Friday, October 27, 2017 – Edition: #6085
Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Paul Walker’s daughter Meadow has settled her wrongful death lawsuit with Porsche after claiming design defects in their car contributed her father’s death. 18 year-old Meadow Walker sued the car company in 2015 claiming her father initially survived the high-speed crash in the Carrera GT, but was unable to escape the wreckage after being trapped by the seat belt, and was burned alive. Walker was a passenger when the wreck occurred. Terms of the settlement are confidential.
★ Emma Stone has a new man in her life, according to reports. It’s being claimed that Stone is dating Saturday Night Live segment director Dave McCary. In June, the duo were spotted together at the premiere of the indie movie ‘Brigsby Bear’. McCary is also the co-founder of the sketch comedy group, ‘Good Neighbor’.
★ Kevin Sorbo says the late Italian designer Gianni Versace sexually harassed him. The actor, best known for his starring role on the TV series “Hercules,” said on Adam Carolla’s podcast this week that the deceased designer sexually harassed him when Sorbo was working as a model in the early ’90’s. Versace was shot to death in his Miami Beach home in 1997.
★ More names will be added to Canada’s Walk of Fame next month. Two-time Olympic gold medallist and three-time world champion Donovan Bailey is among those who will be inducted at an annual awards gala in Toronto on Nov. 15. Actress Anna Paquin, the youngest Canadian to win an Academy Award, will also receive a star, as will science broadcaster and environmental activist David Suzuki.
★ Actress Caitlin O’Heaney has accused Val Kilmer of physically assaulting her during an audition for his 1991 movie ‘The Doors’. O’Heaney claims she is breaking a nondisclosure agreement by speaking out about the alleged incident which she claims took place when she auditioned for the role of Doors’ singer Jim Morrison’s girlfriend Pamela, a role which ultimately went to Meg Ryan.
★Mila Kunis’ three year-old daughter drinks wine every Friday. Kunis says that young Wyatt loves to wake up the day before the weekend because she knows she is allowed to consume some of the alcohol beverage as part of Shabbat, Judaism’s day of rest. She says that her daughter has sipped wine since she was born…”Friday mornings she wakes up and I say, ‘It’s Friday,’ and she says, ‘I can have wine!’ ” It should be noted that Wyatt is allowed “just a sip”.
WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Denis Leary, 2 Chainz featuring Travis Scott
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Dr. Phil McGraw, Fleet Foxes
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jennifer Hudson, Jeff Garlin, Jesmyn Ward, Gregg Bissonette ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Alicia Vikander, Luke Wilson, Zach Woods, Sir Sly ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Jenna Bush Hager, Barbara Pierce Bush
• “The Talk” (CBS): Guest co-host Carrie Ann Inaba
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Eva Longoria, Milo Ventimiglia
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kristen Bell, Mila Kunis, Kathryn Hahn, Kelly Clarkson
• “MLB Baseball” (FOX): World Series Game 3, Dodgers at Astros
• “Blindspot” (NBC): Season 3 premiere.
• “Michael Jackson’s Halloween” (CBS): New one-hour holiday special features the music of Michael Jackson and the voices of Christine Baranski, Kiersey Clemons, Alan Cumming, George Eads, Brad Garrett, Lucy Liu, Jim Parsons and Lucas Till.
• “Stranger Things” (NETFLIX): Season 2 premiere.
• “MLB Baseball” (FOX): World Series Game 4: Dodgers at Astros
• “Black Sabbath: The End Of The Road” (SHOWTIME): Chronicles the final tour from Black Sabbath.
• “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” (ABC): Charlie Brown is finally invited to a Halloween party; Snoopy engages the Red Baron in a dogfight; and Linus waits patiently in the pumpkin patch for the Great Pumpkin.
• “MLB Baseball” (FOX): World Series Game 5: Dodgers at Astros
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Fats Domino – the iconic New Orleans musician behind songs like “Blueberry Hill” and “I’m Walkin” has died at 89. Domino passed away of natural causes at a private residence at 3:30 AM on Tuesday. Domino was born and raised in New Orleans and famously stayed in his home when Hurricane Katrina hit in 2005. He was presumed dead at the time until it was learned he had been rescued by a Coast Guard helicopter. He sold over 65 million records in his career.
• Lionel Richie — has apparently adopted, “Here Comes Da Judge” as his tongue-in-cheek slogan for ‘American Idol’. Word is that he is plastering the catchphrase on every piece of merchandise imaginable.
• Kelly Clarkson – says that when she was skinny, she wanted to kill herself. Before she took charge of her own image, Clarkson says industry executives and handlers urged her to lose weight. And the pressure to stay thin left her on the brink of self-destruction. Her new ‘Meaning of Life’ album is out today.
• Imagine Dragons – have hit #1 on Billboard’s Alternative Songs chart for the third time. ‘Thunder’ has taken over the top spot from Portugal. The Man’s ‘Feel It Still’.
• Pink – has earned the top spot on the Billboard chart with her latest album, ‘Beautiful Trauma’, which moved an astounding 408,000 units. That makes it the top first-week seller for a female artist this year.
• Bruce Springsteen – is currently lighting up the Big White Way on Broadway, but fans can catch his new song in the movie ‘Thank You For Your Service’. The drama about an Iraq War veteran features “Freedom Cadence,” a new song the Boss recorded for the film.
• Billy Corgan – performed Miley Cyrus’ hit ‘Wrecking Ball’ during his Toronto show last week. Corgan is currently on the road promoting his solo album ‘Ogilala’.
• Robbie Williams – Having cancelled a section of his tour recently, he says he made the decision because he had received some “very worrying” test results that saw him admitted to intensive care in hospital. He hasn’t revealed what the problem was.
• Ne-Yo – is to become a father for the fourth time. His wife Crystal Smith is expecting the couple’s second child. The pair welcomed son Shaffer in May 2016.
• John Mayer – has shared that he’s been sober for one year. He elaborated on replacing drinking with smoking weed in the summer, saying, “I put it where drinking used to go, and the quality of life has gone up considerably”.
• Maren Morris – She will sing a duet with former One Directioner Niall Horan at the Country Music Association Awards. Other collaborations include Kelsea Ballerini with Reba McEntire and Dierks Bentley alongside Rascal Flatts. The CMA Awards are Nov. 8 on ABC.
• Kelsea Ballerini – is doing a concert at her old high school in Knoxville, TN tomorrow. The school’s stage is where she first performed a song she wrote herself. The show is sponsored by the Tennessee Department of Tourist Development.
• Kenny Rogers – became the 80th person to receive a star on the Music City Walk of Fame on Tuesday. The honor came one day before Rogers bid a public farewell during his ‘Kenny Rogers: All in for the Gambler’ tribute show.
OPENING TODAY IN MOVIE THEATERS:
• “Jigsaw” (R-Rated, Drama/Horror): Bodies are turning up around the city, each having met a uniquely gruesome demise. As the investigation proceeds, evidence points to one suspect: John Kramer, the man known as Jigsaw, who has been dead for ten years. (Matt Passmore, Tobin Bell, Callum Keith Rennie, Hannah Emily Anderson)
• “Suburbicon” (R-Rated, Comedy): A home invasion rattles a quiet family town. (Matt Damon, Julianne Moore, Oscar Isaac, Jack Conley)
• “Thank You for Your Service” (R-Rated, Drama): A group of U.S. soldiers returning from Iraq struggles to integrate back into family and civilian life, while living with the memory of a war that threatens to destroy them long after they’ve left the battlefield. (Haley Bennett, Miles Teller, Keisha Castle-Hughes, Amy Schumer)
• “Amityville: The Awakening” (R-Rated, Horror): A single mother moves her three children into a haunted house, unaware of its bloody history. (Jennifer Jason Leigh, Bella Thorne, Mckenna Grace)
• “All I See Is You” (R-Rated, Drama): A blind woman’s relationship with her husband changes when she regains her sight and discovers disturbing details about themselves. (Blake Lively, Jason Clarke, Ahna O’Reilly)
THE DUMBING DOWN OF ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE:
So now that man has developed fairly decent-working robots with artificial intelligence, what is it we are having them do? How about binge-watching YouTube videos? That’s exactly what Google is having their robots do, in order to better learn the mannerisms of humans. Google has put together a collection YouTube clips to help machines learn how humans exist in the world. The videos they are watching are three-second clips of people doing everyday things like drinking water, taking a photo, playing an instrument, hugging, standing or cooking. Apparently, high-tech computers are still having some trouble recognizing human actions and figuring out what it is we are doing. Google plans to analyze years and years of video, eventually helping advertisers better target consumers, based on the actions a person is more likely to watch. Ultimately, the goal is to teach computers “social visual intelligence”, which means that someday computers will better understand what humans are doing, what they might do next and what they are trying to achieve.
(Which should occur about….oh….3 days before they assume control of the planet.)
(I’m glad Google hand-selected the videos. I’d hate for these artificially intelligent computers to know the “natural intelligence” level of some people on YouTube!)
(Full disclosure: Google owns YouTube. YouTube makes money based on advertisers paying for how many times their ads are viewed. Is this a conflict of interest?)
NOW AN EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL MESS:
A runaway garbage truck crashed into the front of a Henrietta, New York gift shop named ‘A Beautiful Mess’, causing extensive damage. Owner Jeri Flack says she received a call from police on Monday informing her that a garbage truck rolled away from a gas station, traveled across the street and crashed into his ‘Beautiful Mess’, making it an even MORE beautiful mess, presumably. Gas station workers say the truck driver parked there to use the bathroom and the truck had rolled away by the time he returned. No one was injured, but the truck’s impact caused serious structural damage to the 200-year-old brick building. Flack says she doesn’t know if she’ll be able to reopen in time for the Christmas shopping season.
(Open? She’ll still be sorting the stock from the contents of the truck!)
(I don’t know which is bigger…the garbage truck, or the irony!)
(Brake and enter. Literally.)
SPOOKY NIGHT IN?
The best Halloween movies ever….through the eyes of Seventeen magazine…
10. The Addams Family (1991)
9. Halloween (1978)
8. Beetlejuice (1988)
7. Get Out (2017)
6. The Craft (1996)
5. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
4. Carrie (2013)
3. Hocus Pocus (1993)
2. Scream (1996)
1. Halloweentown (1998)
BS CHRONOMETER 10.27.17
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939  John Cleese, Weston-super-Mare UK, TV actor-comedian (“Monty Python’s Flying Circus”)/movie actor (2 ‘James Bond’ films, 2 ‘Harry Potter’ films, 3 ‘Shrek’ films)
1949  Garry Tallent, Detroit MI, rock bassist (Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band-‘Born to Run’, ‘Born In the USA’)
1958  Simon LeBon, Bushey UK, pop singer (Duran Duran-‘Hungry Like the Wolf’, ‘The Reflex’)
1984  Kelly Osbourne, London UK, TV personality (“Project Runway Junior” 2015, “Fashion Police” 2010-15)/daughter of Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne
1993  Troy Gentile, Boca Raton FL, TV actor (‘Barry Goldberg’ on “The Goldbergs” since 2013)
1955  Bill (William Henry III) Gates, Seattle WA, retired Microsoft mogul/estimated wealth $89.5 billion/philanthropist (Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation)
1966  Andy Richter, Grand Rapids MI, TV sidekick (“Conan” since 2010, “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” 2009, “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” 1993-2000)
1967  Julia Roberts, Smyrna GA, movie star (“Pretty Woman”, “Erin Brockovich”)/mom to twins Hazel & Phinneaus. COMING UP…Wonder, 2017
1972  Brad Paisley, Glen Dale WV, country singer (‘Perfect Storm’, ‘Mud on the Tires’/19 #1 country hits
1974  Joaquin Phoenix, San Juan PR, movie actor (“Reservation Road”, “Walk the Line”) COMING UP…Mary Magdalene, 2018
1987  Frank Ocean, Long Beach CA, rapper/pop singer-songwriter (‘Nikes’, ‘Thinkin Bout You’)
1985  Troian Bellisario, LA CA, TV actress (‘Spencer Hastings’ on “Pretty Little Liars” 2010-17)
1998  Nolan Gould, Columbus GA, TV actor (‘Luke Dunphy’ on “Modern Family” since 2009)
TV voice actor Dan Castellaneta (“The Simpsons”) is 60; TV/movie actress Winona Ryder (“Stranger Things”) is 46; TV actress Tracee Ellis Ross (“black-ish”) is 45; TV/movie actress Gabrielle Union (“Being Mary Jane”) is 45
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Boxer Shorts Day”, a salute to their invention on this date in 1901
• “Cranky Co-Workers Day”, in honor of all the complaining and just plain cranky people you work with and have to endure all year. This is the day to let them go with it and enjoy their misery.
• “Potato Day”, one of several annual ‘food holidays’ honoring the humble spud. This root vegetable became one of the New World’s most important discoveries. What’s the best way to cook ‘em? Fries? Mashed? Baked? Au Gratin w/Gruyere & Creme Fraiche?
• “American Beer Day”, beer is the most popular alcoholic drink in the United States, where over 5,000 breweries produce more than 9 billion gallons annually.
• “Bread Sticks Day”, honoring the fingers of flour that were invented by a baker in northern Italy in 1679, according to local folklore.
• “Frankenstein Friday”, honoring the ‘mother’ and ‘father’ of “Frankenstein” – spooky author Mary Shelly and creepy actor Boris Karloff.
• “Plush Animal Lover’s Day”, a day to celebrate your stuffed animal collection. ‘Plush’ sounds so much more humane, no?
• “Forgiveness Day”, begun in 1994 to promote the healing power of forgiveness worldwide. Take a few moments to sincerely forgive someone. (The jerk!)
• “International Animation Day”, first proclaimed in 2002 to celebrate the art of animation.
• “Chocolate Day”, started by the Confectioners Association to promote what is almost every woman’s (and many a man’s) weakness. Some say chocolate from the New World (mostly Mexico) was introduced to Europe on this date in 1550. Suggestions for today’s menu …
– Breakfast: Chocolate cereal; chocolate cream-filled doughnuts; hot chocolate.
– Morning Snack: Chocolate bar to give you a boost until lunch.
– Lunch: A big tall glass of chocolate milk; chocolate pie or pudding for dessert.
– Afternoon Snack: Chocolate covered raisins, which contain both vegetable and fruit.
– Dinner: Chocolate liqueur aperitif; chocolate-flavored coffee; chocolate cake.
– Evening Snack: Chocolate ice cream, of course!
• “International Cat Day”, a day for cat fanatics to dote over their felines … as if they don’t the rest of the year.
• “Hermit Day”, the perfect excuse to curl up with a good book and enjoy a day of peace and quiet.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1964  Singers Sonny & Cher wed, Cher wore bell-bottoms
2014  “The Last Ship”, Sting’s musical about shipbuilding in north-east England, opens on Broadway at the Neil Simon Theatre
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2009  Country singer Brantley Gilbert releases his debut album, “Modern Day Prodigal Son”
2013  Influential singer-songwriter-guitarist Lou Reed (Velvet Underground, Metal Machine Trio) dies from liver disease at his home in Southampton NY at age 71
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1975  Bruce Springsteen’s picture is featured on the covers of both ‘Time’ & ‘Newsweek’
2004  MLB’s Boston Red Sox win their 1st World Series championship since 1918, finally vanquishing the so-called ‘Curse Of the Bambino’ (Babe Ruth) that had plagued them 86 years
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2002  Dallas Cowboys running back Emmitt Smith becomes NFL’s all-time rushing leader, surpassing the former mark of 16,726 yds held by Walter Payton (Smith ends career in 2004 with 18,355)
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Right-handed people chew most of their food on the right side of their mouth, whereas left-handed people do so on the left.
✓ Teeth are the only part of the human body which cannot heal itself.
✓ A person passes on 278 different types of bacteria to another person when they kiss. Fortunately, 95% are not harmful.
✓ Fingernails grow about four times faster than your toenails.
✓ If allowed to grow for your whole lifetime, the length of all your hair would be about 725 kilometers.
✓ The rate at which a person’s hair grows doubles during an airplane flight.
BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 24 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS SIGNS YOU’RE TOO OLD TO GO TRICK-OR-TREATING:
• You get winded from knocking on the door.
• When someone drops a candy in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
• You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hairpiece.
• You ask for high-fiber candy only.
• When the door opens you yell, “Trick or …” and can’t remember the rest.
• You’re the only ‘Batman’ in the neighborhood with a walker.
• You have to ask a kid to chew the candy for you.
• People say, “Great Keith Richards mask!”, but you’re not wearing a mask.
– First published in “BS” 2002.
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Why is it called a ‘dad-bod’, and not a ‘father-figure’?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: A new survey has found the two worst things to do on a first date. One is talking about the weather. What’s the other one?
Answer: Going to a horror movie
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more.