April 19 2021

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Monday, April 19, 2021 — Edition: #6968

Sheet Happens!


★ Sandra Oh reportedly called police after $150,000 worth of jewelry went missing from her LA home — only to find it the next day. She recently returned to the property after a few months living elsewhere, and found the valuables gone, then called LAPD. Sources say a grand theft report was taken with the estimated value of the loss being more than $150,000. But the very next day, Oh called the cops back and told them her missing jewelry had shown up in the house. It’s unclear if it was somehow returned, or if it never left the house in the first place.
-Newsbreak, TMZ
★ Alfred Molina has not only confirmed that his ‘Doc Ock’ character, aka ‘Otto Octavius’, will return after 17 years on “Spider-Man: No Way Home,” but that the film will “de-age” him to match “the moment” he died in “Spider-Man 2.” In an interview, Molina, who is 67, said he had concerns about the physicality of the role, but “Spider-Man” director Jon Watts pointed out to him how Marvel Studios de-aged Robert Downey Jr. to appear the way he did in 1991 in 2016’s “Captain America: Civil War,” and Sam Jackson was de-aged to play a younger version of his character, ‘Nick Fury’, set in the 1990s, in 2019’s “Captain Marvel.” The third Spider-Man film starring Tom Holland is set for release this December.
★ Jimmy Kimmel and YouTube personality and engineer Mark Rober will host an online fundraiser to benefit those with autism. The three-hour event, “Color the Spectrum: A Livestream to Support the Autism Community,” will be held April 30 on Rober’s YouTube channel. Maya Rudolph, Adam Sandler, Chris Rock and Mark Hamill are among the celebrities set to take part Rober has a son on the autism spectrum.
★ Felix Silla, the actor best known for playing ‘Cousin Itt’ on “The Addams Family,” has died at the age of 84. Silla appeared as Cousin Itt for much of the show’s original run from 1964 to 1966. His other credits include “A Ticklish Affair,” the original “Star Trek” pilot, 1968’s “Planet of the Apes” and “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Riz Ahmed, Andra Day
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Michael Strahan, Emmy Blotnick
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Anthony Hopkins, Florian Zeller, Sen. Mazie Hirono
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV):  Catherine Zeta-Jones, Wyatt Russell, Emmanuelle Caplette
• “Conan” (TBS): Ted Danson (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Natasha De Bourg, Dani Soares
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sen. Mazie Hirono
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Debi Mazar, Sandy Kenyon
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jessica Biel, Olivia Holt, Michelle Buteau, Glass Animals
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): John Stamos, Cristin Milioti, Brandi Carlile
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Terry & Rebecca Crews, Kwame Onwuachi, Young Emperors
• “American Idol” (ABC): Ten finalists from the previous season return to sing for America’s vote; one remains in the competition this season, rounding out the top 10.
• “The Secrets She Keeps” (AMC): Premiere. Heavily pregnant supermarket shelf-stacker Agatha is obsessed with Meghan Shaughnessy’s seemingly perfect life.

• Machine Gun Kelly – is launching a unisex nail polish line. Known for loving his manicures and nail art, he’s partnered with Unlisted Brand Lab to launch “UN/DN” this fall. Fans will have to wait to find out the names and tones of polish shades coming.
• Taylor Swift — has broken a chart record set by The Beatles after “Fearless (Taylor’s Version)” took the #1 spot on the Official UK Albums Chart. That’s her third chart-topping album in 259 days, following “Folklore” and “Evermore”, the fastest 3 #1 albums ever. The Beatles scored 3 #1s in 364 days between 1965-1966, with “Help!”, “Rubber Soul”, and “Revolver”.
• DMX – The posthumous release ‘Been to Hell’ featuring Swizz Beatz and French Montana dropped on Friday. The song is from the Epix drama series “Godfather of Harlem”. The hip-hip legend passed away April 12 following a stint in intensive care after suffering a heart attack at his home on April 2.
• Whitesnake – is working on Christmas music. After reports surfaced late last week that the band is putting together a full holiday album, singer David Coverdale wrote on Twitter: “Nope…not an album…Sorry…I’m working on a couple of festive ditties…Not quite sure how to record with my guys remotely…But, def worth trying.”
• Ramones – SNL’s Pete Davidson will play Joey Ramone in Netflix’s upcoming biopic about the influential punk rocker. “I Slept With Joey Ramone” will be based on the memoir of the same name, written by Ramone’s brother Mickey Leigh.
• Luke Bryan – “Luke Bryan’s Crash My Playa”, his annual concert vacation, will be back in 2022, after being cancelled this year. He announced Friday that the event – set for Jan. 19-22, 2022 at Moon Palace Cancun – will feature 4 nights of country music on a private beach, complete with two headlining performances by Bryan and the return of Jason Aldean. Another headliner will be announced later.
• Thomas Rhett — has set new dates for his “Center Point Road Tour”, which was originally set for 2020 but postponed due to COVID-19. The updated list includes shows that have been rescheduled from last year, and newly-added dates. The tour will launch Aug. 13 in Orange Beach, Alabama. He’ll visit Philadelphia, West Palm Beach, Florida, Chicago and more.
• Little Big Town – Were down a man at last night’s ACM Awards, after singer Phillip Sweet tested positive for COVID-19. The group’s Karen Fairchild said “He’s not feeling great, but he’s doing okay.” Little Big Town were nominated in the Vocal Group of the Year category and scheduled to sing their current single, ‘Wine, Beer, Whiskey’.


Living in a crowded area such as a densely-populated city does not mean you are more likely to get COVID-19. That’s according to data from a health app based in Tehran, Iran, which was an epicenter in the early days of the pandemic. In a study of the data, researchers wrote that population “density alone cannot be considered a risk factor.” They did point out, however, that there is a difference between “high density” and “overcrowding”, and when a place is overcrowded, it becomes difficult to achieve a safe social distance. Scientists found that the most critical factors affecting someone’s likelihood of getting COVID-19 are age, wealth and health care access, as well as behavioral variables, such as the likelihood of some residents to follow public health recommendations.
(Ah! You mean intelligence!)
(That may be true, but a year ago, I’m pretty sure it all depended on how much toilet paper you had!)
(I’d finish this with a coronavirus joke, but you’d have to wait 2 weeks to know if you got it…)

Engineers at Perdue University have created what they are calling “the whitest paint ever”. They say their innovation could help to cool buildings, reduce the energy demands of air conditioning, and even help mitigate climate change. The new ultra-white paint reflects 98.1% of sunlight, essentially making it the opposite of ultra-dark materials such as Vantablack, which absorbs 99.9 percent of visible light. In tests, the paint made building surfaces 8°F (4.5°C) cooler than ambient temperatures at noon on a sunny day, and 19°F (10.5°C) cooler at night. The team has been developing this paint for years, and experimented with a wide range of materials and manufacturing techniques, eventually settling on paint pigmented with barium sulfate, a white powder that is reflective across all wavelengths of sunlight. They hope to make it commercially available within 2 years.
(Reportedly, the stuff is also awesome when used as white-out!)
(The only thing whiter that I can think of is Conan O’Brien!)
(Except you need 37 coats to cover anything dark…)

Reese’s, the company famous for its peanut butter cups, is launching its own makeup line. And no, it’s not edible. It has teamed up with makeup company HipDot for a limited-edition collection that includes eye shadow palettes in “milk chocolate” and “white chocolate” with 6 shades in each, plus 2 tinted lip balms (named “Chocolate Lovers” and “Peanut Butter Lovers”), and two makeup brushes. The limited-edition collection comes as the beauty industry tries to recover from being slammed by the pandemic. Mask wearing and working from home has resulted in a 34% drop in makeup sales in 2020 compared to the year before.
(Funny enough, chocolate sales skyrocketed!)
(Can a collaboration with Victoria’s Secret be very far away? Get ready for the “Peanut Butter B-Cup” lacy bra…)
(C’mon, at least tell me the lip balm tastes like peanut butter cups!)

➢ Adjust your posture:  Straighten your spine while in a meeting, or stand tall with your chest out when meeting someone. That simple adjustment works wonders to boost your self-confidence because of the relationship between our mind and body.
➢ Listen to uplifting music:  If you’re nervous about giving a big presentation, listening to high-energy songs with a positive message can boost your self-esteem. Workers who feel more confident after listening to an upbeat song also tend to be more productive. (‘Everybody Hurts’ isn’t going to cut it here!)
➢ Say a mantra to yourself in the mirror:  Start your day in the right mindset by creating a positive message to say out loud to yourself. This can encourage an optimistic outlook which creates confidence. Examples: “I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness”, “I have the power to create change” (Or “Chances are, I won’t be fired today…”)
➢ Exercise regularly:  Working out has numerous mental health benefits, and those who do feel less anxious and depressed. And when you see results, you naturally carry yourself more confidently. (Maybe. But it’s not a risk I’m willing to take…)
➢ Keep a list of obstacles you’ve overcome in the past:  Think of them when you are confronted by a hardship that feels overwhelming. It helps to remember past accomplishments and draw from your past victories. (Like the time I was voted “most likely to not succeed”?)

A Men’s Health study has determined that 37 is now considered middle-aged. The research comes from a study that pegged average life expectancy in the US for men at 76. “The Great Middle Age Survey” of 530 men who are exactly 37-years-old, found 57% of men said they felt pretty good about being 37 despite it being the middle stage of their life, and 21% reported that they felt great. However, one in four participants said they felt they were on the cusp of a midlife crisis.


1946 [75] Tim Curry, Grappenhall England, movie actor (“Rocky Horror Picture Show”)/TV actor (‘Pennywise’ the clown in the “It” miniseries, 1990)

1968 [53] Ashley Judd, Granada Hills CA, TV actress (“Missing” 2012)/movie actress (“Divine Secrets Of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood”, “Double Jeopardy”)/daughter of Naomi Judd, half-sister of Wynonna

1969 [52] Jesse James, Long Beach CA, reality TV star (“Monster Garage” 2003-07, “Jesse James Is a Dead Man” 2009)/married to Sandra Bullock 2005-10

1978 [43] Joanna Gaines, Wichita Kansas, reality star (“Fixer Upper” 2013-18)/author of at least 26 books

1978 [43] James Franco, Palo Alto CA, movie actor (“127 Hours”, “Pineapple Express”) COMING UP…”The Long Home”

1979 [41] Kate Hudson, LA CA, movie actress (“Kung Foo Panda 3″, “Almost Famous”)/daughter of Goldie Hawn. COMING UP…”Shriver”

1981 [40] Hayden Christensen, Vancouver BC, movie actor (“Jumper”, “Star Wars: Episodes II and III”)

1987 [34] Maria Sharapova, Nyagan Russia, former pro tennis player (35 singles, 5 Grand Slam titles, ranked world #1 by the WTA on 5 separate occasions)/one-time highest-paid female athlete

• “Amaretto Day”, Amaretto in Italian means “a little bitter” and is made from bitter almonds or apricot kernels or both. The nuts are infused in pure alcohol or brandy, resulting in a strong almond flavor.

• “Garlic Day”, saluting the ‘stinking rose’ that has been cultivated as long as history has been recorded. It’s said that if you rub a clove of garlic on your partner’s feet at night, you’ll taste it on their breath the next morning. (Why you’d actually want to do this, I’m not sure…)

• “Hanging Out Day”, an initiative of Project Laundry List promoting energy conservation by using a clothesline instead of an electric dryer. (And while you’re at it, hang those garlic-y feet outside for a while, willya?) LINK: http://www.laundrylist.org

• “Bicycle Day”, commemorating the date that Dr. Albert Hofmann first tripped on LSD and bicycled home from his lab in Basel, Switzerland in 1943. During the ride home, he experienced the psychedelic effects of LSD, the first acid trip in history. (A bicycle ‘trip’?)

• “Humorous Day”, a day to find the humor in any situation that happens to be thrown our way, and to remember to see the bright side and to realize that most things are really not as important as they at first may seem. (My wife and I share the same sense of humor. We have to, because she doesn’t have one of her own…)

[Tues] Lima Bean Day
[Tues] Look Alike Day
[Wed] Big Word Day
[Wed] Bulldogs are Beautiful Day
This Week Is…Volunteer Week
This Month Is…Garden Month

2001 [20] The smash hit musical “The Producers”, based on the Mel Brooks film of the same name, opens on Broadway

2002 [19] Alice In Chains lead singer Layne Staley is discovered dead in his Seattle apartment after being reported missing. He had died April 5 of a drug overdose at 34

2012 [09] Singer/drummer Levon Helm (formerly of The Band) dies of cancer in NYC at 71

2014 [07] The White House refuses to comment on a campaign to deport Justin Bieber back to Canada after 275,000 people sign a petition lambasting his behavior

1919 [102] Leslie Irvin of the US makes the first premeditated free-fall parachute jump

2005 [16] Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger is elected Pope Benedict XVI (quits on February 28, 2013)


✓ “Greek yogurt” is actually Turkish.
✓ ‘Jim’ pranked ‘Dwight’ 114 times throughout the entirety of the U.S. version of “The Office.”
✓ Post-it notes should be peeled horizontally, not in an upward motion, which causes the paper to curl.
✓ Nearly all spiders are venomous.
✓ Men and women who listen to similar music tend to be better communicators and have longer- lasting relationships.
✓ According to a poll, doctors and lawyers are the worst tippers.
-WhattheFFacts, BathroomReadersInstitute

Best of BS . . .

• Breathe in…and that’s it
• I must, I must, I must increase my bust
• OHM…magerd
• Namaste home and drink
• Who let the downward dogs out? Who, who, who, who, who?
• Wearing yoga pants is the same as doing the yoga
• Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey
• Please be able to get up…Please be able to get up…Please be able to get up
• Oh, my, God Becky, look at her butt
• New mantra. Who dis?
• I will not fart…I will not fart…I will not fart
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

➠ An Australian shopper found a venomous snake in a sealed lettuce bag. (Wouldn’t it have been horrible if he had eaten it? I mean, salad sucks!)
➠ According to a report, one-third of Americans don’t live in their home state. (The other two thirds couldn’t afford the greyhound bus ticket…)
➠ Singer Halsey is pregnant. (There’s no word who the father is, but so far, it’s been narrowed down to New Jersey…)
➠ Kourtney Kardashian turned 42 on Sunday. (She spent the day getting stuff from people without doing anything. So, it was exactly like every other day.)
➠ The ACMs were last night. (As you’d probably expect, the big winner was whoever invented bolo ties and extra-tight Bedazzled jeans…)

• Which continent is largest?
a) Asia [CORRECT]
b) Africa
c) North America
d) Antarctica

• Which of these peppers is highest on the Scoville scale (hottest)?
a) Habanero
b) Carolina Reaper [CORRECT]
c) Jalapeño
d) Red Hot Chili

• If you get an eagle in golf, how many strokes did you take?
a) One over par
b) Par
c) One under par
d) Two under par [CORRECT]

‘Check out’ my new friend: https://tinyurl.com/3bmtd87c

Which celebrity would you most like to sit next to on a long flight?

There isn’t much to see in a small town, but what you hear sure makes up for it.


Question:  According to a scientific study, humans are not biologically equipped to do THIS before 10am. What is it?
Answer:  Work

Nobody plans to fail; they just fail to plan.


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