand and the pressure of being ‘beach body ready’.
✓ No more weddings … every … single … weekend.
✓ So long, hay fever!
✓ Adios, insect bites!
✓ It’ll soon be perfectly acceptable to stay in and do nothing.
✓ Look forward to layering clothes. Flattering, comfy, and creates the illusion of loads of effort.
✓ It’s almost time for snuggling up in cozy blankets with delicious hot drinks.
✓ All the best food is ‘Winter Food’.
– Adapted from

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, dead.

“You suck!” is so passé. Want a new heckle to take to the stadium? Try the ‘Heckle Depot’ …

☎ Who was the smartest person in your school class? What are they doing now?

According to a poll, 85% of people who buy which of the following NEVER use them?
a. Pianos. [CORRECT]
b. Boats.
c. Hot tubs.

Question: If this is an average day, you’ll do THIS more than 20 times.
Answer: Complain.

In an underdeveloped country don’t drink the water. In a developed country don’t breathe the air.

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