Monday, April 14, 2008 Edition: #3753
We’ve Gone Bullistic!
WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• SATURDAY 59-year-old Ivana Trump wed her 35-year-old boyfriend of 6 years, Rossano Rubicondi, in a lavish ceremony in front of 500 friends & family at Mar-a-Lago, the Palm Beach FL estate of her ex-, Donald Trump. Her 4th wedding featured 25 bridesmaids, a 24-piece orchestra flown in from Paris, a 12-foot-high chocolate wedding cake, and a reported million-dollar ring. (We’re guessing Ross isn’t paying … he’s busy growing his first whisker.)
• Because of dismal ratings, CBS-TV has canceled “Secret Talents Of the Stars” – after just ONE episode. TUESDAY’s debut was ‘highlighted’ by country singer Clint Black doing stand-up comedy and former “Star Trek” actor George Takei attempting to sing Willie Nelson’s “On the Road Again”. Other contestants included actor Danny Bonaduce, singer Mya, and TV personality Ben Stein. (How could it flop with all that … er ‘talent’?)
– CMT News in Brief
• Britney Spears has no doubt added to her legal woes after reportedly causing a 3-car pile-up on LA’s Ventura Freeway SATURDAY night. Word has it she accidentally rear-ended another driver with her Mercedes, causing a chain reaction collision. No injuries were reported and no tickets were issued. (But you can bet the lawsuits are gonna fly any moment now.)
– E! Online News
• Even though Nicollette Sheridan recently laughed off reports she was about to be axed from “Desperate Housewives” (ABC), series creator Marc Cherry now says that her character will, in fact, end up departing by the end of this season. (After 4 years of similar hijinks and that gratingly annoying background music … maybe they should all go?)
• Michael C Hall, star of the serial killer show “Dexter” (Showtime) is in a rumored relationship with his TV sister, Jennifer Carpenter. Seems everyone’s favorite murderer has been spending lots of off-screen quality time with his little sis’. (He’s just an acting serial killer, but it’s still kinda creepy.)
• Victoria Beckham’s DVB fashion line has been dumped by 2 US store chains following complaints of poor sales and lack of promotional efforts such as in-store appearances. Reps for retailers Fred Segal and Kitson say Beckham simply doesn’t help sell her own products. (Pricing jeans over $200 might also have something to do with it, no?)
• LAST WEEK’s “Idol Gives Back” charity special was the 2nd-lowest rated “American Idol” telecast ever, following a 2005 ‘worst of’ audition special. Just 17.6 million viewers tuned in, down 35% from the 2007 telethon. (LAST YEAR’s show was advertised ahead of time as a regular results show, proving that begging and pleading isn’t all that popular.)
– “Hollywood Reporter”
• Heather Mills was booed by the audience when she was introduced as a judge at the “Miss USA” pageant THIS WEEKEND, but appeared unmoved during the telecast. It appears that Paul McCartney’s cold-blooded ex- has already gotten used to negative feedback. (50 mill in the bank goes a long way to backing up a screw-you ‘tude.)
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – Her performance at the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s annual “Costume Institute Gala” MAY 5th in NYC has been axed. Word has it she was to be paid a million-dollar fee. A spokesperson for the event suggests Amy was being considered but was never booked.
• George Strait – His 1992 movie, “Pure Country” (his first & last movie acting role), has inspired a Broadway musical expected to debut in the 2008-09 season. The music will be composed by Steve Dorff, who co-wrote the movie soundtrack’s #1 hits “I Cross My Heart” and “Heartland”.
• Miley Cyrus – She earned a reported $18 million LAST YEAR, according to newly listed figures from “Parade” magazine. Not far behind was late hotel queen Leona Helmsley’s Maltese dog, ‘Trouble’, who inherited $12 million to retain the lifestyle to which he’s accustomed. More numbers from the annual ‘What People Earn’ issue here …
• The Police – Sting has dropped $26.5 million on a NYC condo in a newly built building. (Thank-you reunion tour!)
• Snoop Dogg – He’s set to release an illustrated children’s book series entitled “Where’s the Cheese”, which will focus on urban lifestyles. (Book 1: “Where to Keep Your Piece”.)
• TI – He estimates his house arrest after pleading guilty to illegal weapons charges has cost him circa $12 million in missed business opportunities, including film roles and an endorsement deal with General Motors. (‘Busted’ has more than one meaning.)
• U2 – A group of African musicians are set to release the tribute album, “In the Name of Love: Africa Celebrates U2”, which will include 12 U2 tracks performed with an African flavor.
• Vanilla Ice – The 39-year-old ‘90s rapper (nee Robert Van Winkle) has been released from Palm Beach County FL jail after appearing in court on a charge of battery of his wife. He’s been ordered to have no more than phone contact with her until the court makes a final ruling.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “CMT Music Awards” (CMT) – Father-daughter duo Billy Ray & Miley Cyrus host country music’s only fan-voted award show live from Nashville. Performers include Alan Jackson, Brad Paisley, Brooks & Dunn, Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill, Keith Urban, Kenny Chesney, Rascal Flatts, Sugarland, Taylor Swift, Tim McGraw, and Toby Keith.
• “Canadian Screenwriting Awards” – The 2008 honors are hosted by “22 Minutes” regular Gavin Crawford in Toronto.
• “Can You Duet” (CMT) – The debut of a new weekly music competition from the producers of “American Idol” that searches for country music’s next great duo. Naomi Judd is among the judges.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Morrisey is a guest. He’ll no doubt rant on about how he’ll never perform in Canada due to the seal hunt. (A big issue in Saskatchewan.)
• “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC) – Auston TX indie rockers Spoon are on.
• New York Film Festival – As part of the closing festivities of the 45th film fest, the Film Society of Lincoln Center honors Oscar-winning actress Meryl Streep at its 35th annual ‘Gala Tribute’.
• “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated/CTV) – Mariah Carey is the self-possessed guest.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Ray J performs “Sexy Can I”.
Parents often complain about family or friends ‘spoiling’ their baby by picking it up and fussing over it as soon as it cries. But pediatrician Dr William Sears, author of more than 35 child-care books, claims it is impossible to ‘spoil’ a baby. In fact, he says, infants need to be responded to promptly in order to feel safe and grow attached to parents, especially in the first 4 months of life. (Spoiling: another misconception started by the ‘Too Much Love In the World’ movement.)
– “Babytalk Magazine”
PUZZLING PRICE OF PAIN RELIEF:
New research shows that pain relief may be partly based on perception. Duke University scientists tested the exact same placebo on scores of test subjects, giving half of them a brochure describing the pill as a newly-approved painkiller costing $2.50 per dose and the other half a brochure describing it as a cheap 10-cent generic drug. Guess what? 85% of those who took what they thought was the higher-priced pill reported positive benefits compared to 61% of those taking the ‘cheaper’ drug – even though both were ingesting the exact same fake product. (Goes to show you … pain is all in your head.)
– ABC News
THE RIGHT IDEA:
Courier company UPS has discovered that making right turns instead of left at intersections can help the environment. UPS engineer Tom Dowdy says the company has redesigned its routes so drivers make a minimum of left-hand turns. As a result, the company has shaved about 30 million miles (48 million km) off its deliveries, saving the cost of close to 3 million gallons (11 million liters) of gasoline. What makes right turns more energy-efficient? Vehicles aren’t stuck idling in traffic as much when turning right as opposed to left. (It’s the right thing to do!)
– “Parade Magazine“
SELF-TALK IS SOOTHING:
According to researchers at Nottingham Trent University in England, talking to yourself is actually good for the brain and your mental well-being. Studies have found that self-talk aids concentration, helps problem-solving, and relieves depressive moods. And a year-long study of more than 500 people suggests that talking to yourself ranks among the top 3 methods of coping with the daily commute to work. The others? Singing and humming. (No bird-flipping?)
– “Sunday Telegraph”
HE SAID IT:
“Our fans are between 25-and-35 now because they were really young then. They’re still very
attractive … and very legal.
– Joey McIntyre from New Kids On the Block, perhaps providing insight into why they feel it’s necessary to reunite for a tour.
DID YOU KNOW?
Major League Baseball’s Florida Marlins have a plus-size all-male cheerleading squad called ‘The Manatees’. Each member weighs between 225-and-435 lbs.
BS CHRONOMETER 04.14.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1935  Loretta Lynn (Webb), Butcher Hollow KY, country legend (“She’s Got You”, “Coal Miner’s Daughter”)/1st female winner of CMA ‘Entertainer of the Year’ award/Country Music Hall of Fame (1988)
1941  Julie Christie, Chabua, India, movie actress (“Away From Her”, “Finding Neverland”, 1966 Oscar-“Darling”)
1960  Brad Garrett (Gerstenfeld), Woodland Hills CA, TV actor (‘Eddie Stark’ on “’Til Death” since 2006, 2 Emmy Awards-“Everybody Loves Raymond” 1996-2005)
1971  Greg Zaun, Glendale CA, MLB catcher (Toronto Blue Jays)
1973  Adrien Brody, NYC, movie actor (“King Kong”, 2003 Oscar-“The Pianist”) COMING UP: Plays music recording pioneer Leonard Chess in the now-shooting “Cadillac Records”.
1977  Sarah Michelle Gellar, NYC, movie actress (“The Grudge 1 & 2”, “Scooby-Doo 1 & 2”)/ex-TV actress (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer” 1997-2003)/Mrs Freddie Prinze Jr since 2002
1980  Win Butler (Edwin Farnham Butler III), The Woodlands TX, rock singer (Arcade Fire-“Intervention”, “Keep the Car Running”)
1996  Abigail Breslin, NYC, movie actress (“Nim’s Island”, “Little Miss Sunshine”)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Moment of Laughter Day”, a day to take the time to experience the power of laughter.
• “Pan-American Day”, commemorating the first “International Conference of American States” in 1890.
• “Titanic Disaster Anniversary”. Shortly before midnight on April 14, 1912 the ship collided with an iceberg causing it to sink at 2:20 am on April 15th.
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1992  Billy Ray Cyrus releases his mega-hit single “Achy Breaky Heart” (eventually leads to a worldwide epidemic called ‘Miley’)
2000  Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich files a lawsuit against Napster, which eventually leads the movement against free music file-sharing programs
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1983  1st ‘Cordless Telephone’, capable of operating up to 600 ft from its base, introduced by Fidelity (thereby eliminating tangled up 25-ft-long coiled cords)
2003  Human Genome Project is successfully completed with 99% of the human genome sequenced to 99.99% accuracy (in case you ever want to ‘DIY’ a baby from parts)
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1924  ‘World Record Snowfall’ in 24 hours of 6-ft, 4-inches falls in Silver Lake CO
1996  Detroit Red Wings complete winningest NHL season with 62 victories
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Husband Appreciation Day
[Tues] “Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus Best of Both Worlds Concert” CD/DVD set released
[Tues] That Sucks Day
[Wed] Stress Awareness Day
[Wed] International Noise Awareness Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Bike Safety Week / Boys & Girls Club Week / Bubblegum Week / Coin Week / Crime Victims Week / Lefty Awareness Week / Library Forgiveness Week / Pan American Week / Week Of the Ocean
BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 15 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
WORLD’S MOST USELESS INVENTIONS:
• Glow-In-the-Dark Sundial
• Imitation Cubic Zirconia
• Impact-Triggered Parachute
• Motorcycle Ashtray
• Aviation Air Bag
• Waterproof Tea Bags
• All-Terrain Roller Blades
• World’s Largest Microchip
• Compact Limousine
• Armpit-Scented Deodorant
BS HORROR MOVIE SURVIVAL GUIDE:
With the hit screamfest ”Prom Night” debuting in theaters over the weekend, it’s a good time to remind scary movie participants the rules on how to make it to the closing credits …
• When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it’s really dead.
• Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.
• If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.
• If you’re running from the bad guy, expect to trip or fall down at least twice … more if you are female.
• Beware of strangers bearing any and all tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, soldering irons, etc.
• If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house for help.
BS PHONE STARTER:
90% of women take their husband’s name when they get married, which means that only 10% don’t. Should they? Is this an outdated tradition or a necessary and meaningful gesture?
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
How long does the average person spend taking a morning shower?
a. 24 minutes.
b. 14 minutes.
c. 4 minutes. [CORRECT. Most people guess about 10; teen girls figure they take at least 15; but the actual average shower lasts just 4 minutes.]
– “Ladies’ Home Journal”
BS RANDOM JOKE:
An Ozarks husband and wife come out of divorce court. The woman starts crying. Her ex- puts his arm around her and says “Don’t be sad, hon. We’re still cousins!”
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: More money is spent on THIS hobby than any other.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Gardening.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Glory may be fleeting, but obscurity is forever.