July 29, 2003

Tuesday, July 29, 2003        Edition: #2589
More From the Sheethouse!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Disney/Pixar’s “Finding Nemo” has become the highest-grossing animated film of all time, surpassing 1994’s “The Lion King” with $313 million – and counting . . . After Linkin Park finishes their current tour, lead singer Chester Bennington will undergo surgery for a hiatal hernia, a condition that’s causing him to vomit – even when he’s singing (no wonder he feels “Faint”) . . . Thanks to the success of “Pirates of the Caribbean”, Johnny Depp is now said to be the favorite to play ‘Willy Wonka’ in a much anticipated remake of the classic “Charlie & the Chocolate Factory” . . . Gossip monger Matt Drudge reports on his radio show that LA Laker Kobe Bryant’s assault case, scheduled for an AUGUST 6th hearing, involves anal sex (one thing sure – it’s certainly turned into a pain-in-the-butt for Kobe) . . . Russell Crowe has bought the farm – the one next door to his Australian estate for a reported $500,000-plus, where he’ll build himself a new house, then give his old shack to his brother . . . Tampa Bay Bucs’ coach Jon Gruden tells “Playboy” magazine that if the team repeats as Super Bowl champs – he’ll dance down a highway in only a jockstrap (on that note we say, “Go Eagles!”).

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Daredevil“ (Action – DVD/VHS): Ben Affleck stars in this bigscreen comic book adaptation as blind attorney ‘Matt Murdock’ by day who turns into superhero ‘Daredevil’ by night – ‘The Man Without Fear’. Colin Farrell plays the deadly assassin ‘Bullseye’.
• “Solaris” (Sci-fi – DVD): George Clooney stars in this Steven Soderbergh film about terrified crew members on a lonely space station who experience strange phenomena. Based on Polish writer Stanislaw Lem’s 1961 sci-fi novel and the subsequent 1972 Russian film.
• “The Quiet American” (Drama – DVD): Michael Caine got an Oscar nomination for his portrayal of a boozed-out British reporter in pre-Vietnam War Southeast Asia whose cushy life is upset by the arrival of an eager beaver American aid worker (Brendan Fraser).
• “Spider” (Psychological Thriller – DVD): Ralph Fiennes plays an acute schizophrenic who stops taking his medication and starts revisiting his childhood haunts. Won ‘Best Canadian
Feature Film’ at the Toronto International Film Festival and ‘Best Director’ (David Cronenberg) at the Genie Awards.
• “Piglet’s Big Movie” (Family Animation – DVD/VHS): It’s Piglet’s first movie, in which Pooh and the rest of the AA Milne-created gang learn it doesn’t take somebody big to do big things. Includes 5 new songs by Carly Simon & Brian Hohlfeld.

PUTTING THE AVANT IN GARDE:
Animal-rights groups have been protesting a new exhibition at a London warehouse by British graffiti artist Banksy (Robin Banks) that features live animals. Among the ‘works of art’ – pigs with painted-on police uniforms, sheep in concentration camp stripes and a cow covered in images of Andy Warhol’s face.

LOOKS LIKE A STICK SHIFT:
A German court has ruled that police had the right to confiscate a woman’s drivers license – for being too skinny. The 22-year-old suffered from anorexia and weighed just 32.8 kg (72 lbs). She’s now up to 46 kg (101 lbs) and has to have a medical every 3 months to prove she’s fit to drive. She’s appealing the decision.

EQUIPPED FOR WAR:
“Newsweek” reports American troops found some interesting things alongside the bloodied, battered body of Uday Hussein, including Viagra, cologne, dress shirts, new underwear, a silk tie, some $100 million in cash – and a single condom.

UNISEX COPS:
Regulations for police officers in Victoria, Australia covering hair, moustaches and beards are no longer gender specific. That means long hair is OK for men – provided they wear it tied up in a bun. And presumably policewomen are now also free to grow beards and moustaches.

THE NEW BOTOX:
New anti-aging treatments known as ‘volume fillers’ are being touted as the best way to take years off a face. Unlike Botox, which gets rid of wrinkles by paralyzing the tiny muscles that help form the line, volume fillers work more like the original bovine collagen shots first popularized over 20 years ago. They simply plump up the tissue that lies just under the surface of the wrinkle. The new compounds are longer lasting and purportedly safer. One is ‘hyaluronic acid’, a fluid found naturally in human joints. Another, called ‘hylaform’, is derived from – huh? – rooster combs.

BUILDING A BETTER MOUSETRAP:
Researchers at Britain’s University of Warwick have developed a chocolate-scented mousetrap. They also tested cheese and vanilla scents, but found most mice prefer chocolate.

HAIR TIPS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW:
• Spend the money for a good haircut. Think of it as an investment.
• Don’t over-wash. Once every couple of days is sufficient for most people.
• Consider bangs, because styling just them gives an overall appearance of being groomed.
• Plan some quick fix-its for emergencies. One of the best is to simply move the part. Wear it on the left? Flip to the right and your hair will get an instant volume boost. Try a zig-zag part to take the focus off root re-growth.
• When all else fails, try an accessory – a beret, beanie or chic scarf.
Source: Condensed & edited from “Cleo” magazine.

FOR THE RECORD:
30-year-old Brian Walker of Newcastle UK has become the first to walk the entire length of Britain, 871 miles, while carrying a 7-ft-high, 40-lb pine door. Why’d he do it? When he was very young he was impressed when his father carried a door 4 miles home from a building store. He’ll now use the door in the study of his home.

BS AMAZING FACT:
Malaysian Muslim men can now divorce their wives through text messages on mobile phones, the “New Straits Times” reports, quoting a religious adviser to the government.

THE BULL SHEET 07.29.2K3

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1938 [65] Peter Jennings, Toronto ON, TV news anchor (“ABC World News Tonight” lead anchor 1965-1968, co-anchor 1978-1983, lead anchor 1983-present)  FACTOID: Became a US citizen on May 30, 2003.

1953 [50] Geddy Lee, Willowdale ON, rock singer/bassist (Rush-“Vapor Trails”, “Different Stages”)  FACTOID: Rush is in the line-up for WEDNESDAY’S “Molson Canadian Rocks for Toronto Concert” and will release the triple-disc live album and double-disc DVD “Rush in Rio” in SEPTEMBER.

1953 [50] Patti Scialfa, Deal NJ, classic rock singer (E Street Band-“Hungry Heart”)/Mrs Bruce Springsteen since 1991

1966 [37] Martina McBride (Schiff), Medicine Lodge KS, country singer (“Independence Day”, “The Way I Am”)

1973 [30] Wanya (‘Squirt’) Morris, Philadelphia PA, R&B singer (Boyz II Men-“I’ll Make Love to You”, “End of the Road”) whose singles had some of the longest chart runs in music history

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “International Lasagna Day” celebrating the famous Italian heart attack on a plate that’s become a worldwide fave. Almost all recipes for the ‘perfect lasagna’ feature ricotta as the cheese of choice. However, everybody seems to have their own secret ingredient. What’s yours? (Ours includes TWO eggs and slices of ham.)

TODAY is “Rain Day” in Waynesburg, Pennsylvania, an annual community event that started more than a hundred years ago when a farmer noticed it always seemed to rain on July 29th. They now claim it has rained on this date every year since 1796. It’s a good excuse for an annual party & ‘Miss Rain Day’ beauty pageant. Oh oh … today’s forecast is ‘mostly sunny’!
NET: http://www.greenemessenger.com/rain/history.html

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1907 [96] 1st ‘Boy Scout troop’ organized by Sir Robert Baden-Powell in London UK

1936 [67] 1st ‘TV program’ includes dancing, fashion show & comedy

1958 [45] ‘NASA’ established

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1926 [77] ‘Most kisses in a single movie’ as the film “Don Juan” racks up a smooch total of 127

1986 [17] Record for ‘hammock swinging’ begins (ends after 240 hours of lying around)

1988 [15] Reg Morris of Walsall ENG crawls on his hands & knees for a world record 28.5
miles (the world grovelling record)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Cheesecake Day
[Wed] National Foreplay Day
[Thurs] National Orgasm Day
[Thurs] Running of the Bulls begins (Strathmore AB)
[Mon] Holiday in 7 provinces & NT (BC Day, AB Heritage Day, Civic Holiday, Simcoe Day, etc)
This Week Is . . . National Salad Week
This Month Is . . . National Tennis Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS WHYZITS:

• Whyzit we don’t get goosebumps on our faces?
• Whyzit everyone thinks they have to drive BELOW the speed limit whenever there’s a cop car in sight?
• Whyzit a sandwich shop will charge you extra for anything additional on a sandwich but they won’t reduce the price if you tell them to hold something off?
• Whyzit there are 5 syllables in the word ‘monosyllabic’?
• Whyzit the least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish?

QUESTIONS THAT FREAK MEN OUT:
According to relationships writer Patty Lamberti, here are the 8 questions that will make your man cringe, turn red, or run out the door –
• Where is our relationship going?
• Do you love me?
• Am I fat?
• How many times have you had sex?
• Do you want to meet my parents?
• What should we do for Valentine’s Day?
• How much do you weigh?
• And after sex … What are you thinking?

BS PATENTED QUICK-PICK TRIVIA:
• Who is the only major-leaguer ever to hit 2 grand slams in a single inning?
a. Johnny Swat
b. Hank Aaron
c. Ken Griffey Jr [CORRECT]

• What has been eBay’s largest transaction to date?
a. Gulfstream II private jet for $4.9 million. [CORRECT]
b. Honus Wagner baseball card for $1.6 million.
c. Princess Leia’s gold bikini from “Star Wars” for $1.3 million.

• Which actress is currently majoring in psychology at Harvard U?
a. Hilary Duff
b. Natalie Portman [CORRECT]
c. Liv Tyler

• Where in Europe is beer considered a ‘staple food’?
a. Czech Republic
b. Bavaria [CORRECT]
c. Ireland
Source: Edited & revised from “Maxim”.

ALL-TIME BEST-SELLING ALBUMS:
5. Billy Joel “Greatest Hits Vol. I & II” (21 million)
4. Led Zeppelin ”Led Zeppelin IV” (22 million)
3. Pink Floyd “The Wall” (23 million)
2. Michael Jackson “Thriller” (26 million)
1. The Eagles “Their Greatest Hits 1971-1975″ (28 million)
Source: AskMen.com

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: In a poll of 800 adults, 36% said women probably do THIS more often than men.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Dump their partner.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
No one can go back and make a brand new start, but anyone can start from here and make a brand new end.

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