Thursday, May 19, 2005        Edition: #3037
More From the Sheethouse!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT’s “CSI” season finalé was directed by Quentin Tarantino, who also came up with the story idea in which a team member disappears and is in jeopardy (no it’s not called “Kill Gil: Volume 1″) . . . TONIGHT’s hour-long season finalé of “The Apprentice” from NY University will see Kendra Todd as the 1-to-4 favorite to win the $250,000 job with the Trump Organization if online sportsbook PinnacleSports.com is correct (the other survivor in the show’s first all-woman final, Tana Goertz, gets 7-to-2 odds) . . . Legacy Interactive is developing “The Apprentice” as a video game in which players vie for a job with Donald Trump (expected to hit stores in FALL 2006) . . . The owner of 2 Kentucky movie theaters is refusing to screen “Monster-in-Law” because of Jane Fonda’s anti-war stance during the Vietnam era (30 freakin’ years ago!) . . . Openly gay “Amazing Race 7″ competitors Lynn Warren & Alex Ali will wed JUNE 1st in Ottawa, due to the legality of same-sex marriages in Canada (invited guests will include Rob & Amber, whose wedding airs on CBS-TV TUESDAY) . . . Actors Kevin Bacon & Colin Firth, co-stars of Atom Egoyan’s “Where the Truth Lies”, have been  barred from attending a “Cannes Film Festival” party – for having too big an entourage (Firth was heard muttering, “That’s no entourage, that’s my wife!”) . . . 19-year-old Russian tennis babe Maria Sharapova has a new 3-year deal to be the face of Colgate-Palmolive deodorants (shouldn’t that be ‘the pit’ instead of the face?) . . . ABC-TV’s newly-announced fall schedule includes “Commander-in-Chief”, a drama series that stars Geena Davis as the first female US president (what title will her husband have – ‘First Man’?) . . . The day after winning “Survivor: Palau”, Tom Westman did a whopping 34 consecutive interviews (and he already has his own Website: http://www.tom108.com).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Big &  Rich – TONIGHT they’re on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Gwen Stefani – TONIGHT she’s on ABC-TV’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live”. She’ll no doubt be talking about her 2nd solo album, being produced by Pharrell Williams.
• Rolling Stones – Pearl Jam, John Mayer, Black Eyed Peas and Maroon 5 are among the first wave of acts confirmed to open shows on the Stones’ upcoming “On Stage” tour.
• Whitney Houston – She’s completed her 2nd rehab stint and plans to begin work on a new album NEXT WEEK.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith” (PG-13 Sci-Fi Adventure): In many theaters, it opened at 12:01 THIS MORNING! After 28 years the “Star Wars” saga finally comes to a close with this 6th episode in which a maturing ‘Anakin Skywalker’ goes to the dark side of ‘The Force’ and becomes Sith lord ‘Darth Vader’. The story sets up the events of “Episode IV”, the original 1977  movie in which ‘Darth Vader’ goes to war against his own children, ‘Luke’ and ‘Leia’. Hayden Christensen stars alongside Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman & Samuel L Jackson. Producer/director George Lucas does an Alfred Hitchcock-style cameo in a large crowd scene, appearing with his daughters. And it seems he’s not quite finished with “Star Wars” yet – he’s just confirmed all 6 movies will be rereleased in 3-D.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
Director Robert Altman will bring Meryl Streep, Lindsay Lohan, Woody Harrelson & Lily Tomlin to a St Paul MN theater for his bigscreen adaptation of Garrison Keillor’s long-running NPR radio show “A Prairie Home Companion” (Keillor wrote the script and will play, er – ‘Keillor’) . . . 47-year-old Michelle Pfeiffer will next star in the romantic comedy “I Could Never Be Your Woman”, playing a successful professional woman who has troubles in her love life (wow, what a refreshing new premise!) . . . Ashton Kutcher & Kevin Costner will co-star in “The Guardian”, an action-adventure about a young Coast Guard rescuer and his mentor (“Ladder 49″, only with boats) . . . 7-time Oscar nominee Peter O’Toole has signed to appear in a new “Lassie” film which begins shooting in Ireland THIS MONTH (he may finally win an Oscar – if he’s playing the dog) . . . The role of ‘Beast’, an oversized blue-fur creature in “X-Men 3″, will be played by – former “Frasier” star Kelsey Grammar . . . Katie Holmes looks set to replace Jude Law’s actress-girlfriend Sienna Miller in the lead role of Edie Sedgwick in “Factory Girl”, the true story of artist Andy Warhol’s protegé (see what dating Tom gets you!) . . . Steve Martin, Bonnie Hunt & Hilary Duff have all agreed to return in the comedy sequel “Cheaper by the Dozen 2″ (hey, it’s a pay cheque) . . . And along the same vein – Dennis Quaid, Rene Russo & Jerry O’Connell will co-star in “Yours, Mine & Ours”, a remake of the 1968 Henry Fonda-Lucille Ball comedy about a widower with 10 children who weds a widow with 8 of her own (those last 2 films promise to employ at least 30 child actors!).

MOST POPULAR BABY NAMES:
GIRLS:
1. Emily
2. Emma
3. Madison
4. Olivia
5. Hannah
BOYS:
1. Jacob
2. Michael
3. Joshua
4. Matthew
5. Ethan
(Emily has topped the list since 1996, Jacob since 1999.)
– US Social Security Administration.

ENGAGEMENT JUST GOT MORE EXPENSIVE:
Researchers at the Carnegie Institution’s Geophysical Laboratory have developed a new technique for making extremely large diamonds of high quality, meaning the mega-rich may soon be showing off gaudy sparklers up to one-inch-wide! Using a process called ‘chemical vapor deposition’, the lab has already produced a 10-carat, half-inch diamond, about 5 times larger than what commercial diamond manufacturers can now make. Researchers say that, in theory, the technique should eventually be able to make diamonds of 1-inch – roughly 300 carats. (Or in my case … about 1,200 engagements.)
– Yahoo! Live Science

I’M AN ARMED ROBBER, WHAT ARE YOU IN FOR?
Mayor Jesus Ignacio Jimenez of the small town of Icononzo, Colombia has made spreading gossip a crime, punishable by up to 4 years in prison. While some residents denounce the decree as ridiculous, the mayor insists that in a country as violent as Colombia, gossiping can have serious consequences. He says he’s fed up with people targeted by false rumors turning up dead or wrongfully arrested. (No gossip? Page 6 would be empty!)
– Associated Press

MOST LIVABLE CITIES:
The best places to live based on standard of living, job sector, arts & culture, nightlife, weather  and all of the other things that encompass daily life. To be fair, only 1 city was selected from 10 different countries …
10. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
9. Frankfurt, Germany
8. Paris, France
7. London, UK
6. Hong Kong, China
5. Madrid, Spain
4. New York City, USA
3. Rome, Italy
2. Sydney, Australia
1. Montréal, Canada
– AskMen.com

RARER REDS:
According to a prediction by Britain’s Oxford Hair Foundation, by the year 2100 the number of natural redheads in the world will dwindle to – none! The reason, according to scientists at the independent institute, is that just 4% cent of the world’s population carries the red-hair gene and the gene is recessive, so it will continue to dilute out and become rarer. (Oh no! No more Marg Helgenbergers!)
– “Social Studies”

THE BENDER GENDER:
A new brain scan study has found further evidence that women are especially vulnerable to the harmful effects of excessive drinking. Research at Germany’s University of Heidelberg has found that brain damage appears to develop faster in women who regularly drink alcohol as compared to men. (“Thash jist another reshon I can haf one more, honey.”)
– “Herald Sun”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
• 82% of us have run out of fuel while barbecuing.
• 66% of guys say they believe baseball exists in heaven.
• 55% of Americans know that the Sun is a star.
• 45% of us eat french fries at least once a week.
• 40% of Canadian youth pick the word ‘evil’ to describe the USA.
• 33% of guys have been involved in a food fight.
• 25% of us sneeze when exposed to bright light.
• 21% of us have mowed the lawn while wearing open-toed shoes.

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• The golf ball industry is a $1.1-billion business worldwide.
• Wearing headphones for just 1 hour increases the bacteria in your ears by 700 times.

AND WE QUOTE:
“The older you get the stronger the wind gets … and it’s always in your face.”
– 65-year-old golf legend Jack Nicklaus, who’ll wrap up his competitive career at this year’s British Open (JULY 14-17).

THE BULL SHEET 05.19.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1934 [71] Jim Lehrer, Wichita KS, PBS news anchor (“The News Hour with Jim Lehrer”)

1945 [60] Pete Townshend, Chiswick UK, dinosaur rock guitarist/singer (The Who-“Who Are You” [“CSI”], “I Won’t Get Fooled Again” [“CSI: Miami”])/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1990)

1949 [56] Dusty Hill, Dallas TX, classic rock bassist/singer (ZZ Top-“Legs”, “Tush”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TONIGHT the “Lieutenant Governor’s Centennial Gala” in Saskatoon, paying tribute to Saskatchewan’s 100 years as a Canadian province, will be attended by Queen Elizabeth & Prince Philip. The gala features emcee Brent Butt (“Corner Gas”), hometown folk legend Joni Mitchell (who’s compiled the album “Songs of a Prairie Girl” as her contribution to the centennial), movie actor Leslie Nielsen, blues-rocker Colin James and others.
NET: http://www.centennialgala.com

TODAY is “Plant Something Day”, which many people would if they could only be assured the plant would grow. What’s the most foolproof plant you can stick in your garden?

TODAY is “May Ray Day”, an annual celebration of Spring sunshine and people named ‘Ray’. (OK, it’s lame, but hey – any excuse for a party!)

THIS MONTH is “Moving Month”. According to a survey by BoxBundles.com, the average family leaves behind 1,500 lbs of trash when they move – about 25% of their total household belongings. (A quarter of what we live with is garbage?)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1999 [06] “Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace” opens in movie theaters (racks up $200 million in a record 13 days)

2004 [01] “Shrek 2″ opens in movie theaters

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1974 [31] 1st ‘NHL Expansion Team’ to win Stanley Cup (Philadelphia Flyers)

1994 [11] 1st ‘Genetically-Engineered Tomato’ approved for marketing

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1977 [28] Jean & Nicolette Besnard and 3-year-old son leave Montréal on a bicycle-built-for-2 to peddle 2,800 miles to Vancouver (takes 3 months)

1995 [10] Balamurali Ambati graduates from NYC’s Mount Sinai Medical School to become world’s youngest doctor – at age 17

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] 32nd Daytime Emmy Awards
[Fri] 11th Bike to Work Day
[Fri] Senior Citizens Day
[Sat] Wait Staff Day
[Sat] 2005 Preakness Stakes
[Sat] US Armed Forces Day
[Sun] Buy-A-Musical-Instrument Day
[Mon] Victoria Day (no BS service)
[Tues] International Jazz Day
This Week Is . . . Dog Bite Prevention Week
This Month Is . . . Healthy Vision Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
YOU MIGHT BE A REALLY BAD DRIVER IF …
• You swerve to miss a tree … and it’s your air freshener.
• You’ve ever asked a police officer to hold your beer while you get out your license.
• You’ve hit the car in front … while trying to back up.
• You replace your air-bag more often than your oil.
• Cops carry special tickets with your info already filled in.
• Even when you haven’t been drinking, bartenders insist on calling you a cab.

BS BRAIN STRAIN:
Q: You’re suffering from ‘lethologica’. What’s bugging you?
A: That’s the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Is sexual harassment at work a problem for the self-employed?
• Will we ever find a cure for that mysterious illness that turns 3-day weekends into 4-day weekends?
• How come creditors’ memories are better then debtors’?
• Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?
• Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say ‘Do Not Pass’?
• What do people in China call their good plates?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: On average, it takes us 2 minutes and 49 seconds to finish THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Driving through a fast-food restaurant.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Marriage is the triumph of habit over hate.