Friday, September 9, 2011                   Edition: #4583
Never Accept a Generic – Ask For Pure “BS”!

“Esquire” magazine’s latest ‘Sexiest Woman Of the Year’ title goes to “30 Rock” star Katrina Bowden, who staved off competition from 63 others to take the honor (darn, we were betting on Betty White) . . . 47-year-old Oscar-winning actress Sandra Bullock (“The Blind Side”) is denying this week’s tabloid reports suggesting she’s pregnant with actor Ryan Reynolds’ baby and that he’s agreed to become her son Louis’ adoptive dad (still no word on the alien abduction rumor however) . . . 35-year-old Oscar-winning actress Reese Witherspoon (“Walk the Line”) is recovering at home from minor injuries received when she was hit by a car while jogging (another reason not to exercise!) . . . An inside source tells “People” magazine that movie star George Clooney (50) & former WWE star and “Dancing With the Stars” contestant Stacy Keibler (31) are still dating (sorry, ladies!) . . . Sorta famous person Lauren Conrad is selling the house she lived in during the filming of “The Hills” (for only $2.25 million, you can pretend you’re in a now-cancelled MTV reality series) . . . First “Harry Potter” actor Daniel Radcliffe had the part, then “Glee” star Darren Criss, and now Nick Jonas (Jonas Bros) is taking on the lead role in the Broadway production of “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying” (this is known as ‘stunt-casting’) . . . And reports say that Jessica Simpson and Nicole Richie are at each other’s throats on the set of Elle Macpherson’s “Fashion Star”, the now-shooting new NBC-TV reality competition (forget the likely lame show … we’d pay to watch the catfight!).

• “Backstory: Lady Antebellum” (GAC) – Sunday the biographical story of 2 friends from Georgia (Dave Haywood, Charles Kelley) and a chance 2006 meeting with a 2nd-generation country singer (Hillary Scott) that led to music superstardom.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Today Taylor Swift (“Speak Now”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Tonight Kristin Chenoweth (“Some Lessons Learned”, out September 13th).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Lykke Li (“Wounded Rhymes”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight Brie Larson (“Finally Out of PE”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Pearl Jam’s 2nd consecutive appearance promoting their new “Pearl Jam Twenty” documentary.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Tonight Typhoon (“New Kind of House”). Rerun.
• “The Love We Make” (Showtime) – Saturday Paul McCartney’s black & white documentary film about the charity concert he staged in NYC after 9/11 includes rehearsal footage and a number of celebrity cameos, as well as McCartney talking to New Yorkers.
• Polaris Music Prize – Tonight the winner of the annual $30,000-prize for Canadian album of the year is announced at a gala in Toronto. Arcade Fire’s “The Suburbs” is on the shortlist of 10 finalists.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Tina Fey (“30 Rock”); musical guest Ellie Goulding (“Lights/Bright Lights”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Rock & Roll Hall of Famer Alice Cooper.
• Virgin Mobile FreeFest (Columbia MD) – Saturday this 3rd annual free music festival includes performances by the Black Keys, Cee Lo Green, Deadmau5, Grace Potter & the Nocturnals, TV On the Radio and more. Tickets are ‘free’d-out’. Some fans earned theirs through community volunteering.
• “Zhangjiajie International Country Music Week” – Saturday the 2nd annual week-long country festival begins at this UNESCO World Heritage site in central China. More than 30 country music bands from around-the-world are scheduled. Odd, no?

• Alan Jackson – Sunday he performs at the Washington National Cathedral as part of “A Call to Compassion”, a 3-day commemoration of the 10th anniversary of 9/11. In the aftermath of the disaster, he wrote the heart-tugging hit “Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)”.
• Black Eyed Peas – They have raised over $1.3 million to help flood recovery efforts in Minot, North Dakota after playing a benefit concert last weekend at the North Dakota State Fair Grandstand.
• Keith Urban – Describing his new fragrance for men, ‘Phoenix’, he says: “I wanted something sensual but also a strong masculinity, that didn’t have metrosexuality to it.”
• Lady Antebellum – Today their new video “We Owned the Night” premieres on CMT and Sunday they’ll sing the anthem prior to the Dallas Cowboys-New York Jets game in East Rutherford NJ.
• Lil Wayne – “Tha Carter IV” has become Weezy’s 3rd #1 album according to Nielsen SoundScan, debuting with sales of 964,000 units … just shy of “A Milli”.
• Lionel Richie – He’s pulled out of BBC Radio 2’s “Live In Hyde Park” concert in London on Sunday due to illness. He’s also reportedly halted the recording of a planned new album.
• Pearl Jam – Saturday the documentary “Pearl Jam Twenty”, directed by Cameron Crowe, premieres at the Toronto International Film Festival. It’s released worldwide on September 20th in select theaters for one night only, followed by a full-week run in key markets.

• “Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Nick Swardson (“Reno 911!”) stars as a nerdy guy who learns that his parents were adult film stars in the 1970s, so he leaves his home in northern Iowa for Hollywood, hoping to follow in their footsteps. Don Johnson plays the down-and-out director who takes him under his wing. Co-stars Christina Ricci.
• “Contagion” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, and Jude Law star in this Steven Soderbergh thriller about an international team of doctors dispatched by the Centers for Disease Control to stop an airborne virus from spreading around-the-world. Co-stars     Gwyneth Paltrow, Laurence Fishburne. Also screening in the IMAX format.
• “Warrior” ( PG-13 Sports Drama ): Tom Hardy (“Inception”) plays an ex-Marine who returns to his hometown of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to train for a mixed martial arts tournament with a major prize. Nick Nolte co-stars as his father, an alcoholic former coach; Joel Edgerton plays his older brother and potential rival.

As ranked in a newly-released “Rolling Stone” magazine readers’ poll …
5. Chumbawamba . . . “Tubthumping”
4. Vanilla Ice . . . “Ice Ice Baby”
3. Billy Ray Cyrus . . . “Achy Breaky Heart”
2. Los Del Rio . . . “La Macarena”
1. Aqua . . . “Barbie Girl”

• A newly-renovated arts center in Cedar Rapids, Iowa is selling the naming rights to … its toilets. For just $1,000, donors can christen any of the 6 urinals or 15 toilets in the 110-year-old hall, which recently underwent a $7-million renovation. Each tax-deductible donation will be recognized with an engraved plaque over the fixture of the donor’s choice. (Photo targets are extra.)
– “Des Moines Register”
• At the taxpayer-funded Egalia preschool in Stockholm, Sweden, gender equality is not just recommended … it’s demanded. Encouraging girls to play with trucks and boys with toy kitchens might seem innocuous, but this progressive preschool ratchets up the rules further. Referring to someone as ‘he’ or ‘she’ is not allowed; only ‘friend’ will do. (Many of the graduates move on to Androgynous Elementary.)
– “Christian Science Monitor”
• Senior citizens in Berlin, Germany are now being offered courses in … graffiti. For most, it’s their first time wielding a spray-can. The endeavor was designed as a way to bridge the generation gap but some participants (often bespectacled and as old as 80) have gone rogue with their new hobby, tagging city streets using skills learned in class. (Recently-spotted tag on the Brandenburg Gate: “I gotta a gummer from Oma Schmidt!”)
– “Der Spiegel”

We nearly always pick items from the middle shelf in supermarkets.
– “Daily Mail”


1952 [59] Dave Stewart, Sunderland UK, record producer/classic rock musician (Eurythmics-“Sweet Dreams”, “Here Comes the Rain Again”)

1960 [51] Hugh Grant, London UK, movie actor (“About a Boy”, “Bridget Jones” films)

1966 [45] Adam Sandler, Brooklyn NY, movie actor/producer (“Grown Ups”, “The Wedding Singer”)

1969 [42] Rachel Hunter, Auckland, New Zealand, fashion model (“Sports Illustrated”, “Cosmopolitan”, “Playboy”)/TV personality (“Celebrity Circus”, “Dancing With the Stars”)/former Mrs Rod Stewart (1990-99)

1971 [40] Eric Stonestreet, Kansas City KS, TV actor (‘Cameron Tucker’ on “Modern Family” since 2009)

1975 [36] Michael Bublé, Burnaby BC, pop/jazz singer (“Haven’t Met You Yet”, “Home”)

1980 [31] Michelle Williams, Kalispell MT, movie actress (“Shutter Island”, “Brokeback Mountain”)/former TV actress (“Dawson’s Creek” 1998-2003)/Heath Ledger’s baby mama

TV personality Bill O’Reilly (“The O’Reilly Factor”) is 62; Rock guitarist Joe Perry (Aerosmith) is 61; Movie actor Colin Firth (“The King’s Speech”) is 51; Rock guitarist Stevie D (Buckcherry) is 45; Movie director Guy Ritchie (“Sherlock Holmes”) is 43; Movie actor Ryan Phillippe (“The Lincoln Lawyer”) is 37; Rock bassist Mikey Way (My Chemical Romance) is 31; Rock guitarist Matthew Followill (Kings of Leon) is 27.

Pop singer/actor Harry Connick Jr (“Your Songs”) is 44; Rock guitarist Jon Buckland (Coldplay) is 34; Rapper/actor Ludacris (“Money Maker”) is 34; Country/pop singer Charles Kelley (Lady Antebellum) is 30.

• “Expectant Father’s Day”, a day for neglected first-time dads to get some much needed recognition.
• “New York Fashion Week” through September 15 in NYC, when we find out what’s hot and what’s not for Spring 2012.
• “One Arm Dove Hunt”, the 40th annual 2-day event in Olney, Texas that’s open to anyone with the use of only one arm or hand. Additional events include the ‘Glove Swap’, ‘One Arm Jokes’, ‘One Arm Golf’, and ‘Cow Chip Chunkin’: Amputee vs Politician’. You’ve got to hand it to them … they’ve got a sense of humor.
• “Teddy Bear Day”, honoring the first and most popular plush animal that was inspired by the helpless cub US President Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot while hunting in 1902. Morris & Rose Mitchom, owners of a Brooklyn NY candy store, took credit for creating the 1st ‘Teddy Bear’ shortly after that incident, but it may be that renowned German toymaker Steiff was already making bears by then.
• “Wonderful Weirdos Day”, saluting all people who are … well, kinda quirky. Know any?

• “Federal Lands Cleanup Day”, an annual event on the 1st Saturday after Labor Day. So help out a litter bit, ok?
• “Sewing Machine Day”, on the date that the sewing machine was patented in 1846. What’s the ugliest thing mom ever whipped up on hers for you to wear?
• “Swap Ideas Day”, set aside to encourage us to collaborate on creative thinking and new solutions to old problems. (So your co-workers can take all the credit.)

• “9/11 Remembrance Day”, the 10th anniversary of the terrorist attacks on NYC and Washington DC involving commercial airliners. Sunday morning the long-awaited ‘National 9/11 Memorial’ will be dedicated at Ground Zero in Lower Manhattan.
• “Grandparents’ Day”, originated in 1978 to honor the folks who get to spoil our kids rotten without paying any consequences. Observed annually the 1st Sunday after Labor Day.
• “Hug Your Hound Day”, observed annually on the 2nd Sunday of September to encourage awareness of the need for both human-friendly and dog-friendly use of urban spaces.
• “Make Your Bed Day”. What, once a year? Were you born in a barn?
• “Tricky Handshake Day”. Remember they only count if you spit on your hand first!

1926 [85] RCA launches the National Broadcasting Company (NBC)

1956 [55] Elvis Presley makes the first of 3 contracted appearances on “The Ed Sullivan Show” (CBS)

1978 [33] World’s 1st ‘Chicken Museum’ is opened by KFC founder Colonel Harland Sanders to celebrate his 88th birthday (Louisville, Kentucky)

1995 [16] 1st ‘Sony PlayStation’ goes on sale

1999 [12] Nicholas Stephen Wadle is born in Beloit, Wisconsin at 9:09 am on the 9th day of the 9th month of 1999; his weight … 9 lbs, 9 oz

[Mon] “Gaga By Gaultier” airs (CW)
[Mon] Canadian Country Music Awards (Hamilton ON)
[Mon] Boss-Employee Exchange Day
[Mon] Videogames Day
[Tues] International Chocolate Day
[Tues] Season debuts of “90210” (CW); “Parenthood” (NBC/Global); “Ringer” (CW/Global)
This Week Is … National 5-A-Day Week (fruits & vegetables)
This Month Is … Cholesteral Education & Awareness Month


• Street Gangs Carrying Judges’ Gavels
• Trance-Polka Fusion Music
• Beef Jerky Toothpaste
• Pubic Bangs
• After-School Pedicure Clubs
• Sport Fertility Vehicles
• Acne-Curing Leeches
• Retro Pharmaceuticals
• Inter-Species Adoptions
• Anonymous Friendships
– Adapted from

I found a new way to force myself to do sit-ups. I put the TV remote between my toes.

What was the first thing you did when you heard about 9/11?

Question: When it comes to marriage proposals, 23% of men now do it THIS way.
Answer: In a text message.

Only humans make waste that nature can’t digest.

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