Monday, September 12, 2005 Edition: #3113
Deja Moo!
WEEKEND TABLOID BS:
• SATURDAY “Brokeback Mountain” won the top prize, the ‘Golden Lion’, at the “Venice Film Festival”. Directed by Ang Lee, the pic stars Heath Ledger & Jake Gyllenhaal as cowboys who begin a forbidden love affair.
– “E!”
• Fashion queen Donatella Versace reportedly has thrilled Britney Spears by offering to create an entire designer wardrobe for her unborn baby – for free. The call reportedly came out of the blue to an astonished Spears who’s now hoping her baby will be the trendiest since Madonna’s daughter, Lourdes.
– “The Sun” / “Daily Dish”
• George Clooney has apparently offered his Italian villa on Lake Como as a location for Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie to wed and they are said to be seriously considering it. First though, Pitt must wait for his divorce from Jennifer Aniston to become final in OCTOBER.
– “Star Magazine”
• Oscar-winner Jamie Foxx erupted on the set of his new movie “Miami Vice” after learning of a racist prank played on his stand-in. The “Ray” star insisted 2 insensitive crew members be dismissed after they approached David Brown holding nooses, suggesting that he & Foxx were heading for a KKK-style lynching. Publicists for the movie confirm the incident took place but refuse to comment further.
– “National Enquirer”
• Original “Survivor” champ Richard Hatch has been indicted on 10 counts of tax evasion and fraudulently using charitable donations to hide personal expenses. He’s also accused of failing report to the $1 million prize he won on the show in 2001. He could have avoided some of the mess had he not reneged on a JANUARY plea agreement calling for him to cop to a pair of counts of felony tax evasion.
– “The Smokling Gun” / “E!”
• It’s been almost 2 years since Siegfried & Roy’s legendary magic show ended after ‘Montecore’ the white tiger tore out Roy’s throat live on-stage in Vegas. Miraculously, Roy is still alive and has been undergoing rehab in a German clinic THIS SUMMER. He recently returned to The Mirage for the first time since the accident, making a surprise appearance at a Seal concert during which he shocked the crowd by standing up out of his wheelchair for the first time. Word has it a stage musical based on Siegfried & Roy is coming to London.
– PopBitch.com
• Oscar-winning filmmaker Michael Moore is said to be seriously considering turning the events surrounding Hurricane Katrina into a documentary. A source says it has all the elements that made “Fahrenheit 911″ such a powerful film – ‘political outrage, human suffering and incredible footage’.
– “NY Daily News” / “MSNBC Scoop”
• And in case you’re keeping score, word has it that Nicole Richie (“The Simple Life”), Paris Hilton’s former ‘BG’ (Best Girlfriend), is now best friends with Mischa Barton (“The OC”). Meow.
– “Life & Style Weekly”
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Beatles – Liverpool UK city council has approved the demolition of the childhood home of Ringo Starr, despite protests from opponents of a redevelopment plan.
• Coldplay – Chris Martin has recorded a new version of “How You See The World” for the latest War Child charity album out THIS WEEK.
NET: http://www.warchildmusic.com
• Kanye West – He’s set to follow in the footsteps of Diddy, Gwen Stefani & Jay-Z by launching his own clothing line NEXT SPRING.
• Kelly Clarkson – She’s postponed THIS WEEK’S scheduled concerts in Las Vegas, Reno NV and Spokane WA due to bronchitis.
• Rolling Stones – Charlie Watts’ throat cancer scare almost stopped “A Bigger Bang” before it started. Mick Jagger says the whole tour would have been cancelled had Watts not been assured he has a 90% chance of being completely cured.
• Simple Plan – FRIDAY night lead singer Pierre Bouvier was hit in the face by a water bottle while performing at the “Ovation Music Festival” in Stratford ON. He had to leave the stage about 45 minutes into the set to be taken to hospital for stitches.
• Tori Amos – TONIGHT she’s on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• U2 – TONIGHT their “Vertigo” tour returns to North America at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto, then runs about 40 dates before wrapping DECEMBER 19th in Portland OR.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SCHED:
• TODAY Martha Stewart’s new syndicated daytime show “Martha” premieres. What to expect: Cooking tips, gardening how-tos, and a humbler Stewart willing to poke fun at herself. And if that isn’t enough, her version of “The Apprentice” premieres SEPTEMBER 21st on NBC-TV.
• TONIGHT “ET Canada” debuts on Global TV, featuring Cheryl Hickey & former MuchMusic VJ Rick Campanelli, on the 25th anniversary of the “Entertainment Tonight” show biz news program.
• TONIGHT Canadian country star Paul Brandt hosts the “CCMA Awards” from Calgary’s Pengrowth Saddledome. Brandt and The Road Hammers lead nominations with 6 apiece. Brandt, George Canyon, Terri Clark, Carolyn Dawn Johnson & Jason McCoy compete for the ‘Fan’s Choice Award’.
• TONIGHT the 1-hour documentary “Terry Fox Remembered” airs on CHUM Television’s A-Channels across Canada. It’s been 25 years since Fox initiated the “Marathon of Hope” to raise funds for cancer research.
IT’LL BITE YOUR FAT ASS IF YOU OPEN THE FRIDGE:
Robotics engineers at MIT are creating a robot guard dog to help you stay on your diet. The hi-tech hound will be wirelessly connected to your weigh scales, pedometer and an electronic diary of your eating habits and exercise routine. It will then crunch the numbers and let you know when its time to say ‘no’ to that next slice of cheesecake and get back on the treadmill.
– “New Scientist”
CONSPIRACY THEORY:
Pocatello, Idaho meteorologist Scott Stevens claims the Japanese Yakuza mob caused Hurricane Katrina by using electromagnetic generators from ground-based microwave transmitters. After he looked at NASA satellite photos of the storm, Stevens became convinced it was the result of storm-creating technology invented back in 1976 by the Russians. The technology was apparently sold to several others in the late ‘80s. So why would the Yakuza want to create a hurricane? According to this wacko weatherman, it was to get even with the US for bombing Hiroshima during WW2 and to make a fortune in the futures market.
– “Fortean Times”
SUICIDE NOTE:
Late ‘Gonzo’ journalist Hunter S Thompson’s suicide note is being published. The note reads: “No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun – for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax – This won’t hurt.” The author shot himself in FEBRUARY.
– “Rolling Stone”
CATS RULE, DOGS DROOL:
According to a Harvard U study, cats really are smarter than dogs. The research using the standard human IQ scale found that cats rated an average IQ of 7.2 while dogs rate just 5.3.
– “Focus”
THESE REALLY SUCK:
A 2-day conference is being staged by a board of medical advisors to draw up regulations on how to safely grow, transport and sell – leeches and maggots to surgeons. After centuries of neglect, flesh-eating maggots and blood-sucking leeches have made a comeback and are being used frequently by today’s hi-tech surgeons. Leeches, you see, are excellent at draining excess blood from reattached or transplanted appendages. And maggots are unparalleled in their ability to clean festering, gangrenous wounds.
– “NY Times”
GARFIELD LIVES!
A big fat Russian cat which is likely the ‘Heaviest Cat in the World’ will miss her chance to enter the “Guinness Book of World Records”. A spokesperson from Guinness explains that heavy pet records will no longer be published because they may encourage people to overfeed animals just for the sake of publicity. For the ‘unofficial’ record then, ‘Katy’, the 5-year-old Siamese weighs circa 50 lbs – more than the average 6-year-old boy – as a result of being fed hormones to stop her from mating. Katy now has absolutely no interest in males – she only cares about food.
– BBC World News
“WEEKLY WORLD NEWS HEADLINES:
• “Powerful Earthquake Will Leave California Standing … But Plunge the Rest of the Country into the Ocean!”
• “Strip Clubs Spray Air with Sex Drug to Make Men Spend More Money!”
• “Oops! Drugstore Confuses Super Glue with Hemorrhoid Cream!”
• “Man-Horses Threaten the World!”
• “Chinese Admit: ‘We Can’t Tell Each Other Apart, Either!’”
BS AMAZING FACT:
When Israeli settlers were moved out of the Gaza Strip many pets got left behind, including 17 goats, 20 dogs, 40 parakeets, plus oodles of chickens, cats … and an iguana.
THE BULL SHEET 09.12.2K5
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1931 [74] George Jones (aka ‘Possum’), Saratoga TX, country legend (“He Stopped Lovin’ Her Today”) with over 150 charted singles during 50-year career/Country Music Hall of Fame (1992)
1931 [74] Ian Holm, Goodmayes UK, movie actor (‘Bilbo Baggins’ in “Lord of the Rings”)
1952 [53] Neil Peart, Hamilton ON, classic rock drummer (Rush-“Vapor Trails”)
1966 [39] Ben Folds, Winston-Salem NC, pop singer (Ben Folds Five-“Brick”)
1972 [33] Liam Gallagher, Burnage UK, rock singer (Oasis-“Champagne Supernova”)
1973 [32] Paul Walker, Glendale CA, movie actor (“The Fast & the Furious”)
1978 [27] Ruben Studdard, Birmingham AL, “American Idol 2″ winner (“Flying Without Wings”)
1978 [27] Benjamin McKenzie, Austin TX, TV actor (‘Ryan Atwood’ on “The OC” since 2003)
1980 [25] Yao Ming, Shanghai, China, 7 foot-6 inch NBA center (Houston Rockets)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “National Boss/Employee Exchange Day”, when employers and employees are supposed to trade places to develop better understanding of one another. Does this mean you can fire her/him?
TODAY is “International Video Games Day”, a day for kids who love ’em to celebrate and thank the parents who fork out the cash for an X-Box or PlayStation.
TODAY is “Respect for the Aged Day” in Japan, where the number of people living past the age of 100 is increasing dramatically. The current number of Japanese centenarians has climbed near 20,000 from just over 150 back in 1969.
TODAY is “Chocolate Milkshake Day”. Kelis’ is better than yours.
THIS WEEK is “International Housekeepers Week”, honoring the efforts of all household staff. So be sure to give your servants an extra day off.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1983 [22] Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes a US citizen, 14 years after emigrating from Austria
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2003 [02] Music icon Johnny Cash dies at age 71 of heart failure at Nashville’s Baptist Hospital, stemming from complications from diabetes
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1994 [11] Mosaic Communications introduces ‘Netscape’, the 1st Internet browser
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1983 [22] Albert Rizzo of Malta sets ‘World Treading Water Record’ at 108 hours, 9 minutes in
the ocean (that’s 4.5 days!)
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Positive Thinking Day
[Tues] 2005 World Music Awards telecast [LA]
[Tues] Computer Programmers Day
[Wed] International Cross-Culture Day
[Wed] Pregnant Women’s Day
[Thurs] “Survivor: Guatemala” debuts
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Assisted Living Week / Habitat for Humanity Week / Emergency Preparedness Week / Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness / No Bully Week / Love a Mensch Week / Substitute Teacher Appreciation Week
BULL’S BITS . . .
BS SIGNS A GUY IS INTERESTED IN YOU:
Common body poses that show interest from a male, according to behaviorist David Lewis …
• He strokes his jaw line as he looks at you.
• He tries to make eye contact with you in a relaxed friendly manner.
• He plays with a cylindrical object such as a glass or a pen while he’s speaking with you.
• He massages his outer thigh while you’re with him.
• He makes preening gestures, such as adjusting his clothing or smoothing his hair.
• He narrows his eyes while you’re speaking to him.
• He hooks his thumbs into his belt in a cowpoke pose that’s meant to look more manly.
BS BRAIN STRAIN:
Q: In 1980, 75% of all households had one of these in the kitchen. Now, 25 years later, you can’t find one anywhere … other than in a thrift store. What is it?
A: The hot air popcorn popper, which became obsolete as microwave popcorn became popular.
BS WEB GOODIE:
If watching the movie “The Exorcism of Emily Rose” on the weekend just wasn’t scary enough for you, here’s an actual recording of a real exorcism being conducted in Russia. It comes with this warning: “Do not listen if you are easily upset or disturbed by such things. Although there is no foul language, in English anyway, the sounds may be disturbing to some.”
NET: http://paranormal.about.com/library/bl_exorcism_recording.htm
BS BLATANT JOKE:
• Who cares about ‘Caller ID’? What we could really use is ‘Caller IQ’.
• There are now over 6 billion people on Earth … women should receive showers for NOT having babies.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Even more than Mondays and tax day, THIS is the day most adults say they dread most.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: The day of a dental appointment.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
When you don’t return a call, people get the message.
CONGRATS!
“BS” salutes subscriber Jackie Rae Greening & the late, great Wes Montgomery @ CFCW Edmonton, winners of the 2005 CCMA ‘On-Air Personality of the Year-Major Market’.
ON OUR SHEET LIST:
A tip of the Bull’s horns to Chuck & Kelly @ B95.5 [WYJB] Albany NY who’ve re-upped for their 10th year of “BS”; Jon Wiles @ 98.1 FM [CKBW] Bridgewater NS (where actor Donald Sutherland got his start) is also back for another year; and welcome to samplers this week that include Alexey Yakovenko, Playa Del Rey CA; Candace Woodside @ C102 [CJRW] Summerside PEI; Kedrick Johnson @ KFAT Anchorage AK; Theresa Farley @ KIKO Miami AZ; and Adam Mac @ Classic Rock 102 5 Deniliquin, Australia. Remember BSers, we bonus you ONE FREE MONTH for each and every new subscriber you refer!
