May 6 2020

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Wednesday, May 6, 2020    Edition: #6691

Deja Moo!

★ Duane “Dog” Chapman is heading down the aisle again after revealing he popped the question to his girlfriend, Francie Frane, less than one year after losing his wife, Beth. Chapman says he proposed while the two have been socially isolating together at his home in Colorado. He hopes to have a big wedding for his sixth time saying “I do” — when gatherings are permissible again amid the coronavirus pandemic. And he says he’s currently “negotiating” with his soon-to-be wife about inviting his fans, because, as he told Frane, “People, they need a little love after being locked down.”
★ Every now and again, news breaks of a project that seems designed to break the internet. The latest is this: Nicolas Cage will soon make his television debut as “Tiger King” Joe Exotic in an eight-episode scripted series. In addition to playing the self-described “gay, gun-toting cowboy with a mullet,” Cage will also executive produce. And that’s just one of several projects inspired by the wild story of Joe Exotic. Months before the Netflix series premiered, Big Cat Rescue founder Carole Baskin landed a biopic of her own—starring Kate McKinnon. And dream-casting who might play him in a series of his own, Joe Exotic has pitched Brad Pitt and David Spade as top contenders.
★ After 15 years, author Stephenie Meyer is taking “Twilight” fans back to Forks, Washington, in an all-new companion novel to the best-selling series. “Midnight Sun” is a long-awaited addition to the Twilight series. Meyer originally planned on releasing the companion novel in 2008, but put the project on hold when a partial manuscript was leaked online. It’s set for release on August 4th.
★ Dame Judi Dench has made history as the oldest person to appear on the cover of Vogue at the age of 85. Dench appears timeless in the photo for the June cover of the British edition of the publication, modelling a floral Dolce & Gabbana outfit with her famous, piercing blue eyes looking directly at the camera lens. It’s a historic shoot for both Dench and the magazine, marking her very first Vogue cover. Dench’s daughter says: “[The shoot] meant an awful lot to her…this gave her just that little boost of confidence to make her go, ‘Oh, maybe I’m still OK. Then of course after the photoshoot, she came back literally thinking she was Beyoncé.”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Kevin Bacon, Kyra Sedgwick
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Gabrielle Union, Henry Winkler, Brad Paisley
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Ice Cube, Sarah Kendzior
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Beanie Feldstein, Machine Gun Kelly, Travis Barker
• “Conan” (TBS): Kristin Chenoweth
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): “Summer House” Reunion Show
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Michael Tricarico
• “The Talk” (CBS): Dr. Phil McGraw, Jenna Dewan
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Dua Lipa
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Christina Applegate
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): A new Message From Montana, repeat segments with Kristen Bell, Ne-Yo (R)
• “Survivor” (CBS): In a crucial immunity challenge, the remaining seven castaways make their final push toward the $2 million prize.
• “Riverdale” (CW): Season 4 finale
• “Summer House” (BRAVO): Season 4 finale

• Taylor Swift – wrote a heartfelt note to a Utah nurse in honor of all her work on the frontline during the pandemic. She surprised Whitney Hilton with the note and a bundle of merchandise to mark her 30th birthday and as a homecoming gift after she returned to Utah following a stint in New York.
• Drake — Not content with the surprise release of the new mixtape “Dark Lane Demo Tapes” last Friday, he has teased more new music on Instagram, writing “My 6th STUDIO ALBUM DROPPING SUMMER 2020!!!.”
• Justin Bieber – He and Meek Mill, Miguel, Robert DeNiro and Martin Scorsese are among the notables participating in the All In Challenge, donating “once-in-a-lifetime” fan experiences and rare items to raise money to feed those in need amidst the covid-19 crisis. The Biebs has offered to fly out to sing ‘One Less Lonely Girl’ at the house of the person with the winning entry.
• Bon Jovi – will be among the performers at the virtual telethon “Rise Up New York!” on Monday. The benefit for New Yorkers impacted by COVID-19 will be hosted by Tina Fey and will also feature performances by Billy Joel, Mariah Carey and Sting. Many other celebs will also participate.
• The Beatles — An unreleased demo tape of Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr’s only jointly written duet is expected to fetch up to $25,000 at auction. ‘Angel in Disguise’ was recorded for Starr’s 1992 solo album “Time Takes Time” but did not make the cut.
• The Stranglers — keyboardist Dave Greenfield has died aged 71, after testing positive for coronavirus while in hospital for a heart problem. The Stranglers had recently postponed their farewell tour – which was due to take place this summer – due to the Covid-19 pandemic.
• Rolling Stones — Ron Wood has donated his artwork to a London hospital. He created a rainbow in the shape of a heart, with the National Health Service logo at its core. He adorned it with a hand painted thank you message, and sent it to St George’s Hospital in Tooting, south London to praise all NHS workers for their life saving work for the country.
• Kane Brown – He and Chris Young have a new collaboration coming. Brown recently leaked a snippet of the song to his fans via Instagram. He didn’t share the title, but a re-tweet from Young reveals it to be ‘Famous Friends’.
• Reba McEntire and Brooks & Dunn — have postponed more of their Las Vegas residency dates due to the pandemic. A statement posted to social media reads: “The June 10-20 performances of Reba, Brooks & Dunn: Together in Vegas are unfortunately cancelled.” The next scheduled dates are now Oct. 7-17 at the Colosseum at Caesars Palace.
• Dwight Yoakam – He and his longtime fiancée Emily Joyce quietly tied the knot in a private ceremony in March. They announced the news in a statement on Monday. The pair have been dating since 2010.

Yes, our computers keep getting smarter, but people are getting dumber. And nobody knows why. Studies of various tests conducted in countries all over the world have revealed similar findings: people everywhere have lower IQs than they used to. Researchers say that IQ decline does not appear to be an issue of those with lower IQs out-procreating those with higher IQs, because even the children of high-IQ parents are in a downhill race. Some think the rise of lower-skill service jobs has made work less intellectually demanding, leaving people with fewer opportunities to challenge their brains. Another explanation could be less nutrient-dense food because of global warming. Or maybe our information-age devices are sapping our ability to focus.
(If this trend continues, I may someday be average!)
(I blame that show where the guy sings in a banana costume!)
(Well, there’s no denying that [Co-host] is smart. For someone to deny it, someone would first have to say that he’s smart!)

➢ For those of us who are deathly afraid of speaking in front of a crowd, researchers from Penn State have developed a program that turns Amazon’s Alexa into a public speaking coach. The public speaking tutoring program teaches users a technique designed to alleviate anxiety while recognizing and changing negative thought patterns. In a test-run, it successfully alleviated participants’ pre-speech anxiety. Jinping Wang, the study’s lead author, says Alexa and other smart speakers may one day be considered a legitimate alternative to human coaching, without the natural concern of being judged by a human. (What about those of us who are deathly afraid of speaking to a computer?)
➢ We all know that we should be diligently washing our hands, but how often are you washing your phone? Researchers say that if you aren’t washing it daily, you may be unknowingly inviting the coronavirus inside your home and body. A study from Bond University says that our mobile phones act as “Trojan horses” that house a host of harmful germs, disease, and viruses. Although the data from 56 studies was gathered before the current pandemic, researchers are confident that the coronavirus is likely lurking on the screens of millions of phones right now. They recommend phones be decontaminated daily with either 70% isopropyl or by sanitizing with (ultraviolet) devices like PhoneSoap. Golden staph and E. Coli were the most commonly found germs on people’s phones. (And how many of us scan our phones while eating?)
➢ So much for socially-isolating. 42% of Americans in relationships have downloaded a dating app since the start of the pandemic, according to a new study of 1,000 people in relationships not quarantining with their partner. And a shocking 52% of those with a partner have signed up for a dating website. The survey also found that a third of those in a relationship have reached out to an ex. (My ex called me. But only because she heard I have toilet paper!)

You still have a few days to come up with something better than these people did…
☞ A gift card from him, for him:  My husband got me a gift card to his favorite restaurant, which is a steakhouse. I’m a vegetarian! His response: “They have salads.”
☞ A coupon book for free backrubs:  Sounds great, right? My husband gives TERRIBLE backrubs.
☞ Food poisoning:  Hubby and my kids made me breakfast in bed. We think it was the spinach they used. I was in agonizing pain, and stuck in the bathroom for hours at a time, so I just kept cursing them out to myself.
☞ Clay chocolates:  I gave them to my mom. It was my craft teacher’s idea. She provided empty chocolate boxes to put them in. I’ve never seen my mom look more disappointed.
☞ Half-dead houseplant:  My husband and kids got it on clearance at Home Depot. I pretended to love it, planted it with care in a nice ceramic pot, and watched it slowly die despite my efforts to keep it alive.
☞ Paper Mache pencil holder:  It was a useless, blue blob of hardened newspaper. She still has it decades later.
-22Words, Fatherly

Contrary to the advice of many “green thumbs”, you should not spread used coffee grounds in your garden. While it is generally a good thing to add organic material to allow bacteria to break it down into nutrients for your plants, used coffee still contains caffeine, which has been shown to greatly reduce plant growth.  And kill earthworms.


1945 [75] Bob Seger, Rock Singer, Lincoln Park MI, rock singer (frontman for the Silver Bullet Band: ‘Old Time Rock & Roll’, ‘Night Moves’)

1955 [65] Tom Bergeron, Haverhill MA, TV host (“Dancing With the Stars” since 2005, “America’s Funniest Home Videos” 2001-15, “Hollywood Squares” 1998-2004)

1961 [59] George Clooney, Lexington KY, movie actor (Oscar-“Syriana”)/movie director (“Good Night, and Good Luck”)/movie producer (“Michael Clayton”) COMING UP…”Good Morning, Midnight”

1983 [37] Gabourey Sidibe, Brooklyn NY, TV actress (‘Becky Williams’ on “Empire” 2015-20)/movie actress (“Precious”) COMING UP…”Antebellum”

1993 [27] Naomi Scott, London England, movie actress (“Aladdin”, “Power Rangers”)

• “International No Diet Day”, created in 1992 by UK advocacy group Diet Breakers to help people appreciate the body they have.

• “No Homework Day” … not sure why or who started it, but c’mon, teach’, be a sport! (These days, ALL school work is homework…)

• “Tourist Appreciation Day”, a highlight of “Travel & Tourism Week”, when we’re encouraged to consider all the things tourism brings to our communities. (Let’s see … crowds, litter, traffic jams, people wearing sandals with socks …)

• “National Nurses Day”, nurses make up the highest percentage of the US healthcare workforce. Although you might not imagine it, nurses are more likely to sustain a back injury on a shift than construction workers, and they walk an average of 5 kilometers per shift, as caring for others’ health is such an active job!

• “Bike to School Day”, the 8th annual, in coordination with National Bike Month. Don your helmets, everyone!

[Thurs] Cosmopolitan Day
[Thurs] Day of Reason
[Fri] Free Trade Day
[Fri] Coconut Cream Pie Day

2004 [16] The much-hyped series finale of “Friends” airs on NBC (52.5 million viewers)

1965 [55] At a hotel in Clearwater, Florida, Keith Richards of The Rolling Stones can’t sleep because there’s a tune running through his head. He rolls a tape, falls asleep and wakes up the next morning to find he’s recorded the riff to ‘(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.’

1997 [23] For the first time, The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame holds its induction ceremony in Cleveland, where the Hall is located. Inducted are: The Jackson 5, The Bee Gees, The Young Rascals, Joni Mitchell, Buffalo Springfield, Crosby, Stills & Nash and Parliament-Funkadelic.

2015 [05] “The Royal Society Open Science Journal” publishes a study on the evolution of Western pop music that identifies 3 ‘music revolutions’: 1964 (‘British Invasion’), 1983 (synthesizers, samplers, and drum machines), and 1991 (hip hop going mainstream)

2002 [18] Entrepreneur Elon Musk founds aerospace manufacturing and space transportation company “SpaceX”

2010 [10] David Cameron becomes Britain’s Prime Minister (in office until July, 2016)

2013 [07] Walmart revenue exceeds that of Exxon Mobil, making it the largest company by revenue on the “Fortune 500” list


✓ 98% of Britons consider themselves to be among the nicest 50% of the population.
✓ Snakes are immune to their own poison.
✓ Fish can get seasick.
✓ Toads don’t have teeth. Frogs do.
✓ Schoolhouses were traditionally painted red because it was the cheapest available paint.
✓ Singer Wayne Newton is a descendant of Pocahontas.

• The Final Countdown
• Happy
• Somebody That I Used to Know
• Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go
• Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead
• Cold as Ice
• Ghostbusters
• Celebration
• Hot in Herre
• Another One Bites the Dust (of course…)

Best of BS . . .

• The Reopening of MySpace
• Procrastinator’s Anonymous – First Meeting TBD
• Keep Everything To Your Freakin’ Self Day
• Measles Party
• Get Your Personal Information Back From Russian Hackers Night
• Fight Club. Because Rule #5 of Fight Club is “You do not make a Facebook event about Fight Club.”
• Come Find Out More About My Deeply Disturbing Political Leanings.
• Everybody Meet at CVS. We’re Gonna Find That Dude’s Car!
• Farmville Championship
• “Delete Your Facebook Account at Midnight” party
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

➠ Yesterday was Cinco de Mayo. Kid Rock spent the day chugging Coronas, pounding tequila shots, and guzzling margaritas. No word on whether he celebrated Cinco de Mayo.
➠ I just read the average senior citizen in the U.S. spends eight hours a day alone. (And that, dear friend, is why CBS remains #1…)
➠ I just read where experts claim that, the “plank” exercise is a waste of time. (What about eating a full bag of Doritos while folding the clothes hanging on the Peloton before giving up and going back to the couch? Still an effective workout?)
➠ Kim Kardashian said that Kanye West is the love of her life. (So, I guess there IS one one thing she and Kanye have in common??)
➠ Fact of the Day:  If you sneeze while driving at 60 mph, you travel 50 feet with your eyes closed. (I try not to sneeze while driving. It messes up my “Angry Birds” game…)

The green-eyed monster:

What’s the strangest compliment you’ve ever received?

• According to the story, in what city would you find the Wizard of Oz?
a. Bedford Falls
b. The Emerald City [CORRECT]
c. Kansas City
d. Metropolis

• What is the English translation for the name of the German automaker Volkswagen?
a. People’s car [CORRECT]
b. Trunk in front
c. Motorcycle engine
d. Punchbuggy

• A ‘stroopwafel’ is a wafer cookie that originated in which European country?
a. Netherlands [CORRECT]
b. Germany
c. Switzerland
d. Jamaica

In exactly 3030 years, there’s a chance that things could be really good, and there’s a chance things could be really bad. I guess it’ll be 5050.

Question:  52% of mothers admit they have done THIS when their kids weren’t home. What is it?
Answer:  Play video games

It’s better to be criticized by a wise person than to be praised by a fool.


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