August 2, 2016

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Tuesday, August 2, 2016 – Edition #5787

Bully For You!

★ Marvel has renamed the next 2 “Avengers” movies. Originally, the 3rd and 4th instalments in the franchise were to be called “Avengers: Infinity War Parts 1 and 2”. The 3rd film (2018) will retain the “Infinity War” title but the 4th (2019) is now untitled. Why? The 2 movies are not related as the original names suggested. In fact, they’re very different. Hence the name change.
★ Cute news for “Star Trek” fans … in a love that spans 200 years, an unidentified cast member from “Star Trek: Deep Space 9” is said to be dating an unidentified cast member from “Star Trek: Enterprise”. Ideas who, anyone?
★ JK Rowling has confirmed she will not be writing about ‘Harry Potter’ any longer (hooray!). The 51-year-old, who has become a multi-millionaire after writing the book series, says the new play “Harry Potter & The Cursed Child” is the last story she will pen about the fictional wizard, 19 years after the character was first introduced.
– Bang Showbiz
★ Kristen Stewart has finally confirmed her new relationship because she doesn’t want it to seem like she’s ashamed of it. Stewart has been fiercely private about her personal life and has dodged labeling her sexuality since being spotted with rumored girlfriend and former personal assistant Alicia Cargile last year. Alicia joined Kristen on the red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival in May. And now Kristen has publicly confirmed the two are a for-real couple.
– “Elle”
★ US vice president Joe Biden is guest-starring on an upcoming episode of “Law & Order: SVU”. Biden appears in a new storyline focused on violence against women. That’s apropos, as he wrote the Violence Against Women Act in 1994. It’s not the first time he’s teamed with “Law & Order” star Mariska Hargitay, as the pair collaborated on a PSA about sexual assault in 2014. That’s likely why the actress narrated the video that introduced Biden at the Democratic National Convention last Wednesday.
★ And 41-year-old celebrity chef Jamie Oliver says that when he goes he wants to be cremated … in a wood-fired oven. And he’d like English jazz-pop singer-songwriter Jamie Cullum to accompany the ceremony with his rendition of Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On a Prayer”. Quote: ”I’ve got to keep it culinary!”
– “Weekend Magazine”

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – 12 acts compete for a spot in the semifinals.
• “Bachelor in Paradise” (ABC) – In the Season 3 debut hopefuls gather at their first cocktail party on the beach.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Weird Al Yankovic (“Mandatory Fun”). Rerun.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Rob Thomas (“The Great Unknown”). Rerun.
• “The Hills: That Was Then, This Is Now” (MTV) – Lauren Conrad (now 30) returns to reality TV to reminisce about her time on “The Hills” in a 10th anniversary special. The hit MTV docu-series premiered on May 31st, 1996.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Grouplove (“Big Mess”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Murs & 9th Wonder (“Fornever”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Legendary crooner Tony Bennett, who turns 90 on Wednesday.
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Eve (“Lip Lock”). Rerun.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – 50 Cent (“Street King Immortal”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Dua Lipa (“Hotter Than Hell”).

• The Band Perry – Through a series of social media posts, the sibling trio dubbed yesterday ‘Comeback Day’, which turned out to be the occasion for the release of their new single “Comeback Kid”. The band is currently en route to the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio.
• Barbra Streisand – After years of battling stage fright, the 74-year-old diva is hitting the road to celebrate 6 decades of #1 albums. “The Music… The Mem’ries… The Magic!” tour begins tonight at Staples Center in Los Angeles CA.
• David Bowie – His son, film director Duncan Jones, has announced he & wife Rodene Ronquillo welcomed their 1st child, exactly 6 months after Bowie died in January. Their son is named Stenton David Jones after his great-grandfather and his grandfather respectively.
• Drake – “One Dance” has finally been knocked from #1 in Britain after tying Wet Wet Wet’s “Love is All Around” for the UK’s 2nd-longest #1 record ever at 15 weeks. Bryan Adams’ “Everything I Do” still holds the title at 16 weeks. Drake’s album “Views” has scored #1 on the ‘Billboard 200’ for the 12th week, most since the “Frozen” soundtrack’s 13 weeks in 2014.
• The Go-Go’s – The “We Got the Beat” hitmakers are hitting the road one last time after 38 years together. They’ll kick off the North American tour tonight in Clearwater FL and take their final bow August 30th at the Greek Theatre in LA, where the band was founded.
• Josh Groban – He & actress Kat Dennings (“2 Broke Girls”) have reportedly split after nearly 2 years together. They first went public with their relationship in October 2014, when they attended The Carousel of Hope Ball in Beverly Hills CA.
• Kanye West – He tells BBC Radio One he wants to create an ”affordable” shoe line. He’s been working with Adidas for just over 3 years and now says he’s determined to come up with a shoe that costs under $30. Quote: “(It’s) gonna be the coolest shoe of all.”
• Katy Perry – The 31-year-old claims she hasn’t spotted a single silver hair amongst her dark tresses yet, though even she’s been dying her hair since she was 15. Well, that explains it, no?
• Prince – His family (minus the 29 people a Minnesota judge has ruled out as heirs) has set a date for an official tribute to the late music icon. A concert is being held at US Bank Stadium in Minneapolis MN on October 13th.

Coming out on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “Keanu” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Friends hatch a plot to retrieve a stolen kitten (named after Keanu Reeves) by posing as drug dealers for a street gang. Stars Keegan-Michael Key, Jordan Peele, Tiffany Haddish, Method Man. The real Keanu Reeves contributes his voice in a cameo.
• “The Lobster” ( R-Rated Sci-Fi Dramedy ): Colin Farrell & Rachel Weisz have the lead roles in Greek filmmaker Yorgos Lanthimos’ first English-language film. His drama “Dogtooth” scored an Oscar nomination in 2009. This new sci-fi film is an unconventional love story set in a dystopian future. Filmed in Ireland.
• “Meet the Blacks” ( R-Rated Comedy ): After ‘Carl Black’ (Mike Epps) comes into some unexpected money, the ‘Black’ family decides to get out of Chicago IL in hope of finding a better life. They pack up and move to Beverly Hills CA, just around the time of the annual purge, when all crime is legal for 12 hours. Co-stars Zulay Henao, Mike Tyson, George Lopez.
• “Mother’s Day” ( PG-13 Dramedy ): In director Garry Marshall’s last holiday-theme ensemble film (á la “New Year’s Eve”, “Valentine’s Day”), 3 generations come together in the week leading up to Mothers Day. Stars Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson, Julia Roberts, Jason Sudeikis, and Timothy Olyphant.
• Also being released: “The Blacklist: The Complete 3rd Season” (TV); “Blindspot: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); “Invasion Of the Body Snatchers” (Collector’s Edition); “Key & Peele: The Complete Series” (TV); and “The Knick: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV).

Are you ready? The donkey. At the Zasavica Special Nature Reserve in Serbia, milk from the beast of burden is used to make ‘magareci sir’, aka ‘pule cheese’. A small cupcake-sized mound of the stuff will set you back $55. It can cost $600 to more than $1,000-a-pound and is described as ‘sweet, clean, and mild’. The reserve was started about 2 decades ago as a retirement home for abused Balkan donkeys. Now, the females in this herd of about 180 animals are responsible for supplying all the milk for the world’s donkey cheese supply. (Remember this at your next wine ‘n cheese … there’s nothing like a glass with a little ass.)
– Mother Nature Network.

Flip flops may feel comfortable, but wearing them too often can cause aches and pains that extend beyond your feet. Some expert advice on the issue …
✓ Limit use to short periods of time, on the beach, around the pool, etc.
✓ Never wear flip flops while playing sports.
✓ Do not walk long distances in them.
✓ Do not wear them while driving, as they can get lodged under pedals.
✓ Use sunscreen on feet when wearing flop flops.
✓ Replace thin-soled flip flops within 3-to-4 months.
✓ Cease wearing them if irritations develop between toes caused by the thong.

The cure for the deadly so-called ‘superbug’ may be hiding right under our noses … or, at least, up them. A team of German bacteriologists says our noses may contain more than boogers; some also contain what may be an antidote to the superbug MRSA, which kills about 11,000 patients every year and sickens over 80,000. The bacteria found living in some noses produces an MRSA-killing antibody known as lugdunin. The idea is to take the lugdunin-producing genes and put them into harmless bacteria. While that’s a promising idea, one expert warns that lugdunin is still “a million miles away from being a useful drug”. (But think about it … no more vaccinations. You just get someone to sneeze all over you.)
– “The Guardian”

Every day millions of us put our takeout coffee cups into a recycling bin. But we’re wrong … next to none of them are recycled and no-one’s taking responsibility for that, least of all the big coffee retailers who have created this takeout trash mountain. (We say the billions-upon-billions of plastic coffee pods going into landfills are just as big a disaster. Hello, Kuerig?)
– BBC News Magazine

Japanese scientists at Osaka University say that watching TV for hours can raise the risk of dying from a blood clot in the lungs. the bad news for fans of binge-watching is that every additional 2 hours of screen-viewing daily increases the risk of fatal pulmonary embolism (PE) by 40%. Watch 5 or more hours each day and you’re more than twice as likely to die than those watching less than 2.5 hours. PE is caused by a blockage in blood vessels in the legs that usually works its way up to the lungs. The researchers behind the study warn against long sessions of watching back-to-back TV episodes. They recommend going for a walk and stretching at least once every hour during viewing time. (Walk to the kitchen and stretch for the Doritos in the top cupboard.)
– “Newsbeat”

As if you need help. Researchers in Brussels, Belgium who have analyzed people drinking beer in different environments have concluded that sound, sensation, and even shape & color can impact our perception of taste. An experiment set up to investigate whether music and packaging affect one’s taste perception has found that it definitely does, and apparently ‘significantly’ so. It seems that the added pleasure that a song brings to the experience of quaffing ale is transferred into the beer’s perceived flavor. (Well, duh. Apparently these boneheads have never witnessed 80,000 concert-goers with a red solo cup in each hand.)
– “Medical Daily”

• Highest-grossing film globally so far in 2016? “Captain America: Civil War”.
• Police throughout the UK fired their guns a collective total of 7 times in the 1st quarter of 2016.
– “The Independent”


1964 [52] Mary-Louise Parker, Fort Jackson SC, movie actress (“RED” films, “Fried Green Tomatoes”)/TV actress (“Weeds” 2005-12, “The West Wing” 2001-06)

1970 [46] Kevin Smith, Red Bank NJ, filmmaker (“Clerks”, “Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back”)

1976 [40] Sam Worthington, Godalming UK [raised Perth, Australia], movie actor (“Avatar”, “Clash Of the Titans”)

1992 [24] Charli XCX (Charlotte Aitchison), Cambridge UK, pop singer (“Break the Rules”, “Boom Clap”)

• “Coloring Book Day”, honoring the age-old kids’ activity in which we all (sadly) learned that coloring outside the lines is a faux pas. Coloring books have made a comeback of late … with adults. They’re being touted as relaxing therapy to help remedy anxiety and stress.

• “Ice Cream Sandwich Day”, celebrating the chilly goodness of stuffing ice cream between a couple of wafers. Stone cold brilliant!

• “National Night Out”, the 33rd annual event promoting crime & drug prevention as concerned people in urban neighborhoods across North America ‘take back the streets’ by going out en masse after dark.

2013 [03] Nielsen SoundScan reports that album sales totalled 4.68 million for the week ending July 28th, the lowest weekly total since the tracking system was formed in 1991

2001 [15] New Orleans International Airport is re-named Louis Armstrong International in honor of locally born trumpet player, jazz singer, and bandleader

2010 [06] US government estimates the ‘Deepwater Horizon’ oil spill dumped nearly 5 million barrels of oil into the Gulf of Mexico (“Deepwater Horizon”, the movie, opens September 30th)

[Wed] Watermelon Day
[Wed] Bratwurst Day
[Thurs] India Pale Ale Day
[Thurs] Chocolate Chip Day
[Fri] “Nine Lives”; “Suicide Squad” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Fraud Awareness Week
This Month Is … Immunization Awareness Month


The Rio Olympics (are supposed to) open Friday, so here’s a review of …
• Blindfold Fencing
• Charades in Pajamas
• Endurance Squatting
• Steroid-Enhanced Armpit Shaving
• Equestrian Synchronized Swimming
• Drunken Yachting
• Apartment Hunting
• Javelin Tag
• Speed-Walking with a Bad Rash

☎ How many pairs of shoes do you own? Why?

Someone’s gone and made a bunch of Pokémo(a)n dildos …

Preparation H costs like 10 bucks a tube. Talk about taking it up the …

Question: Everyone says you should never do THIS, but the average person does 50 times per year anyway.
Answer: Skips breakfast.

There is always a way … and it usually doesn’t work.

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