Wednesday, April 27, 2005        Edition: #3021
Deja Moo!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
ABC-TV will air its special 1-hour, behind-the-scenes ‘investigation’ of improprieties on “American Idol” on next WEDNESDAY’s “Primetime Live” (wouldn’t have anything to do with slamming rival FOX-TV during the MAY sweeps, would it?) . . . The cast of NBC-TV’s “Will & Grace” are each getting a 50% raise to come back for an 8th and perhaps final season – bumping their pay to $600,000 per episode . . . Former “West Wing” star Rob Lowe is moving to London’s West End, performing in a stage version of “A Few Good Men” in the role made famous by Tom Cruise (written by former “West Wing” writer/producer Aaron Sorkin) . . . Tickets for the “Star Wars” marathon of all 6 episodes, screening in London MAY 16th, have sold out – in 5 minutes! . . . A judge has tossed out a stalking charge against movie actor Colin Farrell after it was determined – he’d never met his accuser . . . Jennifer Aniston is reportedly buying a $9.5-million Malibu mansion next door to “Friends” pal Courteney Cox Arquette (seems she’s dumping that hovel she shared with Brad) . . . Pop-culture vigilantes ‘HOPE’ (Horrified Observers of Pedestrian Entertainment) are offering prizes for the best ‘tributes’ paid to Ryan Seacrest’s new star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame – defiling, disrespecting & defecating are all allowed! (http://hopeinamerica.com) . . . And reportedly among the goodies newlywed celeb couple Rob Mariano & Amber Brkich (“Amazing Race 7″/”Survivor: All-Stars”) registered for as wedding gifts at a Target store and a Bed Bath & Beyond were – a 2-pack of Scotch Brite scouring pads ($2.24) and a Palace Classic Toilet Brush ($19.99).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alicia Keys – She’s working on an autobiography that will cover her tough childhood in NYC’s Hell’s Kitchen neighborhood, her musical education and rise to stardom.
• Clay Aiken – He’s having a debit card aimed at teens named after him. (It should be aimed at 50+ women.)
• Dixie Chicks – Just like her sister Martie Maguire, Emily Robison has given birth to twins, named Julianna Tex & Henry Benjamin. (She named her girl ‘Tex’?)
• The Game – He’s been slapped with a $280-million lawsuit for allegedly assaulting WKYS Washington DC’s DJ Zxulu. The suit claims a group of 20 men attacked the radio host after a lame joke, causing him to be hospitalized with multiple injuries. (Let that be a lesson to you!)
• Madonna – She’ll voice a role in the upcoming animated flick “Puss in Boots”, which will star Antonio Banderas in a spin-off from “Shrek 2″.
• OutKast – Andre 3000 will star, co-produce and write original tunes for a contemporary movie musical in which he’ll play a dude with magical powers who changes the lives of a family.

BS BUZZWORDS:
Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Infomania’ – A temporary period of enhanced stupidity caused by overuse of text messages and e-mails. A University of London study finds it can lower IQ by as much as 10 points – more than twice as much as cannabis use.
• ‘Overuse Syndrome’ – It was first thought that video game players were most susceptible to these stress injuries (such as tendinitis) from handheld electronic devices, but now orthopedists say adults are more prone to get them. Why? Kids’ bodies are more tolerant of overuse than adults simply because they are younger.
• ‘Illanaaq the Inukshuk’ – It’s been unveiled as the official logo of the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, but it turns out it’s not an ‘Inukshuk’ (in-uk-shook) at all. That refers to a traditional Inuit stone marker used as a sign or reminder while ‘Illanaaq’ (ih-lah-nawk) represents a person, which would make it an ‘inunnguaq’ (in-uhn-gwak). By the way, Illanaaq is Inuktitut for ‘friend’.

MORE BS BOT BITS:
• Just call it ‘Team Bot’ – researchers at Ottawa-based Frontline Robotics have created robots which work as a team with an elected leader making the best decisions for the group. (ANI)
• Remote-controlled rats – rodents with brain implants – are being developed to scour enemy bases and sniff out explosives for the US military. (“New Scientist”)
• The world’s first ‘robocop’ has been promoted to police chief for a day in Fukuoka, Japan. ‘T63 Artemis’, a 5 ft-2 in, 220-lb bot, was put in charge of traffic safety, handing out flyers at a train station. (“Mail & Guardian”)

WORLD’S BEST RESTAURANTS 2005:
According to “Restaurant” magazine’s poll of more than 500 chefs and experts, here’s where you’ll find the best eats anywhere …
1. The Fat Duck Bray, Berkshire, England
2. El Bulli, Montjoi, Spain
3. The French Laundry, Yountville, California
4. Tetsuya’s, Sydney, Australia
5. Gordon Ramsay, London UK
– AFP

TRUE BS CRIME:
• A 59-year-old Oshkosh WI woman convicted of embezzling $3,000 from labor union accounts has been given an odd sentence from a judge – either spend 90 days in jail or donate her family’s Green Bay Packers tickets for 3 games next season to the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
• An African gunman who tried to rob the Mali Development Bank was busted after his invisible charms failed to work. The man in his 30s was wearing 15 kilos (33 lbs) of gris-gris (gree-gree), supposedly magical talismans, that he believed made him invisible. Seems they didn’t work on the cops – they shot him, then arrested him.

BS EXCUSES FROM DRIVERS:
• “I had too much wine at confession.”
• “I was dosing a horse with ether-alcohol and it sneezed on me.”
• “An ice-scraper jammed under the accelerator.”
• “I picked up a hitchhiker and let him drive.”
• “There were 2 flies mating on the windshield and I was driving fast in an attempt to blow them off so my 9-year-old daughter wouldn’t see what was going on.”
(So what’s the best one you’ve ever heard?)
– “Social Studies”

BEST AGE TO GIVE BIRTH:
Here’s some great news for women who’ve decided to concentrate on their career before having a family. According to a new joint study by the National Institute of Aging and the National Institute of Mental Health, the absolute best age for a woman to give birth is, perhaps surprisingly, 34! The sociologists say a mother of that age will enjoy far better long-term health than a woman who gives birth at 18. The study shows that a woman who has her first child at 34 is likely to be, in health terms, 14 years younger than a woman who gives birth at 18. (Yeah, but you have to wait until you’re 112 to be a grandma.)
– “Herald-Sun”

ANTI-TV GUERRILLAS:
THIS WEEK is “TV-Turnoff Week” and a band of anti-TV guerrillas in Britain is using an odd way of getting the message out. They’re taking direct action against TV in public places using a new gizmo called ‘TV-B-Gone’. The glorified remote control, about the size of a key ring, turns off TV sets within a 45-foot radius. The protesters, known as ‘White Dot‘,  plan to visit restaurants, bars and other public places they believe are ruined by the presence of TV and forcibly turn off the sets, leaving behind posters protesting how background TV hum has replaced the art of conversation. The group’s motto is – “Turn off that TV set, go outside and live!” (We’re forming ‘Red Earlobe’, a group that grabs cellphones from people yakking in public areas and throws them as far away as possible.)
– “The Guardian”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A snapshot of who we are and what we think …
• 75% of women polled say the #1 thing that will kill a relationship is whining.
• 74% of Canadians say no other game can replace watching hockey.
• 56% of women think that ‘love handles’ are kind of cute.
• 44% of Canadians think the CN Tower is Canada’s most famous landmark.
• 35% of young adults the key attraction in their search for love is the opposite person’s hair.
• 25% of people say that if they could change 1 thing about themselves it would be their name.
• 20% of new singles say the hardest part of breaking up is getting your stuff  back.
• 11% of women absolutely refuse to wear bowling shoes … ever.

BS AMAZING FACT:
The average office worker spends 50 minutes a day looking for lost files and other items.

AND WE QUOTE:
“There’s no underhandedness going on behind the scenes. Paula, to be fair to her, will spend more time backstage with the contestants giving encouragement. But that’s not a bad thing. I think [the accusations] are rubbish. I think this is a guy who’s out there to publish a book.”
– Simon Cowell telling “Extra” there’s no truth to the charge that Paula Abdul has been giving some “American Idol” contestants extra ‘help’.

THE BULL SHEET 04.27.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [57] Katie Pierson, Athens GA, classic rock singer (B-52’s-“Love Shack”)

1951 [54] Paul (‘Ace’) Frehley, Bronx NY, classic rock singer/guitarist (KISS-“Rock ‘n Roll All Nite”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Administrative Professionals Day”, begun in 1952 (as “Secretaries’ Day”) to honor administrative staff for their efforts and to attract more people to office careers. It’s now the largest workplace observance outside of major holidays. 5 years ago “Professional Secretaries Day” was changed to “Administrative Professionals Day” to keep pace with the changing job titles and expanded responsibilities of today’s administrative workers.
NET: http://www.iaap-hq.org/apw/apwindex.htm

TODAY is “National Hairball Awareness Day”. Any cat owner who’s ever stepped on a fresh wet one is already well aware!

TODAY is “Child Care Professionals Day”, to help us understand and appreciate the role of child care providers in children’s development. (That’s why those security cameras hidden in lamps were invented.)

TOMORROW is “Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day” in the USA, Britain and parts of Africa. So, are you bringing your kid into the studio?
PHONER: 800.676.7780 (Ms Foundation for Women)
NET: http://www.daughtersandsonstowork.org

THIS WEEK is “Canada-United States Goodwill Week”, sponsored by Kiwanis International to bring about a better understanding of the subtle differences in the Canadian and American ways of life. (Form a circle. Discuss.)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2000 [05] “Tonight Show” host Jay Leno gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1965 [40] RC Duncan patents 1st ‘Pampers’ disposable diapers

1981 [24] ‘Computer Mouse’ is introduced as part of a $16,000 Xerox computer system (Douglas Englebart had patented his ‘X-Y Position Indicator for a Display System’ way back in 1970)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1972 [33] Mayor of Scarborough UK gulps 500 oysters in record 48 minutes, 7 seconds

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Kiss Your Mate Day
[Thurs] Great Poetry Reading Day
[Thurs] Day of Remembrance for Persons Killed or Injured in the Workplace
[Fri] Zipper Day
[Fri] Puppetry Day
[Sat-May 15] World Hockey Championships (Austria)
[Sat] Hairstylist Appreciation Day
[Sat] Honesty Day
[Sat] International Walk Day
[Mon] Canadian Income Tax deadline
This Week Is . . . Lingerie Week
This Month Is . . . Anxiety Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS SIGNS YOU’RE NO LONGER A KID:
• You can live without sex but not without glasses.
• You quit trying to hold your stomach in … no matter who walks into the room.
• Your friend is dating someone half their age … and isn’t breaking any laws.
• You sing along with elevator music.
• You can’t remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch TV.
• You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.
• People call at 9 pm and ask, “Did I wake you up?”

BS ‘ACTOR OR STAR’?
Canadian movie director Norman Jewison says Hollywood has ‘movie stars’ and ‘actors’, and he’d far rather work with the latter. Run down the following list and have a guest label each ‘movie star’ or ‘actor’ … John Travolta, Sean Penn, Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise, Samuel L Jackson, Ashton Kutcher, William H Macy, Sandra Bullock, Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore.

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• She’s a bilingual illiterate … she can’t read in 2 different languages.
• Hey, we’re having my 10-year high school class reunion … it’s a keg party in the woods.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A third of us take THIS to work with us every day but hardly ever use it.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A change of clothes.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.