Friday, October 26, 2001 Edition: #2162
On your mark. Get set. Go back to bed!
THIS WEEKEND is the biggie for Halloween parties, particularly adult parties at dances and in clubs. Each year, the ‘Home Sewing Association’ comes out with a list of Halloween costume ideas that are supposedly easy to throw together at home. Here are their recommendations for 2001:
• WESTERN WEAR, as in cowboy (we predict more people will be into ‘Eastern Wear’, as in turbans and fake beards)
• ROCK STARS (dress up as Britney or J-Lo — for the price of a band-aid)
• ANIMALS, using clip-on ears and tails (or that animal Mike Tyson, LOOKING for tail)
• PRO SPORTS FIGURES (wear a cap, carry a club, and voila — Barry Bonds!)
• HISTORICAL INFLUENCES (such as Henry VIII, Cleopatra . . . Mick Jagger)
• ‘VAMPY’ & ‘SULTRY’, from the movie “Moulin Rouge” (dress like a slut, or as [your co-host] calls it — workwear)
• WIZARDS, a la ‘Harry Potter’ (or with a #23 jersey, Wizards a la Michael Jordan!)
KID COSTUMES:
According to Unity Marketing, pop culture is once again expected to have a strong influence on costume ideas for youngsters. Fictional heroes such as ‘Harry Potter’, ‘Batman’, ‘Power Rangers’ and ‘X-Men’ will trick or treat alongside real-life heroes — as more kids plan to dress up as police officers or firefighters this year.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Britney Spears says she has fully recovered from the flu and will kick of her rescheduled
North American tour (in support of her 3rd album “Britney” due NOVEMBER 6) Halloween night in Washington DC . . . Early word on “Star Wars Episode Two: Attack of the Clones” is that it has “The Phantom Menace” beat by a mile, with a light-saber battle between over 20 Jedi knights and an army of droids & monsters, plus Natalie Portman showing off ‘her half-exposed body’ . . . Bob Dylan is writing a multi-volume autobiography, with the first installment due NEXT YEAR (it will be titled “Umma Nammo Smuff Urggle”) . . . British actress Helena Bonham Carter, who notoriously broke up the marriage of Emma Thompson & Kenneth Branagh, has apparently been at it again, dating her “Planet of the Apes” director Tim Burton and ending his 10-year relationship (she da Hollywood home-wrecker!) . . . Since Sandra Bullock turned down the role, rumor has it Jennifer Aniston will play “Wonder Woman” in a bigscreen version of the classic superhero comic . . . Already mom to 2 Tommy Lee toddlers, word is Pam Anderson is now preggers with Kid Rock’s kid (passing down more of the world’s most obnoxious genes).
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
Kevin Spacey plays a mental hospital patient who claims to be from a far-away planet in the sci-fi fantasy “K-Pax” . . . ‘N Sync’s Lance Bass & Joey Fatone star in the Toronto-shot teen romance “On the Line”, about a shy advertising employee who meets his dream girl on the El train but forgets to get her phone number, resulting in an all-out search for the mystery girl . . . Jake Gyllenhaal & Drew Barrymore star in the fantasy drama “Donnie Darko”, story of a disturbed adolescent who is led by the voice of a 6-foot-tall bunny to create havoc (reminiscent of the Jimmy Stewart classic “Harvey”) . . . This year’s Halloween fare includes: “!3 Ghosts”, a no-name thriller in which a father and daughter move into a haunted mansion . . . And Snoop Dogg has the lead role in the horror thriller “Bones”, about a ghost who returns to wreak revenge 20 years after his death.
CRUISING OUT-OF-CONTROL:
A “US News & World Report” poll finds men are more than twice as likely as women to doze off while driving. 27% of male respondents admit to having snoozed at the wheel at least once, compared to just 12% of women. (Now how ’bout some figures on applying makeup while driving?)
CASH BARS:
Prison authorities in Kursk, Russia hope to turn the new local prison into a profit-making enterprise with a ‘pay-as-you-serve-time’ plan. Inmates will be able to buy luxuries like a TV, refrigerator, and even privacy. (For just 20 rubles you can buy your own prison bitch.)
SPORTS BREAK:
Hundreds of Afghans took a break from the war THIS WEEK in the liberated city of Gulbahar to watch the traditional national sport of ‘buzkashi’ — a kind of no-rules polo played with a dead goat or other animal carcass. Scrums of horsemen riding at full gallop lean to the ground to claim the carcass. The horse rider or ‘chapandaz’ who grabs the goat and gallops around a pole and then on to the finish line scores. It’s a sport that dates back to Genghis Khan and the Mongols. (OK, it sounds weird. But then, try explaining to an outsider the game where a pigskin is kicked between two poles. Or the one where a rubber disk is slapped with a piece of lumber.)
WORLD’S MOST-HATED MAN:
A California inventor has developed an electronic bra which he says will keep women’s breasts from bouncing and also from getting cold. (In a related story, California police believe they’re close to solving a case involving the theft of dozens of orange traffic cones.)
EYE OPENER:
When do most of us rise and shine? According to a Sharp Watch poll, 7am is wake-up time for 27% of us, followed by 6am (15%) and 7:30am (11%).
BS AMAZIN’ FACTS:
• A Holstein cow’s spots are like fingerprints — no two have the same pattern of spots. (Does the RCMP keep records?)
• In show biz, a ‘walla-walla’ scene is one where movie or stage extras pretend to be talking in the background. When they say ‘walla-walla’ it looks and sounds like they are actually talking. (Try it with your morning crew.)
• The Sanskrit word for ‘war’ means ‘desire for more cows’. (Remember the ‘Gulf Desire For More Cows’?)
• Leonardo da Vinci spent 12 years painting the ‘Mona Lisa’s’ lips. (So don’t complain when your wife spends a half-hour painting hers.)
• Before 1800 there were no separately designed shoes for right and left feet. (Back then it was much easier putting on your slippers in the dark!)
THE BULL SHEET 10.26.01
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [55] Pat Sajak, Chicago IL, TV game show host (“Wheel of Fortune”, since 1981)
1946 [55] Ivan Reitman, Komarmo SLOV [raised in Canada], movie producer/director (“Six Days Seven Nights“, “Ghostbusters”, “Animal House”)/1985 Special Achievement Genie Award
1947 [54] Hillary Rodham Clinton, Park Ridge IL, US Senator [D-NY]/former First Lady
1961 [40] Dylan McDermott, Waterbury CT, TV actor (Bobby Donnell-“The Practice”)
1963 [38] Natalie Merchant, Jamestown NY, rock singer (“Jealousy”, “Carnival”)/former 10,000 Maniacs lead
1968 [33] Tom Cavanagh, Ottawa ON, TV sitcom actor (‘Ed’ Stevens-“Ed”) FACTOID: Played on the basketball team while attending Queens University in Kingston ON
1978 [23] Mark Barry, Manchester ENG, pop singer (BBMak-“Still on Your Side”, “Back Here”) FACTOID: Unlike most ‘boy bands’, they play their own instruments, write & produce most of their music
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAY . . .
1939 [62] John Cleese, Weston-Super-Mare ENG, movie actor (“The World Is Not Enough”, “A Fish Called Wanda”, “Monty Python”) NEXT FILMS: Plays ‘Nearly Headless Nick’ in “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” and returns as ‘R’, the replacement for gadget man ‘Q’, in the 20th ‘James Bond’ movie, which may or may not be called “Beyond the Ice”
SUNDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [57] Dennis Franz, Maywood IL, TV actor (4 Emmy Awards as Det Andy Sipowitz-“NYPD Blue”)
1955 [46] Bill (William Henry III) Gates, Seattle WA, Microsoft mogul/world’s wealthiest man
1967 [34] Julia Roberts, Smyrna GA, movie star (Oscar-“Erin Brockovich “, “Pretty Woman”) NEXT FILM: Co-STARS with George Clooney & Brad Pitt in the Vegas casino heist caper “Ocean’s Eleven”, opening DECEMBER 7
1972 [29] Brad Paisley, Glen Dale WV, country singer (“We Danced”, “Her Didn’t Have to Be”)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “International Red Cross Day” in honor of its founding on this date in 1863 in Geneva, Switzerland. It’s an organization we’ve developed new appreciation for of late.
TODAY is “Frankenstein Friday”, honoring the ‘mother’ and ‘father’ of “Frankenstein” — spooky author Mary Shelly and creepy actor Boris Karloff. Darmstadt, Germany is home to the annual “Frankenstein Festival” THIS WEEKEND. It’s the site of the actual ‘Frankenstein Castle’ that inspired Mary Shelley’s famous horror novel.
SUNDAY at 2 am, clocks officially go back to “Standard Time” (‘Spring forward, Fall back’). Experts say about 20% of us notice significant changes in mood as seasons change, accentuated by the switch from Daylight Saving Time. What used to be called ‘winter blues’ is now ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’ or ‘SAD’.
SUNDAY is “Mother-in-Laws Day”, honoring their ‘contribution to family life and good humor in enduring humiliating bad jokes’.
SUNDAY “Plush Animal Lovers Day” commemorates the 1858 birthday of Teddy Roosevelt, namesake of the ‘Teddy Bear’.
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1970 [31] “Doonesbury” comic strip by Garry Trudeau debuts in 28 newspapers (he’s been married to “Dateline: NBC’s” Jane Pauley since 1980)
1975 [26] ‘Heimlich Maneuver’ 1st approved as aid for people choking on food (named for its developer, Dr Henry Heimlich)
1982 [19] ‘Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame’ organized in Toronto (permanent site in St Mary’s ON includes regulation diamond nicknamed ‘Field of Dreams’)
1990 [11] 1st NHLer to reach 2,000 career points (Wayne Gretzky, while playing for LA Kings)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1997 [04] Florida Marlins become the quickest expansion team to win a World Series, defeating Cleveland Indians in just their 5th season (a record that may be broken by Arizona Diamondbacks, who’ve reached the World Series in only their 4th year of existence)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sat] World Series begins (NY/AZ)
[Sat] Cranky Co-workers Day
[Sun] National Chocolate Day
[Mon] Hermit Day
[Tues] Devil’s Night
[Wed] National Magic Day / Increase Your Psychic Powers Day / Halloween
Peace, Friendship & Goodwill Week
National Cosmetology Month (honoring people who make a living off hair and nails)
BULL’S BITS . . .
BS PHONER:
For 13 years, Angel Santiago has been selling roller skates — for parrots. His company, Parrot Mountain, now manufactures them in 3 sizes. Is there a big demand for this? And why should your parrot learn to roller skate anyway?
PHONER: 800-362-8183/732-918-0777 (Shrewsbury NJ)
NET: http://www.parrotmountain.com
BS BS HALLOWEEN MOVIE QUIZ:
• What truly horrible actress appeared in both sequels “Scream 2″ and “Scary Movie 2″? [Tori Spelling]
• Which film actor has played the role of ‘Dracula’ more than any other? [Christopher Lee]
• What actress starred in both the first movie, and the most recent movie, the 7th in the “Halloween” horror film series? [Jamie Lee Curtis appeared in the 1978 original and the 1998 update “Halloween H20: 20 Years Later”.]
• According to the movie “Scream”, there are certain things you shouldn’t do if you want to survive when a horror-movie killer’s around. Name 3. [Don’t answer the door, don’t answer the phone, don’t drink or do drugs, don’t have sex, don’t ever say “I’ll be right back,” and don’t go back into the house — you end up dead, and as Drew Barrymore discovered, you don’t get to be in the sequel.]
• Which of the following is NOT a real movie — “Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster”, “Frankenhooker”, “Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter”, or “Babe of Funkenstein”? [There’s no such movie as Babe of Funkenstein — yet.]
• Which 1996 hit horror film originally had the working title “Scary Movie”, 4 years before the comedy spoof “Scary Movie” was made? [“Scream”]
• What famous painting are the scary masks in the “Scream” series based on? [“The Scream” by Edvard Munch.]
• What was used as blood in the shower scene of Alfred Hitchcock’s horror classic “Psycho”? [Chocolate syrup. The movie was in black & white.]
• In what movie does Angela Lansbury play a kindly witch? [“Bedknobs & Broomsticks”]
(Sources: Internet Movie DataBase, E! Online)
WORLD SERIES STUMPER:
Q: TOMORROW Arizona Diamondbacks begin playing in their first World Series. Of the existing 30 MLB teams, 7 have NEVER made it to a World Series. Name them.
A: Anaheim Angels, Colorado Rockies, Houston Astros, Montreal Expos, Seattle Mariners, Tampa Bay Devil Rays, and Texas Rangers.
(Source: “Sports Illustrated for Kids”)
BS TAG LINE:
When you go to court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
