Tuesday, April 4, 2006        Edition: #3253
It’s ‘BS Saving Time’ – We Do The Prep FOR You!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Beginning TODAY, several Hollywood studios begin selling digital versions of films online the same day they become available on DVD, however they’ll only be viewable on computer as they can’t yet be burned to DVD (NET: http://movielink.com) . . . TODAY through April 19th the “Hong Kong Film Festival” reels, at which Jackie Chan will be among the special achievement honorees . . . Meantime, 51-year-old Jackie Chan is currently struggling to complete filming his new project “Rob-B-Hood”, after a stuntman wearing incorrect shoes kicked him in the chest causing injuries (you should never wear golf shoes on a movie set) . . . TODAY 74-year-old singer/actress Della Reese (best know for “Touched by an Angel”) is launching her own fashion line of ‘exciting clothes’ for bigger, older women on the Home Shopping Network (can’t wait to see those belly shirts) . . . Death Row Records founder Marion ‘Suge’ Knight has now missed several court hearings regarding the company’s finances, meaning the label that signed the likes of Tupac Shakur & Dr Dre is now likely to go into receivership and have its entire catalogue auctioned off . . . Hollywood mogul Steven Spielberg is looking at the idea of a reality TV show in which aspiring filmmakers vie to direct a movie which he will produce (so let’s see – they do the work & you collect the cash) . . . Brad Pitt is reportedly interested in buying himself a vineyard and has been looking at properties in Serralunga, Italy (not far from pal George Clooney’s Lake Como estate) . . . Angelina Jolie is reportedly set to tell her life story in an autobiography, chronicling her Hollywood career and experiences traveling the globe (from the lofty vantage point of 30 years of age) . . . Toshiba has become the first company out of the gate marketing HD DVD players, but they’re initially only available in Japan for circa $1,000 (in case you have a yen for one) . . . And Paula Abdul’s 3-year renewed contract for “American Idol” is reportedly worth somewhere between $5- and $8-million … per season (seems sometimes you DON’T get what you pay for).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• All-American Rejects – TONIGHT they appear on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Clint Black – TONIGHT he reopens the Crystal Palace, Buck Owens’ music venue in Bakersfield CA which has been closed since Owens’ death MARCH 25th.
• Madonna – Her summer tour in support of “Confessions on a Dance Floor” will begin MAY 21st in Los Angeles and continue through SEPTEMBER 3rd in Amsterdam, the Netherlands.
• Rascal Flatts – TODAY the country chart-toppers guest on “Good Morning America”, just as their 4th album, “Me and My Gang”, is released.
• The Strokes – TONIGHT they perform on “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• Tim McGraw – TODAY he does the “Ellen DeGeneres Show”.
• U2 – Bono is PO-ed that Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi has used his picture in some 10 million election campaign brochures without permission, especially since Italy gave the least aid of all the world’s wealthy nations toward writing off Third World debt.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Brokeback Mountain” ( Romantic Drama – DVD ): One of the few films to be released on DVD while it’s still in theaters, the ‘gay cowboy movie’ won a ‘Best Director’ Oscar for Ang Lee but failed to take home ‘Best Film’ as many expected. Stars Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal, and an apparently vastly underpaid whiner, Randy Quaid. Shot in Calgary, Fort Macleod AB & vicinity.
• “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe” ( Family Adventure – DVD): The CS Lewis classic about 4 kids who travel through a wardrobe and learn their destiny to free the land of ‘Narnia’ with the guidance of a lion messiah. The every definition of a blockbuster, it earned close to $720 million at the box office worldwide.
• “Bee Season” (Drama – DVD ): Richard Gere plays a university prof who avoids his collapsing marriage by immersing himself in his 11-year-old daughter’s quest to become a spelling bee champ. Juliette Binoche plays the long-suffering wife caught in a downward emotional spiral. Wow, sounds like fun, huh? Hope it comes with a couple tabs of Prozac.
• Also on DVD TODAY: A new packaging of the “Academy Award”-winner “Crash”, the ‘2-Disc Director’s Cut Edition’; Dolly Parton, Jane Fonda & Lily Tomlin in “9 to 5: The Sexist, Egotistical, Lying, Hypocritical Bigot Edition”, celebrating the film’s 25th anniversary (Parton is currently working on a Broadway version of the movie, slated for a Fall 2007 premiere); and the Mae West collection, “I’m No Angel”, with 5 of her raciest films on 2 discs.

WHY HOMEWORK TAKES LONGER:
Today’s kids have been labelled ‘Generation M’ … for ‘Multitasking’. If you’ve ever watched your teen do homework, you’ll know why. They’re on the computer while surfing the Web, listening to  MPEGs, instant messaging friends & talking on a cellphone – simultaneously. Now for the first time, a new study shows that that kind of multitasking can cost you big time. Researchers have found that kids tackling homework while sending messages via the Internet often end up spending 50% longer on it than if they’d done each task separately. (But how are you supposed to get the answers that way?)
– “Times of London”

BS AMAZING FACT:
Redheads can withstand up to 25% more pain than brunettes.
– “Mental Floss”

BORN UNDER THE DOLLAR SIGN?
If you are a Virgo, we’ve got some good news for you. Turns out more billionaires share that zodiac sign than any other. More than 70 of the world’s 793 billionaires, or roughly 12%, were born between August 23rd and September 22nd, making that sign the most common among billionaires. (Unfortunately, just being Virgo the Virgin won’t make you rich … ask any Hollywood starlet.)
– “Forbes Magazine”

DID YOU KNOW?
There are approximately 32 million blogs currently on the Internet.

KEEP YOUR KID BUSY:
If you think your kid is safer sitting at home watching TV than out in the streets on a skateboard, think again. A new University of North Carolina study has found that teens who participate in physical activities, particularly with their parents, are at decreased risk for drinking, drugs, violence, smoking, sex and delinquency, compared to teens who watch a lot of TV. (But at far greater risk of living at home beyond the age of 30.)
– ANI

BY THE NUMBERS:
A snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 70% of men shop for clothes on their own.  
• 60% of pet owners have used a computer password that contains their pet’s name.
• 40% of us would use someone else’s toothbrush … in ‘an emergency’.
• 21% of us think it’s morally acceptable to cheat on income taxes.
• 20% of cats lack the gene that allows them to get high from catnip.
• 11% of newlyweds either move in with parents … or vice versa.

THE WALLS REALLY DO HAVE EARS:
The US Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency has developed the hand-held ‘Radar Scope’, a new device for listening through walls. It’s so sensitive it can hear a shallow breath being taken 50 feet behind a 12-inch-thick concrete wall. The new gizmo is expected to be used THIS YEAR in operations in Iraq. It runs on double-A batteries … not included. (A vast improvement on the old drinking glass against the wall method.)
– “Focus Magazine”

AND WE QUOTE:
“Stone appears to have had so much work done that her face resembles a tautly-made bed, and her unchanging expression of smoldering arrogance seems less an acting decision and more the result of neurotoxins.”
– “NY Times” review of Sharon Stone’s “Basic Instinct 2″. So … it’s a hit then?

THE HOTTEST CARS ON THE MARKET:
Seems we’re thinking smaller and more fuel efficient. Just take a look at the most popular new cars now on the market …
5. Lexus RX400h (gas-electric hybrid)
4. Toyota Scion xA/xB/tC (economy small wagon/van/coupe)
3. Pontiac Solstice (convertible sports car)
2. Mini Cooper (sporty retro-classic)
1. Toyota Prius (gas-electric hybrid)
– CNN Money

THE BULL SHEET 04.04.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1956 [50] David E Kelley, Waterville ME, TV producer/writer (“Boston Legal” since 2004, “The Practice” 1997-2004, “Ally McBeal” 1997-2002)/Mr Michelle Pfeiffer since 1993

1965 [41] Robert Downey Jr, NYC, movie actor (“Shaggy Dog”, “Good Night & Good Luck”)

1971 [35] Clay Davidson, Saltville VA, country singer (“I Can’t Lie To Me”, “Sometimes”)

1973 [33] David Blaine (White), Brooklyn NY, magician who’s been suspended over the River Thames for 44 days, buried alive and frozen in a block of ice

1979 [27] Natasha Lyonne (Braunstein), NYC, movie actress (“Blade: Trinity”, “American Pie”)

1979 [27] Heath Ledger, Perth, Australia, movie actor (“Brokeback Mountain”, “Casanova”)

1991 [15] Jamie Lynn Spears, McComb MS, Britney Spears’ younger sister who’s also a wannabe star (on the weekend she won the 2006 “Kids’ Choice Award” for ‘Best TV Actress’ for Nickelodeon’s “Zoey 101″)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
“Ballroom Dancing Day”, celebrating the activity that’s hot once again thanks to TV shows like “Dancing With the Stars” and “So You Think You Can Dance”, and movies like Shall We Dance” and the new Antonio Banderas film, “Take the Lead”, opening this FRIDAY.

“Tell-A-Lie Day”, a good day to ask listeners to add to the list of ‘World’s Greatest Lies’ (“The cheque’s in the mail”, etc). How about …
• I’m from your government, and I’m here to help you.
• It’s only a cold sore.
• You get this one, I’ll pay next time.
• Don’t worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gas gauge is on ‘Empty’.
• Your call is very important to us. Please hold, and a customer service representative will be with you shortly …. your call is very important to us …
• Don’t worry, he’s never bitten anyone.
• Of course I love you.
• I’ve never done anything like this before.
• I’ll call you later.

THIS WEEK is “National Reading a Road Map Week”, dedicated to promoting map reading as an enjoyable pastime and as a survival skill for drivers and armchair travellers. NEXT WEEK is “National Folding Road Maps Week” … honest!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1960 [46] “Ben Hur” wins record 11 “Academy Awards” (later tied by “Titanic” in 1998)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1964 [42] The Beatles hold down all top 5 spots on the “Billboard” singles chart (“Can’t Buy Me Love”, “Twist & Shout”, “She Loves You”, “I Want to Hold Your Hand”, “Please Please Me”)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1919 [87] William Howard Taft becomes 1st US President to throw out the first baseball of a Major League Baseball season

1930 [76] 1st ‘Hostess Twinkies’ go on sale (the shelf life of a Twinkie is 25 days)

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] “2006 Gospel Music Awards” (Nashville TN)
[Wed] Equal Pay Day
[Wed] Road Map Day
[Thurs] Plan Your Epitaph Day
[Fri] No Housework Day
[Fri] World Health Day
This Week Is … Week of the Ocean
This Month Is … Cancer Control Month

BULL’S BITS

WACKIEST TABLOID HEADLINES:
• “Tobacco Company Sues Secondhand Smokers!”
• “Mermaid Cemetery Discovered!”
• “Air Force Pilot Reports Seeing Flying Pigs!”
• “Plumber Goes Down the Toilet!”
• “Mom Trades Twins for Lottery Ticket!”

BS BRAIN STRAIN:
Q: According to a recent survey of women, once a guy turns 30 he shouldn’t do be doing this at a baseball game.
A: Bringing his baseball mitt.

BS STUNTS:
• ‘Extreme Makover: Drivers License Edition” …. everybody hates their drivers license photo, so take your show outside a license bureau and have a local beauty salon give people a makeover before they have their pictures taken. They’ll have them for years and show them to all their friends. And don’t forget to dress them up in station gear!
• ‘Karaoke Cash” … a simple contest where contestants have to sing the next line when you abruptly stop the tune. If they get it right, they win!
• ‘World Sicko Championships’ … ask listeners to call in using their best “I’m ill” voices and explain why they can’t make it into work today. Rate callers from 1-10 for ‘Originality’ and ‘Performance’.

WOULD YOU RATHER?
You run down the list while your guest or phone caller decides which choice is more palatable. Would you rather …
• Give advice or take it?
• Have a tune stuck playing in your head forever or have to say ‘like’ before every sentence?
• Get first dibs or last laugh?
• Have 1 wish granted today or 3 wishes 10 years from now?
• Give up your computer or give up your pet?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A product that’s still around today is named after THIS saying that meant something was ‘great’ or ‘excellent’ back in the 1890’s.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Cracker Jack.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It’s easy to be righteous when no one wants to have sex with you.