Friday, December 21, 2007       Edition: #3682
‘Twas The Sheet Before Christmas …

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT actor/singer Jamie Foxx will take over Las Vegas’ JET nightclub to celebrate his 40th birthday (which was actually DECEMBER 13th) with a party recreating his favorite film, “Boyz N The Hood” (in that case, there should be hot lead in the air) . . . THIS WEEKEND “Grey’s Anatomy” actress Katherine Heigl weds singer/songwriter Josh Kelley in Utah and says she’s already planning to be pregnant by this time NEXT YEAR (she’s well practised at being “Knocked Up”) . . . According to inside sources with “The Hills” (MTV), the show’s producers are looking into the possibility of bringing Lauren Conrad’s nemesis Kristin Cavallari (ex-“Laguna Beach”) onto their series (cat fight!) . . . Queen Latifah has signed on as the latest Jenny Craig spokesmodel but her endorsement will focus on ‘making healthy lifestyle choices not getting down to a specific size’ (translation: she wants the money but doesn’t wanna diet) . . . And apparently unfazed by the unflattering bikini shots of actress Jennifer Love Hewitt that recently caused a ruckus online, Hugh Hefner has made an offer for her to pose for “Playboy”, which her rep confirms she turned down flat (well, at least that’s one thing that’s flat).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bob Dylan – The 66-year-old singer/songwriter is said to be planning to celebrate New Year’s Eve at his newly renovated $4.4-million Scottish mansion. The 25-acre estate is a joint investment with his brother David Zimmerman.
• Chingy – He’s set to become the latest celebrity to launch a fragrance when he releases ‘Confident By Chingy’ in 2008. Word is you put it on “Right Thurr”.
• Jay-Z – Word is he’ll officially open his newest 40/40 Club DECEMBER 30th in Las Vegas and a certain little booty-shakin’ girlfriend (Beyoncé) will help him celebrate onstage.
• Lil Wayne – The 25-year-old “You” rapper says he plans to quit the biz within 5 years to become the owner of basketball team, joining the likes of Jay-Z and Nelly as sports moguls.
• Trace Adkins – He’s the first country artist to partner up with Xbox 360. The grand prize in a new contest will be a backstage gaming session with him, with travel accommodations included.

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Bon Jovi – TONIGHT Jon Bon Jovi headlines “The Hope Concert III” benefit concert at the Count Basie Theater in Red Bank NJ.
• James Taylor – He’s the musical guest on a rerun of “Saturday Night Live”, hosted by Steve Martin (NBC).
• Jessica Simpson – TODAY her latest movie, “Blonde Ambition“, is getting a limited release in 8 theaters in her & co-star Luke Wilson’s home state of Texas only. Otherwise, it will go straight to DVD … a sure sign of quality film-making.
• Rod Stewart – TONIGHT he sings on a rerun of “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Charlie Wilson’s War” ( R-Rated Drama ): Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts & Philip Seymour Hoffman star in this real-life story about a US congressman from Texas who engineered the arming of the mujahedin in Afghanistan to oppose the Soviet occupation of the 1980s.
NET: http://charliewilsonswar.net/
• “National Treasure: Book of Secrets” ( PG Action Adventure ): In this sequel to the 2004 film,  Nicolas Cage returns as treasure hunter ‘Ben Gates’, who stumbles on a worldwide conspiracy concerning Abraham Lincoln’s assassination.
NET: http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/nationaltreasure/
• “PS I Love You” ( PG-13 Drama ): Hilary Swank plays the devastated wife of a man who unexpectedly falls ill and dies. But, he seemingly comes back into her life when a series of messages he recorded before he died start showing up on her doorstep. Co-stars Gerard Butler, Kathy Bates, Gina Gershon & Lisa Kudrow.
NET: http://psiloveyoumovie.warnerbros.com/
• “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story” ( R-Rated Comedy ): John C Reilly stars in this fake biopic of ‘Dewey Cox’, who’s struggling to become a major recording star. Another no-holds-barred comedy from producer/writer/ director Judd Apatow (“Superbad”, “Knocked Up”) who’s having himself a good year. Jenna Fischer, the cutie receptionist from “The Office”, co-stars.
NET: http://rocklikecox.com/international/

THINGS YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT 2008:
• It’s the “International Year of the Potato”, as declared by the United Nations.
• It will have the last total lunar eclipse until 2010.
• At least 7 nations will elect new leaders.
• NYC will say goodbye to 2 stadiums, Shea Stadium and Yankee Stadium.
– AskMen.com

THE VOICE OF THE PARTY:
A team of scientists at the University of Florida has been studying the voices of drunks. Researchers have measured the pitch, speed, articulation and volume of young adults who were given increasing quantities of gin and rum. They found significant changes in speech patterns even at alcohol levels below the legal limit for driving. Most people developed slow, high-pitched speech, although 1-in-5 lowered their voices. (Coincidently, they were all radio people.)
– “New Scientist”

TOP GROSSING MOVIES OF 2007:
Ranked by worldwide box office …
5. “Transformers” ($704 million)
4. “Shrek the Third” ($795 million)
3. “Spider-Man 3” ($891 million)
2. “Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix” ($939 million, ranking #6 all-time)
1. “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” ($961 million, #5 all-time)
– “Box Office Mojo”

MOST HIGHLY-REGARDED TOYS OF ALL TIME:
5. Play-Doh
4. Lionel Trains
3. Barbie
2. Crayons
1. Yo-Yo
– A&E

FORGET ABOUT FEEDING FESTIVE FOOD TO FIDO:
A little indulgence with fruitcake and stuffed turkey is fine for human beings during the holidays but can be life-threatening for household pets. Australian veterinarian Mark Lawrie warns that pet owners could find themselves with an emergency on their hands over Christmas if they feed their animals human treats. He warns that feeding fatty meats to cats and dogs can induce painful pancreatitis, chocolate can be toxic, and onions can cause red blood cells to burst. (In humans, all this excess just induces slumping on the sofa.)
– ANI

DID YOU KNOW?
• The busiest retail shopping day of the year is usually DECEMBER 23rd. The busiest time of the busiest day is between 2-and-4 pm.
– “Globe & Mail”
• The percentage of people who return at least one Christmas gift is falling, in part because of the popularity of gift cards. 64% of consumers did not return anything last holiday season, up slightly from 62% in 2005.
– National Retail Foundation

BS CHRONOMETER 12.21.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1937 [70] Jane Fonda, NYC, movie actress (“Monster-in-Law”)/2 Academy Awards (“Coming Home” 1978, “Klute” 1971)/ex-Mrs Ted Turner 1991-2001

1948 [59] Samuel L Jackson, Washington DC, movie actor (“Snakes on a Plane”, “Pulp Fiction”)

1957 [50] Ray Romano, Queens NY, TV sitcom actor (“Everybody Loves Raymond” 1996-2005)/movie actor (“Ice Age”)  COMING UP: “Ice Age 3 “ (2009).

1965 [42] Andy Dick, Charleston SC, pseudo-comedian/TV personality (“Celebrity Rehab with Dr Drew ”)/sometime movie actor (“Blonde Ambition”, “Employee of the Month”)

1966 [41] Kiefer Sutherland, London UK, TV actor (‘Jack Bauer’ on “24” since 2001)/movie actor (“The Wild”, “A Few Good Men”) now doing jail time for DUI/actor Donald Sutherland’s son/grandson former Saskatchewan premier and 1st federal NDP leader Tommy Douglas

1976 [31] Lukas Rossi, Toronto ON, rock singer (“Rock Star: Supernova”)

SATURDAY –
TV anchor Diane Sawyer (“Good Morning America”) is 62; Classic rock guitarist Rick Nielsen (Cheap Trick) is 61; Oldies singer Robin Gibb (Bee Gees) is 58; Movie actor Ralph Fiennes (“Constant Gardener”) is 45; Pop singer Jordin Sparks (“American Idol”) is 18.

SUNDAY –
TV actor-comedian Harry Shearer (“The Simpsons”) is 64; TV actress Susan Lucci (“All My Children”) is 61; Rock singer Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam is) 43.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Forefathers Day”, celebrated on the anniversary of William Bradford and the Mayflower Pilgrims landing at Plymouth Rock in 1620 in what would become the United States.
• “Humbug Day”, when 12 ‘humbugs’ are allowed to be uttered in order to vent the frustrations of preparing for the holidays.
• “Underdog Day”, observed annually on the 3rd FRIDAY of DECEMBER to salute all unsung heroes, the ‘Number Twos’ who contribute so much to the ‘Number Ones’ that we always read about. Sherlock Holmes’s Dr Watson, Robinson Cruse’s Friday, Captain Kirk’s Mr Spock and [co-host] are examples. Ask listeners for other followers who’ve been under-appreciated.

SATURDAY –
• “Capricorn the Goat” astrology sign begins.
• “Christmas Revels”, a fast-growing modern observance that includes a theatrical celebration of the solstice with traditional dance, carols and plays.
• “Flashlight Day” and “Look At The Bright Side Day”, tongue-in-cheek commemorations of the year’s longest night.
• “Mumping Day” in England, traditionally when the poor go house-to-house begging for food.
• “International Arbor Day”. What a great time of year to honor trees … just as we’re killing them and dragging them into our homes!
• “Solstice Synchronized Global Orgasm for World Peace”, the 2nd annual attempt to join the world in a simultaneous orgasm combined with thoughts of peace & love. It’s the brainwave of San Francisco peace activists Donna Sheehan & Paul Reffell, intended to effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy.
NET: http://globalorgasm.org/
• “Winter” begins officially at 1:08 am EST. In the Southern Hemisphere, here comes Summer!
• “Yule” in the Wicca religion, marking the death of the Sun-God and his rebirth from the Earth Goddess … the origin of the ‘Yule Log’.

SUNDAY –
• “Account of a Visit from St Nicholas” (better known as “Twas the Night Before Christmas”) by Clement C Moore was first published in the “Troy (NY) Sentinel” 184 years ago TODAY (1823).
• “Noche de Rabano” (“Night of the Radishes”) in Oaxaca (‘wah-HAH-kah’), Mexico, when figurines are cleverly carved … from radishes. How festive!
NET: http://www.christmas-in-oaxaca.com/night-of-radish.htm

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1937 [70] Disney’s “Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs” premieres, the first full-length animated movie

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1891 [116] Springfield MA YMCA instructor James Naismith invents ‘Basketball’ using 18 players, a soccer ball and 2 peach baskets (born Almonte ON)

1913 [94] 1st ‘Crossword Puzzle’, printed in “New York World” (Arthur Wynne devises what he calls a ‘Word-Cross’ for the Christmas edition, having no idea he would be starting a worldwide craze)

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[Dec 24] Christmas Eve / Egg Nog Day
[Dec 25] Christmas Day / “Aliens vs Predator – Requiem”; “The Great Debaters”; “The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep” open in movie theaters
[Dec 26] Kwanzaa begins / Boxing Day / Whiner’s Day / Recyclable Packaging Day / Awful Tie Day
[Dec 27] Fruitcake Day
[Dec 28] Card Playing Day
[Dec 30] Festival of Enormous Changes at the Last Minute
[Dec 31] New Year’s Eve / Make Up Your Mind Day / World Peace Meditation
[Jan 1] New Year’s Day / 119th Tournament of Roses Parade
[Jan 3] “Celebrity Apprentice” premieres (NBC)
[Jan 4] Trivia Day / “One Missed Call” opens in movie theaters
[Jan 6] Epiphany or Three Kings Day (Christian) / International Respect For Living Day / National Smith Day / Show & Tell Day at Work
[Jan 7] NCAA BCS National Title Football Game (New Orleans) / Orthodox Christmas / Old Rock Day / I’m Not Going to Take It Anymore Day / Organize Your Home Day /  Thank God It’s Monday Day / 13th Critics Choice Awards (Santa Monica CA) / Clean-Off-Your-Desk Day
[Jan 8] 34th People’s Choice Awards / Elvis Presley’s Birthday / Bubble Bath Day / Eat Something Raw Day / Volunteer Fireman’s Day
[Jan 9] Play God Day
[Jan 10] BS Egg Balancing Day / Peculiar People Day / “Celebrity Rehab With Dr Drew” debuts (VH1) / Muharram (Islamic New Year)
[Jan 11] Tattoo Pride Day / International Thank-Yous Days / “First Sunday”; “In the Name of the King”; “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything”; “27 Dresses” open in movie theaters
[Jan 12] Pharmacists Day
[Jan 13] 65th Golden Globe Awards / Make Your Dream Come True Day / “24“ 7th season premiere (FOX)
[Jan 14] Assembly Line Worker’s Day / Dress Up Your Pet Day
[Jan 15] “American Idol 7” season premiere (FOX) / Fresh Squeezed Juice Day / Hat Day / World Religion Day
[Jan 16] Hot & Spicy Food International Day / Human Relations Day / Elementary School Teachers Day
[Jan 17] Get to Know Your Customer Day
[Jan 17-27] 2008 Sundance Film Festival
[Jan 18] Winnie the Pooh Day / “Cloverfield”; “Mad Money” open in movie theaters
[Jan 19] International Sing-Out Day / Penguin Awareness Day
[Jan 20] Philately Day
[Jan 21] Hugging Day / Squirrel Appreciation Day / Martin Luther King Day (USA)
[Jan 22] Academy Award nominations announced / Answer Your Cat’s Question Day / Speak Up & Succeed Day / Rid the World of Fad Diets Day
[Jan 23] Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day / Handwriting Day / Measure Your Feet Day / Compliment Day / Women’s Healthy Weight Day
[Jan 25] Opposite Day / 8th International Internet-Free Day / Robbie Burns Day / School Nurse Day / Fun At Work Day / Punch the Clock Day / “How She Move”; “Meet the Spartans”; “Rambo”; “Seed”; “Untraceable” open in movie theaters
[Jan 26] Australia Day / 2008 Miss America Pageant (TLC) / 60th Directors Guild of America Awards
[Jan 27] Thomas Crapper Day / Family Literacy Day / 14th SAG Awards
[Jan 28] Kazoo Day / Clash Day / International Make Your Point Day
[Jan 29] Corn Chip Day
[Jan 30] Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day
[Jan 31] “Lost” 4th season premiere (ABC) / Backwards Day
[Feb 2] Groundhog Day / 19th Producers Guild of America Awards (LA)
[Feb 3] Super Bowl XLII (Phoenix AZ)
[Feb 5] Shrove Tuesday / Pancake Day / Mardi Gras
[Feb 7] “Survivor Micronesia: Fans vs Favorites” debuts (CBS) / Chinese New Year
[Feb 8] 35th Annie Awards
[Feb 9] 60th Writers Guild Awards (LA/NYC)
[Feb 10] 50th Grammy Awards
[Feb 20] 2008 BRIT Awards
[Feb 24] 80th Academy Awards

BULL’S BITS

BS WAYS YOU CAN TELL IT’S ALMOST CHRISTMAS:
• Your husband finally asked, “So what would you like for Christmas?”
• Your letter carrier’s on the DL with a hernia.
• Mall decorations are now covered in a layer of dust.
• Your Christmas tree’s a lovely shade of brown.
• ATM keeps saying, “The requested cash withdrawal exceeds your account limit.”
• Shoplifters at the mall have to wait in line to steal something.
• Christmas songs keep playing in your head AND YOU JUST CAN’T STOP THEM!

BS PHONE STARTER:
What unusual job has you stuck working Christmas Eve? And New Year’s Eve?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
All I’ve got to say to Jamie-Lynn Spears is learn from your parents’ mistakes … use birth control!

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A great number of people cut back on doing THIS over the holiday season.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Housework.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate it.

GIVE THE GIFT OF BULL:
Tell a colleague in another market about “The Bull Sheet”. We’ll add ONE FREE MONTH to your subscription for each new subscriber you refer!

Thanks for your support in 2007. Happy Holidays, all!