Tuesday, June 20, 2000 Edition: #1833
It’s “Take Your Pet to Work Week” culminating in “Take Your Dog to Work Day” this Friday. But here’s a look at . . .
BS POTENTIAL PROBLEMS WITH TAKING YOUR DOG TO WORK:
• He thinks EVERY day is ‘Hump Day’.
• Just one more obnoxious individual slobbering over the cute receptionist.
• Constant assembly line shutdowns at your job in the hydrant factory.
• Spends all day chasing tail just like the slimy guys in sales.
• Your Doberman’s totally confused when he finds employee washroom has 8 different ‘drinking bowls’.
• The sight of your Chihuahua wearing scrubs in the OR keeps your patient in stitches.
• Adds ANOTHER one to the total of those barking orders at you.
• You’re a hooker and, well . . .
• At the end of the day, your future has a lot in common with the boss’s left leg.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Rapper Eminem will provide all the voices for a new animated weekly cartoon series to be Webcast at http://SlimShadyWorld.com (talk about milking one bit to death) . . . Word is Courtney Love will make a future appearance on “Dawson’s Creek” in which she’ll bump uglies with ‘Dawson Leery’ (unfortunately for James Van Der Beek, she has more of them) . . . There’s buzz floating around that the oh-so-talented Tori Spelling is trying to convince mega-rich producer/daddy Aaron to do a spinoff series about her “Beverly Hills 90210″ character ‘Donna Martin’ (because other opportunities ain’t exactly banging down her door).
TODAY‘S VIDEO RELEASES:
Jodie Foster stars in “Anna & the King”, the story of the romance between the King of Siam and a British schoolteacher in the 1860’s (known on stage as “The King & I”) . . . Woody Allen’s “Sweet & Lowdown”, a comedic bio-pic focused on the life of 1930’s jazz guitarist Emmett Ray, played by Sean Penn.
TOP VIDEO RENTALS:
1. “Next Friday”
2. “Girl, Interrupted”
3. “Sleepy Hollow”
STRIP MINING:
A University of British Columbia professor has received a $34,000 federal government grant to study the history and legacy of exotic dancing in Vancouver. (He’ll do research on his laptop.)
BS FROM AROUND-THE-WORLD:
• For some gawdforsaken reason, a Sydney, Australia couple has named their new daughter ‘Axehandle’. The proud mom admits it’s an unusual name for a girl, but thinks it has a cute ring to it. (Just like the shovel you’ll get over your head when the poor child’s old enough to figure out what you’ve done!)
• Spanish police in Madrid have found 252 stolen cremation urns in the home of one Ana Garcia, each filled with remains of the dearly departed. (In her defence, she says it’s their own fault for making an ash of themselves.)
• Prince Charles is reportedly ‘exploring the possibility’ of marrying long-time lover Camilla Parker-Bowles in the Church of Scotland, which allows divorcees to re-marry. (Only hitch may be an old church law forbidding livestock in the sanctuary.)
THE BULL SHEET 06.20.00
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [60] John Mahoney, Manchester ENG, TV actor (Frasier’s dad, Martin-“Frasier”)
1942 [58] Brian Wilson, Hawthorne CA, Rock & Roll Hall of Fame singer/songwriter (Beach Boys-“Good Vibrations”, “Surfin’ USA”)
1945 [55] Anne Murray, Springhill NS, classic pop singer (“Snowbird”, “You Needed Me”)
1949 [51] Dave Thomas, St Catharines ON, comic actor (Doug MacKenzie-“SCTV”)
1949 [51] Lionel Richie, Tuskegee AL, pop singer (“All Night Long”, Commodores-“Easy”) FACTOID: His upcoming album “Renaissance” features a collaboration with the Backstreet Boys
1952 [48] John Goodman, Afton MO, film actor (“The Borrowers”, “The Flintstones”)/TV actor (“Roseanne”) FACTOID: His new TV sitcom “Don’t Ask”, in which he plays gay dad ‘Rex Gamble’, is currently being re-tooled
1967 [33] Nicole Kidman, Honolulu HI, movie actress (“Eyes Wide Shut”, “The Peacemaker”)/Mrs Tom Cruise since 1990 (at 5′-10″, she’s 3 inches taller)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
Hooray!!! Summer officially begins today at 9:48 pm EDT. It’s the longest day of year in the Northern Hemisphere, while it’s the beginning of Winter in the Southern Hemisphere. (It’s getting chilly in Chile.)
ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1996 [04] Canadian astronaut Bob Thirsk lifts off in Space Shuttle carrying Bobby Orr’s Stanley Cup ring, jersey and 6 hockey pucks
1997 [03] “Batman & Robin” opens in theaters, starring George Clooney & Chris O’Donnell
1997 [03] “I’ll Be Missing You” by Puff Daddy & Faith Evans tops pop, “It’s Your Love” by Tim McGraw & Faith Hill tops country
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1877 [123] 1st commercial telephone service in Canada (Hamilton ON)
1909 [91] 1st ‘hot air balloon honeymoon’, in Cape Cod MA (“If the airship’s rockin’ . . .”)
1987 [13] 1st album by female artist to debut at #1 (Whitney Houston’s “Whitney”)
1997 [03] 1st ‘Contemporary Christian’ album to hit #1 in “Billboard” magazine (Bob Carlisle’s woefully saccharine “Butterfly Kisses” knocks off Spice Girls’ debut album “Spice”
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Baby Boomers Recognition Day
[Fri] National Pink Day
[Fri-Sat] NHL Draft (Calgary)
[Fri-Sat] Canadian Alliance Leadership convention
Amateur Radio Week (we’re proud to announce [your show] is the ‘official show’ for the week)
Iced Tea Month (isn’t he a rapper?)
BULL’S BITS . . .
THE BS ‘BABY GAME’:
Isolate the word ‘baby’ from any song in your format (you’re sure to have hundreds to choose from). Ask listeners to ID the song and artist. Make it difficult by editing several ‘babies’ together.
Q: Baseball umpires did not STAND behind home plate before 1859. Where were they normally positioned?
A: They were SEATED behind home plate in a special padded rocking chair!
THE LAST WORD: Junk is something you throw away 3 weeks before you need it .
