Tuesday, February 22, 2000                                       Edition:  #1748

BABY BOOMERS — THEN AND NOW . . .
• Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint. Now: Getting a new hip joint.
• Then: Peace sign. Now: Mercedes logo.
• Then: Killer weed. Now: Weed killer.
• Then: Hoping for a BMW. Now: Hoping for a B.M.
• Then: Long hair. Now: Longing for hair.
• Then: The perfect high. Now: The perfect high-yield mutual fund.
• Then: Seeds and stems. Now: Roughage.
• Then: Popping pills, smoking joints. Now: Popping joints.
• Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor. Now: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Whitney Houston wants to star in a remake of “Love Story” (only in her version, Bobby Brown dies at the end) . . . Martha Stewart says she wants to host “Saturday Night Live” but has never been asked (and that’s a GOOD thing) . . . Here’s the first result of the recent AOL-Time Warner merger — an online preview of this year’s “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue” . . . Producers are looking for actors to play Paul & Linda McCartney in the upcoming TV miniseries “Linda McCartney” . . . Actress Ashley Judd won’t let her adventurous lover out of bed, because he’s race driver Dario Franchetti who recently broke his hip during a practice lap.

NEW IN VIDEO STORES TODAY:
Ashley Judd & Tommy Lee Jones star in the thriller “Double Jeopardy”, in the tangled tale of a woman accused of murdering her husband . . . Bloodthirsty genetically mutated bats terrorize a small town and it’s up to Lou Diamond Phillips & Dina Meyer to save it in the horror story “Bats” . . . Josh Brolin & Reese Witherspoon in the crime drama “Best Laid Plans”, about a seemingly simple plan to steal money that goes awry.

TOP VIDEO RENTALS:
1. “American Pie”
2. “Mystery Man”
3. “The General’s Daughter”

HE’S OUR HACKER:
One of the computer security experts trying to track down that ‘super hacker’ who’s been wreaking havoc with popular Websites says the chief suspect, the so-called ‘mafiaboy’, is a customer of Sympatico, Canada’s largest Internet service provider. Profilers think he’s about 15 years-old. (Crime in the 21st century.)

WE’RE A RISKY BUNCH:
New stats from “Canada West Foundation” show that 58% of Canadians have gambled in the past year, and 27% of us admit to being ‘regular gamblers’, testing the odds at least once per week. (Of course to your average Canadian, ‘gambling’ can involve backing out of the driveway without shovelling first.)

ANYONE NEED A STRAW?
A new display at the Trapholt Art Museum in western Denmark is causing outrage. It features 10 goldfish, each swimming in its own blender. The catch — the blenders can be turned on at the viewer’s whim. Despite protests, 7 fish were blended over the weekend, with the museum  replacing them to maintain the ‘original work of art’. (McDonald’s is taking a look at this.)

THE BULL SHEET 02.22.00

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1932     [68] Ted Kennedy, Brookline MA, US Senator (D-MA)
1965    [35] Joe Reekie, Victoria BC, NHL defenceman (Washington Capitals)
1970    [30] Dominic Roussel, Hull PQ, NHL goaltender (Mighty Ducks of Anaheim)
1971    [29] Jason Marshall, Cranbrook BC, NHL defenceman (Mighty Ducks of Anaheim)
1974    [26] Aaron Gavey, Sudbury ON, NHL center (Dallas Stars)
1975     [25] Drew Barrymore, Culver City CA, movie actress (Never Been Kissed, Ever After)
1975    [25] Liza Huber, Long  Island NY, TV soap actress (Gwen Hotchkiss-Passions) who’s the daughter of a soap actress (Susan Lucci)

BS REASONS TO PARTY  . . .
‘Advantage’ flea-control product is once again looking for “North America’s Best Singing Pet”. Last year’s winner, a dog named ‘Zippy’, belted out a rendition of BB King’s blues classic “The Thrill Is Gone”. Official entry forms can be obtained at veterinary clinics, but it’s a good excuse to hold your own on-air ‘regional competition’.
NET: www.nofleas.com

ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1996    Actress Halle Berry files for divorce from MLB player David Justice
1998    Czech Republic wins men’s hockey gold as Nagano Winter Olympics come to a close (Canada wins record 15 medals to place 5th, ahead of the USA)
1998    “Titanic” sucks up another $21 million, passing “ET” as #2 all-time movie

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1630     [370] 1st ‘Thanksgiving’ dinner as native American ‘Quadequina’ introduces Pilgrims to popcorn (celebration later moved to fall)
1959     [41] 1st ‘Daytona 500′ auto race (Lee Petty wins)
1995    [05] 1st balloon crossing of Pacific Ocean (Steve Fossett)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Grammy Awards
[Thurs] National Tortilla Chip Day
[Sat] National Pistachio Day
[Mon] Federal Budget Day
National Sign Up for Summer Camp Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE YOUR KID CAN TEACH YOU:
• You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
• No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
• When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
• If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
• You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
• Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
• Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic Tac.
• The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma’s lap.

THE LAST WORD:
I suffer from kleptomania, but when it gets bad I just take something for it.