Monday, September 7, 2015        Edition: #5532


Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Spotify has named EDM act Major Lazer’s “Lean On” as the global ‘Song Of the Summer’. The thumping, bass-heavy song featuring MC and DJ Snake has beaten out Jamaican native OMI’s “Cheerleader” and Wiz Khalifa’s “See You Again” f/Charlie Puth, which rank as the #2 and #3 most-streamed songs this Summer. Regionally, North American fans have made The Weeknd’s “Can’t Feel My Face” the top tune of Summer 2015.
– AP
★ Forest Whitaker, the actor & director who won an Academy Award for his performance in the 2006 film “The Last King of Scotland”, will make his Broadway debut in the Spring 2016 production of the Eugene O’Neill play “Hughie”. Whitaker, whose upcoming film projects include “Star Wars: Rogue One”, will take on a stage role first played on Broadway by Jason Robards in 1964. Set in a midtown hotel, the play — essentially a long monologue — centers on a hustler who bombards the hotel’s new night clerk with stories of his past.
– Variety.com
★ “So You Think You Can Dance” host Cat Deeley is pregnant with her first child. The British TV personality and her Northern Irish husband Patrick Kielty are expecting the baby early next year. The news comes just weeks after writer/TV personality Kielty joked about becoming a dad, stating, “I hope any child we might have has Cat’s looks and my accent.” Deeley and Kielty wed in secret in Italy in 2012. Tonight on “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV), the 4 remaining dancers perform one last time.
– ContactMusic.com
★ And celebrity spawn Rumer Willis (daughter of Bruce Wills & Demi Moore) was supposed to start playing ‘Roxie Hart’ in “Chicago” on Broadway last month, but her debut has been delayed until at least mid-September. Some insiders wonder if this delay might prove ongoing as the largely untrained pseudo-celeb is said to be having problems with the dance routines. And the songs. And the singing and dancing together. None of this is helped by the punishing rehearsal routines playing havoc with her body.
– PopBitch.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Tove Lo (“Queen Of the Clouds”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Craft Spells (“Nausea”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Adam Lambert (“The Original High”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – The Blue Jean Committee (“Massachusetts Afternoon”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Shawn Mendes (“Handwritten”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – OMI (“Cheerleader”). Rerun.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Deborah Cox – The “Beautiful U R” singer is signed to portray singing legend Josephine Baker in the new stage show “Josephine”, opening in Sarasota FL in April. She’s also stepping into Whitney Houston’s role in “The Bodyguard” for a North American theater tour next year.
• Kanye West – He blurts some BS about running for prez and already the merch is out. Better grab your ‘West/Swift 2020′ T-shirts quick, before Taylor Swift has them yanked and set on fire.
NET: http://etsy.me/1XkpOoc
• KISS – Paul Stanley has a strange addiction to pre-made pizza dough. He loves the stuff so much the staff at his local Trader Joe’s have been keeping tabs on how much he buys. His current record is 24 single-pizza portions in one purchase.
• Mötley Crüe – Nikki Sixx is tired of audience members taking selfies at the group’s farewell concerts. Twitter quote: “Stop taking selfies and be AT the concert, idiots. #morons”.
• Nick Jonas – His North American “Live In Concert” tour got underway last night in Hershey PA. Dates are slotted through October 25th in San Francisco CA. Jonas will also open a number of dates for Kelly Clarkson in Canada in early-/mid-October.
• Prince – Today he releases his  33rd album, “HitNRun”, exclusively on Jay Z’s streaming service TIDAL. The project was written and recorded in just 3 months. It’s unclear when or if the new album will be released via other methods.
• R Kelly – Quote: “I walk around every day with a radio playing constantly in my head, and this radio station plays a lot of hits.”

WORMING THEIR WAY INTO YOUR BRAIN:
Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” and most other chart-topping tracks share at least one ingredient … repetitive lyrics. A study has explored the power of repetition by comparing all #1 songs on the ‘Billboard Hot 100′ list from 1958 to 2012 with tracks that never broke past #90. The results: The simpler and more repetitive a song’s lyrics, the better its odds of reaching top spot. Such songs are also more likely to have debuted in the Top 40, and climb the chart faster than less repetitive ones. This finding supports the theory of ‘processing fluency’, which suggests that the easier a message is to digest, the more positively people will react to it. (The reason ‘Time for Change’ is a popular political slogan.)
– “Psychology Today”

ROOKIE VS VET:
Which would you advise your favorite baseball team to recruit … a rookie with a good shot to win ‘Rookie Of the Year’ or a player who’s already won the award? According to researchers from Stanford and Harvard universities, you’re more likely to go with the rookie. In a series of experiments, people consistently show preference for someone with the potential for a certain level of achievement over someone who has actually attained that level of achievement. (Teams often prefer them too because … they’re cheaper!)
– “Boston Globe”

WHAT YOUR HANDWRITING SAYS ABOUT YOU:
• Large Letters: Usually the sign of a confident, easygoing individual.
• Huge Letters: Denotes someone who’s loud, theatrical & needs to be the center of attention.
• Wide Letters (width & height about the same): The mark of someone who’s open and friendly.
• Narrow Letters: Shows someone who’s kind of shy and inhibited but also very self-disciplined.
• Letters That Don’t Touch: An impulsive, artistic, sometimes impractical free-thinker.
• Some Letters Connecting: Means the writer’s personality blends logic and intuition.
• All Letters Making Contact: The calling card of someone who is highly cautious.
• A Curved First Mark: Shows a person who’s traditional and plays by the rules.
• A Straight Beginning Stroke: Reveals someone who’s rigid & doesn’t like being told what to do.
• A Final Stroke Straight Across: A clue that the writer is cautious.
• An End Mark That Curves Up: Shows generosity.
• Perfect Penmanship: The hallmark of a communicative person.
• Indecipherable Scrawl: Indicates a person who’s secretive, closed-up & keeps thoughts within.
– “Focus”

IT’S ALL ABOUT TIMING:
An Office Angels survey of some 1,500 bosses has found that the way they respond to employee requests often depends on the day of the week. For instance …
• Monday afternoon is the best time to put in a vacation request.
• Tuesday afternoon is the best time to show off to the boss, or to break bad news.
• Wednesday is the best day to ask for a pay raise.
• Thursday is when the boss is most likely to be open to new ideas.
• Friday is when the boss is most likely to be relaxed and therefore inclined to allow you to leave work early. (The best time to do your unflattering impression of the boss … your day off.)
– “The Scotsman”

WHY WE GET STUPID WHEN DRUNK:
Resent research on alcohol’s effect on brain activity helps to explain the age-old phenomenon of people doing dumb things when they drink booze. University of Missouri researchers have found that alcohol dulls the brain signal that warns us when we are making a mistake, ultimately reducing self-control. Previous studies have also shown that alcohol reduces this alarm signal, but this is the first to show that it doesn’t reduce our awareness of mistakes … it reduces how much we care about making them. (“I don’t care what you say … I hate wearing pants.”)
– “Psych Central News”

HOW TO MAJOR:
Outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas offers the following tips for college students who want to succeed in a global economy …
• Learn another language. Chinese will especially be useful.
• Take ‘Acting 101′. It helps in business, sales and retail.
• Do lab work. Chemistry is key in the search for energy.
• Learn about other cultures and nations.
– “Parade Magazine”

CUP COLOR CONSIDERATIONS:
A joint research team from Spain’s Polytechnic University of Valencia and UK’s University of Oxford has asked study participants to sample hot chocolate served in plastic cups in 4 different colors – white, cream, red, and, orange. While the chocolate was the same in all samples, most volunteers found the flavor better when the drink was served in orange or cream-colored cups. The conclusion: The color of a food or drink container can enhance taste and aroma. Previous research has found that yellow containers boost the perception of lemon flavor in soft drinks; beverages with cold colors, like blue, seem more thirst-quenching; and if drinks are pink, they are perceived as being more sugary. (We like coffee served in an oil can.)
– AFP

BS AMAZING FACT:
Thanks to their kids going back to school, 27% of moms say they’ll get to work on time tomorrow … if not early.

BS CHRONOMETER 09.07.15


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1951 [64] Julie Kavner, LA CA, TV actress (voice of ‘Marge Simpson’ on “The Simpsons” since 1989)/movie actress (“Click”, “The Simpsons Movie”)

1976 [39] Oliver Hudson, LA CA, TV actor (‘Wes’ on “Scream Queens” 2015, “Rules Of Engagement” 2007-13)/son of actress Goldie Hawn/brother of actress Kate Hudson

1987 [28] Evan Rachel Wood, Raleigh NC, TV actress (“True Blood” 2009-11)/movie actress (“The Ides of March”, “The Wrestler”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Labor Day”, an American and Canadian public holiday celebrated on the 1st Monday in September to honor the labor movement and the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of their country.

• “Neither Rain Nor Snow Day”, commemorating the motto of the US Postal Service – “Neither rain nor snow nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds”.

• “Salami Day”, started in 2006 by the Salami Appreciation Society to honor the cured Italian sausage that is fermented and air-dried.
NET: http://www.salamiday.com

• “World ADHD Day”, begun in 2012 to increase awareness that Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder can affect people of every age, gender, IQ, and socioeconomic background. (There are those, however, who claim it’s not a disorder at all … merely undisciplined behavior.)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1979 [36] Entertainment & Sports Programming Network (ESPN) debuts on cable TV

1986 [29] TV’s “Oprah Winfrey Show” debuts (the beginning of a billionaire)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1996 [19] Tupac Shakur is shot several times in Las Vegas while riding in a BMW with Death Row Records founder Marion ‘Suge’ Knight (dies of complications from gunshot wounds 6 days later)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1915 [100] 1st ‘Raggedy Ann’ doll (modeled after [co-host's] body.)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2014 [01] Serena Williams beats Caroline Wozniacki in the US Open final, thereby joining Martina Navratilova and Chris Evert with a record 18 Grand Slam singles victories (Serena now has 21 … 22 if she wins the 2015 US Open)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” debuts (CBS/Global)
[Tues] “Ellen DeGeneres Show” season debut (syndicated)
[Tues] “Independent Music Awards” (London UK)
[Tues] International Literacy Day
[Tues] World Physical Therapy
[Wed] Wonderful Weirdoes Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Play Days / Substitute Teacher Appreciation Week / Suicide Prevention Week / Waffle Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 22 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
NASTIEST BACKHANDED COMPLIMENTS:
As submitted by readers of “Cosmopolitan” …
• ‘You have a nice butt … for a white girl.’
• ‘The fact that you are so flat-chested really helps your body look good in all your clothes.’
• ‘You’re pretty … but you’d be prettier if you got rid of all your freckles.’
• ‘I like the shape of your face because it makes you look like a Cabbage Patch doll.’
• ‘Wow, you’re really smart! You don’t look like you would be.’
• ‘Your huge breasts really made your waist look smaller than it is.’
• ‘You have big eyes … like an alien.’
– First published in “BS” 2010.

ACTUAL REASONS MLB BALL PLAYERS HAVE GONE ON THE DISABLED LIST:
• ‘Strained muscle while vomiting.’
• ‘Frostbite’ (in August).
• ‘Tattoo infection.’
• ‘Dislocated shoulder while ripping phone book in half.’
• ‘Injured shoulder knocking over milk bottles on “The Tonight Show”.’
• ‘Chili juice in the eye.’
• ‘Smashed thumb in door of Mercedes … on the way to the bank.’
– First published in “BS” 2001 .
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever put in your kid’s school lunch?

BS WEB GOODIE:
Here’s an odd investment you might want to consider … disguising beer cans as coffee cups.
NET: http://kck.st/1UumBxX

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which of The Beatles was the first to become a grandfather?
a. Paul McCartney.
b. George Harrison.
c. Ringo Starr. [CORRECT. 30 years ago today (1985) he became the proud grandpa of Tatia Jayne via his son Zak, making him the first Beatle to be so honored.]
– “Today in Oldies Music History”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Women are 4 times more likely than men to have problems with THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Their feet.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
In sports, a ‘free agent’ is anything but.

BS FRESH MEAT:
Super Producer Max @ 106 KMEL, San Francisco CA; Stacey Lazor @ Country 93.1 [CFRY-FM] Portage la Prairie MB; Leah Stovall @ Vertical Radio [KNMI] Farmington NM; Shilynne Cole @ 97.1 QMG [WQMG] Greensboro NC; and Barry Simon @ B94 [CHBW] Rocky Mountain House AB.


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