Tuesday, September 7, 2010 Edition: #4337
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• Reports suggest actor/director Sylvester Stallone (“The Expendables”), former US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, and actor/comedian Tim Allen are among those who’ve turned down the chance to appear on “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC). What’s more intriguing is that actress Melanie Griffith (Mrs Antonio Banderas) has been snubbed … again. An insider says she’s been trying – and failing – to land a spot on the show for years. (Likely because they’d need a wide-angle lens to get her duck lips on-camera.)
– “Hollywood Reporter”
• As part of a new Nokia promotion, 43-year-old sorta-actress Pamela Anderson has agreed to be filmed frolicking in bed with the winner of the phone firm’s latest contest. The short movie, called “The Commuter”, is to be shot in hi-def on the new ‘N8’ mobile to illustrate its ‘Hollywood-quality video’. (What a breeze job! Pam gets paid for doing what she does in real life … sleep with strangers.)
– WENN.com
• Famous folks David & Victoria Beckham are reportedly taking steps to make their move to the US even more permanent, putting their luxurious English property in Sawbridgeworth, Hertfordshire on the market for an estimated $27 million. The Beckhams purchased the estate for $3.8 million in 1999 and the lavish mansion quickly became known in the UK press as ‘Beckingham Palace’. (700% profit? Nice real estate market!)
– “Sunday Mirror”
• Famous person Lindsay Lohan reportedly has ‘multiple offers’ for her first TV interview since getting out of jail/rehab, and one of her biggest suitors is said to be “Today” (NBC). A source at the Peacock network confirms that they are ‘actively’ trying to sign her. Maybe now she can clear up once and for all just how many times she’s gone into rehab? (Once again, the media enables her irresponsible behavior.)
– TMZ.com
• And reality TV ‘star’ Spencer Pratt is facing another sex tape controversy. “Playboy” Playmate Karissa Shannon is threatening to sue over an explicit video he allegedly stole from her home. Her lawyer has sent a letter promising a lawsuit unless he returns the ‘private materials’ involving the glamour model and her boyfriend Sam Jones. (Has the road to fame ever been smarmier?)
– ContactMusic.com

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC) – The top 10 acts perform in hopes of making the Final Four; Enrique Iglesias (“I Like It”) performs.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Scissor Sisters (“Night Work”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Morning Benders (“Big Echo”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Robert Randolph & The Family Band (“We Walk This Road”).

• BTO – Newly reunited after 20 years, Randy Bachman & Fred Turner release a new self-titled album today, with a world tour to follow.
• Eminem – He tells “Vibe” magazine he won’t be taking any more shots at rumored ex-girlfriend Mariah Carey in his songs because he’s ‘done’ with the topic and doesn’t want to keep ‘beating a dead horse’. (Ouch! C’mon, she’s lost a bit of weight lately.)
• Interpol – Today they release their new self-titled album, featuring new recruits David Pajo on bass and Brandon Curtis on keyboards.
• Kanye West – He’s offered another apology to Taylor Swift for ruining her acceptance speech at last year’s “MTV Video Music Awards” and says he’s written a song especially for her. And if
she won’t take it, he says he’ll perform it for her. (Perhaps at this year’s awards?)
• Lady Gaga – A longtime friend says her down-to-Earth nature suddenly changed when she became famous and she now always refers to herself in the 3rd-person. (“Fame Monster” indeed.)
• Lil Wayne – Latanya Brown, a guard captain at NYC’s tough Rikers Island prison, is under investigation for allegedly ‘spending time’ with the incarcerated rapper and granting him ‘special privileges’. (This is why you shouldn’t have someone named ‘Latanya’ working at a men’s prison.)
• Rolling Stones – In her upcoming autobiography, “My Life in Pictures”, Mick Jagger’s ex, Jerry Hall, claims their relationship was doomed early on because Mick was a ‘sexual predator’ who replaced drug addiction with sex addiction and ‘could not help indulging himself with other women’. (BS translation: He was a rock star.)
• Snoop Dogg – He tells “OK!” magazine that Katy Perry will return the favor for his appearance on “California Gurls” by doing a cameo on his next album, which he’s planning as a sequel to his 1993 debut effort, “Doggystyle”.
• Wyclef Jean – Friday night he took advantage of a NYC concert appearance to blast former Fugees bandmate Pras and actor Sean Penn for diminishing his bid to become Haitian president. (Maybe next time you wanna run for office, you’ll read the rules first?)

• “Killers” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Katherine Heigl & Ashton Kutcher star as the seemingly perfect suburban married couple, until she learns he’s not only an undercover assassin but a target worth millions to fellow assassins who’ve been trailing them.
• “MacGruber” ( R-Rated Action Comedy ): “Saturday Night Live’s” Will Forte brings his clueless soldier-of-fortune character to the bigscreen. This time he’s called into action to take down his archenemy, ‘Dieter Von Cunth’ (Val Kilmer), who’s bent on nuking Washington DC.
• “Solitary Man” ( R-Rated Drama ): Michael Douglas stars as a car magnate who watches his personal and professional life hit the skids because of his business and romantic indiscretions. Co-stars Susan Sarandon, Danny Devito, Mary-Louis Parker, and Jenna Fischer.
• Also released today: “Blood Into Wine” (Documentary); “Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam” (Family Musical); “Chuck: The Complete 3rd Season” (TV); “Criminal Minds: 5 Season Pack” (TV); “Dirty Jobs Collection 6” (Documentary); “The Office: Season 6” (TV); “Paranormal: Haunts & Horrors” (Documentary); “Prime Suspect: The Complete Collection” (UK TV); “Smallville: The Complete 9th Season” (TV); and “Supernatural: The Complete 5th Season” (TV).

• Add Towel Space – You can maximize the space in a small bathroom by standing a coat rack in the corner. It’s perfect for hanging towels and bathrobes without taking up much horizontal space. Plus, your items will dry quickly.
• Help Kids Hang Up Coats – Your little ones may be staging a coat-hanging strike because the hangars are too high. Install a second coat rack below the main one in the front-hall closet, with easy to reach hooks.
• Extra Clothes Storage – Large wicker baskets with flat lids that look like trunks can easily hold more folded sweaters or T-shirts than a drawer. Plus you can use them as bedside tables or coffee tables.
• Uses for Free Toiletries – To make use of your obsessive collection of hotel shampoos and conditioners, make a basket to put out on your bathroom counter when you have guests. Donate the rest to a shelter.
• Out-of-Season Clothes Storage – Use vacuum seal bags, which are available at most hardware stores. The clothes compress and are totally safe from insects and dust.
– Adapted from RD.com

Today’s opening of the Robert F Kennedy Community Schools in Los Angeles will be auspicious for a reason other than being on the site of the infamous Ambassador Hotel, where the Democratic presidential contender was assassinated in 1968. With an eye-popping price tag of $578 million, it will mark the inauguration of the USA’s most expensive public school … ever. The kindergarten-Grade 12 complex houses 4,200 students and has raised eyebrows as the creme de la creme of ‘Taj Mahal’ schools, $100 million-plus campuses boasting both architectural panache and deluxe amenities. (Such as on-site cops, parole officer, and coroner.)
– AP

When you’re awake, your mind wanders about 30% of the time. Consciously you may be thinking about winning the lottery or scoring the winning run in your office softball league. But beneath the surface, your brain is often hard at work on ‘big picture’ problems. University of British Columbia neuroscientist Kalina Christoff has found that mind-wandering is a much more active activity than previously imagined, more active in fact than when we’re focusing on solving a complex problem. (So quit trying so hard … try to doodle more.)
– “Wall Street Journal”

• Jamaican world record sprinter Usain Bolt was called ‘VJ’ as a child because his mother thought he needed a nickname. It doesn’t stand for anything. (‘Lightening’ Bolt would have been more apropos.)
– “The Guardian”
• Apples originated in Kazakhstan. (And that’s about all … other than Kazakhstanis.)
– “Magazine Monitor”
• Brits drink less alcohol than the European average. (Even when you factor in the Scots?)
– BBC News

“The word ‘teacher’ does not do justice to the profession. A teacher is also the nurse, psychologist, social worker, counselor, secretary, odd-job worker, and photocopy-machine mechanic.”
– Teacher Koh Soo Ling in Malaysia’s “New Sunday Times”.


1951 [59] Julie Kavner, LA CA, TV actress (voice of ‘Marge Simpson’ on “The Simpsons” since 1989)/movie actress (“Click”, “The Simpsons Movie”)

1954 [56] Benmont Tench, Gainesville FL, classic rock musician (Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers-“Free Fallin’”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2002)

1973 [37] Shannon Elizabeth, Houston TX, movie actress (“Johnson Family Vacation”, “American Pie” movies)

1987 [23] Evan Rachel Wood, Raleigh NC, movie actress (“The Wrestler”, “Across the Universe”)/TV actress (‘Sophie-Anne Leclerq’ on “True Blood” since 2009)

• “Google Commemoration Day”, honoring the 1998 founding of Google Inc by Sergey Brin & Lawrence Page in a friend’s garage in Menlo Park CA. (They used to be ‘the little guys’ … but not anymore!)

• “Neither Rain Nor Snow Day”, commemorating the motto of the US Postal Service – “Neither rain nor snow nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds”.

• “Nose Hair Maintenance Day”, your annual opportunity to take proper care of nose hair by trimming, styling, brushing or some such thing. (Wait a sec … once a year?)

• “Salami Day”, started in 2006 by the Salami Appreciation Society to honor the cured Italian sausage that is fermented and air-dried. (Erp!)
NET: http://www.salamiday.com

• “Take Another Look Day”, a day to survey your possessions and give surplus items to charity or reuse them in another project. (In other words, dump some of your ‘stuff’!)

1986 [24] TV’s “Oprah Winfrey Show” debuts (the beginnings of a billionaire)

2003 [07] Singer/songwriter Warren Zevon (“Werewolves of London”) dies of lung cancer in Los Angeles at age 56

1931 [79] The ‘American Sunbathing Association’ is founded (now known as the ‘American Association for Nude Recreation’, which has member clubs across the US & Canada)

1979 [31] ESPN debuts on cable TV (filling the need for more Australian Rules Football)

1984 [26] 1st ‘Platinum’ credit cards issued by American Express (because by then everybody has a ‘Gold’ card)

1958 [52] Mary Davis sets the ‘Women’s World Non-Stop Talking Record’ as she finally shuts up in Tulsa OK after 110 hours, 30 minutes (started talking 4 days earlier in Buffalo NY) BS FACTOID: The ‘Men’s World Non-Stop Talking Record’ is 200 hours.

[Wed] Canadian Country Music Week begins (Edmonton AB)
[Wed] International Literacy Day
[Wed] Rosh Hashanah (Jewish)
[Wed] World Physical Therapy Day
[Thurs] NFL Opening Kickoff 2010 (New Orleans LA)
[Thurs] Wonderful Weirdos Day
[Thurs] 35th Toronto International Film Festival begins
[Thurs] “The Vampire Diaries” season debut (CW)

International Enthusiasm Week / Payroll Week / Play Days / Self-University Week / Suicide Prevention Week / Waffle Week


A highlight bit culled from 17 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
Contestants compete to list the most things to fit the category you stipulate. Start with one contestant, give out the category, then start the clock. Total the score, then give your other contestant a new category and see if they can beat the total. A few suggested topics …
• Things you run out of in the kitchen.
• Stuff you get nagged about by your partner.
• Professional sports teams named after animals.
• Organs of the human body.
• Endearing nicknames you might call your partner.
• Things that are really, really sharp.
• Cool places to go on a Saturday night.
• Insults you might hear in the schoolyard.
• Noises you can make with your body.
• Things you eat that are red.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

What’s the nastiest backhanded compliment you’ve ever received (heard)? Readers of Cosmopolitan.com have submitted the following …
• ‘You have a nice butt … for a white girl.’
• ‘The fact that you are so flat-chested really helps your body look good in all your clothes.’
• ‘You’re pretty … but you’d be prettier if you got rid of all your freckles.’
• ‘I like the shape of your face because it makes you look like a Cabbage Patch doll.’
• ‘Wow, you’re really smart! You don’t look like you would be.’
• ‘Your huge breasts really made your waist look smaller than it is.’
• ‘You have big eyes … like an alien.’

Today’s Question: The average woman will have 4 of THESE in her lifetime.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Hair colors.

Any change looks terrible at first.

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