Tuesday, September 11, 2007        Edition: #3610
Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY residents of a neighborhood in NYC’s Lower East Side are holding a meeting to oppose a proposed ‘naughty yet sophisticated’ strip club called “Forty Deuce” that’s planned for the area, which would be partly financed by David Bowie & Sting (a petition against it has already gathered some 2,000 signatures) . . . Michael Jackson’s mother & 4 of his brothers have written an open letter that refutes media reports that the former King of Pop is battling an addiction to painkillers & booze (they got it all wrong – he’s not battling them at all!) . . . Producers of an off-Broadway show in NYC called “My First Time” are giving away free tickets to anyone who can prove that they are a virgin – a hypnotist will screen people in line to determine their status (now THERE’S a radio bit!) . . . The age of the supermodel is over, according to a one-time holder of that title, Claudia Schiffer, who believes models can no longer achieve the kind of global celebrity she, Cindy Crawford, Linda Evangelista & Naomi Campbell enjoyed in the ‘90s (sounds like someone’s just all pouty about being 37) . . . And host Jeff Probst reveals that the upcoming “Survivor China” (CBS/Global) will include visits to landmarks like the Great Wall of China, less food & more hunger for the show’s contestants, and the kidnapping of tribe members (premieres SEPTEMBER 20th).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bon Jovi – Jon Bon Jovi says he’s stunned the Rolling Stones have continued touring into their 60s. He promises to bow out before he’s too old. Uh dude, you’re 45 yourself.
• Christina Aguilera – Her pregnancy has been confirmed by blabbermouth Paris Hilton, who announced the news about her pal in a Vegas club.
• Destiny’s Child – Kelly Rowland says she was shocked when rumors began circulating that she was dead. She’s the latest to invent rumors about her own death in order to let us know she’s still kickin’.
• Garth Brooks – His new single “More Than a Memory” is the first song to ever debut at #1 on “Billboard’s” ‘Country Singles’ chart.
• Hank Williams Jr – LAST NIGHT he debuted his new version of the opening for ESPN’s “Monday Night Football”, with a new all-star band featuring Brian Setzer. It’s his 19th NFL season singing “All My Rowdy Friends Are Here on Monday Night”.
• Joe Nichols – He’s wed his 12-year girlfriend Heather Singleton in a private ceremony in Savannah GA. Apparently it’s also true on honeymoons … “Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off”.
• Sara Evans – A court filing by her estranged husband Craig Schelske (SHEL’-skee) asks her to state under oath whether she was romantically involved with nearly a dozen people, including Kenny Chesney, Richard Marx, former “Dancing With the Stars” partner Tony Dovolani, and various members of her band. A hearing in the case is set for SEPTEMBER 28th.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Biggest Loser 4” (NBC) – In the debut episode another herd of fat folk attempt to get fit by eating healthy and exercising. What a concept!
• 50 Cent – His long-delayed new album “Curtis” is finally released. Guest collaborators include Eminem, Akon, Justin Timberlake, Mary J Blige, Robin Thicke & Nicole Scherzinger (Pussycat Dolls). He’s promised in an interview that if Kanye West sells more records than him TODAY, he won’t put out anymore solo albums. TONIGHT he performs on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Kanye West – His new album “Graduation” is released. Includes samples from Elton John, Michael Jackson & Public Enemy. Collaborations include Ne-Yo, Jay-Z, John Legend & Chris Martin. Fans are encouraged to buy it or he’ll pitch another snit-fit.
• Kenny Chesney – His new album “Just Who I Am: Poets & Pirates” is released, which may outsell both of the above. He played for more than 2 hours with a 5-song encore during his concert in Atlanta over the weekend, featuring special guest Joe Walsh.
• “Live From the Astrodome” (CMT) – George Strait entertains in this concert special that was taped in Houston TX.
• Suzanne Vega – She’s on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• “What Perez Sez” (VH1) – Celebrity gossip blogger Perez Hilton debuts his first TV special which revolves around major pop culture events. In this first effort, Hilton offers recaps the winners and interviews celebs at the “MTV Video Music Awards“.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Away From Her” (Drama): Actress-turned-director Sarah Polley’s adaptation of celebrated author Alice Munro’s short story “The Bear Came Over the Mountain” stars Julie Christie, Olympia Dukakis & Gordon Pinsent. It revolves around a long-married couple grappling with the wife’s slide into Alzheimer’s disease. Shot in Hamilton, Kitchener, and Lake of Bays ON.
• “DOA: Dead or Alive” ( Action Adventure ): Based on the popular “Dead or Alive” video game series, this action flick focuses on a group of gorgeous, highly trained & scantily-clad female fighters. Stars Jaime Pressly (“My Name is Earl”); Australian actress/singer Holly Valance; and Toronto actress Sarah Carter (“Shark”). Shot in Thailand & China.
• “Even Money” ( Drama ): This interwoven story brings together 9 people who are all addicted to gambling. The ensemble cast includes Kim Basinger, Danny DeVito, Kelsey Grammar, Forest Whitaker, Ray Liotta & Nick Cannon. Debuted at the 2006 South-by-Southwest Film Festival.
• “Ten ’til Noon”  ( Crime Thriller ): Between 11:50 and 12:00 noon, a crime is committed. The film follows the lives of the 10 people who are all connected to it through the same 10 minute period. No-name cast.
• Also released TODAY: “Bones: Season 2”; “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee”; “Charmed: The Complete Series”; “The Graduate (40th Anniversary Edition)”; “Grey’s Anatomy: The Complete 3rd Season – Seriously Extended”; “Las Vegas: Season 4”; and “Tom & Jerry Spotlight Collection: Volumes 1-3”.

THE ORDER OF THINGS:
According to researchers at the University of Portsmouth, forcing a suspect to retell their story in reverse order makes it much easier to tell if they are lying. The tactic is called ‘cognitive load interviews’ and works on the premise that a subject trying to repeat a false version of events backwards would be far more likely to make mistakes. Unlike truth-tellers, liars tend to tell their stories in strict chronological order and diverting from that often proves too difficult. (“OK start again … from the end.”)
– Times Online
    
SHOULDN’T THAT BE ‘STAR-RUBLES’?
The opening of the 1st Starbucks in Russia marks the end of a 3-year battle with a trademark squatter who has prevented the company from using the name in that country. Starbucks has plans to open a further 20,000 coffee shops overseas, and with the opening of the Russian outlet, now operates in 43 countries. (All of them still wondering, “What the hell’s a vente?”)
– “GQ”

HERE’S A NEW WRINKLE:
NYC yoga instructor Annelise Hagen teaches several exercises designed to stretch and tone facial muscles. Her students practice moves including ‘Lion Face’, shoving out the tongue and rolling up the eyes; ‘Satchmo’, in which the cheeks are blown out Louis Armstrong-style; and ‘Marilyn’, in which glamorous kisses are blown to strengthen mouth muscles for full and firm lips. Just in case you can’t figure out how to make funny faces yourself, Hagen recently released a book, “The Yoga Face: Eliminate Wrinkles With the Ultimate Natural Facelift”. (Then there’s ‘Britney’ … where you don’t even bother moving your mouth.)
– Reuters

FACEBOOK EXPENSIVE:
Employees who use social networking site Facebook during work hours are costing companies millions in lost productivity. A new study finds that workers waste 232 million hours finding, viewing, and interacting with other people’s profiles every month. (And the side effect … hits on adult sites are way down, too.)
– PA News

CELLPHONES BAD, RUMOR GOOD:
Just 10 minutes of chatting on a cellphone is enough to trigger chemical changes in the brain that can increase the risk of cancer, scientists warn. A study by the Weizmann Institute of Science in Israel has shown that even low levels of radiation from handsets interfere with the process of cell division, which encourages the growth of tumors. Although the researchers have not yet found hard evidence cellphone signals are harmful, their findings suggest they may be. (So pass it on today … preferably to someone gabbing in a car or a theater or a store …)
– ANI

NEW BS GIZMOS & GADGETS:
• The Trabant, a 2-cylinder car that became the symbol of communist East Germany, is getting a new lease on life. Referred to as a ‘spark plug with a roof’ because of its small size, the boxy car has achieved cult status. Its German manufacturer, Herpa, says there’s been a new Beetle, and a new Mini … now it’s time for a new ‘Trabi’.
– “GQ”
• Scientists at Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico have developed a method of training honeybees to sniff out explosives, an advancement they say will protect troops and citizens at home and abroad. The bees have been trained to act as if sensing nectar when exposed to vapors from TNT, C4, and other explosives. They’re apparently to be carried in shoe-box size hand-held detectors around airports and other crowded areas requiring security.
– CBC News
• A new system that scans customers’ fingerprints and then deducts retail bills from their bank accounts has taken supermarkets by storm in southwestern Germany and is being picked up by hardware stores, school canteens, and even the country’s ubiquitous beer gardens. Almost a quarter of customers of the Edeka supermarket chain, the first retailer to use the system, now pay with their digits … the attached kind. (Unless it’s a mobster with a hand in his pocket.)
– AFP

BS AMAZING FACT:
The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles (56 km) long or write approximately 50,000 English words.
– World-English.org

AND WE QUOTE:
“Stop all this white-on-white violence.”
— Jamie Fox on the  Kid Rock/Tommy Lee fight at the “VMA”s. Kid Rock has been cited for misdemeanor assault and is scheduled for a court appearance NEXT MONTH.

BS CHRONOMETER 09.11.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [67] Brian DePalma, Newark NJ, movie director (“The Black Dahlia”, The Untouchables”)

1958 [49] Scott Patterson, Philadelphia PA, TV actor (‘Luke Danes’ on “Gilmore Girls” 2000-07)

1965 [42] Moby (Richard Melville Hall), NYC, techno/rock musician/producer (“18”, “South Side”)  FACTOID: His nickname is derived from his great-great granduncle Herman Melville, author of “Moby Dick”.

1967 [40] Harry Connick Jr, New Orleans LA, jazz/pop singer/composer (Grammy Awards-“When Harry Met Sally”, “We Are in Love”)/Broadway actor (“The Pajama Game”)/movie actor (“Independence Day”)/TV actor (“Will & Grace” 2002-06)

1977 [30] Jon Buckland, London UK, rock guitarist (Coldplay-“Talk”, “Clocks”)

1977 [30] Ludacris (Christopher Bridges), Champaign IL, rapper (f/Pharrell-“Money Maker”, f/Mary J Blige-“Grew Up a Screw Up”)/movie actor (“Hustle & Flow”, “Crash”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Boss/Employee Exchange Day”, when employers and employees are supposed to trade places to develop better understanding of one another. Does this mean you can fire her/him?

• “Honey, I Want to Start My Own Business Day”. (Tomorrow is “Get a Grip, Dreamer! We Got a Whack of Bills to Pay Day”.)

• “9-1-1 Day”, saluting the direct-dial emergency system. (In the UK it’s 9-9-9. In Australia it’s 0-0-0, aka the ‘forget-it-I’m-already-dead-because-I-still-have-a-rotary-phone system’.)

• “9/11 Remembrance Day”. 6 years ago at 8:46 am EDT, terrorists began the attack on NYC’s World Trade Center using hijacked commercial airliners. In the emotional aftermath, a US congressional vote requested the day be observed annually as “Patriot Day”, a  resolution which President Bush signed into law in December, 2001. The concept has never really caught on, perhaps because it’s misnamed? Being a victim of a horrific attack does not necessarily make one a patriot.

• “No News is Good News Day”, whose proponents claim if you don’t listen, read or watch any news for the day, you’ll feel better. (An annual observance from the ‘Head in the Sand Association’.)

• “Tricky Handshake Day”. Remember they only count if you spit on your hand first!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1966 [41] News magazine “W-Five” premieres on CTV (back when current co-host Lloyd Robertson was 32 … no BS!)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1996 [11] 1st recording by a major artist released exclusively on the Internet (David Bowie-“Telling Lies”)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1875 [132] 1st ‘Newspaper Comic Strip’ (“Professor Tigwissel’s Burglar Alarm” appears in “NY Daily”)

1935 [72] 1st ‘Demolition Derby’, at Yonkers Raceway NY (now we call it ‘morning commute’)

1946 [61] 1st ‘Car-to-Car Phone Conversation’ (as 1st idiot driver weaves all over the road)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Video Game Day
[Wed] Chocolate Milkshake Day
[Thurs] Computer Programmers Day
[Fri] International Cross-Culture Day
[Fri] Pregnant Women’s Day
This Week Is … Emergency Preparedness Week
This Month Is … National Impotence Month (are you up for it?)

BULL’S BITS

REAL BS BUMPER STICKERS:
• “Be Nice to America or We’ll Bring Democracy to Your Country!”
• “Fat People Are Hard to Kidnap”
• “You Looked Better on MySpace”
• “If You Can’t Enjoy Yourself Try to Enjoy Someone Else”
• “Don’t Worry What People Think … They Don’t Do It Very Often”
• “My Other Ride is Your Mom”
• “I’m Only Speeding Because I Really Have to Poop!”
• “This Vehicle is Protected by Anti-Theft Sticker”

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could fall asleep each night with your head resting upon anything other than your pillow, what would it be?

BS ‘BEAT THE TOASTER’:
Before the toaster pops in 15 seconds, name 5 …
• Excuses for coming home late.
• Foods that come in a box.
• Fashion mistakes that are glaringly obvious.
• Things you steal at work.
• Celebrities who’ve been in rehab.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Seniors don’t drive so bad. It’s just that they’re the only ones with the time to do the speed limit.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: This could and probably should get you fired, but 60% of workers admit they have done THIS on-the-job.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Tried to get even with the boss.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If you can gossip while you do it, it ain’t exercise.