Tuesday, September 5, 2017        Edition: #6048

Get Sheet-Faced Every Morning!

★ Angelina Jolie admits that with the recent turmoil in her life, she is not enjoying the promotional rounds for her most recent film, ‘First They Killed My Father’.  In an interview, she said “This is the first time I have done this for a long time. It’s not easy I am a little shy this time, because I am not as strong inside as I have been in the past.”  She went on to say that she does not enjoy being single, and with some recent health issues as well, “It’s been difficult… there’s nothing nice about it. It’s just hard”.
★ George Clooney has hailed Matt Damon as the ”greatest actor” he has ever worked with. Clooney praised his ‘Ocean’s Eleven’ co-star as being the most talented actor he has worked with and even seen in his entire life.  George said that he has racked his brain to think of a star better than Matt, but he can’t.   Clooney directs Damon in the crime film ‘Suburbicon’, out next month.
(Why do I get the feeling these comments were the result of a drunken bet between these two?)
★ Drew Barrymore is developing a new female-friendly horror series with longtime production partner Nancy Juvonen. The ‘Black Rose Anthology’ series will boast an all-women team. The one-hour series will feature classic horror themes interwoven with issues including jealousy, repression, and guilt shown through a woman’s eye. It will air on America’s CW network.
★ Steve Harvey is making no apologies for that leaked memo in which he told employees not to speak to or approach him because he needed “more free time for me.” Harvey does admit, though, that one thing that he did learn was that he has “no business sending out memos.”  He blames the incident on a disgruntled employee. Harvey was slammed after the “No Pop-Ins Memo,” an e-mail to the staff of his daytime talk show, was leaked to the media.
★ Jennifer Garner has joined Instagram, years after insisting she had no interest in the social media site. “I am officially on Instagram!,” she wrote in, yes, her first Instagram post.  Garner went on to say,  “So, please follow me because isn’t that how this works…?” In 2014, Jen said she had no desire to be on Instagram because she didn’t know if she had anything interesting enough to share with fans.
(It hasn’t seemed to stop the Kardashians!)
★ Bindi Irwin will be ”forever thankful” for the values she was taught by her late father Steve Irwin. The 19-year-old took to Instagram on Sunday to celebrate the Australian version of Father’s Day, and posted a touching video in memory of the late conservationist who tragically died in 2006 at the age of 44, after he was pierced in the chest by a stingray while filming a nature documentary.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Steve Harvey, Bill Skarsgard, Anderson East
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Sarah Paulson, Tig Notaro, Luis Fonsi
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Maggie Gyllenhaal, Graham Norton, Lukas Nelson & Promise of the Real
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jake Tapper, Gwendoline Christie, Gary Clark Jr.
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Kathy Bates, Ed Helms
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Halle Berry, Channing Tatum, Jeff Bridges, Pedro Pascal, Taron Egerton, Colin Firth ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Season 21 premiere
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Sam Heughan, Henrik Lundqvist, Jonathan & Drew Scott
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg
• “Bachelor in Paradise” (ABC): A new arrival doubles her odds; Chris Harrison reveals it’s everyone’s last day.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): “Live Show 4” The semifinals begin at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles.
• “Hollywood Game Night” (NBC): Celebrities include Nancy Grace, Tyson Beckford, RuPaul, Weird Al Yankovic, and Daymond John.
• “American Horror Story: Cult” (FX): Season 7 Premiere. A political-themed seventh season adds Lena Dunham, Billy Eichner, Billie Lourd, and Colton Haynes to returning players such as Sarah Paulson, Evan Peters, Frances Conroy, and Mare Winningham.

• Steely Dan – guitarist Walter Becker died Sunday at 67.  No cause of death has been announced.   Becker missed Steely Dan’s Classic East and West concerts in July to recover from an unspecified ailment.  A few Steely Dan Fast Facts:
○ The legend is true.  The group took their name from a sex toy in the William S. Burroughs novel ‘Naked Lunch’ after they were told by management to come up with a name “by the end of the day”.
○ Band leaders Donald Fagen and Becker were jazz fans who had no use for rock until they heard the Beatles. For Fagen, it was ‘Ticket to Ride’; for Becker, ‘No Reply.’
○ Comedian Chevy Chase attended college with Becker and Fagen, and played drums in their early band, the ‘Leather Canary’.
○ Jeff Porcaro was a drummer for Steely Dan, and later left to form Toto. Michael McDonald was a keyboard player and did background vocals, and later he and Steely Dan guitarist Jeff ‘Skunk’ Baxter joined the Doobie Brothers.
○ They were inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame in 2001.
○ Becker and Fagen initially rejected Kanye West’s request to sample ‘Kid Charlemagne’ for his song ‘Champion’. After West sent a heartfelt letter saying that the song was written about his feelings for his father, they decided to allow it.

• Molly Hatchet – co-founder and lead guitarist Dave Hlubek died Sunday at the age of 66, the band has announced.  No other details have been given.  Molly Hatchet is best known for the 1979 rock hit ‘Flirtin’ With Disaster’.
• Taylor Swift – served as bridesmaid at her BFF Abigail Anderson’s wedding on Saturday in Martha’s Vineyard, Mass. Anderson is name-checked in the song ‘Fifteen’ from the 2008 album ‘Fearless’: “You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail/ And soon enough you’re best friends…”
• Chance the Rapper – has announced the first-ever ‘Twilight Awards’, which will honor “teachers, parents, principals, and students that convey leadership”.  The event, which will be hosted by James Corden, is scheduled to take place in June 2018.
• Madonna – has shared a drawing to announce she’s moved to Portugal, and is working on new music and a movie called ‘Loved’. Quote: “It’s time to conquer the world from a different vantage point”.
• Robbie Williams – has reportedly settled his feud with Jimmy Page. The two had been at odds since Robbie and his family moved into a home near Page in West London, and began a large scale building project which annoyed the rocker.
• Nicole Scherzinger – says social media is ”really important” for celebrities.  The former Pussycat Doll has said in the past that social media can be detrimental, but now admits that it offers a ”great way” to connect with fans, but warns that celebs need to set boundaries and be aware of how they represent themselves online. She admits that she wishes she was better at using the apps herself.
• Prince – his favorite color wasn’t purple, according to his sister.  Tyka Nelson says that his favorite color was actually orange.  (‘Orange Rain’ just doesn’t have that ring to it, does it?)
• Dave Grohl – says he learned to play guitar thanks to The Beatles, and honed his drumming skills because he wanted to be as good as Led Zeppelin’s John Bonham. He was given a Beatles’ greatest hits collection and a book of their music by his mother when he was young, and learned by playing along with their songs.
• KISS – Vinnie Vincent will be making an appearance at a KISS fan Expo.  In a note to fans, the reclusive former KISS guitarist wrote that he is excited to meet with fans at the Atlanta KISS Expo on January 20.  Vincent and the band have had a rocky relationship for many years.
• Rascal Flatts – will kick off their newest Las Vegas residency, ‘Rascal Flatts — A Night to Shine’, on Oct. 6 at the Venetian. This will be their third time playing a series of shows in Sin City.
• Aaron Lewis – is among 12 additional artists announced to perform at the 18th Annual AMERICANAFEST Americana Music Festival & Conference, which runs from Sept. 12-17 in Nashville.  Others include Wynonna and the Big Noise, The Lumineers, Joe Henry, and Ray Wylie Hubbard

Get ‘em wherever you get your movies…
•  “All Eyez on Me” (R-Rated, Drama):  Tells the true and untold story of prolific rapper, actor, poet and activist Tupac Shakur. (Demetrius Shipp Jr., Danai Gurira, Kat Graham)
• “Megan Leavey” (PG-13, Drama):  Based on the true life story of a young Marine corporal whose unique discipline and bond with her military combat dog saved many lives during their deployment in Iraq. (Kate Mara, Ramon Rodriguez, Tom Felton)
• “Band Aid” (Not Rated, Comedy):  A couple who can’t stop fighting embark on a last-ditch effort to save their marriage: turning their fights into songs and starting a band. (Zoe Lister-Jones, Adam Pally, Fred Armisen)
• “Queen of the Desert” (PG-13, Drama):  A chronicle of Gertrude Bell’s life, a traveler, writer, archaeologist, explorer, cartographer, and political attaché for the British Empire at the dawn of the twentieth century. (Nicole Kidman, James Franco, Damian Lewis)
• “The Last Face” (R-Rated, Drama/Romance):  A director  of an international aid agency in Africa meets a relief aid doctor amidst a political/social revolution, and together they face tough choices surrounding humanitarianism and life through civil unrest. (Charlize Theron, Javier Bardem)

Scientists say that worrying can actually be helpful.  A University of California study found that worry motivates us to take healthy actions, like wearing sunscreen or exercising more.  Worrying also prepares us for negative outcomes, and serves to make us all the more happy when our worst fears DON’T come to pass.
(Prepares us for negative outcomes?  Great, so when I can’t fall asleep, at least I’m accomplishing SOMETHING!)
(If I didn’t have anything to worry about, I’d be worried about that!)
(The only thing I’m, worried about is that now that stupid ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ song is going to be stuck in my head for 3 days!)

✈ The seats by the window are colder:  The external cold of -65°С can cool the fuselage, especially near the windows.  This is noticed most often during summer when most people wear light clothing.
✈ The folding tables and seat pockets are some of the dirtiest parts of the plane:   The seat pockets aren’t cleaned anywhere near as thoroughly as you would expect.  And when it comes to the fold-down tables: air cabin crew admit that people often use them to change their baby’s diaper.  (Even still, my guess would be that the restrooms are dirtier!)
✈ Avoid drinking coffee or tea: The drinking water used to prepare hot beverages onboard can contain bacteria such as E. coli and Staph, according to more than one study.  Go for bottled water or fruit juice.  (What did they do, pour the water over the trays?)  (I’m trusting that the vodka in my vodka and water will take care of any germs!)
✈ The service is better when you sit in the rear rows: In the back, you can count on getting more attentive service from the cabin crew. This is the result of the fact that it’s easier to bring additional food and other things to the final rows of seats and to do so in a way that goes unnoticed by other passengers, allowing the crew to avoid additional requests up and down the airplane.  (Great.  Extra airplane food.)
✈ Don’t fully blow up your neck cushion: Remember the laws of physics. If you fill it completely with air, due to changes in pressure in the cabin, it might burst. So leave it slightly deflated.  (Shouldn’t they be telling us this?)
✈ Pick food from the special menu: There are now vegetarian, seafood, halal, kosher and other special menu items.  Even if you have no particular preference, many people recommend going for one of the special meal choices as they are often tastier and more varied than the standard ones.  (But they still haven’t perfected take-out…)
✈ The best time for a flight is in the morning: First of all, there is a much smaller chance that it will be delayed. And if you have a fear of flying, specialists claim that the early hours are subject to a reduced degree of turbulence.  (I don’t have a fear of flying.  I have a fear of crashing!)

1929 [88] Bob Newhart, Oak Park IL, comedian/TV actor (“The Bob Newhart Show”, “Newhart” “The Big Bang Theory” 2013-2015)

1951 [66] Michael Keaton (Douglas), Coraopolis PA, movie actor (“Batman”, “Birdman”, “Spider-Man: Homecoming ”) COMING UP…“American Assassin” (2017)

1968 [49] Brad Wilk, Portland OR, rock drummer (Rage Against the Machine-“Killing in the Name”, Audioslave-“Be Yourself”)

1973 [44] Rose McGowan, Certaldo, Italy, movie actress (“Machete”, “The Black Dahlia”)/TV actress (‘Josie Acosta’ on “Chosen” 2013-14, “Charmed” 2001-06)

1976 [41] Carice Van Houten, Leiderdorp, The Netherlands, TV actress (‘Melisandre of Asshai’ on “Game of Thrones” since 2012)

1989 [28] Kat Graham, Geneva, Switzerland, TV actress (‘Bonnie Bennett’ on “The Vampire Diaries” 2009-2017)

• “Be Late For Something Day”, sponsored by the Procrastinators’ Club, a day to delay anything you can. So maybe celebrate this tomorrow?

• “Cheese Pizza Day”, saluting the favorite order of cheapskates everywhere.

• “Another Look Unlimited Day”, always the day after Labour Day, devoted annually to lessening the flow to landfills, and is reserved for taking a second look around your house, attic, basement, garage or any storage area where you may find possessions you no longer need.  (And doing what?  Taking them to the landfill?)

• “International Day of Charity”, observed annually on September 5th and first declared by the United Nations General Assembly in 2012.

This Week Is…National Waffle Week
This Month Is…Baby Safety Month

2006 [11] Katie Couric debuts on the “CBS Evening News”, becoming the 1st female solo anchor of a major evening network TV newscast (Couric earns $15 million per year through 2011, a salary that makes her the highest paid journalist in the world)

2014 [03] Apple Inc announces new security measures after hackers gain access to celebrity iCloud accounts, ie: Jennifer Lawrence’s (Apple denies iCloud security compromises, claiming hackers used ‘other methods’ to gain entry)

1964 [53] The Animals’ rendition of ‘The House Of the Rising Sun’ reaches #1 on pop charts (Bob Dylan, who first recorded the traditional folk song in 1962 is said to ‘jump out of his car seat’ with enthusiasm when he first hears it on the radio)


✓ Before the school calendar became national, students in rural areas went from December to March and May to August so kids could be home for spring planting and fall harvesting.  In urban centers, kids were given the hot summer off to prevent the spread of disease.
✓ The crayon ranks #18 on the list of most recognizable scents, according to a Yale study.
✓ The average classroom pencil can write 45,000 words…or draw a line 56 kilometers long.
✓ In Chile, students are given 12 weeks off from mid-December to early March.  German children?  Just 6 weeks.
✓ The biggest school in the world is in Lucknow, India, with more than 32,000 students
✓ ‘Didaskaleinophobia’ is the fear of going to school.  2.4% of school-aged children are considered to have it.

• After confirming everyone’s names on the roll, thank the class for attending ‘Advanced Astrodynamics 690′ and mention that yesterday was the last day to drop the course.
• Pick out random students, ask them questions, and time their responses with a stopwatch. Record their times in your grade book while muttering “tsk, tsk”.
• Sprint from the room in a panic if you hear sirens outside.
• Announce to students that their entire grade will be based on a single-question oral final exam. Imply that this could happen at any moment.
• Announce that last year’s students have almost finished their class projects.
• Warn students that they should bring a bagged lunch to exams.
• Begin class by smashing the neck off a bottle of vodka, and announce that the lecture’s over when the bottle’s done.
-First published in BS in 2014

The human brain is special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn’t stop until you get to school.

Question:  According to drivers, What is the #1 annoyance when it comes to their morning commute?
Answer: Getting stuck behind a school bus.

In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.

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