Friday, April 27, 2001 Edition: #2043
BS THINGS YOU MIGHT SEE ON ‘CELEBRITY SURVIVOR’:
• After eating a tablespoon of rice per day for 40 days, Calista Flockhart gains 25 lbs.
• While everyone else hunts for food, Robert Downey Jr searches for smokable plant life.
• P Diddy gets to stay on a technicality when contestants write ‘Puff Daddy’ on their ballots.
• Ellen DeGeneres has sexual relations with ‘Immunity Idol’.
• After camp is destroyed, survivors rebuild their shelter using Camryn Manheim’s mumu.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
You can tell TV ratings are on – SUNDAY “Star Wars: Episode One — The Phantom Menace” airs on TV for the first time on FOX/CTV . . . Also SUNDAY Mrs Eddie Van Halen, Valerie Bertinelli, makes her debut as a regular on CBS-TV’s “Touched by an Angel” (but the title will be changed to “Touched by a Rock Star”) . . . Buzz is Anne Robinson is pulling down over $20 million to host “The Weakest Link”, but NBC thinks its money well spent and have ordered up another 13 episodes . . . Rosie O’ Donnell is suffering from a staph infection that’s a form of ‘flesh eating disease’ (she’s expected to survive for 300 years) . . . This may go down as the summer of ‘wrinkle rock’ as a slew of has-beens have announced tours, including the Eagles, Beach Boys, Neil Young, Roxy Music, and Bill Wyman.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
The $85-million comedy “Town and Country” began shooting before the script was even finished and has been snakebit ever since, much to the dismay of stars Warren Beatty, Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn, Garry Shandling, Andie MacDowell and Jenna Elfman (hey Warren, remember “Ishtar”?) . . . Sylvester Stallone stars in “Driven”, an auto racing thriller about a former CART champion called in to give guidance to a young hot shot (“Rocky” at 200 mph) . . . Liv Tyler plays a beautiful young woman who wreaks havoc on the lives of various men in the comedy “One Night at McCool’s” (the eclectic supporting cast includes Matt Dillon, John Goodman, Paul Reiser, Michael Douglas, Andrew Dice Clay and Reba McEntire) . . . And in the horror flick “The Forsaken”, Kerr Smith (‘Jack’ on “Dawson’s Creek”) gets into a war against vampires.
ONLY IN CANADA:
• The TD Bank says Canada may eventually be forced to adopt the US dollar as our national currency. (Because after they deduct all their nickel & dime service fees there’s nothing left of a Canadian buck.)
• Demand for transplant organs continues to outstrip supply in Canada and increasingly, patients in need are forced to get organs from living donors. (Health Canada hopes to raise awareness with its “Who the Hell Needs 2 Kidneys Anyway?” campaign which urges Canadians to donate organs — and die sooner if possible.)
• A Campbell River BC family has filed a complaint with Continental Airlines claiming they were forced to sit next to a passenger who frothed at the mouth and died during their flight. (Just be thankful YOU didn’t order the chicken!)
• A new Ipsos-Reid poll shows that in the Alliance Party’s hotbed of Alberta, Stockwell Day is now the least popular federal leader, even trailing Jean Chrétien. (Who ranks slightly ahead of foot-and-mouth disease.)
THE BULL SHEET 04.27.01
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [53] Katie Pierson, Athens GA, classic rock singer (B-52’s-“Love Shack”)
1951 [50] Paul “Ace” Frehley, Bronx NY, classic rock singer/guitarist (KISS-“Rock ‘n Roll All Night”)
1963 [38] Joel Murray, Wilmette IL, TV actor (Pete Cavanaugh-“Dharma & Greg”)/Bill Murray’s bro’
1972 [29] David Lascher, Scarsdale NY, TV actor (Josh-“Sabrina the Teenage Witch”)
1975 [26] Chris Carpenter, Exeter NH, MLB starting pitcher (Toronto Blue Jays)
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1937 [64] Saddam Hussein (al-Tikriti), Takrit IRAQ, President of Iraq since 1979
1941 [60] Ann-Margret (Olsson), Valsjobyn SWE, movie actress (“Grumpy [Grumpier] Old Men”)
1950 [51] Jay Leno, New Rochelle NY, late night TV host (“The Tonight Show”, since 1992)
1966 [35] John Daly, Carmichael CA, long-driving pro golfer/admitted alcoholic
1981 [20] Jessica Alba, Pomona CA, TV actress (Sara Rutherds/Max Guevarra-“Dark Angel”)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• TODAY, the last Friday in April, is “National Disc Jockey Day”. Everyone talk deep!
• TODAY is “Tell A Story Day”, which either refers to reading to your children or calling in sick to work.
• THIS WEEK is “Canada-United States Goodwill Week”, sponsored by Kiwanis International to bring about a better understanding of the Canadian and American ways of life.
• TOMORROW is “National Hairball Awareness Day”. Any cat owner who’s ever stepped on a fresh wet one is already aware!
• TOMORROW is “Kiss Your Mate Day”, a day to share the pleasure of a kiss — when he or she least expects it. Studies show your kissing partner’s saliva can remain in your mouth for up to 3 days!
ONE YEAR AGO . . .
2000 Bruce Willis guest stars on “Friends” as a favor to Matthew Perry
2000 Jay Leno gets a star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1789 [212] 1st ‘road map’ published
1965 [36] 1st “Pampers” disposable diapers
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1972 [29] Mayor of Scarborough ENG gulps 500 oysters in record 48 mins, 7 secs
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sat] Astronomy Day
[Sun] National Shrimp Scampi Day
[Mon] National Honesty Day
[Mon] Canadian Income Tax deadline
Intergenerational Week (aka ‘Jack Nicholson Has a New Girlfriend Week’)
Zoo & Aquarium Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
BS TRIVIA:
Q: What US city proudly proclaims itself ‘The Toilet Paper Capital of The World’?
A: Green Bay, Wisconsin. (Source: “Useless Digest”)
BS TAG LINE: The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The realist knows that if he hangs around long enough, he’s gonna have to wash the damn glass.
