Monday, June 9, 2003 Edition: #2559
We’re Bullish on Radio!
TRASHY TABLOID BS:
• Despite being treated for an addiction to gambling, Ben Affleck somehow found himself back in a casino during a brief break from J-Lo recently, reports “Star” magazine. A little flutter on the blackjack table at the Hard Rock Hotel’s Peacock Lounge left him $700,000 richer … and reportedly in the doghouse with Jen.
• “PeopleNews” says P Diddy has decided to get Jen & Ben a pair of his ‘n hers Rolls-Royces as a wedding gift. “I heard they have some Bentleys. I want to upgrade them to Rolls-Royces”, he says with a distinct trace of sarcasm. Mr Diddy, who was spectacularly dumped by J-Lo 2 years ago, says he will not attend the ceremony, however. (Like he’d be invited.)
• TONIGHT the cast of “The Right Stuff” will gather in Hollywood for a 20th anniversary party, notes “E! Online”. The 1983 movie about the 7 original American astronauts starred Ed Harris, Dennis Quaid & Fred Ward.
• “News of the World” claims Nicole Kidman & movie hunk Jude Law have had yet another secret date in London. The hush-hush rendezvous was reportedly organized like a military operation with dummy maneuvers and decoy restaurant bookings to throw star watchers off the scent. The tab claims Jude is now telling pals he’s ‘madly in love’ with Nicole.
• Word is Nicole Kidman is on the brink of signing a recording deal. “Daily Express” says the 35-year-old actress has been in top-secret talks with EMI execs and is set to record an album in JULY.
• “Daily Dish“ reports that 41-year-old “Bruce Almighty” actor Jim Carrey is preparing to take on what may be his most challenging task to date – running in the New York Marathon. The tab says he’s courageously training for the 26-mile torture test that’s scheduled for November 2nd, but he already has one problem standing in his way – a growing bunion on his right foot. (Eww, too much information?)
• According to “Star” magazine, “Anger Management” star Adam Sandler is ensuring his pet British bulldog is included in his upcoming wedding nuptials – by ordering a tailored tuxedo and Hawaiian shirt ensemble for the pooch. It seems Sandler, who’s marrying his longtime girl Jackie Titone THIS SUMMER, wanted to ensure his 4-legged friend is well-dressed for the occasion so he asked the Sony Pictures costume department to make the outfits. By the way, ‘Meatball’ will be part of the wedding party. (This must be just the wedding Jackie dreamed of.)
• “National Enquirer” says “American Idol” winner Ruben Studdard has almost everything – a million-dollar recording contract, a management deal with record industry legend Clive Davis and even his own big-and-tall clothing line in the works. Everything, that is … except love. The tab claims Ruben has admitted to friends that he’s been lonely and feeling a romantic void in his life because he’s thrown all his energy into his singing career. (Aww, po’ Velvet Teddy Bear.)
• And “Weekly World News” has truly outdone themselves for ‘Breaking News Headlines’ this week – “Terrorists Plot to Crop Dust US Cities With LSD!”, “Space Alien Baby Found!”, “Iraq’s Propaganda Chief Has a New Hit Comedy Flick!”, “Scrolls Found in Casket Warn World Will End Soon!”, “World’s Smallest Belly Dancers Are Barely 2 Feet Tall!”, “Saddam’s Mustache Found!”, and “Dale Earnhardt’s Ghost Saves Marine’s Mom!” (now there’s a story with everything going for it except sex … what? … that was involved too?)
WHY WEEKENDS ARE WARMER:
The lack of a Saturday morning rush hour in major cities increases the levels of ‘ground-level ozone’ and causes warmer weekend weather, according to researchers at the University of Toronto. Their study shows that when weekend ozone levels are high, average temperatures are 1 degree higher than during the week. (OK, but how come it rains every weekend all summer?)
AND NOW THEY’RE SUGAR-FREE!
A new brand of scented condoms aimed at teenagers is raising a stink in Thailand. ‘Sweet Teen’ condoms which come in lime, cola and mixed fruit are being advertised with the slogan “teen confidence”. (Most teens who’ve tried them say it’s the worst tasting chewing gum they ever had.)
PROFITS ARE UP & DOWN:
“Amusement Business” magazine says roller coasters are the key to success for amusement parks. Whenever a park unveils a new coaster, it has one of its bigger seasons. (That’s ’cause you can sell the riders lunch … twice.)
ZIT FITS:
Colorado State University researchers report that refined carbohydrates may have more to do with causing acne than chocolate or greasy foods. It seems consumption of processed foods starts a series of reactions that increases the production of bacteria associated with acne. To add weight to their theory, the researchers point to countries where processed foods are virtually nonexistent. Coincidently, so is acne! (Gee, who woulda thought junk food was bad for you?)
DON’T FRY THAT FLY!
A new study warns that using a backyard ‘bug zapper’ may shower the surrounding area with disease-causing microbes. The tiny explosions generate high numbers of airborne insect particles that may aggravate allergy sufferers. And even worse, bug zappers kill the insects but not all the viruses and bacteria living on or in them. Researchers recommend if you’re going to keep your zapper, at least move it away from areas where food is – like your BBQ.
HOLD YOUR BREATH & I’LL TIE YOU UP:
TONIGHT in Los Angeles vintage clothing company reVamp is showing off its wares in an unusual fashion show where the models will strip down to show off their – corsets. Yup, style watchers say the corset is due to make a comeback, in a variety fabrics for everyday wear and in leather for more ‘adventurous’ outings.
SUMMERS ARE SEXY:
A “Self” magazine survey shows that women are more likely to get pregnant while on vacation than at any other time. Part of the reason, of course, is that vacations are for fun. (Problem is, the souvenir you bring home costs you a fortune for 20 years.)
BETWEEN THE COVERS:
TODAY “Living History” hits bookstores, the ‘complete and candid’ memoirs for which Hillary Rodham Clinton was paid a massive $2.85 million advance on an $8 million deal. Publishers Simon & Schuster are anticipating huge demand and ordered 1 MILLION copies for the first printing. Don’t expect to finish it in one sitting – it runs 576 pages. (Yeah, but they already leaked the juicy stuff from the only page anyone cares about.)
SPY KIDS:
A trio of 8th-graders in Maryland has received silver-framed letters of commendation from FBI director Robert Mueller at their graduation ceremony. Why? For the past year, they’ve been serving as the youngest-ever FBI instructors, teaching agents how to act like 14-year-old girls in order to snare pedophiles on the Internet. Their lessons included quizzes on celebrity gossip and clothing trends, and assignments reading “Teen People” and “YM” magazines. The first time the girls gave a test, all the agents failed.
PASS THE PEPO PLEASE:
Israeli scientists have created a new low-fructose fruit called the ‘pepo’ that diabetics can eat without worrying about sugar content. The yellow hybrid fruit has plenty of juice and a mild cantaloupe flavor. Researchers at the Volcani Institute created it by modifying the flavor of the low-sugar but unpleasant tasting pepino dulce, a fruit native to Peru.
BS AMAZING FACTS:
• “Psychology Today” reports that more than 2,000 sex change operations are performed in Denmark each year.
• According to Metropolitan Life, 3rd basemen have the longest lifespan of Major League Baseball players. Ironically, shortstops have the shortest.
THE BULL SHEET 06.09.2K3
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1934 [69] Donald Duck, speech-impaired, web-footed movie star (1st appears in “The Wise Little Hen”, voiced by Clarence Nash)
1961 [42] Michael J Fox, Edmonton AB, ex-TV actor (“Spin City”)/movie actor (“Back to the Future”) who quit his hit sitcom and launched the Michael J Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research (a well-intentioned organization and all, but how come so many people wait until they’re afflicted with something before they consider charity?)
1963 [40] Johnny Depp, Owensboro KY, film actor (“Chocolat”, “Sleepy Hollow”) who regularly cuts his own arms to mark important events in his life UP NEXT: The adventure “Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl”, opening JULY 9.
1965 [38] New Zealand man with world-record 2,310 first names (you oughta see his driver’s license!)
1981 [22] Natalie Portman, Jerusalem ISR, movie actress (“Star Wars: Episode I-III”) UP NEXT: The civil war-era drama “Cold Mountain”, co-starring Jude Law & Nicole Kidman, coming DECEMBER 25.
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
THIS WEEK is “Little League Week”, always the week beginning the 2nd Monday in JUNE. Little League Baseball was founded in 1939 in Williamsport PA with 3 three teams. At the time, a $35 donation would purchase uniforms for all of them.
30 YEARS AGO . . .
1973 Secretariat wins Belmont Stakes to become 1st horse in 25 years to win the Triple Crown of horse racing (3 horses do it in the ‘70s, including Affirmed & Seattle Slew)
10 YEARS AGO . . .
1993 Last Canadian team to win Stanley Cup (Montréal Canadiens beat LA Kings 4 games to 1 for their 24th championship)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1822 [181] 1st patent for ‘false teeth’ (next day, 1st kid is scolded for drinking that glass of water on grandpa’s nightstand)
1923 [80] 1st ‘armored car’ (Brinks)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Yo-Yo Day
[Wed] Hug Holiday
[Thurs] Kitchen Klutzes Day
[Fri] Friday the 13th
[Sat] Family History Day
[Sun] Fathers Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Boating Week
National Flag Week
Meet a Mate Week
E-Mail Week
Men’s Health Week
Hermit Week
Brain Tumor Awareness Week
Graffiti Week
BULL’S BITS . . .
FITTEST CANADIAN CITIES:
1. Victoria BC
2. Trois-Rivieres QC
3. Edmonton AB
4. Charlottetown PEI
5. Windsor ON
Source: StatsCan/CTV
PET HEALTHIEST CITIES:
The best places to raise a cat or dog, based on various health factors such as emergency care, air quality, local animal cruelty laws, and incidence of Lyme disease –
1. Denver CO
2. Oakland CA
3. Portland OR
4. New York NY
5. New Orleans LA
Source: Purina Pet Institute
BS TRIVIA:
Q: Which sport’s Hall Of Fame can be found in Canastota, New York?
A: 13 years ago TODAY (1990), the “International Boxing Hall of Fame” opened there.
BS MONDAY MORNING BRAIN BUSTER:
In the middle of the night a man gets up from his bed and calls someone on the phone. When the other person lifts the receiver, the first man hangs up and goes back to sleep. Why? (They are neighbors with adjoining bedrooms. The other person snores!)
BS PHONE STARTER:
“What have you done in a relationship that you thought would get you dumped but instead you got a second chance?”
BS BLATANT JOKES:
• I been going out with this girl for 2 years and then the nagging starts: “I wanna know your name.”
• There is now a drug on the market for shyness. Do we really need this? Shy people aren’t bothering anyone. How about a drug for obnoxious idiots, now that’s what we need!
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Almost half of all women asked call THIS a great big waste of money.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A fitness club membership.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Visit your money this summer – vacation in Ottawa.
WELCOME ABOARD!
This week’s BS samplers include Valerie Knight @ KHPT Houston TX, Rich Ryder @ WBTN Bennington VT, Michael Ray @ JET 102 Erie PA, Dexter Ericson @ KBVM Portland OR, and Denis Prior @ KMXV Kansas City MO. Remember, we bonus you ONE FREE MONTH for each & every new “BS” subscriber you refer!
