Thursday, September 6, 2007        Edition: #3607
Bullseye!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Actress Gwyneth Paltrow & celebrity chef Mario Batali are teaming for a new PBS cooking show debuting in OCTOBER that will prepare & sample local delicacies from all over Spain (where Gwynie & her Coldplay hubby Chris Martin have a villa) . . . The entire family of “American Idol” alum Sanjaya Malakar is moving to LA from Washington state to be nearer the music industry, not just for him but also his more talented sister Shyamali, and their soon-to-be stepfather, Chad Quist, who’s a professional musician . . . Movie actor Jude Law has been arrested by Scotland Yard in London over an alleged attack on a photographer, but has since been bailed out of jail pending further investigation . . . Hollywood actress Nicole Kidman has revealed she was engaged to someone between her marriages to Tom Cruise and Keith Urban, but she won’t reveal who (Marilyn Manson?) . . . CBS-TV is determined to go ahead with plans to air the controversial reality show “Kid Nation” beginning SEPTEMBER 19th (wouldn’t wanna waste all that free publicity the controversy has created!) . . . According to a new study by “Screen Digest”, movie downloads will generate $720 million annually in North America by 2011, a figure that amounts to 18% of the Hollywood studios’ entire domestic gross over the past season (the times they are a-changin’) . . . Rob Zombie’s remake of “Halloween” has already made back double what it cost to make – in 1 week (if only “Evan Almighty” had done that!) . . . If 41-year-old actress Halle Berry’s expected baby is registered under her Canadian boyfriend Gabriel Aubrey’s name, it could have dual citizenship (but would still have to wait 7 hours to cross the border) . . . And it may be one of the most-watched videos in the history of YouTube, but the “Emmy Awards” people are refusing to show the Justin Timberlake-Andy Samberg video, “Dick in a Box”, unless the title is changed, something that Timberlake has already voiced strong opposition to (what’s the big deal? — it originally aired on “Saturday Night Live”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Carrie Underwood – She says she’s sick of being labeled a ‘party girl’ when it’s not even her fault … it’s just that photogs always seem to take her picture when she has a drink in her hand. Well, why would that be, hon’? She’s just livin’ the country star lifestyle.
• Keith Urban – He’s adding 20 more cities to the 2nd leg of his “Love, Pain & the Whole Crazy World Tour”, including Chicago, Columbus, Detroit, and Jacksonville.
• Lily Allen – The 22-year-old “LDN” singer had to leave the “GQ Men of the Year Awards” in London early because … she was too drunk to stay. That became obvious when she loudly chatted all the way through Madonna’s speech on-stage … then fell over.
• Madonna – She’s releasing 4 new installments in her children’s book series, “The English Roses”, later THIS MONTH.
• Pearl Jam – Eddie Vedder is creating the soundtrack for Sean Penn’s next effort as a director, writing and performing the music for the movie “Into the Wild”, based on the best-selling book by Jon Krakauer. The soundtrack comes out SEPTEMBER 18th.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Brad Paisley – The second leg of his “Bonfires & Amplifiers Tour” begins at the John Labatt Centre in London ON. Rodney Atkins & Taylor Swift are the support acts for the Fall leg.
• “Concert for Virginia Tech“ – Dave Matthews Band, John Mayer, Nas, and country singer Phil Vassar headline a free concert for students, faculty & staff  at the university’s Lane Stadium in honor of the 32 people killed in APRIL by a student gunman.
NET: http://www.vt.edu/concert/
• Enrique Iglesias – The Latin chart-topper is on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• “Fashion Rocks” – Jeremy Piven (“Entourage”) hosts the 4th annual concert celebrating the relationship between music & fashion at NYC’s Radio City Music Hall. Aerosmith, Alicia Keys w/Santana, Avril Lavigne, Carrie Underwood, Fall Out Boy, Fergie w/Ludacris, Jennifer Lopez, Martina McBride, and Mary J Blige w/Usher are among those scheduled to appear. The show will be taped for a 2-hour special that airs TOMORROW (CBS).
• Goo Goo Dolls – They’re on “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Kanye West – He’s on the “Today Show” (NBC).
• Kings Of Leon – They perform on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Maroon 5 – They guest on the “Early Show” (CBS).
• NFL Kickoff ‘07 – Faith Hill performs an adapted version of “Waiting All Day for Sunday Night” during the pre-game show for tonight’s kick-off NFL game, New Orleans Saints @ Indianapolis Colts. The opening theme to “NBC Sunday Night Football” was sung last season by Pink.
• Patti Scialfa – Mrs Springsteen continues her talk show tour promoting her new album “Play It As It Lays” on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC).
• Toronto International Film Festival – The 32nd edition of what is now the world’s 2nd-ranked annual film fest after Cannes reels through September 15th. Among the highlights: The world premiere of “Michael Clayton”, starring George Clooney; a gala presentation of “Rendition”, starring Reese Witherspoon; “In The Valley of Elah“ from Oscar-winning director Paul Haggis (“Crash”); “The Assassination of Jesse James”, starring Brad Pitt; and the ensemble Bob Dylan movie “I’m Not There”.
NET: http://www.tiff07.ca/

FUTURE FLICKS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Chilled in Miami” – Renée Zellweger & Harry Connick Jr are tipped to star in this fish-out-of-water romantic comedy about a Miami businesswoman who’s transferred to the snowy sticks of Minnesota. The film is scheduled to begin production in JANUARY in Winnipeg … where the odds of there being snow on the ground are about 110%.
• “Haunted High School” – That’s the working title for Disney’s 3rd installment in the “High School Musical” revenue stream. The major motion picture is scheduled to be released in movie theaters around Halloween, 2008. Most of the production’s current stars will not be back to reprise the roles they made famous. Instead an all out talent search will look for fresh faces.
• “The Informers” – This ensemble drama adapted from the Bret Easton Ellis novel is set in 1980s Los Angeles and follows 7 different storylines taking place during a week in the life of a movie executive (Billy Bob Thornton), his wife (Kim Basinger), his mistress, a rock star, a vampire (Brandon Routh), and a kidnapper. Filming is due to begin in OCTOBER.
• “The Reader” – In this bigscreen adaptation of the Bernhard Schlink novel, Nicole Kidman plays a successful palm reader in postwar Germany who finds herself romantically pursued by an arrogant photographer (Ralph Fiennes). She uses her special powers to find out if the guy’s worth the effort. Filming on the romantic comedy is slated to start in Berlin THIS MONTH for a 2008 release.

CURES FOR INSOMNIA:
People who spend more pre-bedtime hours online or watching TV are more likely to report that they don’t get enough sleep, even though they sleep almost as long as people with less screen-time. A new study of close to 6,000 people by Japan’s Osaka University finds that longer media use before bedtime seems to trigger a self-perceived notion of insufficient sleep. Fully 54% of heavy media users (more than 3 hours of screen-time before bed) claim to suffer from a lack of sleep even though few got less actual sleep than light users.
– “China Daily”

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:
A BS snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 63% of people say a teacher they once had changed their life for the better.
• 62% of parents say it’s easier to name a girl than a boy.
• 37% of people say they would want their pet to attend their wedding.
• 30% of laptop users admit they have stolen a wireless signal at least once.
• 25% of us admit we didn’t read a book even once in the last year.
• 20% of people are chronically late.

WHY HOLLYWOOD MARRIAGES FAIL:
According to a new study by University of Southern California psychologist John Blaine, exceptionally attractive people tend to have less stable and satisfying relationships than so-called ‘plain’ people. Why? People who make a living based on their looks are never satisfied with the physical appearance of their partners, always criticizing them and ogling other pretty people.
– AP

BS AMAZING FACT:
The world’s largest employer is now Wal-Mart stores with 1.9 million employees. Though numbers vary day-to-day, the retailer appears to have overtaken Indian Railways, which has a payroll of about 1.6 million.
– CNN

BS CHRONOMETER 09.06.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [64] Roger Waters, Cambridge UK, classic rock singer/bassist (Pink Floyd-“Another Brick in the Wall”)  FACTOID: Pink Floyd drummer Nick Mason is pleading with his feuding former bandmates David Gilmour & Roger Waters to patch up their differences because he wants the group to tour again as a complete band.

1957 [50] Joe Smyth, Portland ME, country musician (Sawyer Brown-“Drive Me Wild”, “Treat Her Right”)

1958 [49] Jeff Foxworthy, Atlanta GA, TV host (“Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” 2007)/TV comic (“Blue Collar TV” since 2004)/stand-up comedian (“You Might Be a Redneck”)

1963 [44] Mark Chesnutt, Beaumont TX, country singer (“She Was”, “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”)

1967 [40] Macy Gray (Natalie McIntyre), Canton OH, one-hit-wonder pop singer (“I Try”)  FACTOID: She’s launching her own plus-size fashion line entitled ‘Humps’, which will hit stores in early 2008.

1971 [36] Dolores O’Riordan, Ballybricken, Ireland, alt-rock singer (“Ordinary Day”, The Cranberries-“Linger”)

1976 [31] Naomie Harris, London UK, movie actress (“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”, “Miami Vice”)

1979 [28] Foxy Brown (Inga Marchand), Brooklyn NY, rapper (“Candy”) who’s made headlines for spitting on hotel clerks, smacking around a fan, assaulting manicure salon workers, shoplifting belts and, most recently, faking ID to police investigating her failure to stop at a stop sign and talking on the phone while driving.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Fight Procrastination Day – Do It! Day”, a backlash to YESTERDAY’s “Be Late For Something Day”.

• “Iguana Awareness Day”. Anyone who’s ever found one in a sleeping bag is really aware!

• “Read a Book Day”, one of the highlights of “International Literacy Week”. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphaghetti?
WORLD’S THINNEST BS BOOKS:
– “The Amish Phone Directory”
– “Bedouin Olympic Swimmers”
– “The Tourism Guide to Whitecourt, Alberta”
– “The Who’s Who of Most Popular Lawyers”
– “A Female’s Guide to Logical Thinking”
– “The Directory of Irish AA Members”
– “Proud Parents of Rock Musicians”

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1952 [55] Canada’s 1st television station, CBFT Montréal, begins broadcasting (2 days later, CBLT starts up in Toronto)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1997 [10] Millions watch worldwide on TV as Elton John sings “Candle in the Wind” at Princess Diana’s funeral in London’s Westminster Abbey

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1910 [97] ‘Regina (later Saskatchewan) Roughriders Football Club’ is formed

1977 [30] 1st Canadian highway signs go metric (confused Canadians begin driving 100 mph)

1927 [80] 1st ‘Harlem Globetrotters’ team formed

1959 [48] 1st ‘Barbie Doll’ sold by Mattel Toy Corporation

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1987 [20] Saskatchewan’s Dave Ridgway kicks CFL-record 60-yard field goal

1995 [12] Baltimore scalpers get $1000 a ticket to watch Cal Ripkin Jr break Lou Gehrig’s MLB ‘consecutive game record’ by playing in his 2,131st game (Camden Yards crowd cheers for 22 minutes, 15 seconds)

2000 [07] ‘Largest Gathering of World Leaders’ in history as more than 150 attend the “UN Millennium Summit” in NYC

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sat] International Literacy Day
[Sat-Sun]  Toronto Virgin Festival
[Sun] 24th MTV Video Music Awards (Las Vegas)
[Sun] 22nd Farm Aid (NYC)
[Sun] Grandparents Day
[Sun] Pet Memorial Day
[Mon] Canadian Country Music Awards (Regina)
[Mon] World Suicide Prevention Day
This Week Is … Waffle Week
This Month Is … Bed Check Month

BULL’S BITS

BS HORRIBLESCOPES:
Use ‘em all at once or one-by-one as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries: You will spend another full day attempting to shuffle a deck of cards with your toes. You never tire of the wild life, do you?
• Taurus: Several people, quite independently, will tell you moose jokes today or otherwise attempt to discuss moose with you. A subtle way of telling you that you’re having a bad hair day.
• Gemini: Science and nature converge this week. Unfortunately, it’s in your rectum.
• Cancer: This may be a good time to take up squid farming … provided you can figure out what type of hat to wear.
• Leo: Today chaos will ensue when you’re accidentally hit by a motorist just as a bus full of lawyers specializing in insurance claims is passing by on the way to a conference.
• Virgo: Soon you will take up bricklaying, just for ‘the thrill of it’.
• Libra: Your next fortune cookie will say “See? We told you it taste like chicken!”
• Scorpio: You will build a better mousetrap but nobody will beat a path to your door. However, several people will beat a path to your refrigerator.
• Sagittarius: You may be drinking a little too much coffee lately. That could explain why people are saying “What was THAT!?” in a verrrrry slow, deep voice every time you walk by.
• Capricorn: Another one of those excruciatingly boring meetings today. Try to liven things up by summoning one of your co-workers back from the dead.
• Aquarius: You will be granted a religious experience of startling significance, similar to the many accounts of statues of the Virgin Mary weeping. In this case, however, she will sneeze.
• Pisces: This is an excellent day to run a new metaphor up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is one event in the future whose outcome you would like to know now?

BS ‘FIND THE FAKE’:
2 of the following are actual stories from women’s magazines, the other a total fake. But which?
GAME #1 –
• “Jerk Alert! Men to Avoid at All Costs!”
• “21 OTHER Signs That He’s Happy to See You” [FAKE]
• “Can You Really Tell a Man By His Shoes?”
GAME # 2 –
• “The Way He Wears His Pants Reveals His Personality!” [FAKE]
• “15 Ways to Spot a Potential Mate”
• “He’s My Cousin, Can We Marry?”

BS WEB GOODIE:
A handy online countdown clock tallies the time left before we say so long to Dubya.
NET: http://bushslastday.com/

BS RANDOM JOKE:
There is very little in life that can’t be helped by 10 hours sleep and a bowel movement.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Studies show having THIS at work makes employees do a better job.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A sense of humor.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
For every generalization, there is an exception … except for this one.