Tuesday, September 8, 2015        Edition: #5533

Ah, Some BS You Look Forward To In the Morning!

“The Bull Sheet” is on late Summer hiatus September 14-25 inclusive. All subscribers will receive account credits for missed service days.

★ Actress Amber Heard missed a court hearing in Australia on Monday when she was due to face charges of 2 counts of illegal dog importing. The charges stem from an incident in May when Oz authorities discovered she and husband Johnny Depp were keeping their 2 Yorkies at their rented mansion on the Gold Coast. It’s alleged Heard brought the dogs into the country illegally on a private jet without first securing proper permits. Heard’s lawyers have asked for an adjournment, which has been granted on the condition she appears November 2nd.
– ContactMusic.com
★ Johnny Depp and Julia Roberts have emerged as early Oscars frontrunners in a new online poll. The Fandango survey selects Depp’s performance in “Black Mass” (September 18) and Roberts’ role in “Secret In Their Eyes” (November 20) as the most likely acting roles to be award-worthy. Meanwhile, “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2” (November 20) has been picked as the season’s most anticipated upcoming movie. Pixar’s “The Good Dinosaur” (November 25) has been voted the most anticipated family film.
– WENN.com
★ An all-star lineup of musicians has joined together to record “Love Song To the Earth”, a project aimed at bringing further attention to the issue of climate change. The track features Paul McCartney, Jon Bon Jovi, Sheryl Crow, Fergie, Natasha Bedingfield, Leona Lewis, Sean Paul and many other artists from around-the-world. It was released exclusively via iTunes and Apple Music on Friday, with a wider release set for this Friday, September 11.
– FMQB.com
★ And  ‘Pussy Galore’ is back! Late author Ian Fleming’s famous leading lady is being reunited with ‘007’ in Anthony Horowitz’s new official ‘James Bond’ novel, titled “Trigger Mortis”. The new spy adventure begins in 1957, two weeks after the end of Fleming’s original novel “Goldfinger”. As well as ‘Galore’ (played by Honor Blackman in 1964’s “Goldfinger” film), the new book features a new ‘Bond’ girl called ‘Jeopardy Lane’; and ‘Jai Seung Sin’, described as a sadistic, scheming Korean adversary. “Trigger Mortis” is being published today by Orion.
– DigitalSpy.co.uk

• AIM Independent Music Awards (London UK) – Four artists have triple nominations: Alt-j,
newcomer Courtney Barnett, Fka Twigs, and Young Fathers. Disbanded rockers Oasis are nominated for ‘Special Catalogue Release Of the Year’ for a reissue of their 1995 album “(What’s the Story) Morning Glory?”.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – 11 acts perform for the judges.
• “Cash Music Television” (CMT) – Kid Rock hosts this week-long Johnny Cash tribute, marking the 12th anniversary of his death. Tonight the bio-pic “Walk the Line” airs; Friday a tribute special from today’s country stars; Saturday the premiere of the new documentary film “Johnny Cash: American Rebel”.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – The 13th season debut is ushered in with a brand new theme song, “Today’s The Day”, written and recorded by P!nk. Today’s: guest: Caitlyn Jenner.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Rita Ora f/Chris Brown (“Body on Me”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – 1980s alt-rockers Jesus & Mary Chain.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Wiz Khalifa f/Fall Out Boy (“Stayin’ Out All Night”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Nick Jonas (“Jealous”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Colbert’s debut as he takes over for David Letterman. His first interview is actor George Clooney; Jon Batiste, the show’s new music director-bandleader, performs.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Keith Urban (“John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16”).

• Alabama Shakes – Singer/guitarist Brittany Howard has released a new self-titled album from her side project Thunderbitch. The rock act has been around since 2012 but this is the 1st full-fledged recording to be released.
• Black Sabbath – They’ve now confirmed that their farewell tour, dubbed “The End”, will commence on January 20, 2016. The first show touches down in Omaha NE.
• Carrie Underwood – She has a busy week in NYC this week, presenting her CALIA by Carrie Underwood Fall collection at New York Fashion Week; serving as a guest judge on “Project Runway” (Lifetime); and doing “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” this Thursday.
• Garth Brooks – A plan to record a 25th anniversary version of his breakthrough hit “Friends in Low Places” has run into a legal roadblock due to problems with royalty payments. The new rendition was to include Florida Georgia Line, George Strait, Jason Aldean, and Keith Urban but it seems the idea is now dead in the water.
• Justin Bieber – He now holds the record for biggest first week for a single on Spotify with his new song “What Do You Mean?”. The single has had over 21 million streams globally in the first 5 days alone. The previous record holder was One Direction’s “Drag Me Down”.
• Luke Bryan – “Kill the Lights” is again the best-selling country album, topping the latest ‘Billboard Top Country Albums’ chart.
• Radiohead – Drummer Phil Selway tells “NME” the band has a busy Autumn coming up, mostly due to work completing a new release. It will be the Brit band’s 1st new album since 2011.
• Sam Hunt – For the 2nd consecutive week he leads the ‘Billboard Hot Country Songs’ chart with “House Party”.
• The Weeknd – His new album “Beauty Behind the Madness” has debuted at #1 on the ‘Billboard 200’ albums chart.

✓ You’ll get compliments like never before … mainly good ones.
✓ You’ll save a fortune on razor cartridges … as well as toilet paper for a face full of cuts.
✓ You’ll find your tribe. A simple look and nod between 2 bearded guys is like a secret handshake.
✓ It compensates for hair-loss if you suffer from male pattern baldness.
✓ Beards are good for tickling.
✓ Good food lasts longer. What’s this stuck in your beard? Wow, it’s a T-bone steak!
✓ You’ll have an incredible amount of extra time that used to be blown on shaving.
✓ It makes almost everybody look better. Imagine a barefaced Zach Galifianakis. Ew!
✓ It fixes problem skin. And by ‘fixes’, we mean ‘hides’.
✓ Also, disguises double chins. Or triple.
✓ It gives you something to do with your hands. Finger grooming can consume hours.
✓ It’s healthy. Thick beards can block up to 95% of the ultraviolet rays that damage skin and can cause cancer.
– Adapted from Metro.co.uk

Plastic bags are the latest weird trend in Taiwan. Instead of recycling them, women are wearing the 2-handled bags you get at grocery stores … as onesies. Basically, they’re popping 2 leg holes in a plastic bag, shoving their legs through, and wearing the handles as shoulder straps. Many have then been posing all sexily online because … well, why the heck not? Of course, this is on the Internet, so even if the trend wasn’t completely ridiculous (as it is), people would be dissing it right and left. (This will never catch on … you have to be under 4-feet-tall and weigh about 70 lbs to get into a plastic bag.)
NET: http://tinyurl.com/q6rehe9
– DailyEdge.ie

A new poll has found that wearing black makes you feel sexy, smart, and confident. An overwhelming majority of both men & women surveyed say they feel best in black. Blue takes 2nd in the rankings for attractiveness, scoring better with poll respondents than any other shade. Men cite it as one of their top choices to wear on a first date, and women agree that they like a man in blue … that is, if a man in black isn’t available. As far as colors to avoid, the results are just as clear. Brown and orange are suitable for chocolate and traffic cones, but not people; and pink is best left to ‘Barbie’. For almost all other people and occasions, black is selected as best. And it will never go out of style. (What goes with black? Everything.)
– Mic.com

A new study from VIB (a Belgium-based life sciences institute) is the first to find a direct relationship between growing up on a farm and allergy resistance. The discovery could potentially lead to the development of an asthma vaccine, the researchers claim. The key, it turns out, is a special kind of dust. This ‘farm dust’ helps build resistance to other dust-based allergies as well as asthma. Unfortunately for city dwellers prone to sneezing and wheezing, just going to a farm and breathing deeply won’t alleviate allergies; the resistance is created while the lungs are still developing. (Is ‘farm dust’ just a euphemism for barnyard stink?)
– MentalFloss.com

There’s an apartment in NYC that’s touted as the city’s (and maybe world’s) smallest. The 100-square-foot (9.3 sq m) rental is said to be so small ‘you can’t gain weight once you move in’. The studio apartment on the Upper West Side includes a shower and toilet, but no kitchen … unless a mini-fridge, microwave, and hot-plate count. To put the size into perspective, the jail cell that notorious Mexican drug lord Joaquin (‘El Chapo’) Guzman lived in before escaping was twice the size. And the rent for this little cubbyhole? $1,100 a month. Only in New York.
– “Village Voice”

Worldwide, there are 8.6 million lightning strikes every day.
– List25.com


1971 [44] David Arquette, Winchester VA, LA nightclub owner (Bootsy Bellows)/movie actor (“Scream” movies)/brother of actresses Patricia & Rosanna Arquette

1971 [44] Martin Freeman, Aldershot UK, TV actor (‘Dr John Watson’ on “Sherlock” since 2010, ‘Lester Nygaard’ on “Fargo” 2014)/movie actor (“The Hobbit” trilogy)  COMING UP: “Captain America: Civil War” 2016; “The Taliban Shuffle” 2016.

1979 [36] P!nk (Alecia Moore), Doylestown PA, pop singer (f/Nate Ruess-“Just Give Me a Reason”)

1987 [28] Wiz Khalifa (Cameron Thomaz), Minot ND, rap artist (f/Charlie Puth-“See You Again”)

1989 [26] Avicii (Tim Bergling), Stockholm, Sweden, EDM DJ (“Wake Me Up”)/#6 on “DJ Magazine” Top 100 DJs 2015)  BS FACTOID: “Billboard” reports he’s postponed all remaining performances this year. He’ll get back on the road next year after a ‘well deserved break’.

• “Another Look Day”, to encourage us to take another look at our home, garage, attic, yard, etc and donate anything useless that’s lying around to charity.

• “International Literacy Day”, established by the UN in 1965 to promote reading & writing programs. Worldwide, 1-in-5 adults are illiterate, and 75 million children are not in school. Millions of young people leave school without a level of literacy adequate for productive and active participation in today’s information society.

• “Nose Hair Maintenance Day”, your annual opportunity to take proper care of nose hair by trimming, styling, brushing or some such thing. Braids, anyone?
NET: http://tinyurl.com/pq78lk6

• “Pediatric Hematology/Oncology Nurses Day”, honoring the special RNs who are dedicated to providing the highest standard of care to patients with cancer and blood disorders.

• “World Physical Therapy Day”, initiated in 1951 to recognize the work that physical therapists do for their patients and community. (What’s the strangest physio you’ve endured? Perhaps acupuncture needles … connected to electricity?)
NET: http://www.wcpt.org/wptday

2014 [01] Prince William & Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, announce they are expecting their 2nd child (Princess Charlotte); baby Prince George has celebrated his 1st birthday just 2 months previously

2003 [12] RIAA begins suing individual sharers of copyrighted mp3 files

2006 [09] Country singer Toby Keith makes his bigscreen debut, producing and starring in the movie “Broken Bridges”

2003 [12] To celebrate the release of his latest album “Reality”, David Bowie performs the 1st ‘interactive concert’, broadcast to 21 theaters across the UK and allowing the singer to take requests through microphones connected to the Internet

1965 [50] Kansas City Athletics’ Bert Campaneris plays all 9 positions in a single Major League Baseball game (not at once, of course)

[Wed] Wonderful Weirdoes Day
[Thurs] 40th Toronto International Film Festival opens (Toronto ON)
[Thurs] Bestival begins (Isle of Wight UK)
[Fri] “The Perfect Guy”; “The Visit” open in movie theaters
[Fri] 9/11 Remembrance Day
[Fri] Stand Up to Cancer Day
This Week Is … Waffle Week
This Month Is … Service Dog Month


✓ Homework is a collaborative effort … a shortcut to the answers is just a text away.
✓ Your parents will embarrass you somehow even when they’re not trying to.
✓ Everybody’s always changing the rules of math and it’s not your fault.
✓ Boys – Anything goes. Girls – “Hide your shoulders, this is not a brothel!”
✓ WW3 could happen and your mom would still find a way to get you there in time for 1st period.
✓ You’ll never forget how to solve for ‘x’, but you’ll never need to in your entire lifetime.
✓ Biologists are only now beginning to understand the biome that exists under every school desk.
✓ Teachers get hangovers too.
– Adapted from BuzzFeed.com

☎ It’s “Substitute Teacher Appreciation Week”. What’s the cruelest thing your class ever did to a ‘sub’?

Which will the average guy do 34 times a year?
a. Tell a bad joke. [CORRECT]
b. Clean the bathroom.
c. Wash his underwear.

My favorite athletes are racehorses. They never give interviews.

Question: On average we do THIS every year-and-a-half nowadays.
Answer: Buy a new phone.

When money talks there are few interruptions.

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