August 31 2020

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Monday, August 31, 2020 – Edition: #6798

The BS Press!

There will be no “Bull Sheet” on Monday Sept 7, the Labour Day holiday. The Bull Sheet will resume on Tuesday, September 8th. All subscribers will receive account credits for the non-service day.

★ Denzel Washington is among the Hollywood stars paying tribute to “Black Panther” star Chadwick Boseman, who died of colon cancer on Friday at the age of 43. In a statement, Washington wrote: “He was a gentle soul and a brilliant artist, who will stay with us for eternity through his iconic performances over his short yet illustrious career. God bless Chadwick Boseman.” In 2018, Boseman revealed that Washington had helped pay for students, including himself, to study acting in England as part of the British American Drama Academy’s Midsummer in Oxford program. In addition to his role as “black Panther”, Boseman starred as pioneering baseball player Jackie Robinson in 2013’s “42”.
★ Netflix has hit the pause button on a virtual event previewing Chadwick Boseman’s movie “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom” in light of his death. The event was set for this morning and was to include first-seen clips from the film, as well as a conversation with director George C. Wolfe and Boseman’s co-star, Viola Davis. The film is set in 1920’s Chicago and deals with issues of race, art, religion and the exploitation of black recording artists by white producers.
★ Ryan Murphy shared an update about Season 10 of “American Horror Story” on Friday, saying that production on the new season will begin in October. He wrote on Instagram alongside a low-resolution image of teeth: “Thanks to everyone who is working hard to assure a safe start for the cast and crew. And yes, this is a clue.” Season 10 was pushed to 2021 by FX earlier this year when the pandemic forced delays to the show’s production timeline.
★ Three more stars are making their way to the dance floor on “Dancing With the Stars”. Jesse Metcalfe (“Desperate Housewives”), Anne Heche (“Another World”) and ex-NFL player Vernon Davis will join the ABC series for Season 29. They join former “Bachelorette” Kaitlyn Bristowe and Backstreet Boys member AJ McLean in the cast. Carole Baskin, of “Tiger King” fame is also reportedly being considered to appear, an idea that has already gotten fans of the Netflix series talking.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Luke Bryan, guest host Jason Derulo (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Mike Tyson, Adam Devine, Chronixx (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Conan O’Brien, Michael Stipe (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Seth Rogen, Gillian Jacobs, Thaddeus Dixon (R)
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jamie Lee Curtis, JJ Redick, Alexander 23 (R)
• “Conan” (TBS): Jason Sudeikis
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Mary Trump (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Shannen Doherty (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kristin Chenoweth, Marie Haycox (R)
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kendall Jenner, cheerleaders from the docuseries “Cheer” (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Tim McGraw, Kermit the Frog, Nicole Avant, Black Pumas
• “The Bachelor: The Greatest Seasons — Ever!” (ABC): A look back at Nick Viall’s dramatic search for his soul mate.
• “The 93 Victims of Samuel Little” (ID): Premiere. A chance phone call brings together an FBI crime analyst, a DOJ forensics expert and a Texas Ranger, who join forces to seek a cold-case murder confession from a convicted killer.

• Nikki Fre$h — Nicole Richie’s rapper alter ego is back with the new album “Unearthed”. It features a selection of songs that lean heavily into environmentalism. Nikki Fre$h is also the name of Richie’s new Quibi series, in which the former star of “The Simple Life” attempts to redefine herself as “the queen of trap”.
• Cardi B – Although no stranger to controversial lyrics, she recently revealed to an interviewer the words she will not use in a song. Among them: “Moist”, because it’s “cringy” and “horchata”, (a Mexican drink), which is “really good, but I just hate that word.”)
• Foo Fighters – Frontman Dave Grohl makes a brief cameo in “Bill & Ted Face the Music,” which was released this past weekend. He shows up in a sequence set in the year 2025, when Bill and Ted are rock stars. Kid Cudi makes an appearance in the present day.
• Leonard Cohen – His estate and publishing company are threatening legal action after his song ‘Hallelujah’ was used twice at the Republican National convention without approval. Cohen’s team described the move as a “brazen attempt to politicize and exploit” one of his most famous songs.
• Ozzy Osbourne — The 71-year-old – who is battling Parkinson’s disease — says when he’ll finally retire when he hears “them nail a lid on my box. And then I’ll (f’n) do an encore. I’m the Prince of Darkness.” He calls performing for his fans ”the best love affair of my life”.
• Brett Eldredge – says he cried after watching his new music video for ‘Sunday Drive” for the first time. Quote: “I was drinking a smoothie, sitting in my car, watching it on my phone, and I completely lost it. … I’ve shot a lot of music videos, but nothing has ever come close to the emotion of this.”
• Brothers Osborne – have become big fans of Dua Lipa while in quarantine. T.J. Osborne says that as they were working on their upcoming third album “Skeletons”, they were also listening to lots of music including the pop princess. Quote: “I feel like she’s going to be the next artist to blow up.”

The city of Chicago is offering $5,000 for the best ideas to facilitate cold weather outdoor dining. As restaurants adapt to the new normal, eateries that largely rely on outdoor dining are growing concerned about their next obstacle: winter. In an effort to help, the city has announced a “Winter Design Challenge” aimed at finding an innovative solution that still adheres to local health and safety guidelines. The winners will receive $5,000 for their most creative, feasible ideas. The contest runs through Sept. 7, when winners will be chosen in three categories: “outdoor, standalone structures”; “indoor-adjacent spaces”; and “cultural shifts making winter dining more appealing.”
(How are they going to convince people to eat outside in January? I can’t even get someone in my family to PICK UP dinner then!)
(“Good evening. Would you like to dine on the “March of the Penguins” patio…or the “Frozen” terrace?”)
(As far as I can see, there’s only one answer: Free booze!)

The man called the world’s oldest hockey player has died. 99-year-old Mark Sertich of Duluth, Minnesota had laced up his skates as recently as last month, when his morning hockey league was allowed to return to action following the lockdown. Guinness World Records listed the WWII vet as the oldest ice hockey player when he broke his own record in 2017 by playing at an international oldtimers’ tournament in Santa Rosa, California at 96 years and 2 days old. And when his team offered him a lifetime achievement certificate with free ice-time for his 80th birthday, they didn’t expected that they’d be covering his expenses for two more decades.
(He just enjoyed being with people who had fewer teeth than him!)
(And you thought your kids’ equipment stinks! Sorry…That was offside.)

➢ It’s no secret that the COVID-19 pandemic is stressful for everyone. And while experts aren’t sure how it will affect people long-term, some say they’ve seen patients who have experienced what they are calling “shock hair loss”. While it isn’t a new condition, the phenomenon appears 3-4 months after a “stressor” such as anxiety, depression or financial stress, and can result in the shedding of up to 50% of your hair. The good news? Shock hair loss isn’t forever. It takes about six months for the hair to grow back. (I’ve heard some women get this after childbirth. Well, some women AND some new dads…)
➢ In the privacy of a bathroom, social distancing isn’t usually a concern. Despite that, a new study finds public restrooms can expose you to viruses like COVID-19 with every single flush. Researchers in China say public toilets, and especially men’s urinals, can spray you with virus-covered particles in a matter of seconds. Their study found that every flush is potentially exposing people to both feces and urine-based virus droplets. This is particularly dangerous amid the coronavirus pandemic, which typically spreads through fluid droplets. (I think I just threw up a little in my mask!)
-Ladders, StudyFinds

✪ Home Alone 2:  “they are criminals but nobody deserves to be hit in the head over and over by a brick”
✪ RuPaul’s Drag Race:  “Title is very misleading for us country folks.”
✪ Taken 3:  “I’m beginning to think he’s just a bad parent”
✪ Titanic:  “oh yeah a boat this big could really sink”
✪ The Shining:  “It’s hard to believe that a hotel that size in Colorado would close in the winter with all the skiing business”
✪ Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope:  “Awful, looks like it was filmed in the 70s”
✪ A Bug’s Life:  “I never knew what struggles bugs went through…changed my life”
✪ The Wolf of Wall Street:  “There were no wolves in the movie.”
✪ There Will be Blood:  “There was almost no blood in the whole movie.”
✪ The Emoji Movie:  “A MASTERPIECE FOR THE MODERN ERA. Haha I’m just joking but could you imagine?”
✪ (***Caution: content***) Free Willy 4: Escape From Pirate’s Cove:  “At this point, we must assume Willy either loves captivity or he’s an attention seeking whore.”

Scientists in Norway have found that painting one of the three blades on a wind turbine black reduces bird fatalities by 72%. They say that if this “contrast painting” were to be implemented at new wind farms, it could reduce public opposition, speed up permitting processes and enable wind farms to be built at sites previously thought to be too problematic. (Strangely, the same benefit was NOT realized by painting one airplane propeller blade…)


1945 [75] (Ivan) ‘Van’ Morrison, Belfast, Northern Ireland, rock-pop-blues singer (‘Moondance’, ‘Brown Eyed Girl’, w/Them-‘Gloria’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1993)

1948 [72] Rudolf Schenker, Hildesheim Germany, rock guitarist (Scorpions-‘Rock You Like a Hurricane’)

1949 [71] Richard Gere, Philadelphia PA, movie actor (“An Officer and a Gentleman”, “Pretty Woman”)

1970 [50] Deborah Gibson, Brooklyn NY, pop singer (‘Only in My Dreams’, ‘Lost in your Eyes’)

1972 [48] Chris Tucker, Atlanta GA, movie actor (“Rush Hour” movies)/stand-up comedian

1975 [45] Sara Ramirez, Mazatlan, Mexico, TV actress (‘Dr Callie Torres’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2006)/Broadway actress (Tony Award -“Spamalot”)

• “Motorist Consideration Monday”, dedicated to being considerate, patient, and courteous while traveling, no matter what one’s mode of transportation is—car, bike, public transportation, or even by walking.

• “Eat Outside Day”, a great excuse to eat outside one more time before Summer comes to an end and we all get busy with Fall activities. (Did anyone book the ants?)

• “Love Litigating Lawyers Day”, Well, they DO love litigating… (You know the problem with making lawyer jokes? Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and no one else thinks they’re jokes.)

• “Trail Mix Day”, celebrating the combination of nuts, seeds, dried fruits (bark, twigs, compost, etc.) that takes about a gallon of water to wash down.

• “Matchmaker Day”, honoring those romantics (aka busybodies) whose dauntless pursuit of perfect matches for cupid’s arrow results in long-lasting love stories. Playing matchmaker requires a bit of social savvy, the ability to listen, and timing.

• “We Love Memoirs Day”,  a memoir is different from an autobiography in that an autobiography may cover an individual’s whole life, but a memoir has a narrower focus and covers a significant period in a person’s life. Some historically important memoirs include Henry David Thoreau’s “Walden”, and Anne Frank’s “The Diary of a Young Girl”.

[Tues] American Chess Day
[Tues] No Rhyme or Reason Day
[Wed] Pierce Your Ears Day
[Wed] Coconut Day
This Week Is…National Waffle Week
This Month Is…Baby Safety Month

1997 [23] Diana, Princess of Wales, is killed at age 36 in a car crash in a tunnel near the Eiffel Tower in Paris. Also killed are her companion, Dodi Fayed, and their driver, Henri Paul. Bodyguard Trevor Rees-Jones, the only one wearing a seat-belt, survives

2004 [16] Hollywood action star-turned-California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger addresses the Republican National Convention, telling pessimists about the economy not to be “girly men”

2018 [02] “A Star is Born” film remake, directed by and starring Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga, premieres at the Venice Film Festival (8 Academy Award noms)

2002 [18] NASA announces ’NSYNC’s 23-year-old Lance Bass as the first celebrity astronaut, aboard a future Russian Soyuz mission (doesn’t happen as he fails to pay the $20-million tab)

2004 [16] Green Day releases ‘American Idiot’, the first single and title song of their upcoming landmark album, to be released three weeks later.

2006 [14] Stolen on August 22, 2004, Edvard Munch’s famous painting “The Scream” is recovered in a raid by Norwegian police. It is said to be in a better-than-expected condition

2015 [05] Barack Obama restores the Native American name of the tallest North American peak, Alaska’s Mount McKinley, announcing it will revert to its former name of Denali

1995 [25] 6 people die attempting to rescue a chicken that has fallen down a well in southern Egypt (only the chicken survives)


✓ In a room with 23 people, there is a 50% chance of two of them having the same birthday. If there are 70 people, it increases to 99.9%.
✓ Wasps get aggressive towards the end of summer because they get drunk on fermenting fruit hanging from the trees.
✓ Shoelaces untie themselves because the knot is subjected to forces of up to 7G with every step that the wearer takes.
✓ Coffee is the world’s most recognizable smell.
✓ Drowning, not thirst, is the leading cause of accidental deaths in the Sahara Desert.
✓ It takes a week to 10 days to make a jellybean.
-UnbelievableFacts, BathroomReadersInstitute

• Add hot sauce to spicy food.
• Watch the news 8 times a day and expect something new.
• Think Axe body spray is an effective substitute for a shower.
• Tell her to calm down.
• Get married. I’ll hide now.
• Mansplain. That means a man explaining something to a woman in a condescending manner, ladies.
• Hold my beer and I’ll show you…

Best of BS . . .
• Batman Begins . . . Preschool
• Meet the Lockers
• The Fifth Elementary
• Look Who’s Chalking
• The A+ Team
• From Desk ’til Dawn
• No Country for Old Math
• Close Encounters of the Third Grade Kind
• The Curious Pencil Case of Benjamin Button
• Get Out – Your Alarm Clock
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

➠ The 37th VMA’s took place over the weekend. It was MTV’s night to shine. (The other 364 days of the year, it’s all teenage pregnancies, drug addicts and celebrity wannabes taking selfies!)
➠ MTV’s Video Music Awards were held last night. (The big winner?  Anyone with a working remote.)
➠ This year, Starbucks released their Pumpkin Spice Latte about a month early. (Man, I hate that stuff…I mean, If the coronavirus vaccine is pumpkin spice-flavored, I’d STILL think twice.)
➠ A study finds that six in ten women over the age of 60 have active sex lives. (In other words, if the Scooter-is-a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’!)
➠ Joe Ruby, the co-creator of “Scooby-Doo,” died last week at 87. (He’d still be alive too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids…)

Me trying to work on a Monday:

• What year was the first iPhone released?
a) 2003
b) 2007 [CORRECT]
c) 2009
d) 1984

• Which email service is owned by Microsoft?
a) Hotmail [CORRECT]
b) Gmail
c) Yahoo!
d) SloMail

• Originally, Amazon sold only what product?
a) Chartered river tours
b) Movies
c) Books [CORRECT]
d) Eggs

What current or past song defines Summer for you?

I dream of a day when paper towel manufacturers just say how many rolls are in the package, and not how many hypothetical rolls would be in the package if they were some other hypothetical size.

Question:  About 15% of kids will get THIS before the school year begins, whether they’re going to school in person or doing e-learning. What is it?
Answer:  New glasses

No man has ever hurt his eyes by looking on the bright side.


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