Monday, February 13, 2012 Edition: #4689
Get a Load of This Sheet!
WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Whitney Houston, one of the most successful yet troubled female singers in music history, died Saturday at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California at age 48. Paramedics were called to the hotel in the afternoon after she was found unresponsive in her room. The cause of death is not immediately known, or at least not immediately released. She had a history of substance abuse but declared to Oprah Winfrey in 2010 that she was finally drug-free after at least 2 attempts at cleaning up.
– QMI Agency
• The coroner who appointed his unqualified wife to preside over Amy Winehouse’s inquest has been suspended from his job while an investigation takes place. Dr Andrew Scott Reid’s partner Suzanne Greenaway recorded a verdict of ‘death by misadventure’, an ‘unintended consequence’ of drinking too much. Reid could face disciplinary action or even lose his job when the probe is complete.
– “The Sun”
• New parents Beyoncé & Jay Z have introduced baby Blue Ivy to the world by sharing personal photos of the newborn online. The music super-couple has posted 5 pictures of the tot on a specially-dedicated Tumblr.com page. The images show Blue Ivy with a full head of hair as she is cradled in one photo by her smiling mom and held lovingly in another by her proud dad.
• During a court hearing on Friday, a judge assigned Halle Berry’s daughter her own legal counsel to act in the child’s best interests as the actress battles her ex-boyfriend Gabriel Aubry over custody. The former couple has been locked in a bitter dispute over the care of 3-year-old Nahla ever since they split up in 2010.
• And where would we all be without advice from Gwyneth Paltrow? She’s offering her top tips for Valentines Day in her much maligned Goop.com newsletter. Paltrow suggests romantics should load a special playlist onto their loved one’s iPod; serve them breakfast in bed; and hide a sweet surprise in a pocket, wallet, or purse for their partner to find. Paltrow also suggests some reading material, Laura Corn’s book “101 Nights of Grrreat Sex”.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Band Perry – They’re holding down this week’s #1 spot on the “Billboard” magazine ‘Country Songs’ chart with “All Your Life”.
• Beyoncé – Aspiring music producers and remixers can now submit their versions of the track “End of Time” from her album “4” via BeyonceOnline.com. The winner of the best remix will win a $4,000-prize and inclusion on a future Beyoncé release.
• 50 Cent – World Food Program confirms that he has committed to provide 1 billion meals to aid the hungry in Somalia and Kenya. Fiddy’s donating 10 cents from each sale of a new energy drink called ‘Street King’ that he’s promoting.
• Lady Gaga – During a surprise appearance at a school conference in Los Angeles she has confessed to having suffered from bulimia as a teenager. It’s the first time she’s mentioned her eating disorder in public.
• Maroon 5 – Frontman Adam Levine is launching his own label called 222 Records, and the first artist signed to it is Matthew Morrison, best known as the character ‘Will Schuester’ on “Glee” (FOX). Morrison’s new album will be released in the Spring.
• Paul McCartney – “Hollywood Reporter” says a tribute album is in the works for the soon-to-be 70-year-old. Among the disparate artists slated to appear are Alice Cooper, BB King, Billy Joel, Brian Wilson, Heart, Ronnie Spector, Steve Miller, and Willie Nelson. The collection does not yet have a label or a release date.
• Taylor Swift – Today MTV, VH1, and CMT debut the new video for “Safe & Sound”, her collaboration with The Civil Wars that serves as the 1st single from “The Hunger Games” soundtrack. The video will premiere at 7:54 pm EST on “MTV First: Taylor Swift”.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS) – Wale f/Miguel (“Ambition”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated) – Estranged couple Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC) – Lana Del Rey (“Born To Die”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Christina Milian (“It’s About Time”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Kasabian (“Velociraptor”).
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated) – Katharine McPhee (“Smash”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC) – The Civil Wars (“Barton Hollow”).
BEDROOM DOs & DON’Ts:
Occasional “BS” contributor Robyn Bentley says bad feng shui in your bedroom can put a damper on your love life. The adult bedroom is for rest, relaxation, and romance. If it doesn’t have anything to do with these things, it shouldn’t be in your bedroom. A few other tips …
• A recent study finds that couples who have a TV set in the bedroom make love half as often as those who don’t.
• Computers are also competition for attention from your partner.
• Exercise equipment is not romantic.
• Happy photos from good times are positive reminders of why you are a couple.
• Only photos of the couple should be displayed. Your children, family, and friends don’t belong in your bedroom.
• Set up your bedroom to be comfortable for 2 people, even if you’re single.
BEST FOR LAST:
If you’re down to your last chocolate, it’s not all bad news. A new University of Michigan study has found it will likely taste better than any of the previous ones. Psychologists have discovered that knowing something is about to end seems to make us enjoy it more. In experiments, those who were pre-warned they were on their last chocolate found the final treat their favorite 66% of the time. In contrast, those unaware the sweet treats were going to end rated the last one tops only 22% of the time. It’s thought this ‘positivity effect’ may occur in other areas, for instance the final candidate in a series of job interviews may be regarded as the best. (Last things that aren’t the best: the bottom cup of coffee; the dregs in the wine bottle; the last draft pick.)
A NOVEL ROMANCE:
A publishing outfit called Books By You sells thousands of personalized romance novels each year around this time with titles like “Racing Hearts” and “Pirates of Desire”, where the reader is the star. Customers answer 20-to-30 questions about themselves and/or their beloved, ranging from body type to pet names. Then the details are woven into one of the company’s 8 pre-formatted novels. You can even have your favorite photo attached to the book jacket.
– Associated Press
WHITHER ‘THE BIRD’:
When did the middle finger become offensive? Ancient Greek philosopher Diogenes is said to have extended his middle finger as a gesture of contempt in 4th-century BC Athens when expressing his contempt for a gas-bag politician. The middle finger, extended with the other fingers held beneath the thumb, is thus documented to have expressed insult and belittlement for more than 2 millennia. That makes it one of the most ancient insult gestures known, according to anthropologists. The Romans later had their own name for it … ‘digitus impudicus’ (the indecent finger).
– BBC News
BS VALENTINES GIFT IDEAS:
• Stuffed animals & balloons (unless you’re an 8th grade Casanova, punch yourself if you’re considering these).
• Carnations (guessing you’re also making pasta for dinner as in Hamburger Helper, cheapo!).
• Bloomin’ Onion (technically not a flower at all, but quite frankly delicious!).
• Chocolates (The Whitman’s Sampler is only okay if you’re bagging a 92-year-old).
• Orchids (unique, exotic, and they distinguish you from the other ass-bags she’s dated).
– Adapted from TheToiletPaper.com
While most couples celebrate Valentines Day with flowers, chocolates, and candlelit dinners, archivists have unearthed evidence that a less savory romantic gesture was practiced by 19th-century Taiwanese aboriginals, who presented loved ones with … a severed head. Taking someone’s head after killing them was a ritualistic part of life in the culture until the 1930s and suitors would present severed heads to potential partners to woo them or to brides to celebrate their marriage, according to newly-released archive material at Britain’s Royal Botanic Gardens. The heads were kept in the open air on a narrow platform and never removed. (Hey, thanks for the heads up!)
– Press Association
New hi-tech vending machines offering free Wi-Fi hot spots in addition to selling soft drinks are being installed across Japan. Asahi Soft Drinks is setting up 1,000 new vending machines in several regions of the country this month, with a goal of expanding the number to 10,000 within 5 years. The vending machines are fitted with technology enabling smartphone users standing within a 50-meter radius to enjoy free and uninterrupted Internet access for a 30-minute session. (What a smart way to get people to hang around your vending machines!)
– “Globe & Mail”
DID YOU KNOW?
• A recent study has found that couples are 2.55 times more likely to break up during the weeks leading up to and after Valentines Day compared to any other time.
• Having an easy-to-say name makes you more likely to get promoted.
– “Daily Telegraph”
• Because so many New Yorkers use their feet to get them from place-to-place, they weigh on average 6-or-7 lbs less than those who live in suburban America.
– “New York Times”
BS CHRONOMETER 02.13.12
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944  Jerry Springer, London UK, trash TV talk show host (“Jerry Springer Show” since 1991)
1950  Peter Gabriel, Woking UK, classic rock singer (“Sledgehammer”, “Big Time”)
1972  Todd Harrell, Escatawpa MS, rock musician (3 Doors Down-“Here Without You”, “When I’m Gone”)
1974  Robbie Williams, Stoke-on-Trent UK, pop singer (“Angels”, “Millennium”)/former member of pop group Take That
1976  (Leslie) Feist, Amherst NS, Canada pop singer (“1234”, “Mushaboom”)
1979  Mena Suvari, Newport RI, movie actress (“American Beauty”, “American Pie” movies)
1997  Prince Michael Jackson Jr, Beverly Hills CA, Michael Jackson’s #1 son with ex-wife/baby carrier Debbie Rowe
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Caffection Day”, celebrating the ‘connection’ and ‘affection’ that married best friends enjoy. Oh gag.
• “Clean Out Your Computer Day”, observed on the 2nd Monday of the month, when you’re encouraged to logically review and delete old files and programs.
• “Get A Different Name Day”, set aside to give us opportunity to pick one we’d really like. Find listeners with really odd names and ask them what nickname they’d like to be called. Or find them a cool new name at the ‘Baby Namer’ Website.
• “International Condom Week”, just in time for Valentines Day. A poll by the makers of Durex condoms finds there aren’t many virgins left over the age of 25 … only 2% of those polled!
• “World Radio Day”, a UN observation adopted on November 3, 2011 by UNESCO’s 36th General Conference. It was originally proposed by Spain. (Shouldn’t we get the day off or something?)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1972  The musical “Grease” opens on Broadway in NYC (goes on to become one of Broadway’s longest-running shows)
2000  The last original Sunday “Peanuts” comic strip appears in newspapers (creator Charles M Schulz died the day before)
2001  “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” receives 10 Oscar nominations (1st Asian film to ever get a nod for ‘Best Picture’)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1969  1st ‘Human Egg Fertilized in a Test Tube’ (a womb with a view!)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1988  Michael Jackson buys a ranch in Santa Ynez, California and names it ‘Neverland’ (later called ‘the scene of the crime’)
2002  ‘Outlaw’ country singer Waylon Jennings (“Luckenbach, Texas”, one of The Highwaymen with Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, and Johnny Cash) dies of diabetic complications in Chandler, Arizona
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2003  Dan Price completes a 4,000-mile cross-country ride from Joseph, Oregon to Key West, Florida … by tricycle (averages 50-to-60 miles a day, camps out at night)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Valentines Day
[Tues] Women’s Heart Day
[Tues] Call In Single Day
[Tues] Donor Day
[Tues] Quirky Alone Day
[Tues] Pet Theft Awareness Day
[Tues] Library Lovers Day
[Tues] Condom Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Alzheimer’s & Dementia Education Week / Celebration of Love Week / Children of Alcoholics Week / Condom Week / International Flirting Week / Jell-O Week / Love a Mench Week / Random Acts of Kindness Week
BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 18 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS GREAT THINGS ABOUT THE ‘SWIMSUIT EDITION’:
The annual ‘Swimsuit Edition’ from “Sports Illustrated” is out tomorrow (shot on the US Gulf Coast using models from the South). Some of our favorite things about this annual event …
• Beats the heck out of the “Sports Illustrated” ‘Snowsuit Edition’.
• Proof positive that “Jersey Shore” isn’t the only one exploiting buff bimbo bod’s on the beach.
• More interesting than a feature on 350-lb defensive linemen who knit in the off-season.
• Almost as good as the ‘Birthday Suit Edition’.
• Zach Galifianakis in a Speedo.
– Updated from first publication in “BS” 1995.
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Amazing, you hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks 2 sizes!
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: According to the Smell and Taste Treatment & Research Foundation, THIS is surprisingly the #1 smell that women say turns them off.
BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ If you could only watch 1 TV show for the rest of your life, which would it be?
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
You want to send flowers that ‘convey admiration’. What color should they be?
a. Pale pink. [CORRECT]
– Floral Industry Association
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A politician is someone who would do anything for the common man except become one.
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
We’re on BS beach week hiatus February 16-23 inclusive. Subscribers will receive account credits in lieu of service.
THANKS FOR BEING A BULL MARKET:
“BS” salutes these stations who’ve just re-upped for another year of service: Andy Wilson @ EZ Rock [CHUR] North Bay ON (20 years); Art Pultz @ EZ Rock [CKGB] Timmins ON (19 years); Rich & Gary @ EZ Rock [CJMX] Sudbury ON (17 years); Aaron Rand @ CJAD 800 Montréal QC (15 years); and we welcome samplers this week who include Vicki Lin @ ICRT [International Community Radio Taipei] Taiwan; Bob Burt @ Q97.7 [WLQI] Rensselaer IN; Brad Boyer @ Information Radio 1230 [KWIX] Moberly MO; Jude Hingert @ E FM Colombo, Sri Lanka.