August 26 2020

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Wednesday, August 26, 2020 – Edition: #6795

Another Sheetload of Bull!

★ TikTok sued the U.S. Government on Monday, combating President Trump’s executive order banning the app from the U.S. unless it’s sold to an American company. The company, owned by Beijing-based Bytedance, said Trump’s executive order unfairly targets the popular video app “without any evidence to justify such an extreme action, and without any due process.” The lawsuit comes a little more than a week after Trump ordered Bytedance to sell TikTok’s U.S. operations within 90 days, saying there is “credible evidence” TikTok “might take action that threatens to impair the national security of the United States.”
★ Medical personnel had to be called in during an emergency on Sunday’s “Naked and Afraid: Foreign Exchange”. Two French contestants took on the challenge of surviving in the Colombian jungle for 21 days. While they succeeded, one of them left with a few new stitches. While cutting bamboo he accidentally cut his hand just below the wrist. Though the gash was not large, it was quite deep. In order to close the wound and stave off infection, a medic had to stitch it closed. (On that show, the wounds are the only things that are dressed!)
★ Amy Poehler will direct a documentary about comedy icons Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. “Lucy & Desi” will look at Hollywood’s great love story between Lucy and Desi, and tell the story of the groundbreaking comedian Ball, who changed the way the world viewed comedy and paved the way for scores of women who followed in her footsteps. It will utilize archival film and personal photos, and examine how Ball evolved from a performer to a businesswoman, and the impact of the couple’s hit show “I Love Lucy”.
★ Dennis Quaid should have no problem remembering his cat’s name. He has adopted a cat named — ‘Dennis Quaid’. Quaid – the actor — learned of a shelter cat bearing his name in Lynchburg, Virginia. So, he did what any reasonable person would do. He adopted it. He says: I just couldn’t resist…I’m out to save all the Dennis Quaids of the world.” Now, he plans to turn the story into a non-scripted TV project called — “Saving Dennis Quaid”.


• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Luke Bryan, guest host Jason Derulo
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Hugh Jackman, Lili Reinhart, Buju Banton (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Rep. Nancy Pelosi
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jake Tapper, Matthew Macfadyen, Foster the People (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Madison Beer
• “Conan” (TBS): Jim Gaffigan (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Patricia Heaton, John Quiñones (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Billy Ray Cyrus (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Connie Britton, Matt Bomer, Lonnie Chavis, Rhett & Link (R)
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): John Krasinski, Curtis Stone, Cat Cora, Susan Feniger (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Jake Johnson, Chad Veach, Danielle Kartes, JoJo
• “United We Fall” (ABC): Season 1 finale
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): Five acts move on to the semifinals.
• “Women in Film Presents: Make It Work!” (CW): Variety special with music and comedy exploring the issues and solutions for getting women back to work following the pandemic.

• The Weeknd – He and DJ Calvin Harris have teamed up to record ‘Over Now’, dropping this Friday. The news comes after The Weeknd teased the project on his Instagram account, posting a photograph of himself and Harris sharing drinks backstage at Coachella.
Katy Perry – says her pregnancy weight gain has forced her to change her singing voice by “a couple of keys”. Her new album “smile” comes out on Friday, and she said: “It’s interesting having 45 extra pounds just kind of like sitting on you; 30 of that is just right here on my lung capacity.”
• Wiz Khalifa – has partnered with virtual restaurant brand curator “Nextbite” to start up a delivery-only restaurant chain called “HotBox by Wiz”, which will open on Oct. 1. He personally curated the menu. Locations in major US cities will be added monthly based on fan voting.
• Backstreet Boys — AJ McLean is getting ready to rock his body on the ballroom floor. He is set to appear on Season 29 of “Dancing With the Stars”, which premieres Sept. 14. He teased his “big news” via Instagram on Monday, showing off some recent major changes to his diet and exercise routine.
Nirvana — A revamped version of their brooding song ‘Something in the Way’ appears in the newly released teaser for “The Batman”, the upcoming franchise reboot starring Robert Pattinson. The original version appeared on the group’s signature 1991 album “Nevermind”. LINK:
• Chris Cornell — A movie based on the last days of the late Soundgarden singer will begin shooting Sept. 10. “Black Days” will star Johnny Holiday, who played Carl Perkins in the 2005 Johnny Cash biopic “Walk the Line”.
• Goo Goo Dolls – has announced “It’s Christmas All Over”, an upcoming holiday album that will include covers of classics and two originals. It drops Oct. 30. The Goos are also working on a new album of original music.
• Justin Townes Earle – The acclaimed Americana singer-songwriter and the son of Steve Earle has died at age 38. A statement on his social media says: “So many of you have relied on his music and lyrics over the years and we hope that his music will continue to guide you on your journeys.” No cause of death has been revealed.
• Justin Moore – has hit #1 for the ninth time with ‘Why We Drink’. He says his Mom inspired the song at a family meal in a restaurant, where he had ordered two beers. Quote: “My mom just simply looked at me, she goes, ‘Why do you drink so much?’ Now, she’s drinking a margarita at the time, mind you. I said, ‘Hell, I don’t know, I just like it. It’s part of my job requirement, I think.'”
• Jason Aldean — will headline a free virtual concert on Aug. 28 with Brett Young and Maddie & Tae. “Jason’s Backyard Beach” concert will air live on Live Nation’s Twitter and online hub at 6 p.m. ET.

As workers continue to filter back into offices in the wake of the pandemic, a photography company in Dubai is using color-coded bracelets as way of helping co-workers indicate to others how they’d like to be greeted. Upon arriving at reception, the 100 employees of Create Media Group can choose between green bracelets, to show fist bumps are fine, yellow ones to indicate they can chat without touching, and red bands, to indicate others should keep their distance. Managing director Tom Otton says: “Anybody can walk into the reception; they pick one of those bands up and they put that on and it gives a very clear signal to anyone else who is interacting with them on how close to get.”
(Just my luck. Nobody wants to do a “super-cool secret college handshake”.)
(And if you grab a Kleenex before you grab a bracelet, they throw you right out!)

A new study by North Carolina State University has apparently debunked a few myths regarding “robocalls”, those relentless pesky scam or marketing calls that we all seem to receive. For one, the researchers found that, contrary to what you might believe, they are NOT becoming more frequent. The number of robocalls was “virtually identical from month to month” during their 11-month study which ended early this year. They also found that answering robocalls or speaking with telemarketers won’t make you likely to receive even more unsolicited phone calls. However, they discovered it is true that there actually are unlucky people who get swamped by nonstop calls, leaving their phone unusable for several days.
(So those people feel like my parents did when I was a teenager and we had dial-up internet?)
(Who answers the phone when they don’t recognize the number?)

Humans have been sleeping in beds for nearly as long as they’ve been roaming the earth, according to a new study published in the journal Science. In South Africa’s renowned Border Cave excavation site, archaeologists have uncovered evidence of grass sleeping mats that date back 200,000 years — more than 100,000 years earlier than previously thought. They say the prehistoric slumber sacks used a surprisingly sophisticated system of grass stacked on top of ash from a fireplace or burned plants, which was apparently used to keep pets from jumping in. It is thought that these beds were also used as a workspace, as they contained stone shards from the tools used in their making.
(So just like my kids, cavemen had a problem with crumbs in their beds?)
(Where did you think they slept? On the couch?)

➢ Make a list:  Assign a budget and stick to it. (And for God’s sake, DON’T bring the kids along!)
➢ Find sales:  For back-to-school clothes, shop end of summer sales and focus on apparel the kids can wear all year long. (Whether they like it or not!)
➢ Buy in bulk:  Kids can really go through the essentials like paper, pencils, glue sticks and notebooks quickly.  (And backpacks. Trust me.)
➢ Do your online homework:  Follow your favorite brands and retailers on social media and sign up for their email newsletters. It’s a great way to stay in the know about the latest and greatest deals. Sometimes they even have exclusive sales for their followers. (No fair! 12 more days of summer vacation, and I have to do homework?)
➢ (New this year) Buy masks in bulk
-Insauga, first published in BS in 2019

KFC has decided to stop using its “Finger Lickin’ Good” slogan because of the coronavirus pandemic. The chicken restaurant chain said it is pausing use of the phrase after 64 years because its message “doesn’t quite fit” following the COVID-19 outbreak. The company has released new images of advertising posters and packaging with the well-known slogan blurred and pixelated. It says the classic slogan will return “when the time is right”. (Oh. I thought that meant the new slogan is “Blurred and Pixelated”!)


1957 [63] Rick Hansen, Port Alberni BC, Paralympic games athlete (3 gold medals) /philanthropist/wheelchair marathoner (his “Man in Motion” world tour logged more than 40,000 km through 34 countries on four continents before crossing Canada)

1966 [54] Dan Vickrey, Walnut Creek CA, rock guitarist (Counting Crows-‘Mr. Jones’, ‘Accidentally in Love”)

1969 [51] Adrian Young, Long Beach CA, rock drummer (No Doubt-‘Don’t Speak’, ‘It’s My Life’)

1970 [50] Melissa McCarthy, Plainfield IL, movie actress (“Identity Thief”, “Bridesmaids”)/TV actress (“Mike & Molly” 2010-16) COMING UP… “Superintelligence”, 2020

1975 [45] Tyler Connolly, Delta BC, rock singer-guitarist (Theory Of a Deadman-‘No Surprise’, ‘Not Meant to Be’)

1980 [40] Macaulay Culkin, New York City NY, movie actor (“Home Alone”, “Uncle Buck”, “My Girl”)

1980 [40] Chris Pine, LA CA, movie actor (“Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse”, “Wonder Woman”, “Star Trek” films) COMING UP… “Wonder Woman 1984”, 2020

1985 [35] Brian Kelley, Ormond Beach FL, country singer (Florida Georgia Line-‘Simple’, ‘Cruise’)

• “Dog Appreciation Day”, to encourage support, rescue, and help for dogs in need.

• “Make Your Own Luck Day”, a day to take affirmative action to gain control of your life. (Taking responsibility for your own actions … what a concept!)

• “Women’s Equality Day”, celebrating the civil rights movement by women that had its formal beginnings in 1848 at the world’s first women’s rights convention, in Seneca Falls NY.

• “National Cherry Popsicle Day”, the kind moms love ’cause the stains DON’T come out!

• “Toilet Paper Day”, What’s the difference between good and bad toilet paper? One is terrible the other is tearable. (Don’t stop me, I’m on a roll!)

• “WebMistress Day”, A WebMistress is a woman who designs, develops, markets and maintains websites. The term has existed since the mid-1990s. Comparatively, the term WebMaster arrived on the scene as early as 1986. (A ‘WebMistress’ isn’t what you thought it’d be, is it?)

[Thurs] Kiss Me Day
[Thurs] National Banana Lovers Day
[Fri] Red Wine Day
[Fri] Bow Tie Day

1996 [24] Electronics giant Philips unveils the first ‘Flat TV’, which can be hung on a wall (These people obviously never met my Uncle Jerry!)

2018 [02] Playwright and author Neil Simon (“The Odd Couple”), dies at 91

2014 [06] Kate Bush makes her stage comeback at London’s Hammersmith Apollo to an ecstatic response from fans at her first live concert in 35 years (22 shows are completely sold out in less than 15 minutes)

2019 [01] Ed Sheeran wraps up his ÷ (Divide) tour with a show in Ipswich, England, near his hometown of Framlingham. The tour, which began in March, 2017, set the record for highest-grossing tour, earning $775.6 million over 255 shows

2014 [06] It’s announced that Burger King has agreed to purchase Canada’s Tim Hortons restaurant chain for US$11.4 billion, creating the 3rd-largest global fast-food company (now fifth)

2013 [07] All 25,000 applicants to the University of Liberia fail their university entrance examination


✓ Your brain operates on the same amount of power that would light up a 10-watt light bulb.
✓ Babies remain calm twice as long when listening to a song as they do when listening to speech, according to a study.
✓ A reservoir of water 3 times the volume of all the oceans is located deep beneath the Earth’s surface.
✓ The term “junkie” comes from the fact that heroin users in the early 1900s would collect and sell scrap metal to pay for their fix.
✓ The Titanic crew had no binoculars , which may have helped them see the iceberg. They were inside a locker and the key was lost.
✓ Al Green, who wrote and recorded ‘Take Me To The River’, received more royalties from the “Big Mouth Billy Bass” fish version than from any other rendition of the song.
-WhattheFFacts, ThatEricAlper

Best of BS . . .

• Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Behind
• Taken 4: Granted
• Ironing Man
• Flushing Dory
• A Few Good Manbuns
• There’s Nothing About Mary
• RowBoatCop
• Driving Miss Daisy’s Hearse
• Titanic 2: Rose Moves On
• All the President’s Women
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

When someone asks if you’d like to see pictures of their vacation.
When a stranger asks if you need a ride home.
• When a cop asks if you’ve been drinking.
• When someone asks if they can see your browser history.
• When she says “Do you love me, honey?”
• When someone uses the words ‘help’, ‘me’ and ‘move’ in the same sentence.
• When anybody, anywhere, asks you to hold their beer.
• When someone asks you a question and you have no idea what they said.
• When someone asks you to look at their rash.
• When someone tells you not to call them Shirley.
-Twitter, 2018

➠ Macaulay Culkin is 40 today. (His whole family planned a big party, but completely forgot to bring him along…)
➠ It takes an average of 17 months and 26 days to get over an ex. (Damn! Just two days before the restraining order is lifted!)
➠ I just read that having a large amount of hair on your body is linked to higher intelligence. (A study clearly not conducted on that old guy folding towels in the men’s locker room.)
➠ Fact of the Day:  The state of Wyoming has only two escalators. (Whatever. . . I don’t care how I’m transported, just get me out!)
➠ Fact of the Day:  Male ladybugs can spend up to four hours mating with a dead female before they realize something’s not right. (Took me 4 years before I realized it!)

Sweet revenge:

You run down the list while your participant decides which choice is more palatable …
• Would you rather be really hairy or completely bald?
• Would you rather be 4′-5″ or 7′-7″?
• Would you rather be invisible or have X-ray vision?
• Would you rather put ketchup or chocolate fudge on everything you eat?
• Would you rather work three extra hours at your job or do three hours of housecleaning?
• Would you rather always wear comfortable clothes or always wear fashionable clothes?
• Would you rather look weak and actually be strong or look strong and actually be weak?
• Would you rather have a 3rd eye or a 3rd arm?
• Would you rather get $1,000 for sure, or have a 50% chance at $10,000 (but a 50% chance of getting nothing?

What thing has your pet conditioned you to do? (Sleep in a certain position? Quietly open your snack containers? Stand in the rain for 20 minutes saying the words “Go pee” over & over…)

Future historians will be asked which quarter of 2020 they specialize in.

Question:  The average worker says THIS phrase approximately three times per week. What is it?
Answer:  “I need a vacation.”

Failure is not the opposite of success. It’s an essential part of success.


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