Tuesday, January 23, 2001 Edition: #1975
THINGS YOUR KID WILL SURELY BLURT OUT NEXT TIME YOU HAVE COMPANY:
• “Mommy, how long are they staying?”
• “I better warn you people. My dad only paid me to be good for an hour.”
• “Hey, didn’t she used to be skinnier?”
• “Daaaddddddyyyyyy! I pooooooopppiiiieeed!”
• “That isn’t what you said about your boss last night.”
• Your ‘Ouch-I-hit-my-thumb-with-the-hammer’ word.
• “My dad wears Garfield underwear.”
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
News from the set of “Spider-Man” – star Tobey Maguire has had to undergo repeated sessions with a hypnotist to overcome claustrophobia inside the form-fitting hooded costume (wow, what a superhero!) . . . A caterer who worked “Temptation Island” claims the production crew had to shut down cameras one morning when 3 (that’s THREE) of the cast members engaged in sex on the beach in front of their hotel (she ain’t saying who, dammit!) . . . Actress Tea Leoni reportedly talked 3 pals into playing a round of ‘strip golf’ recently, and hubby David Duchovny wasn’t one of them (now there’s one ‘skins’ game where EVERYBODY loses their shirt!).
TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Three comedies that didn’t exactly set the world on fire — Jim Carrey plays a man with multiple personalities whom falls in love with a woman, only to find out his other personalities have too in “Me, Myself & Irene” . . . Bruce Willis in “The Kid”, where ‘the kid’ is somehow transported from the ‘70s to 2000 to help his unhappy older self get in touch with who he used to be (huh?) . . . And Stephen Dorff has the lead in “Cecil B Demented” as a lunatic indie-film director who kidnaps a Hollywood actress (Melanie Griffith) and forces her to star in his underground movie.
WARM WARNING:
After a weekend meeting in Shanghai, the ‘Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change’ issued a report YESTERDAY warning that average temperatures in the Northern Hemisphere are rising more quickly than predicted just 5 years ago. (Y’know, these dire warnings would have more impact if they weren’t issued in January when you’re freezing your buns off.)
IT’S A WEIRD WORLD:
• In Scotland, the ‘Fire Service Fairness & Diversity Forum’, set up to tackle sexism, is considering getting rid of the title “firefighter” because it’s “too aggressive”. (Fire dissuader?)
• THIS WEEK a Danish stripper is in court over $25,000 claimed on her income tax. Seems she tried to claim a boob job as a business expense! (At least her business isn’t sagging anymore.)
GOOFY NEW GIZMOS:
• “Autoweek” reports that a company called AMS is selling the “Ontime Payment Protection Device” to car dealers, new software that disables your car if you miss a payment. (Now they’re working on a similar device for pacemakers.)
• A British company is now putting out an entire line of ‘edible clothes’. You can munch your way through tuxedos, suits, ties, evening gowns and even shoes — all made of candy. (If this catches on, I’ll eat my shorts.)
THE BULL SHEET 01.23.01
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1957 [44] Princess Caroline Grimaldi of Monaco, Monte Carlo MON, idle rich girl
1974 [27] Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, Long Beach CA, TV actress (Marti-“Two Guys & a Girl”, “Beverly Hills 90210″ [1994-98])
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “National Handwriting Day”, a day set aside to encourage more legible handwriting. THIS WEEK is “National Handwriting Analysis Week”.
TODAY is “National Pie Day”, celebrating the pie as an ‘art form’. (I like it more as a weapon.)
ONE YEAR AGO . . .
2000 “American Beauty” and TV’s “The Sopranos” win the big awards at the “Golden Globes”
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1942 [59] ‘Tupperware’ is invented (that stuff in your cupboard you can’t find the lids for)
1981 [20] 1st NHLer to score 50 goals in 50 games (Mike Bossy-NY Islanders)
1986 [15] 1st “Rock & Roll Hall of Fame” inductees include Elvis Presley, Chuck Berry and Fats Domino
1991 [10] “Seinfeld” debuts on NBC-TV as a regular weekly sit-com
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1935 [66] Lowest-ever recorded Ontario temperature (-58.3 C at Iroquois Falls)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Chinese New Year (‘Year of the Snake’)
[Thurs] Robbie Burns Day
[Thurs] Women’s Healthy Weight Day
Canadian Skiing & Snowboarding Week (next week is ‘Autograph My Cast Week’)
International Life Balance Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
SUPER BOWL QUIZ:
Q: Which team has played in the most Super Bowls?
A: Dallas has appeared in 8 (1971-72, 1976, 1978-79, 1993-94, 1996), followed by Denver with 6 (1978, 1987-88, 1990, 1998-99). [Source: Superbowl.com]
Q: Which was the 1st ‘dome team’ to win a Super Bowl?
A: The St Louis Rams, last year. [Source: “St Louis Post Dispatch”]
Q: What was the official name of the first ‘Super Bowl’?
A: ‘The AFL-NFL World Championship Game’. [Source: “Milwaukee Journal Sentinel”]
BS TRIVIA:
Q: Who is the patron saint of skiers?
A: St Bernard.
(Source: “Land O’ Useless Facts”)
BS TAG LINE:
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
