Friday, November 5, 2004        Edition: #2903
Never Accept a Generic – Ask For Pure “BS”!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
THIS WEEKEND Brit actress Elizabeth Hurley & her gazillionaire boyfriend Arun Nayar are rumored to be getting hitched (if anyone still cares) . . . SUNDAY is the premiere of FOX-TV’s new series “My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss”, a spinoff of last season’s “My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé” that takes its cues from “The Apprentice” (except the Donald Trump-type figure is a fake) . . . J-Lo was a no show – Jennifer Lopez backed out of a commitment to attend the opening bash for upscale fashion store Maxmara on London’s trendy Bond Street even though she was sent 10 full-length gowns (seems shooting a Pepsi ad had her simply pooped) . . . Superstar golfer Tiger Woods is suing Vancouver WA’s Christensen Shipyards for allegedly breaching a confidentiality agreement and distributing photos of his recently-purchased yacht “Privacy”, made famous during his honeymoon . . . Actress Alicia Silverstone is taking another stab at series TV, agreeing to star in a new FOX-TV pilot entitled “Queen B”, playing a self-absorbed woman who uses her charm to get what she wants (sorta like a movie star?) . . . David Boreanaz, who last starred in the “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” spin-off series “Angel”, is coming back to TV in an ABC drama based on the life of real-life undercover hit-man Jack Ballantine . . . The competition to replace Craig Kilborn as host of CBS-TV’s “Late Late Show” is being narrowed down, with Damien Fahey, DL Hughley, Michael Ian Black and Craig Ferguson invited to return for another round of guest-hosting.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Shania Twain – THIS MORNING she kicks off the ‘Women Rule Concert Series’ on ABC-TV’s “Good Morning America” with a performance from Nashville. The month-long series will also feature Avril Lavigne, Destiny’s Child, and Gwen Stefani.
• Gretchen Wilson/Big & Rich – TONIGHT they kick off their 12-city “American Revolution” co-headlining tour in DeKalb IL.
• Chingy – TONIGHT he does NBC-TV’s “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Diana Ross – TONIGHT the aging diva begins the 11-date “Forever” concert tour with the first of 2 nights in Atlantic City NJ. (A word to the wise – don’t let her drive the bus!)
• LL Cool J – He’s canceled the remaining 12 dates on his tour due to an ‘abdominal ailment’.
•  Jay-Z – TONIGHT he WILL play Miami FL, performing with guests. The date had been part of the canceled “Best of Both Worlds” tour with R Kelly.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Alfie” (R-rated Romantic Comedy): Jude Law stars in this remake of the 1966 Michael Caine film about a cockney womanizer who learns the hard way about the dangers of his actions.. Mick Jagger co-produced the soundtrack and performs on several tracks with Dave Stewart (ex-Eurythmics) and Joss Stone.
• “The Incredibles” (PG Animated Adventure): The mad geniuses at Pixar are back with another computer-animated family flick, this time about a family of superheros who try to live a normal suburban life. At 115 minutes, this is the longest CGI-animated film to date. Voices by Craig T Nelson, Holly Hunter, and Samuel L Jackson.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASE:
• “Shrek 2″ (Animated Family — DVD/VHS): After battling a fire-breathing dragon and the evil ‘Lord Farquaad’ to win the hand of ‘Princess Fiona’ in the original film, ‘Shrek’ now faces his greatest challenge – the in-laws — who just happen to be the king and queen of the ‘Kingdom of Far Far Away’. Voices of Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Julie Andrews, Antonio Banderas, and John Cleese. Did a record $882 million at the box office worldwide – most ever for an animated film.

CLOSING THE DEAL:
At a recent ‘Get Motivated’ seminar in Los Angeles, sales expert Tom Hopkins gave lessons on coaxing reluctant customers to part with their cash. Apparently you should avoid the scary term ‘down payment’ and use ‘initial investment’ instead. And don’t ask customers to ‘sign a contract’ – just get them to ‘okay some paperwork’. (You know … lie.)
– “LA Times”

I ROBOT, YOU MASTER:
At Britain’s University of Hertfordshire, robots are learning lessons in ‘robotiquette’ – how to behave socially so they can better mix with humans. The idea is to develop a code of social behavior for robot-human interaction. Among issues being addressed, it’s hoped that robots can learn to respect humans’ personal space and to treat people as human beings, not other robots. However, according to researchers, building a robot which will make full use of ‘robotiquette’ for human interaction will take at least another 20 years. (Naw … he’s already in the White House.)
– BBC News Online

DEGREES OF SEX:
After surveying 10,000 adults, Penn State University researchers have found that college grads only make love an average of 52 times a year, compared to 61 bedroom romps a year for non-college grads. (And 52 times a WEEK for college students.)
– “Forum”

THE WINTER BLUES:
It’s estimated that 6% of us suffer from winter depression, and as many as 20% might have a milder form. Seasonal Affective Disorder or ‘SAD’ is more common in young adults and women.
People with SAD have trouble finishing tasks and remembering where they put things. Researchers have found that the most common SAD cure – light therapy – does NOT work when it comes to improving cognitive processes like memory. (If you ask us, SAD is the reason the hot toddy was invented.)
– “Rocky Mountain News”

WEIRD WORLD OF BS:
• A 15-year-old girl in India is awaiting medical treatment for a bizarre condition in which small stones are coming out of – the corner of her eyes. So far, the medical staff at Rajendra Institute of Medical Science is stumped. It seems small calcium-based stones coming out of the mouth, nose and ears are not that uncommon, but coming out of the eyes is unheard of – a strange phenomenon not found anywhere in medical literature.
• 23-year-old Stuart Donald put his friendship up for auction on eBay, promising to be ‘best friend’ to the winning bidder for 1 month. The deal was to include 2 e-mails a week, 2 handwritten messages, and an unspecified number of text messages. The winning bid was just over $1,200 but since the auction ended Donald has not been able to contact the bidder or receive his cash.
• A 63-year-old woman in Port Angeles WA has been arrested and charged with arson after setting fire to her apartment complex. She tells police she did it because – her kitty litter box was full and stank.

BS AMAZING FACT:
Worldwide each person now eats, on average, 25% more food than their grandparents did.
– “New Scientist”

AND WE QUOTE:
“We haven’t set a date and it surely won’t be a big public ceremony but I would like to place my life in his hands with a wedding vow.”
– Elton John telling German magazine “Gala” he wants to wed longtime companion David Furnish.

THE BULL SHEET 11.05.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [63] Art Garfunkel, Forest Hills NY, oldies singer (Simon & Garfunkel-“Bridge Over Troubled Water”, “I Am a Rock”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1990)

1959 [45] Bryan Adams, Kingston ON, pop singer (Grammy Award-“[Everything I Do] I Do It For You”, “Cuts Like a Knife”)

1961 [43] David Bryson, San Francisco CA, rock guitarist (Counting Crows-“Big Yellow Taxi”, “Mr Jones”)

1971 [33] Jonny Greenwood, Oxford UK, rock musician (Radiohead-“Knives Out”, “Creep”)

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
Actress Sally Field (“Legally Blonde”) is 58; Classic rocker Glen Frey (Eagles) is 56; Mrs Arnold Schwarzenegger/journalist Maria Shriver is 49; Actor Ethan Hawke (“Training Day”) is 34; Actress/model Rebecca Romijn (“X-Men”) is 32.

SUNDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
Evangelist Billy Graham is 86; Folk singer Joni Mitchell is 61; Advertising huckster ‘Pillsbury Doughboy’ (aka ‘Poppin’ Fresh’) is 39.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY-November 14th is the 82nd annual “Royal Winter Fair” at Toronto’s Exhibition Place, the ‘largest combined indoor agricultural, horticultural, canine & equestrian exhibition in the world’ (uh, is there another one?).
PHONER: 416.263.3400 (Fair Office)/416.217.0700 x302 (Emily McInerney-PR)
NET: http://www.royalfair.org

TODAY the annual “Governor-General’s Performing Arts Awards” are presented by Adrienne Clarkson at Rideau Hall in Ottawa. This year’s winners: ballerina Veronica Tennant, actor Gordon Pinsent, singer/songwriters Kate & Anna McGarrigle, opera singer Joseph Rouleau, actor/director/writer Jean-Louis Roux and director Eric Till. Each winner receives $15,000 and a commemorative medallion. Comedian/actor Rick Mercer receives the National Arts Centre Award for achievement in the past year. A gala follows TOMORROW evening.
NET: http://www.bell.ca/en/about/gga/home_en.html?ADV=ggawards

TODAY is “Guy Fawkes Day” in England, a traditional celebration since 1752. It commemorates the 1605 ‘Gunpowder Plot’ when Fawkes-led Catholics attempted to blow up the Parliament Buildings. One of the day’s traditions gives it its nickname – ‘Bonfire Night’.

SATURDAY through November 9th, stylists from at least 30 countries compete in the “World Championships of Hairdressing” in Milan, Italy. World-class coiffeurs have been practising their blow-dry and combing techniques on mannequins and models to contend in various hair Olympics categories such as ‘Hair By Night’ and ‘Fashion Short Cut’.

SATURDAY is the “Halfway Point of Autumn”, marking the point when the [local losers] are officially out of the playoffs.

SATURDAY is “National Men Make Dinner Day”, a day designated for the man of the house to make all dinner preparations from food shopping to the post-meal cleanup. Pizza deliveries, leftovers from the prior night, and barbecued entrees are not allowed! Things to argue …
• Is this not gender stereotyping?
• Aren’t there lots of households where the male handles the cooking every day?
• What else would you like your man to do that he never does?

SUNDAY is “PMS Stress Day”, founded in 1995. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. If not, get the hell out of the way!

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1988 [16] Beach Boys hit #1 with the single “Kokomo”, the longest gap between #1 hits by a recording artist (21 years, 10 months since “Good Vibrations”)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1923 [81] 1st ‘Electric Shaver’ patented (and 1st guy suffers severe pain when nose hair gets caught)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1994 [10] 45-year-old George Foreman becomes ‘Oldest Heavyweight Boxing Champion’ by KO-ing Michael Moorer (who will never live it down)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sat] Saxophone Day
[Sun] World Community Day
[Sun] NYC Marathon
[Mon] Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day
[Tues] 38th CMA Awards
This Week Is . . . World Communication Week
This Month Is . . . National Impotency Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BREAKFAST BY THE NUMBERS:
• Over 25% of adults now skip breakfast.
• People with more education and higher incomes are more likely to eat breakfast.
• About 67% of breakfasters eat cereal, 36% toast, and 9% scarf down pancakes, sausages, or waffles.
• Kellogg’s now sells more Pop-Tarts than Frosted Flakes, its top-selling cereal.
• 59% of kids surveyed would prefer eggs to be blue.
– The NPD Group, “Are You Normal?”, Egg Marketing Board

TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files online …
1. Eminem – “Just Lose It”
2. Usher w/Alicia Keyes – “My Boo”
3. Nelly – “Over And Over”
4. Trick Daddy – “Let’s Go”
5. Ciara – “Goodies”
– Big Champagne online music measurement.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: On average, 1 person will take 10 minutes to do THIS. 2 people will take 20 minutes. And 3 people will take a half-hour.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Pick out a video rental.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.