February 6, 2012

Monday, February 6, 2012        Edition: #4684

“BS” – The Most Touchdowns in Show Prep!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• On Friday LA Reid signed a new contract to stay on for a 2nd season of Simon Cowell’s TV talent show “The X Factor”.  That makes him the only original judge kept on by Cowell. It is not yet known who will replace the ousted judges and host Steve Jones, although it is speculated that Mariah Carey is being lined up as a potential new addition.
– E! News
• Meantime, a NYC tabloid is reporting that Beyoncé’s being wooed by Simon Cowell to join the revamped judging panel of “The X Factor”. Insiders say it might not be such a longshot as she’s interested in staying home with her baby daughter for a few years, and a high-profile TV gig would keep her in the public eye. Cowell is rumored to be offering her a mind-blowing $100 million per year.
– “NY Post”
• Actress Demi Moore has finally checked into a rehab center following her hospitalization last month when she was admitted to ER suffering from semi-conscious convulsions. Now she’s reportedly at the $1,000-a-night Cirque Lodge in Sundance, Utah. A source says she’s ‘on total lockdown and only talking to a small group of people’. That’s the same drug & alcohol treatment center where Lindsay Lohan got up to hijinks during her 2007 attempt at rehab … her 3rd try.
– Contactmusic.com
• “Glee” creator-producer Ryan Murphy used to date “Twilight” director Bill Condon. Murphy subsequently wrote a screenplay about the relationship when they split, entitled “Why Can’t I Be Audrey Hepburn?” Word has it that it was purchased by Steven Spielberg.
– PopBitch.com
• Actor Gary Dourdan’s ex-girlfriend is suing the former “CSI” star for allegedly breaking her nose. Nicole Cannizzaro has already won a restraining order against Dourdan following a fight in November and now she’s filed an assault & battery lawsuit in LA. She claims he attacked her while she was gathering her belongings from his apartment following a spat at a grocery store. She’s seeking unspecified damages. Sounds like she already got some.
– TMZ.com
• Pippa Middleton had the press speculating last year when, following her split with boyfriend Alex Louden, she went straight up to Alnwick in the northern UK county of Northumberland to spend a weekend with old Edinburgh University pal George Percy. Now it seems that it’s official; the sister of the Duchess of Cambridge (Kate Middleton) is dating Percy, heir to the Duke Of Northumberland’s land (circa 100,000 acres) and money (thought to be some $500 million).
– “The Sun”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Miley Cyrus (“Can’t Be Tamed”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Pitbull (“Planet Pit”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – fun (“Aim & Ignite”); Ziggy Marley (“Wild & Free”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Die Antwoord (“Ten$Ion”, out tomorrow).
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/CTV2) – Rumer (“Seasons Of My Soul”).
• “Smash” (NBC/CTV) – Premiere of a new series set behind-the-scenes of a Broadway show. Steven Spielberg spent 5 years trying to get this drama to air as the concept initially failed to win over TV network executives. Stars Debra Messing, Anjelica Huston, and Katherine McPhee.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – Hopeful vocalists again audition for a spot in the competition.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adam Lambert – It looks like his rumored tour with Queen is still just a rumor. He’s now refuting a “Daily Star” report suggesting he’ll hit the road this Summer with original members Brian May and Roger Taylor to play a string of dates.
• Black Keys – Tonight they premiere their new video for “Gold On the Ceiling” during the TV special “MTV First: The Black Keys”. Immediately following the clip’s debut, the duo of Dan Auerbach & Patrick Carney sit down for a 30-minute interview that will stream on MTV.com.
• Carrie Underwood – May 1st has been set as the release date for her upcoming new album. The as-yet-untitled release will include the single “Good Girl” (out February 23rd).
• Jay-Z – Tonight & tomorrow night he’s headlining a pair of charity concerts at NYC’s Carnegie Hall, with all proceeds benefitting the Shawn Carter Scholarship Foundation and the United Way of New York City.
• Kanye West – He’s reportedly planning another short art film, à la his 30-minute video for “Runaway”, that will be filmed somewhere in the Persian Gulf. “NY Observer” says he’s looking to ‘bridge the cultural divide and break misconceptions’. None of this has been confirmed as yet.
• Lady Gaga – She’s currently plotting her next tour and is promising to tweet an advance peek at the set design tomorrow (Tuesday). She’s also putting the set-list together which will be ‘reflective’ of the “Born This Way” album.
• Neil Young – In a new “Rolling Stone” interview, he’s confirmed he’s making 2 new albums with his old band Crazy Horse. One, titled “Americana”, is already completed. He says it is made up of rearrangements of ‘songs we all know from kindergarten’, with help from a children’s choir.
• Willow Smith – Pictures uploaded online show that the 11-year-old is now … completely bald! No reason has surfaced for the shaven head but “Whip My Hair” is apparently something she’s no longer interested in.

TRUE HOLLYWOOD CASTING CALLS:
The following recent casting agent breakdowns are presented absolutely verbatim, with all the humiliating bits intact …
• “Movie promo (rate TBD). Male, 50-to-70, American Indian, Caucasian, East Indian, Middle Eastern, ethnically ambiguous, multi-ethnic. Looking for men whose eyes fall down to the tops of their cheeks.”
• “Mischa Barton movie (TBD). Men, 40-to-45, Caucasian. Actors to play dead people who are in a room when Mischa walks in. They would preferably be gaunt, skinny, even sickly looking as they have died from old age or a disease. Need to be OK with being painted white.”
• “Feature film (TBD). Male, 18-to-45, all ethnicities. Male actors will be wearing masks with no shirts. They will be creepy killers.”
• “JCPenney Commercial ($500 plus $1500 plus 20% usage fee). Male, 20-to-50, all ethnicities. Seeking little people who are cool with playing a Leprechaun.”
• “Industrial Film ($300). Father, 40-45 years, with a 6-to-8-year-old son. Interesting faces and features. Will be naked and bouncing on a trampoline for the shoot. Scars, tattoos, piercings OK.”
– QMI Agency

A PATTERN OF BALDNESS:
Interesting that the leadership of Russia seems to follow a precise pattern in that a slaphead is always followed by a hairy man. Witness the progression …
✓ Lenin (baldy) > Stalin (hairy).
✓ Krushchev (baldy) > Brezhnev (hairy).
✓ Andropov (baldy) > Chernyenko (hairy).
✓ Gorbachev (baldy) > Yeltsin (hairy).
✓ Putin (baldy) > Medvedev (hairy).
So in the upcoming March 4th election? Probably Putin (baldy) again.
– PopBitch.com

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• A naturist group called Free Beaches is inviting New Zealanders to cast off their inhibitions and enjoy skinny-dipping by moonlight to mark tomorrow’s Full Moon, ‘when the great ivory ball creates a silver, rippling path across the dark blue sea’. Complaints about the planned nudist gathering at Peka Peka beach are being investigated by none other than … Sergeant Bigwood.
– Stuff.co.nz
• Who knew lard could last for 64 years? A German man decided to gobble down some of the stuff that had been part of an aid package sent in 1948 as post-World War II relief. 87-year-old Hans Feldmeier, a retired pharmacist from Rostock, got the can of Swift’s Bland Lard tested by food-safety experts first … and then dug in. He didn’t say why.
– NYPost.com
• Inmates at a Vermont correctional institution’s print shop have managed to sneak an image of a pig into the state police crest that gets emblazoned on police cars. Officials admit that 30 of the cruisers have been sporting the prank design … for the past year! A spokesman says the 60 door decals will be removed ‘as soon as it is practical’.
– Canoe.ca

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 57% of us will tell someone they have food wedged between their teeth. (12% will say it even if there isn’t.)
• 42% of men clean their navels every day. (13% are saving up for a sweater.)
• 39% of 18-to-34-year-olds claim they would quit their jobs if Facebook was blocked. (What, and have to do some work?)
• 23% of TV viewers watched something other than the Super Bowl yesterday. (Did you see those hilarious cat attacks on “America’s Funniest Home Videos”? Priceless!)
• 8% of men admit they have checked sports scores during church. (And discovered their team didn’t have a prayer.)
• 2% of single women will get engaged before the end of February. (Almost all on Valentine’s Day.)

FOR THE RECORD:
✓ The University of Alberta’s gymnasium in Edmonton was the scene of a new Guinness World Record for dodgeball on Friday as more than 1,250 spongy red balls flew between 4,979 players for about an hour. It’s the 3rd time since 2010 that the U of A has set a new record in the event. (These people have got a lot of balls.)
– QMI Agency
✓ Over 17,000 mostly beer-fueled spectators packed a Philadelphia arena Friday for the 20th annual “Wing Bowl”, an annual eating extravaganza organized by Sports Radio 94 WIP. 127-lb Takeru Kobayashi of Japan walked away with the $20,000-prize after devouring a total of 337 chicken wings during the 30-minute contest. That easily smashed the previous record of 255. (Asked how he did it, Kobayashi said, “Erp!!!”)
– Reuters.com

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Newt Gingrich’s name at birth was Newton Leroy McPherson.
– “Los Angeles Times”
• Twitter is said to be more addictive than cigarettes.
– “The Guardian”

BS CHRONOMETER 02.06.12