September 19, 2000 Hey, who threw shrimp on the Olympic flame? Edition: #1892
This is “National Singles Week”, recognizing the single lifestyle and promoting the option of living alone. So here’s some . . .
BS PERKS OF BEING SINGLE:
• The last cold beer is always yours.
• Sleeping diagonally.
• You can use up all the hot water in the shower.
• If you win a trip for two to Hawaii, you can go twice!
• There’s no conflict if you fall in love with someone else.
• None of those annoying demands for yucky sex.
(Ask listeners for other advantages of being single.)
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Madonna’s 8th album, “Music”, hits stores TODAY . . . Emmy-winning James Gandolfini has just renegotiated his contract to the tune of $10 million for 2 more seasons on “The Sopranos” (are you gonna say no to this guy?) . . . We’ll soon be seeing a whole LOT more of wrestling star Chyna – in the WWF’s first-ever workout video, in her upcoming autobiography, and in a nude photo spread in the NOVEMBER “Playboy” (who woulda thought guys’d be salivating over a naked wrestler?) . . . Meg Ryan and Russell Crowe are apparently ON again with British tabs full of new pics of them smoochin’ up a storm (the future ‘Mrs Gladiator’?) . . . In what may be the largest-ever CD release, Pearl Jam is putting out a 50 CD set including EVERY performance from their summer tour of Europe (saves on all that boring editing).
TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Sandra Bullock plays a big-city newspaper columnist who’s forced to enter a drug and alcohol rehab center after stealing a limousine and crashing it into a house in “28 Days” . . . A group of white high school teens become involved with Harlem’s black hip-hop crowd in “Black and White”, starring Robert Downey Jr and Scott Caan . . . Two slacker wrestling fans are devastated by the ousting of their favorite grappler and decide to track him down and whip him into shape in “Ready to Rumble”, starring David Arquette.
IF YOU CAN’T JOIN ‘EM, LICK ‘EM:
Australia Post is celebrating each of the host country’s Olympic golds by issuing a commemorative stamp the day after the medal is won. The stamps feature pics of the gold medalist either during the event or on the medals podium. “Thorpedo” stamps are already available. (Girls are going googly over his size 17 feet – so THAT’S how he got the nickname!)
THE GLOVE’S ALRIGHT:
The official Vatican newspaper says it is now permissible for Catholics to use condoms, but ONLY as a measure to contain the spread of the AIDS virus. (You can have sex, just don’t enjoy it OK?)
NO MORE FILLING UP THE LITTLE CUP:
By the 2012 Olympics, researchers say genetic engineering could make the illegal use of steroids in sport a thing of the past. Howzat? By then, they say, athletes could be injecting DNA to enhance performance — something that would be extremely difficult to detect. (In related news, geneticists are asking for permission to dig up Jesse Owens.)
THE BULL SHEET 09.19.00
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1924 [76] Don Harron, Toronto ON, actor (‘Charlie Farquharson’)/playwright (“Anne of Green Gables”)
1948 [52] Jeremy Irons, Cowes ENG, film actor (“Die Hard: With a Vengeance”, Oscar-“Reversal of Fortune”)
1951 [49] Daniel Lanois, Hull PQ, music producer (U2, Peter Gabriel)/rock singer/songwriter (“Sling Blade” soundtrack, “The Maker”)
1964 [36] Trisha Yearwood, Monticello GA, country star (“You’re Where I Belong”, “There Goes My Baby”)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
This is “National Dog Week”. A new study shows that men who are crazy about dogs make better fathers. The research shows that dog lovers exhibit more love for their children and spend more time with them.
This is also “National Farm Animals Awareness Week”. Every day, 6 million tons of manure hit the ground behind farm animals in North America. That’s enough manure to fill a creek 50 feet wide, 10 feet deep, 70 miles long!
ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1991 [09] “The Iceman,” most ancient human remains ever found, discovered in the Alps (it’s later determined to be just the Queen Mother who had fallen in a snowbank)
1999 [01] TV legal drama “Judging Amy” premieres, starring Amy Brenneman
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1649 [351] 1st tavern in Canada opens in Quebec City (and about 2am 1st husband gets yelled at for coming home late)
1994 [06] 1st episode of “ER” on NBC
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] National Vision Rehabilitation Day
[Thurs] Dress-Up Thursdays begin
[Fri] 1st Day of Autumn
Build A Better Image Week
National Chicken Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
TRUTH OR BS?
• More than 172,000 Canadian couples will marry this year.(True. Toaster sales will top 1 million.)
• Rubbing sage into your scalp can improve memory. (True, according to new research from Britain’s Middlesex University. But you smell like Thanksgiving dinner.)
• Neck ties were first worn in England. (BS. According to “Land O’ Useless Facts”, we can blame it on Croatia.)
• Left-handed people catch 3 times as many colds as righties. (True, says a new Harvard U study.)
• Laughing 100 times per day provides the same cardiovascular benefits as 10 minutes of rowing. (True, according to Stanford University research.)
• The Church of England is considering taking credit cards during offerings. (BS, but they ARE looking at installing ATMs in some churches!)
BS TAG LINE:
What is the difference between a golf ball and a ‘G spot’? A man will take 30 minutes to find a golf ball.