Tuesday, November 2, 2004
Thanks to You, This is “BS” Edition #2900!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
The Bravo-TV spinoff “Queer Eye for the Straight Girl” is set to premiere in 2005 with a cast of 3 guys and 1 woman, former model Honey Labrador (coming soon, the optometry show ‘Straight Eye for the Strabismus’) . . .  A feud over possible changes to the 4th season of “American Idol” has reportedly led 4 producers to walk off the show, although an “Idol” spokesperson claims everything is normal (in other words — it must be true) . . . Meantime, “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell is developing an American version of his Brit series “The X Factor”, a talent competition in which each judge also serves as a mentor to contestant . . . It’s been revealed there were 3 alternative endings shot for “Sex & The City” beside the one that aired in which ‘Carrie’ ends up with ‘Mr Big’ – one in which he dumps her, another in which she ends up engaged to her Russian boyfriend, and one in which ‘Mr Big’ decides to move back to NYC to pursue her (all of them will appear on the DVD when it comes out) . . . Based on the breakout success of TV’s “Desperate Housewives”, “Playboy” has launched a search for the ‘Hottest Housewives’ willing to peel for the mag . . . Comedian & TV talk show host Ellen DeGeneres is in the process of having legal papers drawn up to adopt a child with actress partner Alexandra Hedison – their 3rd attempt at adoption . . . And because you really must know, Oscar-winning actress Renee Zellweger is so terrified of airport security guards handling her underwear – she has it sent home by courier (and what can ‘Brown’ do for you today?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Shania Twain – TODAY she’s expected to attend “Shania Twain Day” in her hometown of Timmins ON when the ribbon will be cut on the new ‘Shania Twain Centre’, a museum of her life and career that houses the majority of the awards she’s won, stage outfits she’s worn, and various other mementos like handwritten lyrics and photos.
• John Lennon – TODAY Capitol Records releases 2 discs: the new 17-track “Acoustic”, which includes 7 never-before-released versions of his classic tunes; and a revamped version of the 1975 album “Rock ‘n’ Roll”, which will include 4 bonus tracks.
• Dierks Bentley – The “How Am I Doin’” singer lives on a boat. Why? He says he despises landscaping.
• Sting – Microsoft billionaire Bill Gates reportedly paid him $500,000 to sing a grand total of 8 songs at a private party at The Supper Club in NYC.
• Billy Ray Cyrus – The one-hit-wonder who hit #1 with “Achy Breaky Heart” in 1992 has a new single out called “I Want My Mullet Back”.
• Madonna – She’s close to signing a mega-buck deal to star in ads for Versace’s 2005 Spring line.
• Terri Clark – She’s been shooting a video in LA for her new single “The World Needs a Drink” (the ultimate country song?).

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Around the World in 80 Days” (Family Adventure – DVD):  Jackie Chan & Steve Coogan star in this Disney remake of Jules Verne’s story of a British inventor who makes an outlandish bet that he can circumnavigate the globe in no more than 80 days. Cameos by Kathy Bates, John Cleese, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Luke & Owen Wilson, Rob Schneider and Richard Branson.
• “A Home at the End of the World” (Drama Romance – DVD): In a story that moves from 1967 to the 1980s AIDS era, Colin Farrell & Dallas Roberts play the adult incarnations of childhood buddies (and perhaps more) who end up creating their own kind of family with Robin Wright Penn. Sissy Spacek co-stars. This is the film in which a brief scene exposing Farrell’s manhood was supposedly clipped because it proved ‘too distracting for audiences’.
• “Festival Express” (Rock Documentary – 2-disc DVD set) – A filmed record of a 1970 train tour across Canada by some of the greatest musicians of the time including the Grateful Dead, Janis Joplin, The Band, Delaney & Bonnie, Flying Burrito Brothers, Sha Na Na, Ian & Sylvia, and New Riders of the Purple Sage. For 5 days, the performers lived, slept, rehearsed and did countless unmentionable things aboard a customized train with each stop culminating in a rock concert.
• Collectors may also be interested in “Pirates Of The Caribbean: Special Edition 3-Disc Gift Set”, “The OC: The Complete First Season” and “The West Wing: The Complete Third Season”. And don’t forget “Shrek 2″ is being released this FRIDAY.

THIS SUIT STINKS:
Since 1999, South Korean inventor Hyuk-ho Kwon has sold thousands of his ‘Self-Perfuming Suits’. Kolon International suits are soaked in a chemical containing micro-capsules that emit an aroma. The scratch-and-sniff fabric comes in pine, lavender and peppermint scents. They’re popular in his home market but haven’t really caught on elsewhere. MSRP: About $400. (You can get the same effect for a buck-and-a-half by dumping a bottle of aftershave on your jacket.)
– ABC News

SERVING SIZE:
Many diets suggest a number of ‘servings’ of various food groups per day. But just how big is a ‘serving’? According to dieticians quoted in a newspaper article …
• A ‘half-cup serving’ of ice cream is about the size of a tennis ball.
• A serving of nuts should fit comfortably in the cupped palm of your hand.
• A ‘medium baked potato’ is about the size of a computer mouse.
• Bend your thumb and measure from the bend to the tip to get an idea of what a teaspoon of peanut butter looks like.
– “Globe & Mail”

IN YOUR EAR:
Vying with the ‘camera-phone’ for the title of oddest tech-combo comes this – the makers of Oakley sunglasses have unveiled the world’s first ‘Digital Music Eyewear’. Oakley ‘Thump’ glasses can hold over 60 tracks or about 4 hours of tunes and deliver them through earplugs in the arm pieces. The eyewear comes in either 128 MB or 256 MB versions in various color schemes. (Coming soon … a toothpick that receives e-mail!)
NET: http://www.oakley.com/catalog/eyewear/thump

BS AMAZING FACT:
As noted a week ago, the outcome of the last Washington Redskins home football game before a US presidential election has correctly predicted the winning candidate each time since 1936 … a total of 17 presidential elections. When the Redskins have won, the party in power has been reelected; when the Redskins have lost, the challenging candidate has unseated the incumbent. We’ll find out tonight if the quirk repeats itself once more after Sunday’s score … Green Bay 28, Washington 14.

THE BULL SHEET 11.02.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1961 [43] kd (Katherine Dawn) lang, Consort AB, pop singer (“Crying”, “Constant Craving”)

1969 [35] Reginald “Fieldy” Arvizu, Bakersfield CA, rock bassist (Korn-“Did My Time”, “Here To Stay”)

1974 [30] Nelly (Cornell Haynes Jr), Austin TX, rapper (“My Place”, “Hot In Herre”)  QUOTE: “I can’t still be rapping about hustling for money to eat or I’ll sound like a real idiot.”

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “US Election Day”, always the Tuesday after the first Monday in November. Beside the Presidential election, it will also select representatives for all Congressional seats and one third of Senate seats.

TODAY is “All Souls’ Day”, the excuse for an annual tradition in Santiago, Guatemala — the “Kite Festival”, when natives send massive, extremely colorful kites up to the heavens in an effort to communicate with the dead. (No response so far … guess that’s why they keep trying every year.)

TODAY is “National Deviled Egg Day”. (Tomorrow is ‘Watch Dad Evacuate an Entire Store in 10 Seconds Day’.)

THIS MONTH is the 13th annual “International Drum Month” when you’re encouraged to ‘discover your inner drummer’. So to honor percussionists everywhere …
• What does a drummer use for contraception? [His personality.]
• What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? [Homeless.]
• What’s the last thing a drummer says in a band? [“Hey, let’s try one of my songs.”]
• What did the professional drummer say when he got a job? [“Would you like fries with that?”]
• Did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? [Me neither.]
• What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? [A drummer.]
• Why is a drum machine better than a drummer? [Because it can keep a steady beat and won’t sleep with your girlfriend.]
• How can you tell when the stage riser is level? [The drool comes out of both sides of the drummer’s mouth.]
NET: http://www.playdrums.com/idm04.html (Percussion Marketing Council)
NET: http://www.cse.ogi.edu/Drum/jokes.html (Drummer Jokes)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1936 [68] ‘Canadian Broadcasting Act’ creates the CBC

1920 [84] KDKA Pittsburgh signs on as USA’s 1st ‘commercial radio station’ (as 8XK)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1999 [05] 1st sports league to create its own 24-hour TV network (NBA.com TV)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1878 [126] World record 55-foot-long squid captured off Newfoundland

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Take Our Kids to Work Day
[Wed] National Sandwich Day
[Thurs] Season premiere of “The OC”
[Fri]  Governor-General’s Performing Arts Awards (Ottawa)
[Sat] Halfway Point of Autumn
[Sat] National Men Make Dinner Day
This Week Is . . . National Homeless Week
This Month Is . . . Fun With Fondue Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS WOMAN’S GUIDE TO DRIVING MEN CRAZY:
• Do not say what you mean. Ever.
• Cry. Cry often. Tell them it’s their fault.
• Bring things up that were said, done, or thought years, months, or decades ago.
• Discuss your period in front of them. Watch them squirm.
• Be late for everything. Yell if they’re late.
• Make them guess what you want and then get mad when they’re wrong.
• Plan little relationship anniversaries, like the monthly anniversary of the time you saw each other in the library for 5 minutes.
• Constantly claim you’re fat. Ask them. Then cry, regardless of their answer.
• Whenever there is silence ask them, “What are you thinking?”

GREATEST CHICK FLICKS OF ALL-TIME:
1. “Morocco”
2. “Camille”
3. “Notorious”
4. “The French Lieutenant’s Woman”
5. “The English Patient”
– “O Magazine”

TRUTH OR TOTAL BS?
Have a phone caller or studio guest try to determine which statements are true …
• The ancient Etruscans made false teeth out of ivory and bone that was secured by gold bridgework as early as 700 BC. [TRUE]
• Lids for beer steins were invented to keep evil spirits out of beer. [TRUE. In fact, (co-host) had evil sprits in his beer Saturday night.]
• 1 in 4 women are natural blondes. [BS. It’s true that about 25% of Canadian and American women are born blond, but only an estimated 5% remain so after puberty.]
• In general, men can read smaller print than women. [TRUE.]
• The skeleton of the average 160-lb human weighs only 4 lbs. [BS. More like 29 lbs.]
• The ‘You are here’ arrow on a map is called the ‘IDEO locator’. [TRUE. That’s IDEO, not idiot.]
• Canada’s first newspaper was “The Globe & Mail”. [BS. It was “The Halifax Gazette” in 1751.]
 
HERE OR HEREAFTER?
Run down the list of famous screen actors while your phone contestant or studio guest tries to decide if each is stiff or still kickin’ …
• Academy Award-winner Burt Lancaster. [Died 1994.]
• Dancer extraordinaire Fred Astaire. [Died 1987.]
• Squash-faced actor Ernest Borgnine. [Alive at 87.]
• Quaker Oats huckster Wilford Brimley. [Alive at 70.]
• Acting-family patriarch Henry Fonda. [Died in 1982.]
• “Star Wars” actor Sir Alec Guinness. [Died in 2000.]
• “Lawrence of Arabia” swashbuckler Peter O’Toole. [Alive at 72.]
• Tony Curtis, actor-father of Jamie Lee Curtis. [Alive at 79.]
• Tough-guy movie actor Charles Bronson. [Died 2003.]
• “Make my day” actor/director Clint Eastwood. [Alive and 74.]

BS PHONES STARTER:
How many times were you contacted or left messages yesterday? How many of them did you actually want?

BS BLATANT JOKE:
To err is human, but to really screw things up requires a computer.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The majority of THIS is sold during cold and flu season. JANUARY is the top-selling month of the year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Chicken soup.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.