Tuesday, May 1, 2007 Edition: #3521
May Day May Day!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT on “American Idol”, Jon Bon Jovi serves as the musical mentor (THIS WEEK the show makes up for not sending anyone home during “Idol Gives Back” by booting off 2 contestants) . . . Movie actor Kurt Russell (“Grindhouse”) has confirmed a long-standing industry legend that the last thing Walt Disney did before he died was write the words ‘Kurt Russell’ . . . If you’re going to see “Spider-Man 3“ THIS WEEKEND, you’ll notice something new: After placing Canada on a watch-list of countries responsible for illegal movie copying, the International Intellectual Property Alliance has arranged for security guards in Canadian cinemas to inspect bags, confiscate mobile phones, and scan movie goers with metal detectors (this may become common at ‘blockbuster’ movies) . . . A set of 15 different commemorative stamps from the US Postal Service going on sale MAY 25th will mark 30 years of “Star Wars” movies by featuring various characters, including Ewan McGregor as the young ‘Obi-Wan-Kenobi’ . . . Actress Jennifer Aniston reportedly has a new deal to become the face of SmartWater in its next worldwide ad campaign, which will promote the ‘electrolyte-enhanced’ drink with the slogan: “Water That’s the Envy of All Water” (wha’?) . . . “Da Vinci Code” fans will be interested to know the father-and-son team of Tommy & Stuart Mitchell from Edinburgh believe they’ve found a secret musical code locked in the stones of Scotland’s Rosslyn Chapel for more than 500 years, and they’ll perform the music in a special concert later THIS MONTH in the 15th-Century chapel . . . Anna Nicole Smith’s former manager Joyce Wagner is set to release a series of never-before-heard audio tapes in which the late model speaks for hours about her life (as if there’s any kind of minute detail we haven’t heard – 10 times) . . . And actress Angelina Jolie has reportedly agreed to replace Halle Berry in the upcoming film “Wanted”, but only if some unusual demands are fulfilled while the action movie shoots in the Czech Republic – free helicopter lessons for Brad Pitt, plus a mansion with a helipad (going to prove that these days these 2 can have pretty much whatever they want).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Chris Isaak – TONIGHT he’s a guest on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC).
• The Dears – While partying for keyboardist Valerie Jodoin-Keaton’s birthday, guitarist Patrick Krief was surprised with the gift of a new white Fender Stratocaster identical to the one recently stolen from his rehearsal space in Montréal, along with $18,000-worth of other equipment.
• Diddy – His new men’s fragrance ‘Unforgivable Multi-Platinum’ will only be available for a limited time … at $65 for 2.5 ounces. He also plans to launch ‘Unforgivable Woman’ THIS FALL.
• Kaiser Chiefs – TONIGHT they perform “Everything is Average Nowadays” on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Michael Buble – THIS MORNING he’s on the “Today Show” (NBC).
• Modest Mouse – TONIGHT they perform on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Ne-Yo – THIS MORNING the R&B singer (“Because of You”) is on “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).
• Patti Smith – TONIGHT the legendary punk rocker does the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• White Stripes – Jack White says they’re celebrating the 10th anniversary of the band by playing in all 50 US states (including the 16 they’ve never played before), plus every province & territory in Canada, where the tour kicks off JUNE 24 in Burnaby BC.
• Being released TODAY: “Spider-Man 3 Soundtrack”, including new material by Snow Patrol, Killers, Wolfmother, and Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• Alpha Dog ( Drama ): Writer-director Nick Cassavetes’ gritty drama is based on the life of Jesse James Hollywood, a drug dealer who became one of the youngest ever to be on the FBI’s ‘Most Wanted List’. Stars Bruce Willis, Emile Hirsch, Ben Foster, and Justin Timberlake. Definitely not a family film: The F-bomb and its derivatives appear 310 times.
• “Dreamgirls” ( Musical Drama ): The story of a trio of soul singers who cross over to the pop charts in the early 1960s, loosely based on the career of Motown’s Supremes. The movie adaptation of the hit Broadway musical was supposed to be Beyoncé’s star vehicle, but it was former “American Idol” finalist Jennifer Hudson who won an Oscar for her performance as ‘Effie White’. Also stars Eddie Murphy, Jamie Foxx, and Danny Glover. Also available in a 2-disc ‘Showstopper Edition’.
• “Happily N’Ever After” ( Animated Family Comedy ): An alliance of ne’er-do-wells led by the evil ‘Frieda’ (Sigourney Weaver) is looking to take over ‘Fairy Tale Land’. But when ‘Ella’ (Sarah Michelle Gellar) realizes her stepmother is out to ruin her storybook existence, she becomes the leader of a resistance movement. Other voices include George Carlin, Andy Dick, and Freddie Prinze Jr (aka Mr Gellar).
• “The Hitcher” ( Horror Thriller ): When hitchhiking, it’s in poor taste to maim, torture and kill the good Samaritans who picked you up. But Sean Bean, who plays the psychopath, is just rude that way. A remake of the 1986 cult classic. Co-stars Sophia Bush (“One Tree Hill”).
• Also released TODAY: “Beverly Hills 90210: The 2nd Season”; “Clint Eastwood: Western Icon Collection”; “The King of Queens: The Complete 8th Season”; “Melrose Place: The 2nd Season”; and “Will & Grace: Season 6 “.
SCIENTISTS SAY:
A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … most of us can only distinguish liars from truth-tellers about 54% of the time. And surprisingly, the better we know the person, the worse we do. Even people professionally trained to spot liars, like cops and judges, don’t get it right much more than half the time. (Are these stats for real? You’re not really going to be able to tell, are you?)
• Scientists say … the smell of lavender boosts concentration, especially in the afternoon. That’s the finding of researchers at Japan’s Yamanashi Prefectural University. (Who just happen to have a little aroma-therapy clinic on the side.)
• Scientists say … if you’re not in the habit of re-applying sunscreen every 2 hours, it would be better if you didn’t waste your money buying it in the first place. So says a research team at the University of California at Riverside. (Who apparently have some kind of mad-on for Coppertone.)
• Scientists say … not all ‘moos’ made by cows are the same. A University of Missouri study shows that each is distinctive and tells calves where their mama cow is in the herd. (Uh, how much government money went into this little project?)
FRESHER AIR INDOORS:
A few tips on cleaning up your indoor environment …
• A good rule is to vacuum once a week for each person who lives in your home.
• Buy an English ivy plant to absorb toxic tobacco smoke. A lady palm plant will clear the air of household-cleaner toxins.
• Put out a bowl of vinegar for 24 hours to absorb odors, tobacco smoke, and cooking smells.
– Gannett News
THE SKINNY ON BEAUTY:
The billion-dollar beauty industry shows no signs of slowing down, according to a new survey of 46 countries by research group AC Nielsen. A few highlights …
• 78% of us feel increasing pressure to look good, and the desire to be beautiful is not restricted to women.
• 33% of beauty product buyers spend the most on skincare, with Asian and American consumers leading the trend.
• Skin whitening is the most sought after treatment in Asia, with 10% of consumers buying bleaching products and 50% saying they would lighten their skin if money was no object.
• 79% of us feel positively about so-called ’metrosexuals’, guys who use beauty products to take care of their appearance.
– Reuters
HOT SCHOOL:
New Mexico State University in Las Cruces has been the chile pepper center of the world ever since the founding of its Chile Pepper Institute in 1992. NMSU researchers are credited with creating some 2 dozen new strains of peppers, including one with no heat at all that is used solely to thicken salsa. The university recently scored a coup when its research resulted in a pepper from northeastern India being declared the ‘Hottest Chile in the World’ by the “Guinness Book of World Records”. (You really don’t wanna visit this lab after a day of taste-testing.)
– “Los Angeles Times”
BRAINWAVE TOYS:
Engineers at San Jose CA-based NeuroSky Inc have big plans for brainwave-reading toys and video games. Among the first is a new ‘Darth Vader’ game, a biofeedback device cloaked in the “Star Wars” character’s garb. Behind the mask is a sensor that touches the user’s forehead and reads the brain’s electrical signals, then sends them to a wireless receiver inside the saber, which lights up when the user is concentrating. The player maintains focus by channeling thoughts on any fixed mental image, or thinking specifically about keeping the light saber on. When the mind wanders, the wand goes dark. (Is this where Uri Geller works now?)
– Yahoo! News
BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Children born in the month of MAY are on average 200 grams (about a half-pound) heavier at birth than children born in any other month. (Coincidently, most people nicknamed ‘Tubby’ celebrate their birthdays in May.)
• New York City produces nearly 1% of the USA’s greenhouse gas emissions, an amount that puts it on par with the entire countries of Ireland or Portugal.
• There are now 35 self-declared leaders of ‘micro-nations’ documented in “The Lonely Planet Guide to Home-Made Nations”. These vanity territories range from a bedroom principality in Milwaukee WI to an outback precinct in Australia. (“… and I’m the king of Country 105!”)
AND WE QUOTE:
“A couple of the songs, I was definitely wasted.”
– Pop singer Avril Lavigne, admitting she recorded part of her new album “The Best Damn Thing” while drunk; proving yet again that she should stick to singing and quit speaking to the media.
BS CHRONOMETER 05.01.07
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [57] Dann Florek, Flat Rock MI, TV actor (‘Capt Donnie Cragen’ on “Law & Order Special Victims Unit” since 1999)
1966 [41] Johnny Colt, Cherry Point NC, rock musician (since 2005 Train-“Drops of Jupiter [Tell Me]”, 1989-97 Black Crowes-“Hard to Handle”)
1967 [40] Tim McGraw, Delhi LA, country singer (“Last Dollar [Fly Away]”, “When The Stars Go Blue”)/Mr Faith Hill since 1996
1969 [38] Bryan Marchment, Scarborough ON, NHL defenceman (Calgary Flames)
1979 [28] Jennifer Botterill, Ottawa ON [raised Winnipeg MB], hockey forward (Toronto Aeros-National Women’s Hockey League)/Team Canada (1 Silver & 2 Golds in Olympics 1998-2006, 1 Silver & 4 Golds in Women’s World Championships)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Couple Appreciation Day”, a day to tell a duo how cool you think they are together. Something to do with encouraging a marriage … or maybe a ménage?
• “Law Day” in America, observed since 1958 to promote ‘equality & justice under the law’. A good excuse to review the …
LEAST CREDIBLE BS LAW FIRMS:
– Bumbling Idiots At Law
– Two Fat Guys & A Phony Harvard Law Degree
– Ambulance Chasers Inc
– Money-Grubbing Sleaze Bags
– The Law-Mobile
– Live Nude Lawyers!
• “Lei Day” in Hawaii. Observed since 1928, it’s when people give one another the gift of a kiss and a lei. Hey, you gotta like that!
• “May Day”, officially observed in some 66 countries. An old legend says freckles will disappear if washed with morning dew on this day. Another piece of folklore says that if you look into a well today, an image of your future mate will appear. (That’s right [co-host], you’ll see yourself.)
• “Mother Goose Day”, which actually honors many different writers. The term was first used in the title of the nursery rhyme collection “Mother Goose’s Melody” about 1765. The name caught on, and nursery rhymes have been attributed to ‘Mother Goose’ ever since. What’s the most violent nursery rhyme?
• “New Homeowner’s Day”. Congratulations! Got your repair manual yet?
• “Save the Rhino Day” … and trade ‘em with your friends!
• “School Principals Day”. It’s a dirty job but some militaristic Nazi’s gotta do it!
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1939 [68] “Batman” debuts as a comic strip hero by DC Comics
1941 [66] Orson Welles’ movie classic “Citizen Kane” premieres in NYC
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1967 [40] Elvis Presley marries Priscilla Beaulieu (divorce in 1973)
1998 [09] Celine Dion admitted to prestigious Order of Canada
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1941 [66] ‘Cheerios’ cereal 1st introduced
1997 [10] Labour party leader Tony Blair is 1st elected British Prime Minister
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1978 [29] Steve Weldon slurps 100 yards of spaghetti in record 28.73 secs (Austin TX)
1991 [16] 44-year-old Texas Ranger Nolan Ryan pitches MLB record 7th ‘No-Hitter’ (beats Toronto Blue Jays 3-0)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Sibling Appreciation Day
[Wed] Robert’s Rules Day
[Wed] Full ‘Flower’ Moon
[Thurs] Hug Your Cat Day
[Thurs-May 8] Queen Elizabeth II’s state visit to USA
[Fri] Weather Observer’s Day
[Fri] “Spider-Man 3” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] International Tuba Day
This Week Is … Teacher Appreciation Week
This Month Is … International Business Image Improvement Month
BULL’S BITS
TRUTH OR BS?
Are the following statements true or just a load of hooey?
• Paw-prints are used to identify dogs, just like humans use fingerprints. (BS. Nose-prints.)
• Millions of trees are accidentally planted by squirrels who bury nuts and then forget where they hid them. (True)
• Astronauts are banned by NASA from making love in space. (BS. NASA relies on the ‘professionalism and good judgement of astronauts’. There is no specific rule.)
• 300 years ago in Vienna, coffee was regulated as a drug. (True)
• Men are 6 times more likely to be struck by lighting than women. (True)
• Chess pieces are the objects most often choked on. (BS. Toothpicks.)
• On average, there are slightly less than 20 earthquakes throughout the world every year. (BS. More than 50,000.)
BS PHONE STARTER:
Should teens be taught manners in school? (In a controversial pilot program, a course called ‘Social & Emotional Aspects of Learning’ is being added to the national curriculum in Britain, featuring classes to combat rudeness, violence, and anti-social behavior.)
BS RANDOM JOKES:
• It’s May Day, when tradition has it that kids frolic around the ‘Maypole’. This year’s ‘Maypole’ is Antonina Padrewski. Congratulations!
• An ‘extravagance’ is anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your spouse.
• And here’s today’s reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, some keener in a spinning class pulls a hamstring.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: On average, men do THIS fewer than 10 times a day.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Smile.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
HOW TO CHANGE SETTINGS FOR MORE RELIABLE E-MAIL:
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