The Bull Sheet

January 30 2020

Thursday, January 30, 2020 – Edition #6623

100% Grade A Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Kobe Bryant’s public memorial could be such a massive event that organizers are considering holding it at the famous L.A. Coliseum because the Staples Center simply isn’t big enough. Of course, the Staples Center is considered “The House That Kobe Built” — but it only holds around 20,000 people. The Coliseum holds roughly 80,000 people — and the surrounding parks are capable of holding many, many more. No date for the memorial has yet been announced.
-TMZ
★ Paramount Pictures is reportedly looking to reboot the hit “Transformers” franchise with two new scripts currently in development. The film franchise, inspired by the toys and subsequent cartoon of the same name, launched in 2007 with director Michael Bay’s “Transformers”, which starred Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox, and prompted several sequels. No directors has been attached to either new script at this time, and it is believed that both projects will feature brand new casts.
-Canoe
★ Clint Eastwood says he has no plans to retire as a director – he wants to keep making movies into his 90s. Why? He told an interviewer: “I like doing it, it’s nice to be able to have a paying job.” He says that he knows the exact moment he knew he could direct – it came when he was shooting the western TV series “Rawhide,” which debuted in 1959. The 89-year-old released his latest movie, “Richard Jewell”, late last year, and vows it will not be his last stint behind the camera.
-Canoe
★ Emily Blunt admits that she ”forgot” to reply to Chris Martin’s joke pitch for “A Quiet Place” musical. The Coldplay frontman revealed earlier this month he feels ”sick” whenever he sees the trailer for the upcoming sequel “A Quiet Place 2” because it reminds him of the time he sent creator John Krasinski and his wife and co-star Emily an email poking fun at a possible spin off, but he never received a reply.
-ContactMusic

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Renee Zellweger, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, Caroline Polachek
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): J.J. Watt, Louis Tomlinson
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Samantha Bee, Michael Stipe
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Leslie Jones, Max Greenfield, Taika Waititi, Chris Coleman
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Antonio Banderas, Rob Lowe, Kesha
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Megan Gailey, Brent Morin, Benji Aflalo
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Desus & Mero
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Jameela Jamil, Tommy Davidson
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Max Greenfield
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kendall Jenner
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): George MacKay, Dean-Charles Chapman, Annie Murphy, Emerald Belles
• “The Good Place” (NBC): Special 90-minute series finale includes an expanded final episode as well as an after-show hosted by Seth Meyers.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alessia Cara – is not only hosting the 49th Juno Awards, she is also the top nominee. The 23-year-old from Brampton, ON has six nominations: Juno Fan Choice, Artist of the Year, Songwriter of the Year, Single of the Year, Pop Album of the Year and Album of the Year. The JUNOs are March 15 in Saskatoon, SK.
• Miley Cyrus – Why wasn’t she at the Grammys to celebrate her dad Billy Ray’s win? She tweeted old video of the 2013’s MTV EMA’s, where she famously fished a blunt out of her purse while accepting an award for best video, and blazed it up on stage. She captioned it: “& we wonder why I’m not invited to award shows anymore.”
• Eminem – His new album, “Music to be Murdered By” is his 10th No. 1 on the Billboard 200. That makes him just the sixth act in history to reach that total, after The Beatles (19 No. 1s), Jay-Z (14), Bruce Springsteen, Barbra Streisand (11 each) and Elvis Presley (10).
• 50 Cent – will be honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame this morning.
• James Blunt – His father, Charles, was scheduled to undergo a potentially life-saving kidney transplant yesterday. Last month, James released a poignant music video for his song ‘Monsters’, which paid tribute to his ailing father. Quote: “The remarkable thing about putting this song out, is that so many people have offered kidneys as a result of that.”
• Queen – guitarist Brian May has designed his very own sports bra. That’s right, he has stepped into the world of women’s fashion after decorating a sports bra with illustrations of guitars. His handiwork is on sale (in multiple colors) for $45 through his Brian May Guitars website.
• Fleetwood Mac — Mick Fleetwood says that a reunion with Lindsey Buckingham is unlikely. While discussing the upcoming tribute concert for Peter Green, he said that he cannot envision a scenario in which he’d play with the guitarist again.
• Seaforth – The Aussie duo, who are enjoying success with their collaboration with Mitchell Tenpenny, ‘Anything She Says’, say that moving to Nashville has been a challenge at times. How so? Learning to drive on the other side of the road, for one…but, “I think the biggest adjustment for [us] was being away from the ocean and the coast.”
• Cassadee Pope – says she is writing for her next album, and fans can expect her next batch of songs to feature a lot of revealing, vulnerable songwriting about her family and her relationship with actor Sam Palladio.

BANNED AID:
It’s the perfect thing for anyone who has recently sworn off meat, but is still occasionally tempted. The brand “Strong Roots” has introduced a bacon-scented “meat patch” to help former carnivores curb their cravings. Strong Roots, known for its plant-based products, teamed up with Charles Spence, a scientist who specializes in experimental psychology, to develop the product. Spence says that scent can reduce food cravings, and in this case, the simple act of scratching and sniffing the meat patch can lead a person to imagine the act of eating the food. The product is currently being tested in England.
(If that worked, we’d all be happy to just sit in a restaurant and smell what everybody else is having!)
(Is this an early April Fool’s joke?)
(I think my kids have one of these with a veggie smell…)
-Guardian

KOBE: CHILDREN’S AUTHOR?
A novelist who was writing a children’s book with Kobe Bryant has decided to delete it rather than continue with the project. Brazilian Paulo Coelho, author of “The Alchemist”, says that the two first conceived the project, aimed at inspiring underprivileged children to overcome adversity through sports, in 2016, and finally put pen to paper a few months ago. On Sunday, hours after Bryant, his daughter Gianna and seven others were killed in a helicopter crash, the 72-year-old decided he would not continue with the project, tweeting: “I learned a lot by interacting with you. Will delete the draft right now, this book has lost its reason.” He did, however, leave the door open for a future Kobe-inspired book, typing: “That doesn’t stop me from writing someday about things I learned from Kobe and how much of a larger-than-life person he was.”
(Classy move. The guy could have made millions….)
-NYPost

BUELLER . . .BUELLER:
The University of Missouri is expanding its controversial phone-tracking system. Beginning this week, all new students on campus will be required to use an app that keeps an eye on their movements. The app, called “SpotterEDU” uses the campus’ Wi-Fi network and phone sensors to ensure students show up for classes. Up until now, the app was only mandatory for freshmen athletes who were struggling academically. A spokesperson claims that the new measures are not intended to create a “snitch-state” on campus, and that everyone is tracked electronically by other systems every day. The American Civil Liberties Union says it has “deep privacy concerns.”
(Wouldn’t it crazy if some rebel student had the nerve to go somewhere without his/her phone?  I know. Not gonna happen.)
(Because apparently it isn’t possible to simply take attendance?)
-NYPost

GREY NEW DISCOVERY:
Scientists have confirmed that stress can indeed turn your hair grey. Researchers at Harvard were looking to find out what exactly it is that makes our hair turn grey. Based on anecdotal evidence, they started by looking for biological proof that stress saps the pigment out of hair. Much to their surprise, they found that the process starts with the sympathetic nervous system, which orchestrates all of the critical body processes that we never have to think about—our heart rate, our breathing, as well as things like digesting food and fighting off germs. They found that stress can cause the sympathetic nervous system to do permanent damage to a population of cells responsible for coloring hair. Based on these findings, it’s possible that there may eventually be a way to either preserve the stem cells which add color to our hair, or control the effect that the sympathetic nervous system has on them.
(In other words, not in our lifetime!)
(And I thought it was kids, not stress, that cause grey hair. Wait. Same thing.)
(Now, could they please try to figure out what makes CHEST hair turn grey? Asking for a friend…)
-Time

LIFE HACKS TO GET YOU THROUGH WINTER:
✓ If your car ends up getting stuck in snow, cat litter provides enough friction to help your tires get moving again. Keep a box in your trunk to save yourself a lot of hassle.
✓ Have lip balm on hand to ease cracked knuckles. The cold weather will make your skin dry and sore, and sometimes not even hand cream is up to the task.
✓ Use a disposable razor to gently shave along the surface of your sweaters to get rid of balled-up bits.
✓ Make your own throat-soothing remedy by mixing some powdered ginger with honey and a squeeze of lemon in a mug of hot water.
✓ Don’t skip the hat because you’re worried about looking tousled when you reach work. Take some dry shampoo with you to battle ‘hat hair’ when you arrive.
✓ Make hot chocolate in your slow cooker. Because who doesn’t want a massive vat of hot chocolate on the go when it’s chilly outside? Slow-cooking gives it a deeper, toasty flavor.
✓ Wash your face with an oil-based cleanser. Fend off the discomfort of dry skin using hydrating skincare products … or make your own using a mixture of olive oil and sugar.
✓ Mix 2 parts vinegar with 1-part water, then spray onto your car’s windshield to prevent it icing over. You’ll save yourself scraping time the next day.
✓ Invest in an electric blanket. Turn it on while you get ready for bed, then prepare for peak snuggling.
✓ Knit yourself some mittens. Gloves might be easier for texting, but mittens are proven to keep your hands warmer. They’re also loads easier to make. (Especially if you have a Grandma!)
– Condensed from Metro.co.uk

DID YOU KNOW?

With fears of a coronavirus pandemic continuing to escalate, Canada’s Ministry of Health is recommending against the use of face masks as protection from the virus. For those seeking respiratory protection, the ministry says it’s “more important” to avoid putting your hands near your face — and to follow standard flu protocols. Face masks can easily become dirty from lack of washing — which means that they’re actually more likely to keep germs in than keep them out.
-FreshDaily

BS CHRONOMETER 01.30.20

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1930 [90] Gene Hackman, San Bernardino CA, movie actor (“The French Connection”, “Unforgiven”)

1941 [79] Dick Cheney, Lincoln NE, politician (U.S. Vice President under George W. Bush from 2001 to 2009)

1951 [69] Phil Collins, London UK, rock/pop singer/drummer (‘In the Air Tonight’, Genesis-‘Invisible Touch’)

1974 [46] Christian Bale, Haverfordwest Wales, movie actor (“The Dark Knight” Batman trilogy, “American Hustle”)

1974 [46] Olivia Colman, England, movie actress (“The Favourite”)/TV actress (“The Crown”) since 2019

1980 [40] Josh Kelley, Augusta GA, pop-country singer (‘Only You’, ‘Amazing’)/brother of Lady Antebellum singer Charles Kelley/wed to actress Katherine Heigl since 2006

1980 [40] Wilmer Valderrama, Miami FL, TV actor (‘Special Agent Nick Torres’ on “NCIS” since 2016, “That ’70s Show” 1998-2006)

1984 [36] Kid Cudi (Scott Mescudi), Cleveland OH, rapper (w/Kanye West-‘All Of the Lights’, ‘Day ‘n Nite’)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Croissant Day”, the first step of which is being able to say the French word. It’s not ‘CROY-sent’, it’s ‘cwah-SAHN’.
NET: http://www.punchbowl.com/holidays/national-croissant-day

• “Inane Voicemail Message Day”, a time to change, shorten, replace, or delete that annoying voicemail message … which you likely recorded on Day One and then never altered.

• “Yodel for Your Neighbors Day”, yodeling is a singing style that most people associate with Switzerland or being in the mountains. It consists of people going back and forth between octaves very fast to get a unique type of sound. (Does this mean that Celine Dion is a yodeler?)

• “National Escape Day”, it’s all about taking a well-deserved break from all the hassles and struggles of everyday life (as well as your yodeling neighbors)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Backwards Day
[Fri] Brandy Alexander Day
[Sat] Change Your Password Day
[Sat] Ice Cream For Breakfast Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2015 [05] Record producer Suge Knight is arrested in LA on suspicion of murder the day after a hit-and-run incident (he allegedly had a beef with 2 men on the set of “Straight Outta Compton”, and later ran them down with his truck). In 2018, he was sentenced to 28 years in prison.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1969 [51] The Beatles stage their famous rooftop concert atop Apple Records in London. After performing a few songs, police shut them down as a large crowd gathered. It would be The Beatles’ last public performance.

2013 [07] Mick Jagger is named “Most Stylish Rock Star of All-Time” by lifestyle website Complex.com

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1975 [45] Ernő Rubik applies for a patent for his “Magic Cube” invention, later to be known as the “Rubik’s Cube”

2010 [10] “Avatar” becomes the first movie to gross over $2 billion worldwide (eventually amasses $2.8 billion)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2011 [09] Over half-a-million people participate in the “World’s Largest Wildlife Survey” after extreme cold drives non-native birds into Britain’s backyards

2017 [03] Scientists in China reveal the oldest known human ancestor, the 540-million-year-old Saccorhytus in a fossil

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Winston Churchill once designed greeting cards for Hallmark.
✓ Ernest Hemingway read his own obituary in newspapers after his plane crashed in 1954.
✓ Some butterflies’ tongues are twice as long as their bodies.
✓ The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds.
✓ For centuries, Europeans refused to eat potatoes. (They’re not mentioned in the Bible.)
✓ Bathrooms in British Ramada Inns are stocked with complimentary rubber duckies.
-BathroomReadersInstitute

Best of BS . . .
BS THINGS I DON’T GET ABOUT FOOTBALL:

• Why do the referees dress like they work at Footlocker?
• How is it that the coaches can’t hear me yelling the correct play call through the TV?
• Do they wear all that gear to protect themselves, or to hurt others?
• When is the third half?
• Where are the moms on the sidelines with oranges?
• Why isn’t the ball shaped like a foot?
• How is it that it hasn’t been officially promoted to a religion yet?
• Having your punter as the lead blocker on a fake punt. I mean…really.
• What is super about the bowl?
• Why is the field measured in yards if it’s called FOOTball?
• What’s the difference between a home run and a hole in one?
• The appeal.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

BS IT’S NOT A COMPLIMENT IF:
• It begins with “No offense, but…”
• They can’t say it with a straight face.
• It contains the words, “You look really good from far away”.
• They add, “…for your age”.
• Your response is, “What is that supposed to mean?”
• There are air quotes.
• It is followed by the word, “but”.
• You need chocolate and a hug after you hear it.
• You are saying it to the mirror.
-Twitter, 2018

BS WEB GOODIE:
Stoned by the lake: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2y2GdkdDbA

BS RANDOM JOKE:
My kid is turning out just like me. Well-played, karma. Well-played.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What sound is nearly impossible for you to ignore?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  Guys stand a better chance of impressing women and getting a date if they have one of THESE. What is it?
Answer:  A cat.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If you never try, you’ll never know.

 

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