Wednesday, January 17, 2024 – Edition: #7636
Another Sheetload of Bull!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Doritos Dinamita has a major star on board for its 2024 Super Bowl commercial — but we don’t know who it is yet. The spicy chip line shared a mysterious picture of its unrevealed spokesperson, which shows the celeb holding a bag of Doritos with their back turned to the camera, obscuring their face. Frito-Lay describes its spokesperson as an “icon,” but that’s all we know so far. The celeb will star in Doritos’ first-ever Dinamita-focused Super Bowl ad. Doritos has advertised during the big game for 23 years. The 2024 Super Bowl takes place Sunday, Feb. 11 in Las Vegas.
-EW
★ Kate Beckinsale is mourning the loss of her stepfather. Roy Battersby died last week after battling 2 types of cancer. The television director, who was behind the shows “Between The Lines”, “Inspector Morse”, “Cracker” and “A Touch of Frost”, was surrounded by family when he died at 87 on January 10. Beckinsale posted to Instagram alongside a fan-made video of her stepdad: “I have no words yet. Thank you…I fought for you with everything I had. Oh Roy I am so sorry I lost.” LINK: http://tinyurl.com/y9r4xass
-ContactMusic
★ Ryan Murphy is re-teaming with Javier Bardem and Chloë Sevigny, who have joined the Season 2 cast of “Monster”. The second season of Netflix’s true-crime series, titled “Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story” will focus on the brothers who were convicted of murdering their parents in 1996. Sevigny and Bardem will star as the sons’ mother and father, ‘Mary Louise “Kitty” Menendez’ and ‘José Menendez’. They join Nicholas Alexander Chavez (General Hospital) and Cooper Koch (Power Book II: Ghost) as Lyle and Erik.
-TVLine
★ Lindsay Lohan doesn’t think this “Mean Girls” joke is grool. Although the actress—who starred as ‘Cady Heron’ in the original 2004 film—recently attended the premiere of the Mean Girls musical and (spoiler!) even makes a cameo in the movie, she’s not pleased that the new film includes a “fire crotch” mention. Her rep said: “Lindsay was very hurt and disappointed by the reference in the film.” The reference dates back to 2006, when oil heir Brandon Davis infamously called Lohan the controversial name during a night out with Paris Hilton. No comment so far from writer Tina Fey or Paramount.
-E!
★ With Season 1 of Peacock’s “Ted” series out, Seth MacFarlane is leaving the future of the foul-mouthed teddy bear’s franchise in fans’ hands. While showrunners Paul Corrigan and Brad Walsh are open to returning for more seasons to follow the character’s crazy adventures with a younger’ John Bennett’, the “Family Guy” creator said that any future “Ted” projects — whether that be more seasons of the Peacock series or even a third film — will depend on “audience appetite.” The showrunners have indicated that conversations are happening about Ted’s future, and “There’s plenty of room to explore.”
-TheWrap
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” (ABC/Global): Rob Lowe, Ike Barinholtz, Kali Uchis
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jodie Foster, Christopher Briney, Alec Benjamin
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Clive Owen, Juno Temple
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Renée Rapp, Ian McShane, Black Pumas
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Dr. Nicole Martin, Erika Jayne
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Vice President Kamala Harris
• “The Talk” (CBS): Danielle Brooks, Anne Burrell
• “Live With Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Juno Temple, Adam Copeland, Rick Springfield and Richard Marx
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Edgar Ramírez, Phoebe Dynevor, Danny DeVito, Victoria Justice and Toby Gad
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Dan Levy, Cindy Hsu
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Reggie Watts
• “Chicago Med” Season 9 premiere, followed by season premieres of Chicago Fire and Chicago P.D.
• “I Can See Your Voice” (Fox): Divas Night: Dionne Warwick, Ron Funches, Todrick Hall, Cheryl Hines, Adrienne Bailon-Houghton
• “FBI True” (CBS): A wild cross-continent manhunt to catch the mastermind behind a Somali pirate attack on a yacht that killed 4 Americans.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Billie Eilish — has set up cameras in her music studio in order to show her “fun side”. She’s been writing her third record with her brother and collaborator Finneas, and said: “It’s just us candidly being siblings and joking and talking (rubbish) and stuff.” The album is due this summer, and she also has plans to write the script for a musical with Finneas.
• Juston Bieber — The NHL and Adidas collaborated with his fashion brand Drew House on designs for the 2024 NHL All-Star jersey collection. The vibrant new jerseys will be worn by players during the All-Star Game in Toronto on Feb. 3. They previously worked together on a reversible alternate jersey for the Maple Leafs.
• George Clinton – The legendary funk performer will be honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Friday. Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers will be among the speakers paying tribute to the Parliament/Funkadelic (P-Funk) frontman.
• Madonna — apologized after greeting her Toronto audience last week by shouting: Hello Boston!” The Spinal Tap-esque moment happened at Toronto’s Scotiabank Arena, days after she performed in Boston. A fan-shot TikTok shows her asking the crowd: “Are you guys mad at me ’cause I said ‘Hello, Boston!’? I’m sorry. What kind of (bleeped) up (bleep) is that? That would be like if you guys were saying, ‘Hey, Lady Gaga’s playing tonight!’” LINK: http://tinyurl.com/3yyktx45
• Queen – The concert film “Queen Rock Montreal” hits IMAX theaters tomorrow through Sunday, bringing to the big screen the spectacle that was Queen’s shows at Forum de Montréal Nov. 2425, 1981. A preview clip of the group’s performance of ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ has been released. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/y93ntp5n
• Luke Combs – has written another song about fatherhood. After teasing an unreleased one earlier this month, he has posted another acoustic performance, writing in the caption: “New tune called ‘The Man He Sees in Me’ that I wrote with my buddy @imjoshphillips. Hope y’all like it!” He filmed the video while on “dad duty” after a recent hunting trip. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/3cp2ju3u
• HARDY – The story of how he became the country and rock-melding star he is today is told in the new short film “becoming THE CROW”. Out now on YouTube, the film documents HARDY’s fast-rising career, live shows and the development of his latest album “the mockingbird & THE CROW”. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/2f3hspvp
• Rascal Flatts — Joe Don Rooney celebrated 28 months of sobriety by sharing an uplifting message about the changes he’s made in his life — and how those might benefit others. He wrote: “I’m having a wonderful morning and I think today is going to be a great day. One day at a time. That’s the AA way…but the steps and the guard rails of the AA way, can be beneficial to anyone…” LINK: http://tinyurl.com/mw2ffhtx
SHOOTING THE BULL
HUMOR ME:
Earlier, you may have heard that the experts are telling us that men and women have different immune responses to seasonal illnesses – it basically concluded that the “man cold” is a real thing. Now comes this: researchers are telling us that men and women have different responses to – jokes, as well. A study carried out by Oxford University found that men tend to rate visual and slapstick jokes more highly than women do, while women tend to prefer jokes that involve relationship dynamics. Both sexes clearly considered jokes that deploy puns and wordplay funnier than any other presented topic. And both men and women were least enthusiastic about political jokes.
(Shame. There’s never a shortage of them running for office!)
(I’m just not sure I can trust any type of research about humor that comes from the same country that gave us Benny Hill and Blackadder!)
-CTV
FAMILY MATTERS:
Families are getting smaller, and experts say that’s not going to change anytime soon. A new study by German researchers is revealing a significant transformation in family dynamics – and it points to a steep decline in the number of relatives the average person will have in the near future. And they say that this will alter the structure of families, leading to fewer younger relatives — like cousins, nieces, nephews, and grandchildren, while the number of older relatives, like grandparents and great-grandparents, will rise. The international study analyzed historical and projected data from the United Nations. The researchers say they found that in 1950, a 65-year-old woman had, on average, 41 living relatives. By 2095, this number is expected to drop to just 25. The problem? Smaller families mean fewer younger relatives to provide care for the older generation.
(But on the plus side, for the grandparents, it means fewer Christmas presents to buy!)
(After visiting with relatives over the holidays, I can tell you this: While my family may be getting smaller, the ones who are still around are definitely getting LARGER!)
-StudyFinds
SNOOZE NEWS:
So – how did you sleep last night? No so good? Kinda figured, because according to a new survey, the average person gets what they call “a perfect night’s sleep” just 132 times a year. The poll of 2,000 adults in the US also found that they average 120 “good” sleeps each year. Unfortunately, that leaves 113 nights each year in which we have “bad” sleep – or even end up staying awake all night. Why? Recent stats show the average American goes to bed feeling stressed or anxious about 3 days per week. And what are the most-common methods used to help drift off? 44% of respondents have tried reading, 42% drank warm milk, 37% took CBD products, and 27% used melatonin. But only 28% found the method they used most often to be “very effective”.
(I was shocked that the average person has 113 “bad” nights of sleep per year. But then I realized it’s true. In fact, my wife and I usually start the day by fighting to be the first to complain about how poorly we slept!)
(Sometimes, I’m lucky enough to get 3 or 4 “good” sleeps in one day – but I’m a professional!)
-StudyFinds
HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT WITHOUT GOING TO THE GYM:
So, how about those New Year’s resolutions? Or should I say…do you remember your New Year’s resolutions? With today being “Ditch New Year’s Resolutions Day”, here’s a friendly reminder that stats show 80% of people who made New Year’s resolutions have tapped out by the second week of January. But on the other hand, if your resolution was to…say…lose weight THIS YEAR, you’ve still got plenty of time to do it. Michael Hamlin is a personal trainer and founder of EverFlex Fitness. He points out that while a healthy diet is essential, you can help things along by incorporating these enjoyable methods of burning more calories without ever having to set foot in a gym . . .
1. Laugh more: Laughing for just 10-15 minutes a day can burn up to 40 calories. When you laugh, your body’s muscles contract and expand, which increases your heart rate and oxygen consumption. (You’d think just this fact alone would encourage SOMEONE in my family to laugh at my jokes!)
2. Park further away from your destination: Small habits add up. You could also try getting off the subway or bus a stop earlier than you need to. This will help you get extra steps in, and make feel invigorated when you arrive at work. (Especially with the way the weather has been lately!)
3. Walk after meals: Instead of sitting down, try lacing up your shoes for a brisk walk. It’ll lower the post-meal blood sugar spike, and help you use up that energy right away. (What post-meal energy?)
4. Do some chores: Vacuuming for 30 minutes can burn 99-166 calories, depending on your weight. Mowing the lawn for 30 minutes can burn up to 200 calories. (And shoveling snow? You could lose weight AND the feeling in your hands!)
5. Pace around the house: Take a stroll around your apartment, office or even around town if you arrive early to meet a friend. It helps get extra steps in, keeps body heat high, and can help keep joints in the lower extremities from stiffening.
6. Do some deep breathing: Believe it or not, taking 4-5 slow, deep breaths before you eat can have a significant impact on the body’s ability to burn calories versus storing them. (Not!)
7. Take cold showers: If you can handle it, do it. This causes the body to burn calories in order to generate heat and maintain your body’s core temperature. (I cannot begin to tell you how many times I’ve been told to do this – by my wife!)
8. Do calf raises while you cook: Simply stand with your feet about shoulder-width apart and then move to your tippy-toes, and slowly lower yourself back down to the floor. (Every little bit helps. It also hurts…)
9. Get enough sleep: During sleep, the body goes into repair and recovery mode. It also equals better hormone function, making you less likely to overeat. (Unless you, like me, have perfected the fine art of “sleep-snacking”!)
10. Set a daily step goal on your smartwatch: Do this to remind yourself when it’s time to get up and walk throughout the day. Doing it a few times will add up to additional steps – and the burning of more calories. (Unless you walk to the donut store!)
[***See “BS Reasons to Party”, below***]
-Fox
DID YOU KNOW?
The days of the BlackBerry being the “it” smartphone are long gone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t experience the comforting “click” of its physical keyboard when using your iPhone. A new case, which debuted at last week’s Consumer Electronics Show, actually connects its keyboard to your iPhone, to give you that classic BlackBerry “feel”. It’s called Clicks, and it was developed by a team of people who previously worked at major tech brands like Apple, BlackBerry and Google. But feeling that click doesn’t come cheap. List price: US$139. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/5n8snpmz
-CNN
BS CHRONOMETER 01.17.24
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Ditch New Year’s Resolutions Day”. Face it, some have already been broken, and the rest you were never going to keep anyway, right? (My “Ditch New Year’s Resolution Day” started before the end of ‘Auld Lang Syne’!)
• “Customer Service Day”, a great day to reflect on the most important asset of any business — customers. A chance for business owners to thank customers and clients for their business, and maybe offer special promotions for VIPs and loyal customers. (Which, of course, might create some extra revenue, too!)
• “Hot-Buttered Rum Day”, celebrating the warm alcoholic beverage flavored with butter, salt, cinnamon, allspice, nutmeg, and cloves. These ingredients form a batter that is then mixed with rich, dark rum.
• “Kid Inventors Day”, to acknowledge the accomplishments of kid inventors and encourage the creativity of future kid inventors. It’s estimated a half-million children and teens invent things each year. Among them – water skis, earmuffs, and the Popsicle. LINK: http://www.kidinventorsday.com
• “Bootleggers Day”, honoring the makers of ‘hooch’ throughout history. Why today? It’s the birthday of famed bootlegger Al Capone. Also, the US officially went “dry” with the start of prohibition on Jan. 17, 1920. (Also, because Templeton Rye Whiskey came up with this excuse for free promotion!)
• “Classy Day”. Taking place on the anniversary of the 1922 birth of actress and classy lady Betty White, the day is in honor of her “and all the women who bring their grace and gifts to their communities and the larger world.” White passed away Dec. 31, 2021, less than 3 weeks before her 100th birthday.
• “Benjamin Franklin Day”, Born on this date in 1706. Ben Franklin was a polymath – an expert on a variety of subjects. In addition to being one of America’s founding fathers, he was a prolific inventor, author, printer, politician, diplomat, musician, and postmaster. He also stopped attending school at the age of 10. (***See “BS Deep Thought”, below***)
• “Museum Selfie Day”, this internet event invites fans, curators, and museum managers to snap a photo of themselves in front of their favorite collections and share it on Instagram and Twitter. (#nerd?)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Maintenance Day
[Thurs] Thesaurus Day
[Fri] New Friends Day
[Sat] Use Your Gift Card Day
This Week Is…Pizza Week
This Month Is…CBD Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1931 [93] James Earl Jones, Arkabutla MI, movie actor (voice of ‘Darth Vader’ in the “Star Wars” franchise, also known for “This is CNN” and as the voice of ‘Mufasa’ in both the 1994 and 2019 “The Lion King” films)
1939 [85] Maury Povich, Washington DC, retired TV host (“Maury” 1991-2022)/married to Connie Chung since 1984
1955 [69] Steve Earle, Fort Monroe VA, rock/country/folk singer-guitarist (Copperhead Road’, ‘Guitar Town’)
1957 [67] Steve Harvey, Atlanta GA, comedian-TV personality (“Steve Harvey” 2012-17, “Family Feud” since 2010, “Judge Steve Harvey” since 2022/“Miss Universe” host 2015-19, 2021)/movie actor (“Madea Goes to Jail”)
1959 [65] Susanna Hoffs, Los Angeles CA, pop singer (The Bangles-‘Manic Monday, Walk Like an Egyptian’/married to filmmaker Jay Roach since 1993
1962 [62] Jim Carrey, Newmarket ON, movie actor/comedian (“Dumb & Dumber”, “Ace Ventura”)
1964 [60] Michelle Obama, Chicago IL, US First Lady 2009-17/wife of 44th US President Barack Obama/fashion icon/poverty awareness and healthy eating advocate/author/keynote speaker
1971 [53] Kid Rock (Robert Ritchie), Romeo MI, country-rock-hip hop singer (‘All Summer Long’, ‘Picture’ w/Sheryl Crow)
1980 [44] Zooey Deschanel, Los Angeles CA, TV actress (‘Jessica Day’ on “New Girl” 2011-18)/movie actress (“Elf”)/pop singer (She & Him-‘In the Sun’, ‘I Can Hear Music’) COMING UP… “Harold and the Purple Crayon”, 2024
1980 [44] Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Odessa Ukraine pro dancer/choreographer (“Dancing with the Stars” 2006-2017, “So You Think You Can Dance” judge since 2024)
1984 [40] Calvin Harris, Dumfries Scotland, DJ/singer-songwriter/producer (f/Rihanna-‘This Is What You Came For’, f/Ne-Yo-‘Let’s Go’)
1997 [27] Jake Paul, Cleveland OH, influencer/YouTube personality/MMA fighter/pro boxer/TV actor (“Bizaardvark” 2016-18)/brother of Logan Paul
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1984 [40] The US Supreme Court rules that private use of home VCRs to tape TV programs for later viewing does not violate federal copyright laws
2007 [17] Humorist, journalist, and author Art Buchwald dies at age 81, and has his video obituary posted, in which he declares, “Hi. I’m Art Buchwald, and I just died.”
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2006 [18] Kristen Hall announces she is leaving Sugarland so she can “stay home and write songs” (the band continues with only Jennifer Nettles and Kristian Bush)
2015 [09] Police are called to a Las Vegas hotel where a fight involving The Weeknd is raging (he’s arrested after allegedly punching a cop who tries to intervene)
2016 [08] David Bowie reaches #1 on North American album charts for the first time with “Blackstar”, released 2 days before his January 10 death
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1995 [29] NFL’s LA Rams announce their move to St Louis (the USA’s #2 market goes without a pro football team for 20 years, but in the 2017-18 season there were 2 – the returned Rams and the former San Diego Chargers)
TODAY’S LAST . . .
1910 [114] The man believed to be the main developer of the flush toilet mechanism dies at age 72. His name? Thomas Crapper
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The can opener was invented 48 years after the can.
✓ No matter how cold it gets, gasoline will not freeze.
✓ Our fingers get wrinkly in water because wrinkled fingers can give us better grip on slippery objects underwater.
✓ The dark side of the moon is actually turquoise.
✓ Wal-Mart data shows that prior to a hurricane, people stock up the most on strawberry Pop-Tarts and beer.
✓ For one day in 2008 there was an app available in the App Store that cost US $999.99 — and did nothing. 8 people bought it.
-RandomFactGenerator, TheFactSite
Best of BS . . .
BS UNIVERSAL TRUTHS:
• Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
• At the end of every party, there is always a girl crying.
• One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your beer-to-urinal cycle becomes synchronized with a complete stranger’s.
• Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
• You’re never quite sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a fire in your backyard.
• Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
• It’s impossible to look cool while picking up a Frisbee.
• You can’t respect a man who carries a dog.
• Despite constant warnings, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
• Every guy has at least once flushed half way through when peeing — then raced against the flush.
-Emmitsburg, first published in BS in 2018
BS GREAT NAMES FOR CANNABIS DISPENSARIES:
• Pot’s Landing
• Fine Young Cannabis
• That’s How We Roll
• I Was Going to Name This Place, But Then I Got High
• The Coughy Shop
• We Be Weed
• Herb, Your Enthusiasm
• Gone to Pot
• Doobie Tuesday’s
• The Joint Joint
• Yes, We Cannabis
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2020
BS WEB GOODIE:
Too dark? http://tinyurl.com/59pwv9j9
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Always answer the door with your jacket in your hand. That way, depending on who’s there, you can either say you’ve just come in – or you’re about to leave!
BS WOULD YOU RATHER?
(***You run down the list while your caller decides which choice is more palatable …***)
• Would you rather wake up early and eat a good breakfast, or sleep in and skip breakfast?
• Would you rather be poor and good-looking, or rich and ugly?
• Would you rather only travel to work in a helicopter, or only travel to work on a horse?
• Would you rather be a chicken for one day, or be a cow for one day?
• Would you rather never eat pizza again, or be forced to watch an episode of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” every day?
• Would you rather be extremely allergic to your favorite food, or forced to eat your least favourite food one a week?
• Would you rather have to make a one-minute speech in front of 10,000, people or have to kiss a frog?
• Would you rather be in an elevator full of noisy high school students, or an elevator full of judgmental middle-aged men?
• Would you rather have to wear a tuxedo shirt every day for a month or have to wear a tutu every day for a month?
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is something you really wanted as a kid — but now look back on and shake your head?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: If you’re average, you’ll spend 2 months of your life doing THIS. What is it?
Answer: Vacuuming
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
“Glass, China, and Reputation, are easily crack’d, and never well mended.”
-Benjamin Franklin
