October 23 2017

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Monday, October 23, 2017        Edition: #6081

Thanks For Being a Bull Market!

★ Dr. Phil’s car insurance might be going up soon, because he ran into a skateboarder in a crosswalk. Dr. Phil was leaving a parking lot near Universal Studios Friday morning when he attempted to pass a van, but when he went around it, he struck a man in his early 20s who was riding his skateboard in a crosswalk. The skateboarder recognized Dr. Phil and told him he was fine … so they shook hands and Phil drove away.  A witness nearby reported the incident, and when LAPD showed up to check on the skateboarder … he told them he was no longer fine — he said his shoulder and leg were hurting, although he declined an ambulance ride to the hospital.
★ Prince Harry and Meghan Markle reportedly met with Queen Elizabeth last week and took an important step forward in their engagement plans. With the couple appearing to be on the verge of a wedding announcement, the question becomes: What will Markle’s title be once she joins the ranks of the royal family?  With Harry being fifth in line to the throne, Markle could take the title of princess or she could become a duchess. “The Duchess of Sussex” is currently available and is one of the more likely titles for Markle when she becomes royalty.
★ Kit Harington has read the final ‘Game of Thrones’ scripts, and he says the ending made him cry.  According to him, “It’s been an institution longer than any other institution I’ve been in, school, drama school, anything.  I get a bit weepy thinking about it. It’s gonna be a strange sort of year saying goodbye to everyone”.
(Weren’t they supposed to be keeping the scripts away from the cast until they were shooting?)
★ Scarlett Johansson is organizing a star-studded benefit reading to support hurricane relief efforts in Puerto Rico.  Johansson has recruited her ‘Avengers’ cast mates including Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans and Mark Ruffalo to help her raise funds for those affected by the devastating natural disasters in Puerto Rico.  The stars will get together for a special reading of Thornton Wilder’s ‘Our Town’ on November 6
★ J. K. Simmons has revealed that the ‘Justice League 2’ script is already in development.  According to Simmons, “They’re working on scripts for ‘The Batman’ and for the next ‘Justice League’ movie. It introduces my incarnation of Commissioner Gordon. I don’t have a lot to do. I feel like I just dipped my toe in the water of who Commissioner Gordon will be.”
(Really, did Commissioner Gordon EVER have a lot to do?)
★ A ‘Magnum P.I.’ reboot is in the works at CBS. The new Magnum is described as an update of the original.  It follows Thomas Magnum (Tom Selleck’s former role), a decorated ex-Navy SEAL who, upon returning home from Afghanistan, repurposes his military skills to become a private investigator.
(His car!  We need to know about his car!)

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): George Clooney, Norman Reedus, Niall Horan
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Clive Owen, Colleen Ballinger, Julia Michaels
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Anna Faris, Amy Sedaris, Tyminski
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Mariska Hargitay, John Cho, ZZ Ward featuring Fantastic Negrito, Sonny Emory
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Gabrielle Union, Method Man, Sabrina Claudio
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): “Weird Al” Yankovic, Taran Killam, Solomon Georgio
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Leeanne Locken, Kelly Dodd
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sen. John McCain
• “The Talk” (CBS): Freddie Highmore, Amber Theoharis, guest co-host Michelle Williams
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Anna Faris, Monica Mangin
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Justin Hartley, Bobby Moynihan
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC): The couples attempt to capture the spirit of a specific movie genre.
• “The Voice” (NBC): The coaches enlist Rascal Flatts, Billy Ray Cyrus, Joe Jonas, and Kelly Rowland to prepare their artists; each coach has one steal left.

• Justin Bieber – has covered his torso in a massive tattoo. He took to Instgram to share a picture and video of the new ink, which appears to feature gargoyles, skeletons, an eagle, and archways across his rib case and tummy.
• Pink – says the long-standing feud between her and Christina Aguilera is officially no more.  Pink says that the two made-up when they crossed paths on ‘The Voice’.  “I hadn’t seen her in years and years and years and we became mums, we grew up”.
• Taylor Swift – has set off yet another round of speculation with the release of her song ‘Gorgeous’.  Fans are scrambling to find out who the baby is who starts off the song saying ‘Gorgeous”.  The thinking is that it is most likely one of her besties like Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds’ daughter James or Jaime King’s son Leo, who is also Taylor’s godson.
• Ed Sheeran – is opening up about his secret struggle with substance abuse. Quote: “I didn’t really notice it was happening. It just started gradually happening, and then some people took me to one side and were like, ‘Calm yourself down’…so that was a wake-up call and (lead to my) taking a year off”.
• Adele – she, Abba and Katy Perry are among stars who have stopped the use of their songs for Karaoke.  Some artists want to strike a richer deal for the use of their music, while others may not want their music overplayed.  (What would I have to pay to never someone warble ‘Don’t Stop Believin’ again?)
• Blink-182 – guitarist/singer Tom DeLonge is raising money to literally travel to the stars in an “ElectroMagnetic vehicle.” He is looking for investors to build to build a spaceship to “Travel instantaneously through Space, Air and Water by engineering the fabric of Space-Time”.
• Weezer – has released an online stream of a new song called ‘Happy Hour’. The song is from the album ‘Pacific Daydream’, which will hit stores on Friday.
• Rush – is planning the release of a new and expanded edition of ‘A Farewell to Kings’.  ‘A Farewell to Kings – 40th Anniversary’ will be available on Dec. 1.
• Jason Aldean – is sending more support for the victims of the Las Vegas shooting. His cover of Tom Petty’s ‘I Won’t Back Down’, from his Oct. 7 SNL appearance has been released, with all proceeds going to the ‘Direct Impact Fund’ to help survivors.
• Kenny Chesney – will launch his ‘Trip Around the Sun Tour’ in Tampa, Florida on April 21, 2018. Thomas Rhett, Old Dominion and Brandon Lay are set to open.  It is set to run through Aug. 24 in Foxboro, MA.

A few years ago, everyone was talking about the expensive coffee made from the droppings of the Asian Palm Civet cat.  Someone had the bright idea to collect seeds from their poo and make it into designer coffee that could be sold for around $80 per cup.  Well, that expensive brew has a new rival.  Klatch Coffee in Ranchero Cucamonga, California is selling $55 cups of ‘Esmerelda Geisha 601′ to customers who have nothing better to do with their money.  This flavorful brew is made from very rare beans which were found growing in Panama.  The coffee shop managed to purchase just 11 pounds of the beans at a very reasonable $601 per pound, and are willing to pass the exorbitant rates on to you!  How does it taste?  Apparently it has notes of peach, blackberry, jasmine and other fruit flavors that are so flavorful that “even an untrained palate will find it remarkable”.
(Translation: We are worried that we aren’t going to be able to sell all this crap!)
(How much for pumpkin spice?)
(I’m not looking for a $55 cuppa, I’m looking for a decent cup of coffee for a buck!)
-TodayIFoundOut, Today

Dolphins might rule the world rather than people if it weren’t for one thing.  Susanne Shultz, an evolutionary biologist at the University of Manchester, is the author of a new study which found that dolphins’ social behaviour is basically an aquatic version of human society.  Along with other cetaceans (whales, dolphins and porpoises) dolphins give themselves names, they have language dialects, they raise children as a group and they care for their elders.  According to the results of the study, there is really only one factor that allows humans to stake their claim for world domination over dolphins: Lack of thumbs.  The reason that dolphins and their relatives were never able to develop great cities and technology is simply because…they never evolved to have opposable thumbs.
(Well if they’re so smart, why DIDN’T they?)
(Plus that whole ‘they’re stuck in the water’ thing…)
(I think the fact that dolphins provide care for their elderly for FREE actually shows that they are MORE advanced…)

Kentucky Fried Chicken won the internet last week when someone who pays attention to this kind of thing noticed that in spite of the fact that the company’s official Twitter account has more than 1.23 million followers, it only follows 11 people.  Who are the select 11?    The five former members of Spice Girls, and six men named Herb.  Why?  The fast food chain’s fried chicken recipe famously consists of 11 herbs and spices.  Response to this revelation has been nothing short of resplendent, with one Twitter user posting “The person that runs the KFC account needs a raise. I don’t care how much they make now. GIVE THEM A RAISE”.
(Because they couldn’t find anyone named “Erb”?)
(Aren’t they a bucket full of laughs…)

➢ You should drink at least eight glasses of water a day:  The amount of water you need depends on many factors including the person’s health, activities, and where you live.  (And handy access to a restroom!)
➢ Schizophrenia causes a person to have split personalities:  Schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder are two different mental disorders.
➢ You only use 10% of your brain:  We use virtually every part of our brain, and most of the brain is active almost all the time.  (Note: individual results may vary…)
➢ Cracking your knuckles causes arthritis:  There is no link between cracking knuckles and arthritis.  (You would think teachers could have come up with something a little scarier to their students than the prospect of getting arthritis in 65 years!)
➢ Reading in dim light ruins your eyesight:  Dim lighting does not cause any adverse effect on our eyesight, but it does tire your eyes out more quickly.  (Because if that were the case, walking around after dark would have the same effect!)
➢ Rust causes tetanus infection:  Rust does not cause the tetanus virus. It is caused by the Clostridium tetani bacterium that is generally found in dirty environments.  (Good thing.  Have you seen my car?)
➢ Eating turkey makes people drowsy:  Turkey does not make people sleepy.  People feel sleepy after a Thanksgiving meal because they tend to overeat.  (But gassy?  That’s a completely different story!)


1954 [63] Ang Lee, Chaochou, Taiwan, movie director-producer (“Life of Pi”, “Brokeback Mountain”)

1956 [61] Dwight Yoakam, Pikeville KY, country singer (‘Fast As You’, ‘Honky Tonk Man’)/movie actor (“Crank” films, “Sling Blade”)

1959 [58] Sam Raimi, Royal Oak MI, movie director-producer (“Poltergeist”, “Spider-Man” movies)

1959 [58] (Alfred) ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic, Lynwood CA, parody singer (‘My Bologna’, ‘Eat It’)

1964 [53] Robert Trujillo (Roberto Agustín Miguel Santiago Samuel Perez de la Santa Concepcion Trujillo Veracruz Batista), Santa Monica CA, rock bassist (Metallica since 2003-‘The Day that Never Comes’, ‘Hardwired’)

1974 [43] Eric Bass, Jacksonville FL, rock bassist (Shinedown-‘If You Only Knew’, ‘Second Chance’)

1976 [41] Ryan Reynolds, Vancouver BC, movie actor (“Deadpool”, “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”)/wed to Blake Lively since 2012. COMING UP…Deadpool 2, 2018

1976 [41] Cat Deeley, Birmingham UK, TV host (“So You Think You Can Dance” since 2006)

1983 [34] Matthew Shultz, Bowling Green KY, indie rock singer (Cage the Elephant-‘Ain’t No Rest For the Wicked’, Come A Little Closer’)

1986 [31] Emilia Clarke, London England, TV actress (“Daenerys Targaryen” on “Game of Thrones” since 2011.

• “Canning Day”, honoring the 1752 birth of French chef/chemist Nicolas Appert, who came up with the concept of sealing perishable food in jars. For this, he is known as ‘the father of canning’, but he also came up with many other inventions … including the bouillon cube.

• “TV Talk Show Host Day”, to celebrate those ‘gifted with the personality and intellect to enable them to bring out the best in their guests’. It’s an annual observance on the birth anniversary of iconic talk show host Johnny Carson in 1925. Who’s today’s best?

• “Boston Cream Pie Day”, although it is called a pie, Boston cream pie is actually a cake. It consists of two round layers of sponge cake with a thick vanilla custard filling. It is usually frosted with a chocolate glaze but it can also be topped with confectionary sugar. The dessert is served in wedges just like a pie.

• “Slap Your Irritating Co-Worker Day”, we’re kidding! (Honest!  The HR department told us we are!) But just for fun, here are the rules you must follow…
* You can only slap one person per hour – no more.
* You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again later in the same day.
* You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
* No weapons are allowed…other than going upside somebody’s head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.
* If questioned by a supervisor [or police, if the supervisor is the irritant], you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE!

[Tues] Black Thursday
[Tues] Food Day
[Wed] International Artist Day
[Wed] Greasy Foods Day
This Week Is…Get Organized Week
This Month Is…National Cyber Security Awareness Month

2011 [06] Comedian/actor Robin Williams marries Susan Schneider

2010 [07] Singer Katy Perry weds Russell Brand at a luxury resort in Northern India

2015 [02] Adele releases her single ‘Hello’ – it becomes the first song with more than a million downloads in its first week– 1.1 million (and inspires approximately the same number of viral video cover versions…)

2004 [13] Pop singer Ashlee Simpson is caught lip-synching during an appearance on NBC-TV’s “Saturday Night Live” (pretty much a career killer)

2001 [16] 1st Apple ‘iPod’ is unveiled, which goes on sale on November 10th for $399


✓ Your body has enough iron in it to forge a 3-inch nail.
✓ Not only do your nose and ears never stop growing, earlobes also elongate over time from gravity.
✓ People with blue eyes have a higher alcohol tolerance.
✓ If the human eye was a digital camera, it would have 576 megapixels. Currently, the most expensive digital camera in the world has 200 megapixels.
✓ Your brain keeps developing until your late 40s.
✓ Your brain accounts for only 2% of your body weight, yet it uses 20% of the total oxygen and blood in your body.

• Hairy Otter
• Dog the Mountie Hunter
• Actual Frozen Elsa
• Justin Beaver
• Poutina Turner
• Anyone from The Eh-Team
• The game ‘Sorry’
• Thankenstein
• Red Green, of course
• An American. You dress normally but you carry a gun and pretend to not understand curling

☎ What’s something you’d really like to be good at, but know you’ll never put in the necessary time and/or effort?

I’m known for my motivational skills.  Everyone says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around.

Question: 60% of women in a relationship say they don’t initially believe their man when he tells her this. What?
Answer: That he is sick

If only we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.

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