Monday, January 2, 2017 – Edition: #5880

Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
All “Bull Sheet” subscribers have received account credits for missed service days over the holiday season. Hope you had a good one!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ ABC-TV’s “The Bachelor” (premiering tonight) is teaming up with ESPN for a ‘Bachelor Fantasy League’, an ‘official fantasy game experience’. Each week players can challenge their family, friends, and the rest of ‘Bachelor Nation’ to predict the top 4 women who will get to introduce the bachelor to their hometowns, as well as the recipient of the final rose. For every correct prediction, players earn points that are eventually entered into a grand-prize draw for a trip for 2 to Los Angeles, 2 tickets to Disneyland, and 2 tickets to the taping of “The Bachelorette: After the Final Rose” next Summer.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/jjal8o2
– EW.com
★ Genealogy detectives have discovered that Benedict Cumberbatch, the actor who portrays ‘Sherlock Holmes’ in the BBC/PBS-TV series, is distantly related to the author who created the iconic character more than a century ago. 40-year-old Cumberbatch and the late Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, who died in 1930, are 16th cousins, twice removed, according to website Ancestry.com. Cumberbatch and “Sherlock” returned for 3 new episodes beginning last night. With the Brit actor rocketing to movie stardom, it’s likely to be his last time in the character.
– Canoe.com
★ And actor Bill Murray is planning to open a “Caddyshack”-themed bar near Chicago. This would be the 2nd establishment in this wacky golf-themed chain owned by Murray and his brothers. A Murray Bros Caddyshack Bar & Grill first opened in St Augustine FL in 2001.The new bar is being located within the Crowne Plaza hotel in Rosemont IL. Blueprints for the restaurant have to be submitted for village review before construction can begin. It’s unknown how soon that might occur. Will ‘Carl Spackler’ himself (Bill Murray’s “Caddyshack” character) drop in for the grand opening?
– “Daily Herald”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Bachelor” (ABC) – Season 21 premiere as Nick Viall starts his journey to find love.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Rap pioneers Sugar Hill Gang (“Rapper’s Delight: The Best of Sugarhill Gang”). Rerun.
• “Ellen” (syndicated/CTV2) – Maroon 5 performs “Don’t Wanna Know”. Rerun.
• “iHeartRadio Music Festival – Night Two” (CW) – Highlights of the event in Las Vegas; Ryan Seacrest hosts; performers include Usher and Sting. Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Broncho (“Double Vanity”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – Hey Violet (“Brand New Moves”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Miranda Lambert (“The Weight of These Wings”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – REM’s Michael Stipe. Rerun.
• “MasterChef Celebrity Showdown” (FOX) – Celebrities and past “MasterChef” contestants take part in a culinary showdown to win money for charity.
• “The New Celebrity Apprentice” (NBC) – What’s ‘new’ is host Arnold Schwarzenegger taking over for the US president-elect. In this Season 15 debut, celebrity contestants are divided into male and female teams.
• Palm Springs International Film Festival (Palm Springs CA) – “La La Land” is being honored with the ‘Vanguard Award’. The movie’s director, Damien Chazelle, and stars Emma Stone & Ryan Gosling are fêted at tonight’s gala at the Palm Springs Convention Center. Actress Amy Adams (“Arrival”) receives the ‘Chairman’s Award’. The fest reels through January 16th.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Childish Gambino (“Awaken, My Love!”). Rerun.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Common (“Black America Again”). Rerun.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Garth Brooks – He holds 4 of the top 7 spots on tomorrow’s new ‘Billboard Top Country Albums’ chart, including #1 with “The Ultimate Collection”.
• George Michael – His estate has been valued at $125 million, but that number looks likely to increase. Both his solo work and his back catalogue with Wham! are seeing a surge in popularity. The posthumous increase in interest could add up to $10 million to Michael’s estate over the next 2 years. It’s thought the bulk of the estate will go to George’s older sister.
• Kacey Musgraves – She’s engaged to get married. Musician Ruston Kelly popped the question at Musgraves’ parents house in the room where she grew up. Quote: “I didn’t say yes … I said hell yessss!!”
• Kelsea Ballerini – She’s also become engaged, to Australian country singer Morgan Evans. She made the announcement on social media. Quote: “I get to marry my Aussie. My heart is bursting from loving this human so much. Luckiest girl in the world.”
• Mariah Carey – Performing at NYC’s Times Square for “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve”, she strolled out in a glittering body suit to some seemingly ‘off’ music. She seemed uncomfortable from the start, adjusting her mike, flicking her hair, and refusing to sing. Some are calling it a ‘disastrous’ performance.

MAL MOTS:
On Saturday, Michigan’s Lake Superior State University released its 42nd annual ‘List of Words Banished From the Queen’s English for Misuse, Overuse & General Uselessness’. This year’s tongue-in-cheek, unofficial list includes …
• ‘Town Hall Meeting’ … What is touted as one on TV is nothing like the real deal.
• ‘Bigly’ … An archaic adverb or adjective dating to around 1400.
• ‘Listicle’ … A written submission that is basically just a list (like this piece you’re reading).
• ‘Ghost’ … To leave without saying goodbye.
• ‘Get Your Dandruff up’ … A bastardization of the old expression ‘get your dander up’.
• ‘Frankenfruit’ … Genetically-altered fruit.
• ”Guesstimate’ … As opposed to an ‘estimate’ based on fact, this is just a shot in the dark.
• ‘Dadbod’ … Basically meaning potbellied.
• ‘Selfie Drone’ … A new way to take even more narcissistic photos … from over there.
• ‘Post-Truth’ … A term sometimes used to describe the current political climate.
• ‘831’ … A texting encryption of ‘I love you’ (8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning).
• ‘Echo Chamber’ …A person who obsequiously agrees with everything another person says.
– AP

PERFECT POSITION:
It seems the old saying about waking up on the wrong side of the bed can be true. According to a UK-based survey of 3,000 adults, those who sleep on the left side of a bed are better off in several ways than their right-side partners. A few poll highlights …
• 66% of those who doze on the left reckon they are calmer than their partner in a crisis.
• 31% of left-siders claim they love their jobs, compared to only 18% of righties.
• 26% of those who snooze on the left say they have a ‘really positive outlook on life’, compared to just 18% of right-side sleepers.
But it’s not all bad for right-siders … they tend to earn more than their left-side partners. (Presumably we’re talking what is the ‘left side’ when you’re lying in the sack.)
– “Daily Mail”

HOT JOBS 2017:
A new ranking of recent job postings that have gone unfilled for more than 30 days …
1. Barbers
2. Power Distributors & Dispatchers
3. Pile-Driver Operators
4. Tax Preparers
5. Electric Motor, Power Tool, and Related Repairers
6. Vocational Education Teachers, Post-Secondary
7. Cargo & Freight Agents
8. Tire Repairers & Changers
9. Pharmacy Technicians
10. Veterinarians
Other jobs on the list included Skin Care Specialists, Massage Therapists, and Aerospace Engineers.
– FastCompany.com

DID YOU KNOW?
‘Losar’ is the Tibetan word for New Year, and the Tibetan New Year is celebrated for 15 days. Traditions include the consumption of a special fermented drink called chhaang, the eating of special noodles, special dances in costumes, and on the last day, preparation and cleaning for the new year and the Dali Lama offers a sacrificial cake in the main temple.
– List25.com

BS CHRONOMETER 01.02.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1968 [49] Cuba Gooding Jr, NYC, movie actor (“The Butler”, “Jerry Maguire”)

1971 [46] Taye Diggs, Newark NJ, TV actor (“Murder In the First” 2014-16, “Private Practice” 2007-13)/movie actor (“The Best Man Holiday”)/Broadway actor (“Rent”)

1975 [42] Dax Shepard, Milford MI, TV actor (“Parenthood” 2010-15)/movie actor (“Knocked Up”)/wed to actress Kristen Bell since 2013

1983 [34] Kate Bosworth, Los Angeles CA, TV actress (“The Art of More” 2015-16)/movie actress (“Heist”, “Blue Crush”)

1993 [24] Bryson Tiller, Louisville KY, R&B/hip hop artist (“Don’t”, “Exchange”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cream Puff Day”, honoring the baked puff pastry shells stuffed with a sweet and rich filling. The first originated in Europe sometime during the 1540s when Catherine de Medici’s pastry chef created them for her husband, France’s Henry II.

• “Happy Mew Year”, because cats insist on holidays all their own.

• “Motivation & Inspiration Day”. You’re going to need some in order to keep that New Year’s resolution!

• “Personal Trainer Awareness Day”, honoring the folks that make it easier to achieve the most common New Year’s resolution … to lose weight and maintain a permanent healthy lifestyle.

• “Pet Travel & Safety Day”, reminding you to use common sense while driving or otherwise traveling with pets. (Bad ideas: dog licking driver’s nose; cat on resting on driver’s head; gerbil running wild on the floor mat.)

• “Thank God It’s Monday Day”, celebrating all the great things that happen on Mondays. Things like new jobs; new promotions; new week; new resolutions; birthdays; and all those other things that give you reason to celebrate.

• “Weigh-In Day”, when many plan to kick off their resolution to lose weight on the first day back at work in the New Year.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2010 [07] Kesha’s first single “TiK ToK” hits #1, where it stays for 9 weeks (longest-running chart-topper of the year)

2016 [01] Adele is #1 internationally with her 3rd studio album “25”, after breaking first-week sales records in multiple countries

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2008 [09] Oil reaches $100 per barrel for the first time (today it’s just over $50)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2009 [08] A rare, unrestored 1937 Bugatti Type 57S Atalante Coupe is found in the garage of English surgeon Harold Carr, who’d died 2 years previously (a month later, it sells at auction in Paris for a whopping $4.4 million … thereby thrilling his heirs)

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[Jan 3] Drinking Straw Day / Chocolate Covered Cherry Day
[Jan 4] Trivia Day / World Braille Day / World Hypnotism Day
[Jan 5] Bird Day / Consumer Electronics Show 2017 begins (Las Vegas NV)
[Jan 6] “Underworld: Blood Wars” opens in movie theaters / Epiphany or Twelfth Night / Technology Day / Three Kings Day
[Jan 7] “David Bowie: The Last Five Years” debuts (BBC 2) / Fruitcake Toss Day / I’m Not Going to Take it Anymore Day / International Programmers Day / Orthodox Christmas / Bobblehead Day / Tempura Day
[Jan 8] “Golden Globe Awards” (NBC/CTV) / Bubble Bath Day / English Toffee Day / Midwives Day / No Pants Subway Ride / War on Poverty Day
[Jan 9] Law Enforcement Appreciation Day / Clean Off Your Desk Day / Static Electricity Day
[Jan 10] Cut Your Energy Costs Day
[Jan 11] Human Trafficking Awareness Day
[Jan 12] Full ‘Wolf’ Moon / Kiss a Ginger Day / Hot Tea Day
[Jan 13] “Monster Trucks”; “Sleepless” open in movie theaters / Make Your Dream Come True Day / Sticker Day / Public Radio Broadcasting Day
[Jan 14] Caesarean Section Day / Eagle Day / International Kite Day / Dress Up Your Pet Day
[Jan 15] Humanitarian Day / World Religion Day
[Jan 16] Martin Luther King Day (USA) / Civil Service Day / Fig Newton Day
[Jan 17] Chili Days / International Mentoring Day / Kid Inventors Day / Bootleggers Day / Rid the World of Fad Diets & Gimmicks Day
[Jan 18] “People’s Choice Awards” (CBS/Global) / Winnie the Pooh Day / Thesaurus Day
[Jan 19] Popcorn Day / Tin Can Day / World Day of Migrants & Refugees
[Jan 20] “The Founder”; Split”; “xXx: Return of Xander Cage” open in movie theaters / Inauguration Day (USA) / International Fetish Day / Cheese Lovers Day / Penguin Awareness Day / Women’s Healthy Weight Day
[Jan 21] Hugging Day / Squirrel Appreciation Day
[Jan 22] Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day / Celebration of Life Day
[Jan 23] Handwriting Day / Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day
[Jan 24] Belly Laugh Day / Beer Can Day / Phone Recycling Day / Compliment Day / Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day
[Jan 25] Irish Coffee Day / Opposite Day / Robert Burns Day
[Jan 26] Dental Drill Appreciation Day / Peanut Brittle Day
[Jan 27] “Bastards”; “Resident Evil: The Final Chapter” open in movie theaters / Fun at Work Day / Holocaust Memorial Day / Pre-school Fitness Day / Thomas Crapper Day
[Jan 28] Chinese New Year / Data Privacy Day / Kazoo Day / Seed Swap Day
[Jan 29] Curmudgeons Day / Puzzle Day / Seeing Eye Dog Day / World Leprosy Day
[Jan 30] Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day / Croissant Day / Inane Voicemail Message Day
[Jan 31] Inspire Your Heart with Art Day / Street Children Day

BULL’S BITS

BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 24 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
MOST-RETURNED BS GIFT ITEMS:
• ‘The Wonderbra for Dads’
• ‘Super-Duper Eye Gouger’ from Mattel
• Pancake Syrup from ‘Ebola Farms’
• The Sunbeam ‘6-Slice Shower Toaster’
• Black & Decker ‘Forehead Sander’
• ‘Bag of Live Mice’
• ‘Giant Cow-Ass Jeans’ from Levi’s
– First published in “BS” 1999.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS:
• “I’ll get a world record for this!”
• “Let me just reach in and get your watch out of the printing press.”
• “Don’t worry, it’s fireproof.”
• “So what does this button do?”
• “Halt! I’m making a citizen’s arrest!”
• “So you’re a cannibal, huh?”
• “Are you sure the power’s off?”
– First published in “BS” 2002.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ If you could personally witness one event in history, which would you want to see?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: More dog owners name their pets after THIS food than any other.
Answer: Oreo.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That’s not a weakness, that’s life.

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Mark St John @ 102.5 The Shark [WERX] Columbia NC; Angelina Case @ 96.9 The Breeze [KQBZ] Brownwood TX; Aaron Tamayo @ Star 101 FM [KNUT] Tamuming, Guam; Colin @ 2NURFM [Newcastle University Radio] Newcastle, Australia; Mustang Campbell @ KDSS 92.7 Ely NV; Kirk Haight @ 96.9 The Eagle [KKGL] Boise ID; and Chase Robinson @ The Fox [WFZX] Oxford AL.