February 2, 2010

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Tuesday, February 2, 2010      Edition: #4194
100% Canada #1 Grade A Bull!

Paul McCartney’s 42-year-old ex-wife Heather Mills is so determined to compete on UK reality show “Dancing On Ice” she’s having her artificial leg glued on so it doesn’t fall off (it’s hard to do a double-axel with a single shank) . . . It’s been confirmed 29-year-old actress Kristen Bell (the voice of “Gossip Girl”) is set to wed 35-year-old long-time actor-boyfriend Dax Shepard (“When In Rome”) . . . 42-year-old actress Julia Roberts says she’ll never consider doing a “Pretty Woman” movie sequel because – she’s too old (picture her & Richard Gere reprising the bathtub scene … in a seniors’ home) . . . “How I Met Your Mother” star Neil Patrick Harris is in talks to produce & host a US version of British TV game show “The Cube”, which places contestants in a small plastic cube to induce stress while they perform physical tasks (kind of sounds like your office cubicle, doesn’t it?) . . . Former TV regulars Melissa Joan Hart (“Sabrina the Teenage Witch”) & Joey Lawrence (“Blossom”) are returning to the small-screen in the upcoming ABC comedy, “Melissa & Joey” (clever!), about a woman who hires a male nanny to help her take care of her imprisoned sister’s kids (hijinks ensue) . . . And fans in online forums are claiming that they’re suffering from ‘Post Avatar Depression’, not because the movie fell short of their expectations but because they’ve realized – reality will never match the beauty of ‘Pandora’ ([co-host] felt this way after “Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel”).


• Academy Awards Nominations – This morning at 5:30 am PT the Academy Of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences announces nominations for its 82nd annual movie awards, to be handed out March 7th at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood.
NET: http://www.oscars.org
• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Auditions continue in Denver; guest judge is Victoria Beckham.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Grammy-winning Lady Antebellum (“Need You Now”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Crocodiles (“Summer Of Hate”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Switchfoot (”Hello Hurricane”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Motion City Soundtrack (“Commit This to Memory”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Ben Harper (“White Lies For Dark Times”).
• “Lost” (ABC/CTV) – The 6th & final season debut, which promises to begin to explain what the hell’s been going on … maybe.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Wyclef Jean (“From the Hut, To the Projects”).

• Aerosmith – Steven Tyler may sue if he is replaced. His attorney has fired off a letter demanding they ‘cease & desist’ from auditioning possible lead singers. Among those that have reportedly been approached: Billy Idol, Chris Cornell, and Paul Rodgers.
• Alice In Chains – Tonight they kick off a North American tour in Vancouver.
• Jason Mraz – He’s revealed that “Lucky”, his Grammy winner for ‘Best Pop Collaboration’ with Colbie Caillat, was written back and forth with her via email.
• Ke$ha – The music video for her 2nd single “Blah Blah Blah” features backup vocals from 3OH!3. She tells “Toronto Sun” the lyrics are about getting back at guys for how they talk to women in the music biz.
• Nickelback – Radio personality Jason Mac at New Zealand’s The Rock FM has lost some kind of bet so he’s been forced to get a caricature of Chad Kroeger tattooed on his right butt cheek.
• The Who – 64-year-old dinosaur rocker Pete Townshend says he’s worried his music career will end in the next few years because of hearing problems. (More likely due to being over 64.)

• “Amelia” ( Biographical Drama ): 2-time Oscar-winner Hilary Swank plays the famed ‘aviatrix’ (a term specifically coined for Earhardt) who disappeared over the Pacific in 1937 during her history-making around-the-world flight. Co-stars Richard Gere, Ewan McGregor.
• “Love Happens” ( Romantic Drama ): Jennifer Aniston stars as a businesswoman who attends a seminar by a self-help guru (Aaron Eckhart). When a personal relationship develops, she realizes the self-help ‘expert’ hasn’t confronted his wife’s death. Shot in Seattle & Vancouver.
• “Zombieland” ( Horror Comedy ): In a world overrun by zombies, a fearful guy (Jesse Eisenberg) leads a band of refugees on a cross-country pilgrimage to an amusement park where they think they’ll be safe. Co-stars Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin.
• Also released today: “Beverly Hills 90210: The 9th Season” (TV); “Doctor Who: The Complete Specials” (TV); “Mary Tyler Moore Show: The Complete 6th Season” (TV); “More Than a Game” (Documentary); “Murder, She Wrote: The Complete 11th Season” (TV); “Tom & Jerry’s Greatest Chases: Vol 4” (Animation); and “Wolverine & The X-Men: Fate Of the Future” (Animation).

Wearing cushioned running shoes may have changed the way in which many of us run, new research suggests. Using slow-motion footage scientists have discovered that experienced barefoot runners land very differently from runners who wear shoes. The research shows that runners who have trained barefoot tend to strike the ground with their forefoot or mid-foot rather than their heel. The bottom line: Barefoot runners may be at less risk of certain types of injury than those who wear cushioned running shoes. (Except for frostbite.)
– “Nature”


Some things you just shouldn’t share. Among them …
• What happened that time you got food poisoning.
• No matter how happy you are, you still pine for your ex-.
• You regularly resort to mustache bleaching.
• You once hooked up with your best guy friend.
• You snoop around his e-mail and/or call log just to see what he really thinks of you.
• Just how hot you think his friend is.
• The number of guys you’ve slept with.
– “Glamour Magazine”


A new study at Britain’s University of Hertfordshire reveals the so-called ‘club drug’ ecstasy is more likely than other stimulants such as speed or crystal meth to kill young, healthy people who aren’t regular drug users. A 10-year review of stimulant-related deaths finds that those who died after taking ecstasy were mainly younger and healthier than those who died after taking amphetamines. Scientists say the results suggest young people aged 16-to-24 seem to suffer extreme consequences after excessive intake of ecstasy, but so far it’s unclear why. (Be safe. Stick to beer.)
– Reuters Health

A panel of travel advisors picks this year’s best places to visit ….
5. Peru – Offering more than just Machu Picchu, it’s emerged as a popular destination in recent years.
4. Turkey – It’s tourism has grown due to its affordability, historical sites, and beautiful coastline.
3. Greece – With gorgeous beaches and ancient ruins, it’s where beauty, culture, and history collide.
2. Egypt – An affordable yet fascinating vacation. Politically stable and home to the Great Pyramids.
1. Italy – From the Tuscan hills to the Roman ruins, a perennial favorite for international tourists.
– gate1travel.com

A new survey suggests that the last age at which most men are able to fasten their pants around anything resembling a waist is 39. After that, the waistline goes either up or down. ‘Over Achievers’, as they are known in the rag trade, hoist their pants so high that by age 57 the waistband can be just 7 inches (18 cm) under the armpit. On the other hand (leg?), ‘Under Achievers’ let it all hang out, fumbling to fasten belts, buttons and zippers they can no longer see under their pot bellies. (The most elegant solution – overalls.)
– “The Guardian”


So you’ve just been dumped? A few tips on getting on with your life …
• Cry: Rejection, anger, and sadness need an outlet. Holding it all in won’t help.
• Delete: Cutting ties is best. Erase his/her phone number, email, Facebook ties.
• Write It Out: No censoring, no holding back. Journaling can be a very healing activity.
• Splurge: Indulge in an ice-cream binge; stay in your PJs all day … be nice to you.
• Circle the Wagons: Use your friends & family as a buffer against depression.
• Re-evaluate: Make plans for the future. Find something to consume your time that you feel passionately about.
– Condensed from AOL Personals

The latest findings of an ongoing study at the UK’s University of Coventry contradict the idea that texting is eroding kids’ ability to spell. In fact, those who regularly use the abbreviated language of ‘text speak’ are actually improving their spelling ability. How so? Researchers say text language requires an awareness of how sounds relate to written English. In order to abbreviate a word, you first need to know the original. The researchers admit this link between texting and literacy has proven a surprise. (A recent related study concludes the e-generation is writing far more than any previous generation … even if they are using words like ‘hmwrk’.)
– BBC News Magazine


• It’s estimated more than 6 million e-book readers will be sold in the US this year. And worldwide shipments of touch-screen tablets will skyrocket from a niche market of 2 million up to 8 million annually, according to forecasts from financial services company Morgan Stanley.
– TheDailyBeast.com
• Computer-maker Hewlett-Packard estimates that the total amount of material being printed has grown between 4-and-5% each year since the early 1990s. So much for the long predicted ‘paperless office’!
– TheGlobeandMail.com


1942 [68] Graham Nash, Blackpool UK, oldies singer (Crosby, Stills & Nash-“Suite: Judy Blue Eyes”, Hollies-“Bus Stop”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1997)

1949 [61] Ross Valory, San Francisco CA, classic rock bassist (Journey-“Don’t Stop Believin’”, “Open Arms”)

1966 [44] Robert DeLeo, Glen Ridge NJ, rock bassist (Stone Temple Pilots-“Days Of The Week”, “Lady Picture Show”)

1977 [33] Shakira (Ripoll), Barranquilla, Columbia, pop singer (f/Wyclef Jean-“Hips Don’t Lie”, “Whenever, Wherever”)/philanthropist  FACTOID: Shakira is Arabic for ‘full of grace’.


• “Candlemas Day”, celebrated in Catholic & Orthodox churches worldwide. In Mexico, it’s known as “Dia de la Candelaria”, a big day for bullfights and fiestas.

• “Groundhog Day”, when we gullibly rely on a normally hibernating underground rodent to indicate whether we’ll have a so-called ‘second winter’. The groundhog is pulled out of its electrically heated burrow circa 7:25 am EST, looks for its shadow and purportedly utters a prediction in ‘groundhogese’.
– Canada’s best known prognosticator is ‘Wiarton Willie’.
PHONER: 877.844.9884/519.534.5492 (Wiarton Willie Festival Committee)
NET: http://www.brucepeninsula.org/willie.htm
– ‘Punxsutawney Phil’ is America’s original forecaster and most famous hog. Despite what organizers would have you believe, since 1887 the li’l rodent has seen his shadow about 90% of the time and only made correct predictions around 39% of the time.
PHONERS: 814.938.2555 (Historical Society)/814.938.7700 (Chamber of Commerce)
NET: http://www.groundhog.org

• “Imbolc” (‘IHM-bulk’), the ancient Wiccan festival also known as ‘Candlemas’, ‘Brighid’ (‘breed’), or ‘Oimelc’ (‘EE-mulk’) which means ewe’s milk. The celebration signals the middle of the season of long nights and anticipates the upcoming season of light. Celebrants make ‘Corn Maidens’ from corn & wheat and place them in a cradle known as a ‘Bride’s Bed’.

• “Men’s Grooming Day”. Yeah it’s here again already, your annual day to clean up your act.

• “Sled Dog Day”, honoring those tenacious teams of canines that pull together to provide transportation in the snowy north. A good day to enjoy some ‘mush’!

• “World Wetlands Day”, observed annually since 1997 to raise awareness among governments, non-governmental organizations, and the public at large of the ecological values and benefits of the world’s wetlands. (Formerly known as ‘swamps’.)


2000 [10] Oprah Winfrey’s new female-targeted ‘Oxygen’ TV network debuts  FACTOID: The 24/7 cable network OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) debuts in January 2011.

1979 [31] Sid Vicious of punk rock band the Sex Pistols dies of a heroin overdose at a party celebrating … his completion of a detox program


1964 [46] 1st ‘GI Joe’ action figure is marketed, with a World War II theme (approximately the same physical scale as ‘Barbie’ dolls, they’d measure 5-ft, 9-in tall in real life)


[Wed] Girls & Women in Sports Day
[Fri-Sat] Solo Diners Eat Out Weekend
[Fri] “Dear John”; “From Paris With Love” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Wear Red Day
[Fri] World Nutella Day
[Sat] Dump Your Significant Jerk Day
[Sun] Super Bowl XLIV (Miami)
This Week Is … International Snow Sculpting Week
This Month Is … Bird Feeding Month


• You’re diagnosed with Flesh Eating Disease and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.
• You like to put mayonnaise on your aspirin.
• When you go to the zoo, the elephants throw you peanuts.
• Your driver’s license says, ‘Picture continued on other side.’
• You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth.
• Your blood type is Ragu.
– Edited from OurFunnyLists.com


Help reduce carbon dioxide in our atmosphere. INHALE only.

What would make up the ‘Ultimate Super Bowl Menu’?


OMG, you’re suffering from ‘prosopagnosia’. What the heck’s ailing you?
a. You have trouble remembering faces. [CORRECT. Also know as ‘face blindness’.]
b. One of your ears is lower than the other.
c. You broke a nail.
– Wikipedia.org


Today’s Question: More women than men are now legally able to do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Drive a car. (“USA Today”)

To make a long story short, don’t tell it.

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