Thursday, September 8, 2011        Edition: #4582
Bully For You!

Actor/comedian Eddie Murphy has now been confirmed as the host of the 84th annual Academy Awards coming up in February (what, did everyone else say no?) . . . Using CGI technology, late screen idols Grace Kelly, Marilyn Monroe, and Marlene Dietrich have been resurrected on film to join Charlize Theron in the latest ad campaign for Dior’s J’Adore perfume (soon we won’t need live stars) . . . Newest celeb couple rumor: Ryan Gosling & Eva Mendes, spotted getting all mushy during a Disneyland date in California (he’s making a run at becoming Hollywood’s serial womanizer) . . . Meantime, former celeb couple Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel have shown up at a wedding together (apparently, it’s ‘on’ again) . . . Pro wrestling honcho Vince McMahon has announced that the ‘WWE Network’ is on the way in 2012, presumably an all-wrestling all-the-time cable channel (to fill all this tube-time they’ll have to rerun footage of everyone from Hulk Hogan to Classy Freddie Blassie) . . . “The View” co-host Sherri Shepherd has felt compelled to inform us that she didn’t wear underwear on her wedding day this summer (ew, thanks so much for sharing) . . . And the race is on to find Regis Philbin’s replacement as he’s just announced that his final episode of “Live With Regis & Kelly” will be on November 18th (the hardest part about replacing him is finding another guy named ‘Regis’).

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Foo Fighters (“Wasting Light”).
• “Football Night in America: Kickoff Special” (NBC) – The NFL season opens with New Orleans Saints @ Green Bay Packers, the last 2 Super Bowl winners.
• Heroes Music Fest (Hampton GA) – The first 2 days of this 4-day festival at Atlanta Motor Speedway recognizing hometown heroes as well as 9/11 heroes features country stars; the final 2 days are devoted to rock artists. Close to 40 acts are scheduled.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Gabe Dixon (“One Spark”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (“Beat the Devil’s Tattoo”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Pearl Jam performs in the first of 2 consecutive shows promoting their new “Pearl Jam Twenty” documentary. Tonight the film’s director, Cameron Crowe, also appears.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – John Doe (“Keeper”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tinie Tempah (“Disc-Overy”).
• Toronto International Film Festival – The 36th annual through September 18th opens with the U2 documentary “From the Sky Down”, which tells the story of their 1991 album “Achtung Baby”. Among the stars expected at this year’s festival: Blake Lively, Bono, Brad Pitt, Bruce Springsteen, Ewan McGregor, Geoffrey Rush, George Clooney, Hugh Laurie, Keira Knightley, Madonna, Nicolas Cage, Rachel Weisz, and Ryan Gosling.

• Buffalo Springfield – Neil Young’s 1960s band has postponed their planned reunion tour yet again. They originally planned to launch a 30-date tour this fall and then bumped it back to January/February 2012. Now they’re saying they hope to tour sometime later in 2012.
• Celine Dion – An intruder has been arrested in her palatial home near Montréal after he took keys and a garage door opener from one of her husband Rene Angelil’s unlocked cars, entered the house and enjoyed a snack before filling the tub for a bath. The family was not home, thanks to her Vegas residency.
• Jason Aldean – His country chart-topper “My Kinda Party” will play during the opening video montage that leads into each week’s televised game during the 2011 ACC football season.
• Justin Bieber – He’s reportedly taking over the head prankster role on MTV’s “Punk’d”. Among the celebs he pranks … Taylor Swift.
• Ke$ha – She’s just been named the first ‘Global Ambassador’ for Humane Society International. A passionate animal rights campaigner, she’ll promote protection and compassion for creatures around-the-world.
• Lady Gaga – She goes bald-face in the October issue of “Harper’s Bazaar” magazine, appearing totally makeup free. Just a warning … it’s kind of scary.
• Madonna – She’s begun a new album, her first since 2008’s “Hard Candy”. She says she’ll continue recording until the end of the year. The first single is expected to be out in February or March, with the LP release sometime next spring. As usual, when her movies bomb (ie: the critically-panned “WE”), she goes back to her day job.
• Michael Jackson – Producer David Gest and Jackson 5 member Tito Jackson have unveiled plans for a singing and spoken-word tour that will serve as a tribute to Michael. The show, titled “A Jackson Named Michael: Remembering a Legend”, kicks off in the UK in March 2012.
• My Chemical Romance – They’ve  ejected their touring drummer, Michael Pedicone, after he was caught red-handed stealing from the band and confessed to police after a show in Auburn, Washington. No details on what he stole. Chemicals?
• Soulja Boy – The anti-army lyrics in his track “Let’s Be Real” have sparked a petition calling for a boycott of his upcoming album “Respect My Hustle”. So now his reps say the tune will not appear on the album and he’s willing to perform free shows for the military to apologize. Wimp.
• Wilson Phillips – They continue to ride their “Bridesmaids”-cameo train. The ‘90s pop trio will feature in a new reality show, even though two of them already scored reality TV gigs this year.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Beetlejuice 2” – A sequel is in the works to the 1988 Tim Burton film that starred Michael Keaton. Despite making just $73 million in theaters, the comedy about a pair of ghosts who hire a ‘bio-exorcist’ to rid their home of humans became a massive cult hit.
• “Fame & Fortune” – John Scheinfeld will direct this adaptation of “Elvis: Still Taking Care of Business”, the 2007 biography by former Elvis bodyguard Sonny West. The project will begin casting this fall with an eye to a 2012 theatrical release, the 35th anniversary of Presley’s death.
• “The Expendables 2” – After doing cameos in the original film, Bruce Willis & Arnold Schwarzenegger will take on more substantial roles in Sylvester Stallone’s upcoming sequel. Shooting is set to begin in Bulgaria next week. The action film is due in cinemas in August 2012.
• “Line Of Sight” – Ben Affleck is in negotiations to direct and star in this upcoming action movie that tells the story of an elite commando squad transporting cargo while dealing with a global threat. Peter O’Brien, who wrote the videogame “Halo: Reach”, is writing the script.
• “The Silver Linings Playbook” – In this adaptation of Matthew Quick’s novel, Bradley Cooper plays a teacher who’s institutionalized for depression, then released into his mother’s care, where he gets involved with her eccentric neighbor (Jennifer Lawrence). The film’s due in 2013.

If you want to show the world what you’re really made of, guts and all, then your wait is almost over. Thanks to researchers from RIKEN, Japan’s major research institute, biological tissue can be turned totally transparent via a chemical re-agent called ‘Scale’. So far, the technology has enabled scientists to see deeper inside individual cells and into the depths of the brain. Unfortunately, this re-agent doesn’t work on living tissue (yet), so you’ll have to wait a while longer for your clear skin make-over. (In the future, see-through bodies?)

Researchers say the level of neurotransmitters in the brain is affected after a romantic split, producing a range of symptoms from sadness and anxiety to changes in sleep, appetite, and even motor co-ordination. It doesn’t matter whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee – if the breakup was painful, the physiological symptoms will be the same. In general, the more meaningful the relationship, the longer it takes to move through the stages after a breakup. Figure a couple months for a short relationship, 6 months-to-a year for one that lasted a few years, and 2-to-3 years to recover after a long-term marriage. (The reason the best country music songwriters have been divorced … 17 times.)
– “Wall Street Journal”

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 85% of us say we’ve had photos of us uploaded onto the Internet by another person.
• 55% of airline passengers say their emotions become more heightened during flight.
• 43% of us have gotten into an argument with friends or family over economic conditions.
• 32% of those running home businesses say they’ve gained weight since.
• 20% of us have played in a musical band at one time or another.
• 9% of us have written a love letter in the past year.

Does getting home from a trip seem to take less time than getting there? There’s a scientific explanation for that! Niels van de Ven, a psychologist at Tilburg University in the Netherlands, says we’re often too optimistic when we begin to travel, so when we finish the outbound trip we feel like it took longer than expected. That feeling of pessimism carries over to when we’re ready to return home. We start the return journey thinking, ‘Wow, this is going to take a long time.’ But just as initial optimism made the trip out feel longer than expected, this pessimism starting back makes the trip home feel shorter. (We’re guessing the fact you don’t get lost helps as well.)

Vadxx, an Ohio-based energy company, is taking plastics and returning them to the original state from which they came … crude oil. Even plastics that are non-recyclable, such as ‘auto fluff’ (the non-metal parts of junked cars), can be used to create the world’s lowest sulfur-content crude. Vadxx says that each of its oil production units could shrink landfill deposits by 10,000-to-14,000 tons a year. Last month, Vadxx won a piece of Akron, Ohio’s recycling contract and will start processing some of the city’s waste into oil at a pilot plant. (Certainly a better option than drilling in the Arctic!)

Social-media fans, in frequent contact via texts, Facebook, and Twitter, are now increasingly embracing … paper. That’s given rise to a host of new small stationery makers. Much of the recent resurgence involves letterpress printing, a method that uses raised type to make a deep impression in thick paper, creating a substantial, textured product. Selecting a special card printed on fine paper, writing in ink, and dropping a stamped envelope into a mailbox is now seen as a way to designate a friendship as significant. (Is there anything more thoughtful than a handwritten thank-you note?)

• Expecting another record or near-record audience for “Super Bow XLVI” next February 5th, advertisers are paying NBC-TV as much as $3.5 million for a 30-second spot … a new record.
– “Adweek”
• There are 8.5 million football-related words in the English language.
– “Daily Telegraph”
• Libya’s new flag (red, black, and green with a white star & crescent in the center) is actually a retro flag. It’s the flag of the Kingdom of Libya, which existed from 1951-69 until Moammar Gadhafi overthrew the government.
– “Christian Science Monitor”


1971 [40] David Arquette, Winchester VA, movie actor (“Scream” movies)/estranged husband of actress Courteney Cox/rehab veteran/brother of actresses Patricia & Rosanna Arquette

1971 [40] Brooke Burke, Hartford CT, TV personality (“Dancing With the Stars” co-host since 2010, “Rock Star” 2005-06, “Wild On!” 1999-2002)/model (“Playboy”, “Maxim”, “FHM”)

1979 [32] Pink (Alecia Moore), Doylestown PA, pop singer (“Raise Your Glass”, “Get The Party Started”)

1987 [24] Wiz Khalifa (Cameron Thomaz), Minot ND, rap artist (“No Sleep”, “Black & Yellow”)

• “International Literacy Day”, established by the UN in 1965 to promote reading & writing programs. Worldwide, 1-in-5 adults (about 774 million) are illiterate, and 75 million children are not in school. Millions of young people leave school without a level of literacy adequate for productive and active participation in today’s information society.

• “World Physical Therapy Day”, initiated in 1951 to recognize the work that physical therapists do for their patients and community. (What’s the strangest physio you’ve endured? Perhaps acupuncture needles … connected to electricity?)

1966 [45] “Star Trek” premieres on NBC-TV (cancelled in April, 1969 after just 79 episodes)  BS FACTOID: It spawns perhaps the most successful TV/movie franchise in history with 4 spin-off TV shows (“The Next Generation”, “Deep Space 9”, “Voyager”, “Enterprise”), an animated series, and 10 (soon to be 11) motion pictures.

2006 [05] Country singer Toby Keith makes his bigscreen debut, producing and starring in the movie “Broken Bridges”

1921 [90] 15-year-old Margaret Gorman from Washington DC (30-25-32) is crowned 1st ‘Miss America’ in the 1st-ever bathing beauty contest (2-day pageant)

1965 [46] Kansas City Athletics’ Bert Campaneris plays all 9 positions in a single Major League Baseball game (uh … not at once)

[Fri] Wonderful Weirdoes Day
[Fri] Stand Up to Cancer Day
[Fri] Polaris Music Prize announced (Toronto)
[Fri] “Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star”; “Contagion”; “Warrior” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Virgin Mobile FreeFest (Columbia MD)
[Sun] 10th anniversary of 9/11
[Sun] Grandparents Day
This Week Is … Waffle Week
This Month Is … Children’s Good Manners Month


• It’s mighty hard to impress other gangs while wearing a fuchsia cardigan.
• The ‘100% Kevlar’ label doesn’t exactly fill you with confidence about your safety.
• The school’s initials are monogrammed on the sweater. Unfortunately, you attend ‘Philips Middle School’. (‘Frankford Upper College’.)
• No matter what the principal claims, a fez just doesn’t command much respect at the mall.
• The kilts are okay; it’s the bagpipes that are downright embarrassing.
• Tighter waistband leaves no place in which to stuff your Glock.
• Rather than just buying the uniform, you first have to get hired by UPS.
– Adapted from

What should someone over 50 never wear? According to the September issue of the “AARP Bulletin”, senior apparel no-nos include …
– Miniskirts, mini-shorts, anything that’s been deliberately diminished or ripped.
– Low-rise pants that showcase low-rise anatomy.
– Super-tight skinny jeans, even if you are both.
– T-shirts that say ‘Sexy Grandma,’ ‘Vote for Ozzy’ or ‘I Am the Man from Nantucket’.
– Purses with dogs on them. Purses with dogs in them.
– Gold chains with your name on them. Gold chains. Chains.

If you don’t like my opinion of you, you can always improve.

Question: It has nothing to do with electronics but most kids now have THIS at school whereas their parents never did.
Answer: Hand sanitizer.

Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate it.

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