Wednesday, November 22, 2023 – Edition: #7602
Can You Believe This Sheet?
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Jennifer Lawrence has no hard feelings about her wild wardrobe malfunction during the Saks Fifth Avenue holiday lighting ceremony. The Oscar winner debuted the Dior “Carousel of Dreams” holiday window displays in New York on Monday — when her belt suddenly dropped to the floor. She burst out laughing and nervously exclaimed: “I’m so sorry, that was so loud, my belt popped off!” Then, she went on with her speech and revealed the festive windows. Lawrence — who has been an ambassador for Dior since 2012 – was decked out in the luxury fashion brand for her appearance. The light extravaganza spans the 10-story Manhattan building and features 300,000 LED lights.
-NYPost
★ NBC is the latest network to unveil its game plan for the strike-delayed TV season. It will premiere its new Jon Cryer comedy “Extended Family” – and air a special holiday episode of “Night Court” on Saturday, Dec. 23, immediately following the NFL matchup between the Cincinnati and Pittsburgh. The 2 shows will then move to their normal Tuesday time slot on Jan. 2. Elsewhere, the third and final season of “La Brea” will debut on Jan 9, leading into the final 2 Season 1 episodes of “Found”. Dick Wolf’s #OneChicago shows will kick off their new seasons on Wednesday, Jan. 17, and his 3 Law & Order shows will return on Jan. 18.
-TVLine
★ Wayne Brady was reportedly involved in a physical altercation with another driver after his car was allegedly hit on Sunday night. Police have confirmed that a traffic accident occurred involving the “Let’s Make a Deal” host and a 51-year-old male — on the Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu. The story is that the drivers got into an intense argument that turned physical after they pulled over to exchange information. Brady called 911, but the other driver allegedly drove away before cops arrived. The comedian did not need to be taken to the hospital. The other driver was later arrested for hit and run, battery and DUI.
-People
★ “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve With Ryan Seacrest” is staying put at ABC for the foreseeable future. ABC and Dick Clark Productions have extended their deal for the annual New Year’s Eve show through 2029. Hosted by Seacrest from New York’s Times Square, the show serves as a celebration of the best music of the year, with performances by some of the biggest stars of the day. Details about co-hosts, performers, and additional locations will be announced at a later date. The show will air live on Dec. 31 beginning at 8pm ET.
-Variety
★ The upcoming 14th season of “Blue Bloods” will be its last. The CBS police procedural, starring Tom Selleck, Donnie Wahlberg, Will Estes, Bridget Moynahan and Vanessa Ray, will get a 2-part final season consisting of 18 episodes. The first 10 will air this midseason, kicking off on Feb 16 on CBS and Paramount+. The second half consisting of 8 episodes, will debut next fall. CBS also recently announced the end of “Young Sheldon”, following a final season of 14 episodes.
-Variety
★ You didn’t think he was serious, did you? Last week, when Snoop Dogg announced to his millions of followers that after “much consideration & conversation” with his family, he had decided to “give up smoke,” he sent fans into a frenzy. It turns out the rapper was just teasing his new role as “smokesman” for Solo Stove, a company that makes smokeless firepits. In a statement announcing the partnership, he posted: “I love a good fire outside, but the smoke was too much. Solo Stove fixed fire and took out the smoke.” The new Snoop Stove collection includes a bonfire, bucket hat, firepit stand, and sticker pack for $350. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/35xjshzf
-TheCut
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” (ABC/Global): Kurt Russell and Wyatt Russell, Juno Temple, d4vd
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kenan Thompson & Kel Mitchell, Joel Kinnaman, Mario Carbone
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Peter Dinklage, Tig Notaro
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Paul Giamatti, Andrew Moskos & Pep Rosenfeld
• “The Daily Show (COM): News Team Takeover
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Carla Hall, JoJo Siwa, Tika the Iggy
• “The Talk” (CBS): Teri Hatcher, Byron Allen
• “Live With Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Chris Pine
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Taika Waititi, John O’Hurley, Jason Reynolds
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Lisa Ling, Eric André, Dan Curry
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Carrie Ann Inaba
• “Survivor” (CBS): In order to win immunity, castaways must compete in a 3-part challenge; some take a journey and face another difficult decision.
• “Countdown to Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade” (NBC): A live behind-the-scenes peek sharing the incredible stories of the parade’s floats, balloons and bands.
• “A Saturday Night Live Thanksgiving” (NBC): A collection of the best Thanksgiving-themed sketches, including Debbie Downer: Thanksgiving Dinner, Thanksgiving Parade, Friends-giving, Apple Picking Ad, and the Loud Family. (R)
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Harry Styles – His mom jumped to his defence after he revealed that he has buzzed off his iconic curls, and received a mixed reception from fans. On Instagram, Anne Twist wrote: “[Harry] has a legacy of kindness and inclusion, [and] has always made every effort to make everyone feel seen and appreciated for exactly who they are… there’s an irony in the negativity he’s been shown for having a haircut.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/befwjwpv
• Adele — announced during an Alan Carr comedy show that she is married to Rich Paul. Fans posted that Carr asked the crowd if anyone got married recently — and Adele shouted “I did”. She has recently referred to the sports agent as her “husband”, leading to speculation that the pair had tied the knot.
• Neil Young – has announced he’s leaving social media site X, citing statements from owner Elon Musk that have been widely described as antisemitic. Young wrote on his site: “For reasons that should be obvious to the richest man on Earth, we are taking this action against his company.” He joins a growing list of boycotters, including Apple, Disney and Kiss’ Gene Simmons.
• Rolling Stones — have announced a North American tour for 2024, their first stateside dates in over 2 years. Opening night is April 28 in Houston, and the band has scheduled 15 US shows, plus one in Vancouver (July 5), ending July 17 in Santa Clara CA. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3nzb4azk
• Doobie Brothers – teamed up with some fellow legends on the new song ‘Lahaina’, to raise aid for Maui in the wake of the devastating wildfires earlier this year. It also features Mick Fleetwood, Jake Shimabukuro and Henry Kapono (each of whom have close ties to Maui). The Doobies’ Pat Simmons has lived on Maui for 28 years. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/285nk4mr
• Jason Aldean – prefers a “traditional” Thanksgiving. Years ago, he told The Boot: “We usually go out and fry a couple of turkeys at my house. Then we watch some football games.” He said he even has a dedicated “sports room” to watch the games: “I have a bunch of sports stuff in [there]. It’s got the whole vibe going …”
• Miranda Lambert – Her Muttnation Foundation has just announced sizeable grants to two newly-launched animal shelter projects. Her new initiative, called the Miranda Lambert New Shelter Grant, aims to support organizations for shelter pets that are just getting off the ground. The grant was awarded to Crossroads Campus and Wags & Walks, both in Tennessee.
• Garth Brooks – Has added 18 “final” dates to his Vegas residency, carrying the “Garth Brooks/Plus One Las Vegas Residency” through December 2024. When he first announced that he was headed to Vegas, he joked to “Good Morning America” that he’d be there “’til they throw me out.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/y3p9nwyn
SHOOTING THE BULL
YOU CAN COUNT ON MIKE:
Did you ever stop to wonder how many people you know? Now, you don’t need to. The answer is 611, according to Tyler McCormick, a professor in the statistics and sociology departments at the University of Washington. That’s his best estimate, at least, for the average number of acquaintances that Americans have. If that sounds like way too many – or not nearly enough, here is a rule of thumb to go by: According to McCormick, to estimate the number of people you know, simply count the Michaels. He says there are more than 3million Americans named Michael, about 1% of the population. So, if you know 8 Michaels, you probably know about 800 people.
(Micheals? Thank God. For a minute there, I thought we were going to be counting Duggars!)
(Well, I DID know a lot of people — until I started to REALLY get to know them on Facebook!)
-WSJ
SCENT BY ANGELS:
I’m not sure whose baby needs this, but fashion house Dior has created a “scented water” for babies. Yeah. Kinda like a cologne or perfume to dab on their chubby little wrists. The petite perfume is part of Baby Dior’s skin care line, and is selling for (a-hem!) US$230. The Baby Dior ‘Bonne Étoile Scented Water’ comes with “soft notes of pear, wild rose, and white musks,” according to Dior. It is classified as an “eau de senteur” — an alcohol-free scented water that is particularly suitable for babies and children. But Dior’s website describes it as “more than a scented water”, but “an object imbued with reverie that can be personalized with the colored ribbon of your choice to accompany your child like their lucky star.” By the way, the company’s best-selling adult fragrance sells for just $145. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/bdha5tr9
(But I LIKE how babies smell!)
(Be honest with me. Is this a real thing, or an “SNL” sketch?)
-Insider
HOLIDAYS VS. VACATION:
So…given the choice, which would you prefer: A traditional holiday season celebration – or a solo vacation? Be honest, now! According to a new survey, almost half of us (45%) would take the suntan lotion and dash! The survey asked 2,000 Americans about their travel plans, and found that 63% will be traveling this year (up from 41% last year). But that doesn’t mean they will be travelling to their idea of a perfect getaway. Many will be taking a trip to be with extended family over the holidays. Among those planning a possible vacation, though tropical getaways and small towns tied for the top destination people would be interested in visiting this holiday season (both 51%). They were followed, in order, by all-inclusive resorts (50%), family-friendly destinations (43%) and snowy mountains (43%). Would-be vacationers said they’d be willing to spend just over $1,500 for a getaway.
(Considering how many relatives I have to buy for, I’d probably SAVE cash by taking a vacation!)
(Perfect! On Black Friday, I’m shopping for a plane ticket!)
-NYPost
MOST COMMON PASSWORDS:
Password management service NordPass has released its annual list of the most-commonly used website passwords, and is shining a light on some disturbing trends among those of us who just can’t seem to get very creative in our password choices. Here are the top-10… (look familiar?)
1. 123456 (up from #2 last year. What is wrong with us?)
2. admin
3. 12345678
4. 123456789
5. 1234
6. 12345
7. password (down from #1 last year. Congrats, people?)
8. 123
9. Aa123456
10. UNKNOWN (Although most of these passwords can be cracked in a second, cybercriminals may take up to 17 minutes to crack this one)
Nordpass also determined that internet users in North America are likely to use more generic passwords. Internet users in the UK, on the other hand, opt for common phrases like ‘chelsea’, ‘arsenal’, ‘liverpool’, and even ‘football’. The company advises us to use longer passwords, and to use mixed-case characters, symbols, and numerical values. It also says using password generators can produce random and complex strings of passwords that cannot be cracked easily. (But good luck duplicating it on another device!)
-NordPass, TechReport
BEST “SNL” SKITS OF ALL-TIME:
According to “multiple expert sources”…
1. “More Cowbell” (Will Ferrell, Christopher Walken — 2000)
2. “Wayne’s World (Mike Myers, Dana Carvey – 1989-94)
3. “Chippendales Audition” (Patrick Swayze, Chris Farley – 1990)
4. “Matt Foley: Motivational Speaker” (Chris Farley – 1993-97)
5. “Celebrity Jeopardy!” (Will Ferrell, Darrell Hammond – 1996-2002)
[FYI, “A Saturday Night Live Thanksgiving” airs tonight on NBC.]
-StudyFinds
DID YOU KNOW?
Heinz has dropped a new ad, claiming that many people these days are using the company’s ketchup packets as their workout supplement of choice. Traditionally, athletes have relied on specialized energy gels for a quick and easily digestible source of carbs during extended workouts. We don’t know how practical it is for a jogger…or a swimmer…or a cyclist…to try to rip the tiny, tearable corner of a ketchup packet mid-competition, but experts agree that the science is sound: Having a readily available option like ketchup packets could offer a crucial energy boost during training or competition. (I always said that I love ketchup so much that I’d put it on my ketchup!) LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4za6yce8
-StudyFinds
BS CHRONOMETER 11.22.23
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Go For a Ride on Something Day”, a day to take a breather and go for a relaxing ride on a bus, horse, motorcycle, boat . . . whatever! (Or go to a used car dealer and get TAKEN for a ride…)
• “Start Your Own Country Day”, What 3 things would be different if you ran your own nation? (How about no taxes, no taxes, and no taxes?)
• “Stop the Violence Day”, observed annually on the anniversary of the 1963 assassination of US President John F Kennedy.
• “Blackout Wednesday”, sometimes referred to as “Drinksgiving”, takes place the night before Thanksgiving Day. In some parts of the US, it’s one of the biggest drinking and party nights of the year. (Enjoy your Thanksgiving meal with a side of Aspirin tomorrow!)
• “Jukebox Day”. The name jukebox is thought to originate from places called ‘juke houses’ or ‘juke joints.’ In the early 1900s, people congregated in these establishments to drink and listen to music.
• “Humane Society Anniversary Day”, celebrating its mandate of protecting animals of all shapes and sizes from abuse. The Humane Society is dedicated to preventing cruelty to animals, as well as upholding existing laws for their protection, and educating the public on the issue.
• “National Housing Day” (in Canada), also known as “National Housing Strategy Day”, to help ensure that everyone has access to housing that is both affordable and meets their needs. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/39mj5499
• “Cranberry Relish Day”, celebrated as the perfect precursor for American Thanksgiving. Cranberry relish is prepared with some surprise ingredients — horseradish and onion — nothing cuts through the tart of these red rubies like the zing of an onion. (Fine, but I’m still not putting it on my hot dog!)
• “National Family Caregivers Day”, if you know someone who is caring for an ill family member, maybe offer to help – even if just for an hour, every now and then.
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Thanksgiving Day (US)
[Thurs] Cashew Day
[Fri] Buy Nothing Day
[Sat] Small Business Saturday
This Week Is…Deal Week
This Month Is…Peanut Butter Lovers Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [80] Billie Jean King, Long Beach CA, former tennis pro (winner of 39 Grand Slam titles [12 singles])/winner of the infamous 1973 “Battle of the Sexes” vs. former men’s champ Bobby Riggs)
1950 [73] (“Little”) Steven Van Zandt, Winthrop MA, rock guitarist (Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band-‘Born to Run’)/TV actor (“Lilyhammer” 2012-15, “The Sopranos” 1999-2007)
1956 [67] Lawrence Gowan, Glasgow Scotland (raised Scarborough ON), rock singer-keyboardist (‘A Criminal Mind’)/Styx singer since 1999
1958 [65] Jamie Lee Curtis, LA CA, movie actress (“Halloween” movies, “True Lies”, “Freaky Friday”)/daughter of Janet Leigh & Tony Curtis/married to Christopher Guest since 1984. COMING UP… “Borderlands”)
1961 [62] Mariel Hemingway, Ketchum ID, movie actress (“Personal Best”, “Lipstick”)/TV actress (“Civil Wars” 1991-93)/granddaughter of Ernest Hemingway
1965 [58] Mads Mikkelson, Copenhagen Denmark, TV actor (“Hannibal” 2013-15)/movie actor (“Casino Royale”, “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny”) COMING UP… “Dust Bunny”
1967 [56] Mark Ruffalo, Kenosha WI, movie actor (“Zodiac”, ‘Hulk’ in “Avengers” films, “Thor: Ragnarok”, “Iron-Man III”) COMING UP…“Mickey 17”, 2024
1984 [39] Scarlett Johannson, NYC, movie actress (“Avengers” films, “Black Widow”)/married to Colin Jost since 2020. COMING UP… “Project Artemis”
1986 [37] Oscar Pistorius (“Blade Runner”), Sandton South Africa, former pro sprinter (double amputee who competed in the Olympics using ‘racing blade’ prostheses)/convicted in the 2014 killing of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, denied parole in 2023
1996 [27] Hailey Bieber, Tucson AZ, model (Ralph Lauren, UGG)/TV Host (“Drop the Mic” 2017-19)/ married to Justin Bieber since 2018/daughter of Stephen Baldwin
THIS DAY IN HISTORY . . .
1963 [60] US President John F. Kennedy is assassinated at age 46 by Lee Harvey Oswald in Dallas, Texas, and Lyndon B. Johnson is sworn in as 36th President
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1995 [28] Disney’s “Toy Story” opens in theaters, the first computer-animated movie
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1997 [26] INXS singer Michael Hutchence dies by suicide at 37
2020 [03] For the 3rd consecutive year, Taylor Swift wins Artist of the Year at the American Music Awards. She accepts from a Nashville studio, where she’s re-recording her first 6 albums
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2005 [18] The XBox 360 videogame platform is released by Microsoft
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1986 [37] At age 20, Mike Tyson becomes ‘Youngest World Heavyweight Boxing Champion’, after a 2nd-round knockout of Trevor Berbick in Las Vegas
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The oldest word in the English language is ‘town’.
✓ All humans are 99.9% genetically identical.
✓ Your fingernails are made from the same substance as a bird’s beak.
✓ Michael Jackson tried to buy Marvel so he could star in ‘Spider-Man’ movies.
✓ The communicator (walkie-talkie) used in “Star Wars: The Phantom Menace” is actually a Gillette women’s razor.
✓ Your big toes have only 2 bones each. The rest of your toes have 3.
-BathroomReadersInstitute, ReadersDigest
BS WHACK TURKEY FACTS:
✓ Male turkeys gobble. Hens do not. They make a clicking noise.
✓ That flesh-like appendage that hangs over a turkey’s beak is called the ‘snood’. The ‘wattle’ is the bright red appendage on the neck.
✓ A 15 lb turkey usually has about 70% white meat and 30% dark meat.
✓ Commercially raised turkeys are too heavy to fly. In fact, breeding has caused turkey breasts to grow so large that turkeys sometimes fall over.
✓ Nutritionists believe that the amount of tryptophan in turkey is insufficient to induce sleepiness. Rather, it’s the traditional bun-potato-stuffing-pie Thanksgiving meal as a whole that triggers after-dinner lethargy (plus all that wine…).
✓ Despite the myth, there has never been a documented case of a turkey drowning after looking up when it’s raining.
-University of Illinois, Smithsonian
Best of BS . . .
BS SIGNS YOU NEED ANGER-MANAGEMENT COUNSELING:
• You’ve broken 7 nails trying to get the lid off the stupid Valium bottle.
• The vein in your forehead throbs so violently, it knocks out the lady ahead of you in the supermarket line-up.
• Every time a waiter puts your glass down from the wrong side, you fire a warning shot … into his groin.
• You’ve been kicked off the debating team after one too many rebuttals containing the ‘F’ word.
• You were shocked to learn that the folks on DIY shows use ‘tools’ to make holes in walls.
• You once cold-cocked Grandma when she burned your French toast.
• I’ll TELL you who needs anger management counseling!!!!!!!!!
-First published in BS in 2013
BS SIGNS YOUR RELATIVE IS WACKY:
• After Thanksgiving dinner, sharpens knife and says, “Okay, now it’s time to carve Uncle Leo!”
• Loudly gives thanks for the ‘wonderful music of Justin Bieber’.
• Wears a homemade ‘Turkey Giblet Facial Mask’ to reduce unsightly wrinkles.
• Insists on leaving an extra glass of wine on the Thanksgiving table for Trader Joe.
• Eats. Flosses. Eats food off the floss.
• Can tolerate large family gatherings without complaint.
• Considers gravy a beverage.
-First published in BS in 2002
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ Tomorrow is the busiest travel day of the year. (So, to those traveling by plane, I hope you arrive on time. By car, I hope you drive safely. And by bus, sucks to be you!)
➠ Tomorrow is Thanksgiving! (I always unbutton my pants after a good Thanksgiving meal. And also, after a bad one. Also, when it’s not Thanksgiving. I have issues.)
➠ Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Friday is Black Friday. And Monday is Cyber Monday. (That’s when we traditionally blow the whole day shopping online. Or as my wife calls it: Monday.)
➠ According to a report, on the list of things that make you sleep, tryptophan is #2, just ahead of soft music. (…but way, way behind documentaries by Ken Burns.)
➠ In a poll, 70% of people said they’d rather stay at a hotel for the holidays, than with their family. (The other 30%? They’re liars!)
BS WEB GOODIE:
True (sound up): https://tinyurl.com/333sjyz4
BS WHICH CAME FIRST?
• Amazon Kindle or Apple iPod? [The first Kindle was released in 2007. The iPod debuted in 2001.]
• Dracula or Frankenstein? [Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein was published in 1818. Bram Stoker’s Dracula was published in 1897.]
• Calvin and Hobbes or Garfield? [Garfield was first published in 1976. Calvin and Hobbes showed up in 1985.]
• DVD or TiVo? [DVDs were released in 1996. TiVo was founded in 1997.]
• The Rolling Stones or The Beatles? [The Beatles were formed in 1960. The Rolling Stones were formed in 1962.]
• The NFL or the NBA? [The NFL was founded in 1920. The NBA was founded in 1949.]
• The shows “Family Guy” or “South Park”? [South Park first aired in 1997. Family Guy debuted in 1999.]
• Jiffy Pop or Jiffy Lube? [Jiffy Pop was first marketed in 1959. Jiffy Lube started in 1971.]
-QuizBash
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Dance like no one is watching — but text and email like it’ll be read in court someday.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is one place you’ve been to — that you’ll never visit again?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTIONS:
• Question: Stats show that about 5% of divorced people will do THIS at some point. What is it?
Answer: Remarry their ex
• Question: 14% of people say they refuse to eat THIS side-dish at their Thanksgiving feast. What is it?
Answer: Mac and cheese
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Even though you’re fed up, you gotta keep your head up.
