Wednesday, December 5, 2007        Edition: #3670
Sheet For Brains!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
22-year-old “High School Musical” star Ashley Tisdale has gotten herself a nose job – which is fine – but she claims it’s only ‘to help her health’ (her bank account’s health maybe) . . . Even though they’ve been rumored to be dating for more than a year, Brody Jenner of “The Hills” says he and the show’s star, Lauren Conrad, have NEVER been an item (thank goodness, now we can all sleep peacefully) . . . Movie actress Penelope Cruz has been honored by Queen Sofia of Spain for promoting Hispanic culture around-the-globe with an award presented in the quaint Spanish-speaking town of – New York City . . . “Grey’s Anatomy” star Patrick Dempsey (‘McDreamy’) has signed on as the new face of Versace, fronting the famous fashion house’s 2008 Men’s Spring/Summer line (money for nothin’ and suits for free) . . . And Paul McCartney’s estranged wife Heather Mills is planning to re-market her autobiography yet again – “Out On A Limb” was first published in 1996, then repackaged as “A Small Step” when info about her relationship with Paul was added, and now will be altered one more time to ‘set the record straight’ about the divorce battle (with the new title “Without a Leg to Stand On”?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alison Krauss – She’s taking time off from her band Union Station to tour with Led Zeppelin frontman Robert Plant NEXT YEAR in support of their new album, “Raising Sand”. Cities and dates are yet to be determined.
• Daniel Lanois – The Canadian musician & producer (U2) plans to offer the digital release of his new album, “Here Is What Is”, in high-quality WAV format. It will be one of the first downloads ever offered in the CD-quality format, which is superior to the more commonly used MP3 format.
• Led Zeppelin – According to a music industry newsletter, they’ll play their first US show since 1977 NEXT JUNE at the annual “Bonnaroo Festival” in Manchester TN. There’s been no confirmation of that from either festival organizers or the band.
• Luther Vandross – A 2-day auction of his personal possessions gets underway TODAY in New Jersey. Among the lots: a Picasso drawing, diamond watches, mink coats, stage costumes, credit cards, a driver’s license, handwritten song lyrics, a Versace coat and … 400 pairs of shoes. The legendary soul singer died in 2005 at age 54.
• Spice Girls – Mr Posh, soccer star David Beckham, bought each of them a gold bracelet to celebrate their reunion tour.
• Velvet Revolver – Word has just surfaced that Scott Weiland has been charged with DUI after crashing his car LAST MONTH on an LA freeway. Nobody was injured in the accident, but this might explain the recent postponements of tours in Japan and Australia.
• Wyclef Jean – The 39-year-old former Fugees singer says a recent study that claims the AIDS virus entered the US via his native country of Haiti is prejudicial and unjust. The University of Arizona report labels the Caribbean republic as the ‘stepping stone’ of AIDS.

BS CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Coffee-Spitter’ – A news story or gossip that’s so outrageous, shocking, funny, or upsetting that when you hear it you splutter and spray your coffee all over. (“Hey! Have I got a bit of buzz for you … it’s a real coffee-spitter!”)
• ‘Drive-By Downloads’ – Software offered online at a site where you’re looking for something else. Eventually you find your computer is packed with programs you don’t really need because you picked them up on impulse. (“I can’t meet you for lunch, I’m busy uninstalling all my drive-by downloads.”)
• ‘Princess’ – Now used as an adjective for something stylish, pretty, or attention-grabbing a la Disney princesses ‘Snow White’, ‘Sleeping Beauty’, ‘Belle’, et al. (“Your hair is like so princess today!”)

GREEN XMA$:
Each year luxury retailer Neiman-Marcus releases a holiday listing of glamorous gifts guaranteed to get people talking. Highlights from the retailer’s 100th anniversary catalogue …
• A dragon topiary (sculpted shrubbery) for the front lawn, complete with blown-glass eyes and gold-leaf horns, claws, and teeth. ($30,000)
• A Dutch-designed ‘Treetent’ large enough to fit the entire family that allows you to go camping aloft. ($50,000)
• A ‘Swami’ robot that recognizes family members and carries on conversations. ($75,000)
• A his-and-hers portrait … in chocolate. ($110,000)
• A 305-carat uncut diamond necklace. ($1 million.)
• The Triton 1000 submarine that dives up to 1,000 feet underwater. ($1.44 million)
• A private fantasy classical concert, hosted by Regis Philbin and featuring the Kirov Orchestra performing the holiday favorite “Nutcracker Suite”. ($1.6 million)
– CNN Money

HONESTY IS PRETTY:
If you exhibit positive traits such as honesty and helpfulness, the chances are that you will perceived as a good looking person. A new Monmouth University study has found that the perception of physical attractiveness is influenced by a person’s personality. Those who exhibit negative traits, such as unfairness and rudeness, appear to be less physically attractive to others. The findings show that a positive personality leads to greater desirability as a friend, which leads to greater desirability as a romantic partner and, ultimately, to being viewed as more physically attractive. (See boss, holiday bonuses make you look good!)
– “New Science”

DUMBEST PEOPLE IN HOLLYWOOD:
According to one new ranking, here are the show biz celebs that simply aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer …
5. 21-year-old movie actor Shia LaBeouf (“Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”, “Transformers”).
4. Manager/producer Jeff Kwatinetz (the guy behind Britney Spears’ disastrous “MTV Video Music Awards” performance).
3. Spencer Pratt (“The Hills”).
2. Kim Kardashian (“Keeping Up with the Kardashians”).
1. Lindsay Lohan (Cirque Lodge).
– “NY Daily News”

SANTA’S SWEATSHOP:
Most of the toys found under the Christmas tree this year will have been made in China’s Pearl River Delta. According to the new book, “The Real Toy Story” by investigative journalist Eric Clark, 80% of the world’s toys are made there … for a few cents each. (Not counting the cost of lead paint.)
– “Philadelphia Inquirer”

DO NOT CHILL:
According to “The Housewife’s Handbook”, a compilation of household tips by “Daily Telegraph” Features Editor Rachel Simhon, there are many fresh foods that should NOT be stored in your refrigerator. Among them …
• Bananas (they go black).
• Bread (it goes stale).
• Mushrooms (they dry out).
• Olive oil (it goes cloudy).
• Potatoes (they sprout).
– “Social Studies”

STAYING TOGETHER FOR THE PLANET:
Who knew? Divorce is bad for the environment! How so? Michigan State University researchers say higher divorce rates have created more households with fewer people. And more households mean more energy expended to build, fuel, and provide water for them. Globally, the number of households is increasing much faster than the number of people. The average divorced person’s household has 40-to-50% fewer people than the average married person’s household but often uses a similar amount of energy. (So hang in … for the hot air.)
– UPI

PREVENTING IDENTITY THEFT:
According to computer security advisors the Monterey Group, cyber crimes against online consumers worldwide total about $350 billion annually. Fewer than 5% of those who commit theft via the Internet are ever caught. Among the company’s security tips …
• Use only 1 credit card when buying online. This makes it easier to track spending and spot anything out of the ordinary.
• Only shop at secure websites. A secure site is indicated by ‘https’, a lock icon or, on newer browsers, the URL bar turns green.
• If you get an e-mail from someone offering you a great deal, don’t even bother opening it.
• Don’t shop online in public. Thieves often target Internet cafes and public places with Wi-Fi to tap into computers for personal info.
– “Monterey County Herald”

IT TASTES GOOD, AND IT WORKS:
Natural honey is more effective in treating the symptoms of coughs than over-the-counter medicines, according to new research from Penn State College of Medicine. Used in medicines for centuries, honey seems to do a better job at reducing the severity of night-time coughs than dextromethorphan, the active ingredient in many cough medicines. (Reps from Pfizer are likely already negotiating with bees to patent the stuff.)
– “GQ”

FOR THE RECORD:
The world’s oldest Rolls-Royce has sold to an anonymous bidder at a Bonham’s classic car auction in London, England for a record $8.3 million. It was the 4th Rolls-Royce made at the company’s Manchester UK factory in 1904, the year Charles Stewart Rolls & Frederick Henry Royce began their partnership. There are only 4 examples of the model known to survive.
– ABC News

DID YOU KNOW?
Moose normally eat branches in winter, but since snow has become so much scarcer they now have access to wild blueberries. The result has been fatter moose that are more likely to break wind. The Norwegian Institute for Nature Research estimates that, in 1 year, a fully grown moose expels, from both ends, methane that’s as destructive to the atmosphere as the emissions released by 13,000 km (8,000 miles) of car travel.
– “The Times”

BS CHRONOMETER 12.05.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1925 [82] Dave Broadfoot, North Vancouver BC, standup comedian for over 50 years (‘Honorable Member for Kicking Horse Pass’/’Sgt Renfrew’)/TV comic (“Old Enough To Say What I Want”, “Royal Canadian Air Farce”)/Officer of the Order of Canada

1932 [75] Little Richard (Penniman), Macon GA, rock n’ roll pioneer (“Tutti Frutti”, “Good Golly Miss Molly”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1986)

1946 [61] Jose Carreras, Barcelona, Spain, operatic singer (The Three Tenors)

1965 [42] John Rzeznik, Buffalo NY, rock singer/guitarist (Goo Goo Dolls-“Better Days”, “Give A Little Bit”)

1967 [40] Gary Allan (Herzberg), Montebello CA, country singer (“Watching Airplanes”, “Nothing On But The Radio”)

1985 [22] Frankie Muniz, Wood Ridge NJ, TV actor (“Malcolm in the Middle” 2000-06)/movie actor (“Racing Stripes”, “Agent Cody Banks”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bathtub Party Day”, encouraging a luxurious long, hot bath to develop inner peace. Almost everyone nowadays takes showers, so here’s a day to recall some of the luxury of days gone by. Invite a few friends!

• “International Volunteer Day”, honoring the selfless people who make many of the good things in life happen by volunteering their time.

• “Ninja Day”. How do you celebrate? For ninjas, just be. For non-ninjas (‘nonjas’), simply dress up like a ninja and hang out with your friends … who will like disown you immediately.
NET: http://askaninja.com/ninjaday

• “Tinsel Day”, in honor of your cat’s favorite gagging toy, your 2-year-old’s favorite poisonous snack, your vacuum cleaner’s favorite clogging device, and your home’s greatest holiday fire hazard. Looks festive though, doesn’t it?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1997 [10] “Good Will Hunting” opens in movie theaters, making Matt Damon & Ben Affleck stars (and later winning them a screenwriting Oscar)

2006 [01] “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” is released on DVD

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1854 [153] 1st ‘Folding Theater Chair’ is patented by Aaron Allen of Boston (who needed a place to put his gum)

1908 [99] University of Pittsburgh uses 1st football ‘Uniform Numbers’ (imagine play-by-play without numbers – “And the guy with the gimpy ankle passes to the guy with the clump of mud on his helmet. He’s tackled by that other guy in the baggy pants …”)

1929 [78] 1st ‘Nudist Organization’ (‘American League For Physical Culture’, NYC)

1983 [24] NFL licenses the 1st official ‘Football Video Game’ (back when John Madden was a lad of 47)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1952 [55] ‘Krystyne Kolorful’ becomes the world’s ‘Most Decorated Woman’ with tattoos over 95% of her body

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Day of Remembrance & Action on Violence Against Women
[Thurs] St Nicholas Day
[Thurs] Pawnbrokers Day
[Thurs] Grammy Awards nominees announced
[Thurs] Christmas Lights Across Canada 2007
[Thurs] 2007 Christmas Pageant of Peace opening (Washington DC)
[Fri] Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day
[Fri] “The Golden Compass” opens in movie theaters
This Week Is … Christmas Tree Week
This Month Is … Drunk & Drugged Driving Prevention Month

BULL’S BITS

HOCKEY NATION:
Yahoo Canada’s new listing of the country’s most searched terms in 2007 …
10. NASCAR (stock car racing)
9. Paris Hilton (sans duds)
8. Environment Canada (weather)
7. Ontario Lottery & Gaming Corporation (lottery numbers)
6. Revenue Canada (income tax)
5. Perez Hilton (show biz gossip)
4. WWE (pro wrestling)
3. “American Idol” (FOX)
2. Britney Spears (screw-up)
1. NHL (religion)
– CBC News

AMERICA’S BEST PLACES TO LIVE 2007:
You may not have heard of some of these smaller towns but a new lifestyle ranking suggests they have everything any family could want: economic opportunity, good schools, safe streets, things to do, and a sense of community …
5. Claremont CA
4. Lake Mary FL
3. Louisville CO
2. Hanover NH
1. Middleton WI
– “Money Magazine“

MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Why is it our taste buds want us to be fat?
• What percent of all children grow up to be statisticians?
• Do clairvoyant detectives follow the suspect from ahead?
• Are active verbs thinner and leaner than passive verbs?
• As they fall asleep at night, do farmers count sheep … differently?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Bring on the coal for my stocking. It’s more fun to be naughty!

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: It takes a single woman about an hour to make THIS decision; a single man, about 15 minutes.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Whether or not there will be a second date.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If they make you a free offer, don’t buy it.